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Time for another ranty thread

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    fadedangelfadedangel Posts: 263 The Mix Regular
    I am honestly so done.

    I think my grave is calling me because that’s what I deserve. I’m scum scum scum and that’s all I’ll ever be. I hate myself so much and I have done so many wrong things recently, I feel so guilty I want everything to just stop as i can’t cope. 

    I’m a fat, disgusting, scummy whale. Who is failing miserably at life. Omg why is life so hard, I can’t cope with it anymore - I hate my life so much. 

    I deserve to rot in my depressed hole as all I am is pollution to the earth. 

    😭😭😭
    « I have been through hell but the best is yet to come « 
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    DancerDancer Community Champion Posts: 7,859 Master Poster
    @Thoughtsy There is no fucking way that you are any of those bad things. And you deserve to have a great life- not rot in your depressed hole.
    "There's a part of me I can't get back. A little girl grew up too fast. All it took was once. I'll never be the same." ~ Demi Lovato
    "The way that I have found the light in my life is through the expressive arts because I know that I will be accepted for the way I am." ~ Me
    "I'm going to get strong again and see you soon. " ~ Anonymous 
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    Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,155 Part of The Furniture
    Why is it today again that I suddenly miss my nannas . I would give anything to have them back , anything 😭😭😭😭😭
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
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    fadedangelfadedangel Posts: 263 The Mix Regular
    I just keep losing everyone, why am I such an awful person? 😭😭
    « I have been through hell but the best is yet to come « 
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    BubblesGoesBooBubblesGoesBoo Posts: 3,590 Community Veteran
    Back to work today and i'm 110% done already :'(  
    ' So I put a bullet where I shouda put a helmet, and I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away, that's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself 'hey, I wanna get better''  
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    fadedangelfadedangel Posts: 263 The Mix Regular
    I honestly am so upset, I need to cry but I can’t :*(
    « I have been through hell but the best is yet to come « 
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    EyepatchEyepatch Posts: 666 Incredible Poster
    I fell of my skateboard and now can't bend my leg :/ going to get it looked at if I can't bend it by tomorrow. Hope everyone if having a better weekend than me 
    "Sometimes we find ourselves stuck between choosing what is right, and what is easy." 
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    TheAprilFoolTheAprilFool Posts: 187 Helping Hand
    I cried today because I felt like such an idiot. Before moving in I had quite a big fear of being embarrassed in front of my housemates for not being great at cooking and for not always knowing how to use things around the house. I was so tired I kept making dumb mistakes and my housemate had to help me. It wasn't a big deal, but I'm kind of self-conscious about this kind of thing and these moment always bring up a lot of anger for me because I get frustrated when I can't do something on my own and I kind of get mad at my parents for not always taking time during my childhood to show me some basic things. I feel like they did more for my brother than they did for me, but I can't really complain because I haven't seen the person who might be my half-sister in years and since my dad decided she shouldn't be allowed to visit anymore. I don't know if it's worth bringing all this stuff up, I never seem to be able to get my point across to them in a way that would make them change things. Maybe I'm just being ungrateful, but I feel like there are some things they should be trying to make up for. 
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,535 Skive's The Limit
    edited September 2018
    I think ive just had the most awful few days of just being sick from pills. I spent 17 pounds to just be sick on them. Fml. The internet says youre only meant to have 0.4 mg of folic acid daily from food. So why have i been given more. Thats more than the daily recommended(i think?) like what is wrong with me that i need that. Theyre used for pregnant woman. But think is mostly the iron pills that have made me ill. See my GP on friday to discuss my blood tests results and theyre going to say is my own fault for not eating. But im pretty sure i eat enough and i wouldnt need more than the recommend so clearly something else wrong. And my other blood tests before this have shown fine so clearly not because of my diet and a digestive problem or something

    Just feel so awful and sick & weak and now have to Walk to work For 40 minutes soon😭

    fml can i just die now
    Post edited by TheMix on
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,155 Part of The Furniture
    I give up with everything now - it’s clear I’m not going to get a break from just shit after shit after shit and to top it off the police officer who has been helping Mum through and doing the interview with her was the one who came out and did a self and well check in me back in October at 1 in the morning 😭
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
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    AbigailAbigail Posts: 818 Part of The Mix Family
    Feeling really bummed out about a decision I made recently affecting today. I really enjoyed having today off but I am thinking about later in life when I apply for jobs in either the music industry or film industry will it affect me getting the job. Sorry i really feeling bummed about it. Sorry really just need some form of closure. I came home crying most weeks for the passed 4 weeks included Saturday just been. Ahhhhh thing are just so annoying. 
    Some people think I am unhappy. I'm not. I just approach silence in the world that never stops talking.
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    fadedangelfadedangel Posts: 263 The Mix Regular
    I actually feel so ill right now, I am struggling to breathe because my nose is blocked my throats blocked. I hate this and I have to go school, this is all I bloody need. School is already shit 😷
    « I have been through hell but the best is yet to come « 
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    DancerDancer Community Champion Posts: 7,859 Master Poster
    Fucking teachers. Fucking homework. Fucking stress. Fucking detention. 
    "There's a part of me I can't get back. A little girl grew up too fast. All it took was once. I'll never be the same." ~ Demi Lovato
    "The way that I have found the light in my life is through the expressive arts because I know that I will be accepted for the way I am." ~ Me
    "I'm going to get strong again and see you soon. " ~ Anonymous 
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0 Just got here
    Our housekeeper said a cat had got in while she had the kitchen door open, and the bloody bastard had reamed its claws down the back of my lovely leather sofa. All cats can go to hell. They are the minions of Beelzebub. :#

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    DancerDancer Community Champion Posts: 7,859 Master Poster
    Don`t say that about cats @Floxy They are just crazy, annoying, funny creatures who bleat, sleep, eat, fart, sharpen their claws and repeat. Maybe the cat wanted attention.
    "There's a part of me I can't get back. A little girl grew up too fast. All it took was once. I'll never be the same." ~ Demi Lovato
    "The way that I have found the light in my life is through the expressive arts because I know that I will be accepted for the way I am." ~ Me
    "I'm going to get strong again and see you soon. " ~ Anonymous 
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    BubblesGoesBooBubblesGoesBoo Posts: 3,590 Community Veteran
    skint already this month and was feeling low so what do I do? book a trip to Aberdeen :#  Don't get me wrong im excited to go but my bank account hates me and im in the minus now :'(  
    ' So I put a bullet where I shouda put a helmet, and I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away, that's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself 'hey, I wanna get better''  
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    DancerDancer Community Champion Posts: 7,859 Master Poster
    Oh dear Bubbles. Nothing hates you.
    "There's a part of me I can't get back. A little girl grew up too fast. All it took was once. I'll never be the same." ~ Demi Lovato
    "The way that I have found the light in my life is through the expressive arts because I know that I will be accepted for the way I am." ~ Me
    "I'm going to get strong again and see you soon. " ~ Anonymous 
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0 Just got here
    Kasa2103 said:
    Don`t say that about cats @Floxy They are just crazy, annoying, funny creatures who bleat, sleep, eat, fart, sharpen their claws and repeat. Maybe the cat wanted attention.
    You bet I'll give said cat my undivided attention next time it claws my £5,000 sofa. :joy:
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    fadedangelfadedangel Posts: 263 The Mix Regular
    Not doing well tonight, struggling a lot. The voices are getting loud, the urges are high and I’m ill :( 

    Things just aren’t going my way ☹️
    « I have been through hell but the best is yet to come « 
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0 Just got here
    Thoughtsy said:
    Not doing well tonight, struggling a lot. The voices are getting loud, the urges are high and I’m ill :( 

    Things just aren’t going my way ☹️
    Make a note now to tell Amanda next time you see her. Your therapist should know about this!
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    Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,155 Part of The Furniture
    I’m tired of everything now - does somone want to take all my problems for the day so I can have a break ??? 🤣😭😭
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
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    BubblesGoesBooBubblesGoesBoo Posts: 3,590 Community Veteran
    Kasa2103 said:
    Oh dear Bubbles. Nothing hates you.
    Thanks, my friend gave me some money to get me out of the minus and going to pay her back when I get my bonus 😊 so exited to go, going to attempt to give up smoking so I have a bit more money for going aswell 😁 
    ' So I put a bullet where I shouda put a helmet, and I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away, that's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself 'hey, I wanna get better''  
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    fadedangelfadedangel Posts: 263 The Mix Regular
    Millie2787 said:
    I’m tired of everything now - does somone want to take all my problems for the day so I can have a break ??? 🤣😭😭
    Yeah please someone do that for me 😭
    « I have been through hell but the best is yet to come « 
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    fadedangelfadedangel Posts: 263 The Mix Regular
    I am officially done with life, done with everything and I won’t do it anymore. perhaps I deserve this, yeah I do because I’m just scum. I deserve to die. 

    Whats the point? 
    I just rot away in my depressed hole because I’m a scummy whale polluting the earth :(
    « I have been through hell but the best is yet to come « 
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    DancerDancer Community Champion Posts: 7,859 Master Poster
    Might have a fucking chest infection. And I`m supposed to be flying to Canary Islands in 5 days
    "There's a part of me I can't get back. A little girl grew up too fast. All it took was once. I'll never be the same." ~ Demi Lovato
    "The way that I have found the light in my life is through the expressive arts because I know that I will be accepted for the way I am." ~ Me
    "I'm going to get strong again and see you soon. " ~ Anonymous 
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    fadedangelfadedangel Posts: 263 The Mix Regular
    I can’t ever do anything right perhaps it is my time to drift away because who would care. No one :( 
    « I have been through hell but the best is yet to come « 
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0 Just got here
    Kasa2103 said:
    Might have a fucking chest infection. And I`m supposed to be flying to Canary Islands in 5 days
    Hey @Kasa2103 Get Mum to take you to your doctor to sound your chest. Seems like he may prescribe you a course of antibiotics. Seeing you'll be away in 5 days' time, you'll be feeling better from the antibiotics by the 3rd day I promise you, so chin up and be brave and I'll be praying for you.

    Mandy x
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,535 Skive's The Limit
    Thoughtsy said:
    I can’t ever do anything right perhaps it is my time to drift away because who would care. No one :( 

    I care x
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    fadedangelfadedangel Posts: 263 The Mix Regular
    Shaunie said:
    Thoughtsy said:
    I can’t ever do anything right perhaps it is my time to drift away because who would care. No one :( 

    I care x
    Thank you but I’m really done :( xx
    « I have been through hell but the best is yet to come « 
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    fadedangelfadedangel Posts: 263 The Mix Regular
    I didn’t realise my life could get any worse but I am now officially done with life and can’t do this anymore. I can’t be asked no more and I am so done with suffering, I won’t do it. I don’t see hope for me, I will never recover so what’s the point me living. I have lost everything, some of the most precious things to me are gone - all gone. I don’t deserve a life and I’m so done. This piece of scum that polluted the earth will now be left to rot away in her depressed hole where she should be. Life isn’t worth living. I am past having a worth on this earth :(  😭

    Well done Lauren, you have fucked up your life and you deserve whatever comes to you.  
    « I have been through hell but the best is yet to come « 
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