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Best Of
my school day!
soo today i went to school for the first time in two weeks today. it wasn't as bad as i thought it would be, though i did get bullied a bit and had a math test, i saw some friends and had fun! i just got home like 30 mins ago and i decided to come on here and share how my day was! i also got some shark stickers from my friend (im so happy i love sharks) ^^ also i should have my autism diagnosis soon!!
thank you for reading! have a GREAT day!!!!!
thank you for reading! have a GREAT day!!!!!
so so done with life
im sorry to be annoying but i’m so fucking annoyed. i don’t understand what makes me so undeserving if support. what have i done that’s such an issue:(
i’m trying so so hard and getting nowhere. it’s like im screaming for help but no one hears. i genuinely don’t know what to do anymore. i’m so fucking tired of reaching out and not getting help. i am really struggling tonight so reached out to calm, they joined the chat and said “Hi there, thank you for reaching out. Unfortunately, as explained before with you CALM have changed and tightened their remit which means that we are not longer able to support you beyond this point. We are strictly suicide specific now for people needing immediate help and do not offer long term support. If you are looking for a chat this evening you can always head on over to samaritans.org or https://giveusashout.org/ . We wish you the very best. Take good care, CALM.” - i don’t know what to do now. i am not using shout as i dont need police coming. there is no other places that offer a webchat / messaging service open right now. i can’t phone as i struggle with communicating how i feel verbally.
i don’t understand the point in helplines when they refuse help. i was using calm for their purpose, and im still a problem. i really do give up forreal. there’s no point talking to college about it either as im just an issue there too. i hate myself. i hate life.
i’m safe rn.
i’m trying so so hard and getting nowhere. it’s like im screaming for help but no one hears. i genuinely don’t know what to do anymore. i’m so fucking tired of reaching out and not getting help. i am really struggling tonight so reached out to calm, they joined the chat and said “Hi there, thank you for reaching out. Unfortunately, as explained before with you CALM have changed and tightened their remit which means that we are not longer able to support you beyond this point. We are strictly suicide specific now for people needing immediate help and do not offer long term support. If you are looking for a chat this evening you can always head on over to samaritans.org or https://giveusashout.org/ . We wish you the very best. Take good care, CALM.” - i don’t know what to do now. i am not using shout as i dont need police coming. there is no other places that offer a webchat / messaging service open right now. i can’t phone as i struggle with communicating how i feel verbally.
i don’t understand the point in helplines when they refuse help. i was using calm for their purpose, and im still a problem. i really do give up forreal. there’s no point talking to college about it either as im just an issue there too. i hate myself. i hate life.
i’m safe rn.
introduction!
hi! I'm raven, i am demi-boy. demi boy is where someone is feels their gender identity partially identifies with a masculine identity but is not wholly male.
i like sharks, art, stickers, shiny things, mlp, music, mouthwashing (the game), Minecraft, animal crossing, Kandi, fluffy things, animals and my bed!
i get bullied a lot, which has affected my mental health in the past year or so. i haven't been feeling the best lately and i'm with the mental health program called 'cahms'. i struggle with self harm and my suicidal thoughts, i only have one friend and me and her don't talk much anyway. i wanted to come on here and speak how i feel and hopefully meet some kind people who i can relate to without being judged, i am normally very positive and silly but the past few days its been hard for me to stay happy.
when i'm not feeling the best i tend to get more aggressive and rude. i also randomly get suicide or self harm urges and i just cant deal with them most of the time.
anyways, thank you for reading, have a great day!
i like sharks, art, stickers, shiny things, mlp, music, mouthwashing (the game), Minecraft, animal crossing, Kandi, fluffy things, animals and my bed!
i get bullied a lot, which has affected my mental health in the past year or so. i haven't been feeling the best lately and i'm with the mental health program called 'cahms'. i struggle with self harm and my suicidal thoughts, i only have one friend and me and her don't talk much anyway. i wanted to come on here and speak how i feel and hopefully meet some kind people who i can relate to without being judged, i am normally very positive and silly but the past few days its been hard for me to stay happy.
when i'm not feeling the best i tend to get more aggressive and rude. i also randomly get suicide or self harm urges and i just cant deal with them most of the time.
anyways, thank you for reading, have a great day!
Why can't I let go of things that I did in the past - A small vent
You've probably seen me post this lots eventhough I rarely post on here as much now. In a way I guess I thought I was doing better than before and that I come so far with things, but there's always this tiny regret in my head I got and it will probably stay with me forever. Now I know that a lot of people will probably say what happens in the past happens in the past and yes that is technically true. But I can't help but ponder over my mistakes and everything I shouldent have done and sometimes I think if I didn't do this, then what could have happened next. I feel like I am doing better than I was before but I have this stupid anxious feeling and like the constant overthinking is getting to me again. Your probably wondering what mistakes I have made in the past to make me feel this way, so I will quickly sum up everything that happened in the past.
It all started in 2020, on my art course I did. Everything seem to be going well until I decided to fuck everything up for myself. So I wanted to do Inktober and my friend said i could but said that the creator of the event actually plagarized another artist/author in the past and I felt bad that I supported a bad person. This then created a spiral of me feeling bad and then I realised that I used to copy a lot of drawings to learn. Geniunely people will think well thats how you learn, but im meant to be drawing from my imagination. I felt like a fake sometimes. It got to the point where I would have to self reference every single drawing I did to feel better. In my animation class I was supposed to be drawing from my imagination with a given prompt, but it was a location I didn't know of and I decided to google the prompt. I wished I told my teacher that I googled the prompt because I was stuck but I didnt, told my parents and they said not to either. I even in illustration class, copied an artist's caricature of sherlock holmes/benedict cumberbatch drawing and I told my tutor I think (cant remember because it was a while ago) about it and he said it was ok to do. I had to use references all the time and I felt so bloody fake I hated it. Even worse I had to re-do my maths. In maths, I had to do this paper but I thought the deadline was the next day so I panicked and googled all of the answers on a youtube video and put them on the test so technically I felt like I cheated because my mum was there and she helped me. Also because it was during covid too on my course I had to do one of my maths tests at home and I panicked because my mind went blank and I had to have my mum sit with me in the test at home to make me feel better. I decided because I felt like I cheated in both my art and maths I told my tutors eventhough they said everything was ok. I even said to my tutor about watching the maths video to get the answers for one of the papers and she said that the paper wasnt going to be marked towards my final grade and that if I was stuck in the maths test she would have helped me a bit as well or helped to read the questions. Im just such a fucking fake person all the time and I hate it. Excuse my way of writing this all down its just I dont like who I am. I know I have come so far and even managed to do a bbc traineeship after deciding that I wanted to do creative media after my art course. But sometimes I cant help but feel like im a bad person. Its worse because I used to do art all the time and I got a small sketchbook to start drawing again but my brain cant drawn anymore because of what I did. Also, I used to write too but I rarely write anymore. I have used AI in the past and recently went on AI dungeon to play a game but I feel bad in using AI because of the environmental factors I found out recently about. I think maybe all these thoughts have come from because I am currently unemployed at the moment and I haven't got much to do well I should be reading more books and I got my crochet/knitting but still everything seems boring lately. Apologies for this silly rant of mine.
It all started in 2020, on my art course I did. Everything seem to be going well until I decided to fuck everything up for myself. So I wanted to do Inktober and my friend said i could but said that the creator of the event actually plagarized another artist/author in the past and I felt bad that I supported a bad person. This then created a spiral of me feeling bad and then I realised that I used to copy a lot of drawings to learn. Geniunely people will think well thats how you learn, but im meant to be drawing from my imagination. I felt like a fake sometimes. It got to the point where I would have to self reference every single drawing I did to feel better. In my animation class I was supposed to be drawing from my imagination with a given prompt, but it was a location I didn't know of and I decided to google the prompt. I wished I told my teacher that I googled the prompt because I was stuck but I didnt, told my parents and they said not to either. I even in illustration class, copied an artist's caricature of sherlock holmes/benedict cumberbatch drawing and I told my tutor I think (cant remember because it was a while ago) about it and he said it was ok to do. I had to use references all the time and I felt so bloody fake I hated it. Even worse I had to re-do my maths. In maths, I had to do this paper but I thought the deadline was the next day so I panicked and googled all of the answers on a youtube video and put them on the test so technically I felt like I cheated because my mum was there and she helped me. Also because it was during covid too on my course I had to do one of my maths tests at home and I panicked because my mind went blank and I had to have my mum sit with me in the test at home to make me feel better. I decided because I felt like I cheated in both my art and maths I told my tutors eventhough they said everything was ok. I even said to my tutor about watching the maths video to get the answers for one of the papers and she said that the paper wasnt going to be marked towards my final grade and that if I was stuck in the maths test she would have helped me a bit as well or helped to read the questions. Im just such a fucking fake person all the time and I hate it. Excuse my way of writing this all down its just I dont like who I am. I know I have come so far and even managed to do a bbc traineeship after deciding that I wanted to do creative media after my art course. But sometimes I cant help but feel like im a bad person. Its worse because I used to do art all the time and I got a small sketchbook to start drawing again but my brain cant drawn anymore because of what I did. Also, I used to write too but I rarely write anymore. I have used AI in the past and recently went on AI dungeon to play a game but I feel bad in using AI because of the environmental factors I found out recently about. I think maybe all these thoughts have come from because I am currently unemployed at the moment and I haven't got much to do well I should be reading more books and I got my crochet/knitting but still everything seems boring lately. Apologies for this silly rant of mine.
Amy22
7
A Young Robin - Observation for today
Hi hope you are all doing okay and are well 
I know this isn't much of a creative post to be honest. Really, it isn't, its more of like an observation of what I saw today, rather this evening.
Tonight, I decided to have a go learning how to play the song 'Lithium' by the band Nirvana on my acoustic/classical guitar. I went online to find the chords/tabs to play. I managed to play the song and I was very pleased. Therefore, I decided to take it to the next step and play with the backing track. I had a little bit of difficulty in doing so as I was playing along to a backing track on Youtube. However, I also decided to do some karaoke for a bit too, I will admit I'm not the best singer when it comes to singing, but I did enjoy it. After this, I wanted to try out the song without the backing track and with just me playing (and a little bit of singing of course
). As I was playing, a bird appeared on our lento/conservatory roof and he looked straight at me. He seemed to fly around our fence for a bit while I played. For some reason, seeing this bird motivated me as I have never seen a bird so close before whilst playing my guitar. It was like I was performing and he was a sort of audience in a way . The bird made me smile today. I wonder if the bird had a particular interest in Nirvana or maybe could have been a reincarnation of the well known singer Kurt Cobain. I then realised that it was a young robin that was listening to me playing. This bird brought me a sense of joy and motivation I haven't felt in a while. I also told my parents and they were amazed too.
I thought I might share this nice story with you all, as I thought it might bring some joy to someone possibly.
Signing off for another time,
Amy22
I know this isn't much of a creative post to be honest. Really, it isn't, its more of like an observation of what I saw today, rather this evening.Tonight, I decided to have a go learning how to play the song 'Lithium' by the band Nirvana on my acoustic/classical guitar. I went online to find the chords/tabs to play. I managed to play the song and I was very pleased. Therefore, I decided to take it to the next step and play with the backing track. I had a little bit of difficulty in doing so as I was playing along to a backing track on Youtube. However, I also decided to do some karaoke for a bit too, I will admit I'm not the best singer when it comes to singing, but I did enjoy it. After this, I wanted to try out the song without the backing track and with just me playing (and a little bit of singing of course
). As I was playing, a bird appeared on our lento/conservatory roof and he looked straight at me. He seemed to fly around our fence for a bit while I played. For some reason, seeing this bird motivated me as I have never seen a bird so close before whilst playing my guitar. It was like I was performing and he was a sort of audience in a way . The bird made me smile today. I wonder if the bird had a particular interest in Nirvana or maybe could have been a reincarnation of the well known singer Kurt Cobain. I then realised that it was a young robin that was listening to me playing. This bird brought me a sense of joy and motivation I haven't felt in a while. I also told my parents and they were amazed too.I thought I might share this nice story with you all, as I thought it might bring some joy to someone possibly.
Signing off for another time,
Amy22
Amy22
5
Re: your doing your best 💓
simple reminders
- its okay to change your mind
- healing isnt always linear
- we all struggle sometimes
- there is no failure; only learning
- sometimes a wrong turn will take you in the right direction
- its okay to change your mind
- healing isnt always linear
- we all struggle sometimes
- there is no failure; only learning
- sometimes a wrong turn will take you in the right direction
eylah
5
Apology to TheMix and community
Right as most of you have seen from my last post @TheMix had to make the hard decision to call 101 and report the experience I went through with a police officer saying “I deserve a beating” for my behaviour at that time I was doing really bad mentally and no the police officer had no right to say that to me or to anyone especially when they are in crisis but it was 4 years ago and I was really upset TheMix had made the decision to contact 101 non emergency services I have been doing really well recently I haven’t been doing well mentally or physically but when I say I’ve been doing really well I have been doing really well I haven’t had the police involved with me for 2 years and I was upset that had to be ruined over something that happened 4 years ago (I might not have to get involved I don’t know what’s going on yet) but I haven’t been doing well at all for the last couple months but instead of going into what I call a breakdown I shut down and go into what I call survival mode and I will be lying if I said TheMix community hasn’t helped me I’ve talked to some really lovely people and TheMix has been helping with my journey of Endometriosis I take back what I said yesterday the community have helped me even by just saying they are there I am so sorry to @TheMix and the community @TheMix has loads of lovely people🫶🏻
Hi
Hi everyone I’m new here and my name is beth, im 23 years old and I’ve joined this community cause I’ve been struggling with anxiety recently. I like watching anime, video gaming and listening to music and like cats and dogs
Beth
8
Re: Surfing!!
Wow it really had been ages since I had got out. But I got out for a sunset surf tonight 🏄♀️🌅 and it was amazing. I took it easy as I technically shouldn't have been out as I've got a sprained wrist but I just couldn't resist! I started off at one beach but it wasn't very sheltered so after about 3 good waves I decided to hop out and have a hot chocolate as I just knew it wasn't the best place for me to be in the water so after I decided to head across to the more sheltered beach which was much nicer! I caught some amazing waves and had a little chat with some fellow surfers while we were waiting for the waves and it just felt so freeing 🩷 I didn't push myself too hard but it was just so nice to get out again. This year I really wanna try knuckle down and get way better!
Chloe234
5
Re: Community Check-In 💛
i rly appreciate this especially bc when you guys contacted the police on me abt when a officer was talking to me. it made me rly uncomfortable bc i hate police but i appreciate this post.
eylah
5