Best Of

My kooth worker is calling Emma ☹️ it’s going to be horrible and a complete disaster

For the record I’m safe

So tonight had a rough night and basically relapsed a lot and I know probably gonna ask why I didn’t talk to a helpline but I didn’t talk to one because there’s nothing to say to them, I hurt myself because I felt the need to punish myself and because I wanted to watch myself suffer

I have to see Emma tomorrow which I was scared about the last batch but now I’m scared about tonight’s, I know she will most likely ask fist aid to come and probably bandage me up but I feel like I’m just gonna break down crying to her…

If I see her tomorrow in the corridor or something I’m kinda hoping she doesn’t say anything to escape the embarrassment of having to tell her what I’ve done

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I want to work with children who have additional learning needs like ASD (autism spectrum disorder) and ADHD (attention deficit hyperactive disorder) I only know of them 2 so far mainly because I have them and I have family members with ASD or ADHD I’ve got work experience tomorrow and I am terrified there’s so many things in the way I could have a panic attack and its really hard talking to new people I don’t know I also don’t want them to have to witness me having a panic attack I don’t want to put them through that luckily it’s in a college and it’s the college I go to so some staff know a bit about me but the staff that are going to be there know nothing about me I can’t do it I just can’t I am never going to be able to get a job in childcare with the communication and panic attacks in the way
(also if your wondering why I am doing work experience in college when I want to work in childcare is because my tutor didn’t want to throw me in the deep end because he knew I wouldn’t cope)

🌟 being patient with yourself every day 🤍

🌟 being honest abt who you are and what you want 🤍

🌟letting go of those who don’t add value to your life 🤍

🌟 learning to be kind to yourself even when you dont feel like it 🤍

🌟 trusting your inner power to heal 🤍

🌟 understanding your own triggers 🤍

im so proud of everyone here at the mix and ill continue posting these positive messages bc I find them rly helpful and i hope you guys keep reminding yourself how important and loved you are. 🤍

I’ve been away for a little bit. I was kind of unwell at Christmas. Not like super unwell but just really tired and sooo thirsty all the time. I had the shakes and was just feeling a bit crap. It kept getting worse and worse and I was feeling brutal at the end of December .

Anyway, I got diagnosed with type 1 diabetes and I feels a bit better now im medicated but also it’s kinda stressful. I don’t really know much about it and im still learning how to manage it with my medication and im a pure baby when it’ll comes to needles😂. I hate serious stuff. I’m not a very serious person which you probably know lol.

Anyway I’m a little bit disappointed . It’s kind of stopped me from doing my exercises and stuff for now and that was something that I was enjoying. But on the plus side I was very bored in hospital so read a book. I enjoyed it so I might read more often now lol.

I think I’m trying to stay positive and just get on eith it but also I think I feel a bit sad. I don’t even know why. Maybe just that I have to live with this forever . I’m already having highs and lows and feeling weaker than I used to and that makes me feels a bit down.

Ah well life’s not all that bad. I am hoping for a more positive 2025 .