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Best Of
To anyone and everyone
To anyone who's been through sh*t alone, cried alone, held feelings in, felt alone... lost, to anyone who's hurting and all the above
To anyone who feels like they're doing all this alone and no one really understand what's they've been through, when words fail and pain sets in, when life feels too much in such a dark and lonely place
I Just want to say well done, you've gotten so far and some day you'll look back and be so proud of who you've become, keep going
Sending lots and lots of love
To anyone who feels like they're doing all this alone and no one really understand what's they've been through, when words fail and pain sets in, when life feels too much in such a dark and lonely place
I Just want to say well done, you've gotten so far and some day you'll look back and be so proud of who you've become, keep going
Sending lots and lots of love
Re: Time for another ranty thread
Piss off and leave me alone.
Can't you see how much harm you've already done?
Leave me alone ffs
How can someone annoy me on purpose, knowing how it affects me?
Can't you see how much harm you've already done?
Leave me alone ffs
How can someone annoy me on purpose, knowing how it affects me?
Re: The 'I need a hug' thread - please read first post before posting :)
Dreading when it comes to Christmas Dinner especially as my dad will refuse to eat with the family as per usual, my mum will get stressed and I'll get overwhelmed with the amount of food, panic and probably eat more than what I'm actually comfortable with and then feel like shit afterwards.
Dancer
5
Re: The 'I need a hug' thread - please read first post before posting :)
Pain is supposed to get worse as it heals. I am in so much pain right now. I can’t bend my arm
Shaunie
5
Re: Guilt over leaving abusive partner
Some amazing advice in this thread, and I would echo what everyone else has said. 
I want to add one thing - it's okay to love someone who is toxic, and it's okay to mourn a relationship even if it was abusive. You created memories and experiences with him, and maybe shared a deep connection (not sure if this applies). And it's okay to still feel something or miss him, even if you know without a doubt you made the right decision - which you did.
I say this because sometimes there can be a pressure - either from ourselves or other people - to move on and feel nothing for people that hurt you. But the reality can be quite different, and it's healthy to sit with your emotions, feel whatever you feel, and take time to grieve the breakup.
As others have said, you're clearly a strong person and nobody should have to go through what you went through. It takes a huge amount of courage to make this decision - well done.
I want to add one thing - it's okay to love someone who is toxic, and it's okay to mourn a relationship even if it was abusive. You created memories and experiences with him, and maybe shared a deep connection (not sure if this applies). And it's okay to still feel something or miss him, even if you know without a doubt you made the right decision - which you did.
I say this because sometimes there can be a pressure - either from ourselves or other people - to move on and feel nothing for people that hurt you. But the reality can be quite different, and it's healthy to sit with your emotions, feel whatever you feel, and take time to grieve the breakup.
As others have said, you're clearly a strong person and nobody should have to go through what you went through. It takes a huge amount of courage to make this decision - well done.
Mike
4
Re: Guilt over leaving abusive partner
Hey @cinderelle98, welcome to the boards, it’s lovely to have you here.
I’m so sorry to hear what you’ve been through, that must have been really traumatic for you. Know that we’re always here to listen and you’ve done amazingly reaching out about this today. That’s very brave.
You are not a bad person. You never will be, abuse is always the fault of the perpetrator, never the victim. You are the victim here and despite what some people may tell you, there is nothing that would make this your fault.
It’s understandable to feel upset when you see him so heartbroken, but many abusive people use this as a tactic to manipulate you and make you feel guilty. And that’s just as abusive as what he was doing while you were together. He’s threatening suicide etc to make you feel sorry for him and get back with him.
You are a strong woman, I can see that from your post. You’re right that you shouldn’t be together with him if he’s hurting you, so as hard as it is, it’s best to try to avoid him. By blocking him etc. There is support out there to help you to do that if you feel like he is harassing you or anything, or if you’re just finding it really difficult, the support services that @lovemimoon suggested are there and want to help you. You could also contact women’s aid, they don’t just provide safe houses, they can support you in other ways too.
Please take care and feel free to come back here anytime, we’re always here to listen and there’s loads of fun threads here if you just want a distraction or someone to talk to
I’m so sorry to hear what you’ve been through, that must have been really traumatic for you. Know that we’re always here to listen and you’ve done amazingly reaching out about this today. That’s very brave.
You are not a bad person. You never will be, abuse is always the fault of the perpetrator, never the victim. You are the victim here and despite what some people may tell you, there is nothing that would make this your fault.
It’s understandable to feel upset when you see him so heartbroken, but many abusive people use this as a tactic to manipulate you and make you feel guilty. And that’s just as abusive as what he was doing while you were together. He’s threatening suicide etc to make you feel sorry for him and get back with him.
You are a strong woman, I can see that from your post. You’re right that you shouldn’t be together with him if he’s hurting you, so as hard as it is, it’s best to try to avoid him. By blocking him etc. There is support out there to help you to do that if you feel like he is harassing you or anything, or if you’re just finding it really difficult, the support services that @lovemimoon suggested are there and want to help you. You could also contact women’s aid, they don’t just provide safe houses, they can support you in other ways too.
Please take care and feel free to come back here anytime, we’re always here to listen and there’s loads of fun threads here if you just want a distraction or someone to talk to
Re: Guilt over leaving abusive partner
Hey @cinderelle98
Thank you so much for sharing your experience with us!
I'm so sorry that your ex has put you such an emotional, mental and physical turmoil and I'm so happy you managed to get out of that relationship safe. Sending lots of love and big hugs
I've been in a similar situation with my ex and I broke things off. As much as I loved him, I knew that our relationship wasn't healthy at all. It took a massive toll on me mentally, and physically. I felt really guilty for breaking things off - to this day, I still feel like I betrayed him. However, at the end of the day, it was better this way. I reached out to my therapist about this and it helped a lot - I came to terms with what I did and learned to accept the decisions that I make, regardless of how difficult it was. There's only so much you can do before you start losing yourself.
It's difficult leaving a relationship, especially when the person you love has caused you so much pain. I apologize in advance if I come across harsh or blunt here but as much as he's in pain, it doesn't change the amount of damage he has done to you. If loving someone means sacrificing your own wellbeing for the sake of their happiness then it isn't worth it.
Take this time to reflect on yourself: why did you leave the relationship and what do you want out of a relationship. Remember that regardless of what happens, you did everything in your power to make sure that he was okay and, the decision you made was for the sake of both of you.
Give yourself the patience to heal, and you can always come to the Mix if you need a safe space to express yourself.
To end this, there are also services out there that can also help you. I'll leave a few links here:
Domestic Abuse Helplines
Goverment's Guidance On Domestic Abuse
NHS's Guidance on Domestic Abuse
I'm glad you've reached out to us here and I hope you are doing well.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience with us!
I'm so sorry that your ex has put you such an emotional, mental and physical turmoil and I'm so happy you managed to get out of that relationship safe.
Sending lots of love and big hugsI've been in a similar situation with my ex and I broke things off. As much as I loved him, I knew that our relationship wasn't healthy at all. It took a massive toll on me mentally, and physically. I felt really guilty for breaking things off - to this day, I still feel like I betrayed him. However, at the end of the day, it was better this way. I reached out to my therapist about this and it helped a lot - I came to terms with what I did and learned to accept the decisions that I make, regardless of how difficult it was. There's only so much you can do before you start losing yourself.
It's difficult leaving a relationship, especially when the person you love has caused you so much pain. I apologize in advance if I come across harsh or blunt here but as much as he's in pain, it doesn't change the amount of damage he has done to you. If loving someone means sacrificing your own wellbeing for the sake of their happiness then it isn't worth it.
Take this time to reflect on yourself: why did you leave the relationship and what do you want out of a relationship. Remember that regardless of what happens, you did everything in your power to make sure that he was okay and, the decision you made was for the sake of both of you.
Give yourself the patience to heal, and you can always come to the Mix if you need a safe space to express yourself.
To end this, there are also services out there that can also help you. I'll leave a few links here:
Domestic Abuse Helplines
Goverment's Guidance On Domestic Abuse
NHS's Guidance on Domestic Abuse
I'm glad you've reached out to us here and I hope you are doing well.
Re: The 'I need a hug' thread - please read first post before posting :)
Got my trauma triggered In a group with Beat online. But a mod checked up on me and made me feel so much better and seemed to genuinely care. There are good people.
Shaunie
6
Re: The 'I need a hug' thread - please read first post before posting :)
Being admitted to mental health ward
Shaunie
6
Letters
Hi guys it's almost the end of the year! It's crazy how one year can be filled with memories good and bad especially bad for me but we made it!
So this is a thread I got inspired from people who write letters to themselves and letters to their parents things like that it's just a nice idea I thought would be fun
So If I was writing a letter to myself In the future I'd say
Hi me!
You may not recognise me since I'm a past you and since you probably have left school by now you've forgotten about what happened on your second year of sixth form well and first technically but if you have congrats! I'm proud of you keep going! But if you haven't then just know that your not alone because I'm going through the same thing but don't hold it all in it's ok to cry I made the mistake of not crying and it built up and built up along with anger hate and a few other things and it all came out In one gigantic explosion so next time you feel it coming up let it don't hold it in otherwise you will tear yourself apart like I did but I promise things WILL get better given the chance if a chance like that does come up use that and take it you'll feel a whole lot better I promise ❤️
Also, how is college of you ended up in college? Friends? Best friends? Lovers? Enemies? Well I sure hope no enemies but considering how you got treated by people who didn't appreciate you just saw your flaws your deteriorations and weaknesses and took advantage of that do people still do that to you? How do you handle it? Let me give you one Piece of advice for the future although you have probably already learned that by the time you read this! You used to get bullied by people who didn't understand and because of how nice you were they used your kind nature to treat you like shit and that caused you to no longer trust people but you've grown now! I'm proud of you you've fought through hard times and are going through a hard time at the moment but your so much bigger than the world you have made for yourself you mean a lot to lots of people and I hope in the future whatever happens to me your not a loner your someone special even if you don't see it you are
What's the future like? Do you still have the friends you made at school? Do you talk to them? Do. They still matter to you? Have they helped you in anyway? I hope so their a great lot bonkers half the time but still good regardless how are you and your ex? Do you still miss it? Are things still seemingly awkward? Probably, because you were very broken afterwards are you still? Is it any easier? Are you two better friends now if you've gotten over it? I hope so she's a good person if not understandable it is hard I know it's hard but we're friends again so that's all that matters! 🙂
Anyway I'll write you again sometime hopefully!
Remember you matter
Love
Past you
Sorry I got a little carried away there but I'd just thought I'd start thread that could be useful I hope it makes your day just the slightest bit better ❤️
So this is a thread I got inspired from people who write letters to themselves and letters to their parents things like that it's just a nice idea I thought would be fun
So If I was writing a letter to myself In the future I'd say
Hi me!
You may not recognise me since I'm a past you and since you probably have left school by now you've forgotten about what happened on your second year of sixth form well and first technically but if you have congrats! I'm proud of you keep going! But if you haven't then just know that your not alone because I'm going through the same thing but don't hold it all in it's ok to cry I made the mistake of not crying and it built up and built up along with anger hate and a few other things and it all came out In one gigantic explosion so next time you feel it coming up let it don't hold it in otherwise you will tear yourself apart like I did but I promise things WILL get better given the chance if a chance like that does come up use that and take it you'll feel a whole lot better I promise ❤️
Also, how is college of you ended up in college? Friends? Best friends? Lovers? Enemies? Well I sure hope no enemies but considering how you got treated by people who didn't appreciate you just saw your flaws your deteriorations and weaknesses and took advantage of that do people still do that to you? How do you handle it? Let me give you one Piece of advice for the future although you have probably already learned that by the time you read this! You used to get bullied by people who didn't understand and because of how nice you were they used your kind nature to treat you like shit and that caused you to no longer trust people but you've grown now! I'm proud of you you've fought through hard times and are going through a hard time at the moment but your so much bigger than the world you have made for yourself you mean a lot to lots of people and I hope in the future whatever happens to me your not a loner your someone special even if you don't see it you are
What's the future like? Do you still have the friends you made at school? Do you talk to them? Do. They still matter to you? Have they helped you in anyway? I hope so their a great lot bonkers half the time but still good regardless how are you and your ex? Do you still miss it? Are things still seemingly awkward? Probably, because you were very broken afterwards are you still? Is it any easier? Are you two better friends now if you've gotten over it? I hope so she's a good person if not understandable it is hard I know it's hard but we're friends again so that's all that matters! 🙂
Anyway I'll write you again sometime hopefully!
Remember you matter
Love
Past you
Sorry I got a little carried away there but I'd just thought I'd start thread that could be useful I hope it makes your day just the slightest bit better ❤️
