Best Of

This is my first time posting on here so sorry if I do something wrong but I need to vent about something that happened an hour or two ago that I'm pretty damn pissed at. So I got a call from my Mum telling me that she told my course director that she doesn't want me to do a position at the asda cafe (For context, I am doing a Supported Internship and someone on the course suggested I do a position at the asfa cafe because I have a qualification catering and because it will be very easy for them to get a postion there for me.) The reason my mum didn't want me doing that position was because I was primarily just going to be doing dishwasher and I will admit, I'm not exactly happy about it either as i would of liked to be more involved, but i would of been fine with it if it was only to get me used to working there and getting adjusted and i would be doing more in the coming weeks. The thing I'm am pissed about though, is that she told my course director to not bother getting me a position at Asda. The reason why I am so fucking pissed about this though is because it took a good few weeks to set all this up and I should primarily have an internship by the end of the half term and now I very well could have to start searching somewhere else. I was also pretty pissed of when she decided to call me as well, she decided to call me while I was talking to a therapist about controlling my emotions, something that I already find pretty stressful now just got even more stressful for me as I was pretty agitated for the rest of the session. (The session it self was finr though, i got to vent a bit to my therapist about it.) Lastly, I was not informed by by the college about any of this as I would of liked to give my own opinion and ask if something can be done to be more involved or if there is another position somewhere else I could take instead. Right now, I'm going emil someone in the course and see if anything can be done. And that's it. This was longer than I expected.

Right now, I would love nothing more that to just curl up into a ball and just die. But I can't do that because I need to take my dog on a walk before it gets too dark.

I’m trying to find an app to prevent panic attacks, and every time i download an app, it tells me that I have to pay a bunch of money in order to go through the app

I've decided I'm just going to have to resort to numbness and disassociation to get by at the moment. And not having here for a week does worry me. But it is what it is... and this is post number 9999 so I'm off to the GC thread to make the 10,000th before I go lol

I’ve had some family issues today and decided I’m not going back there again. I’ve been struggling all week and trying for so long, applying for jobs through Indeed and other sites, but my efforts keep being ignored. I’ve had people going at me for a while, but today it got extremely intense as they kept saying they would help me, but when I said I could do it myself, they doubted me and basically said I’d be jobless all my life, which has always been my biggest fear in all of this, and being told that has given me horrible thoughts.

From the moment I got there, I felt like I was being slated constantly, and there was back and forth where they wouldn’t let me do things myself and kept saying I would fail, so eventually I just had enough and left, ignoring them telling me to stay. On the way back in the car, I was shaking from everything that had happened. I’ve just been healing, and it feels like a regular thing where I start to emotionally recover from something tough, then get hit with more hurtful comments. It takes a lot to upset me like that, but I’ve been struggling for a while, feeling low and unheard. After today, I just thought I’m not putting up with it anymore, I’m tired of being criticised when I’m genuinely trying.

Nathan wrote: »

eylah wrote: »

so much shit has happened. hard to deal with. tmr got a statment with police gonna be so hard doing it alone . but i guess i got ‘this’ .

@eylah I'm so so sorry you're facing everything that you are, and that right now, you're facing it alone. I know we're only online, but if you ever want to talk about it, if you ever need support, or just a general chit chat, we're all here for you. You don't have to be alone through this. Nobody as nice and kind hearted as you are should have to go through this sort of hell.

thankyou so much. i was drunk n shit happened but police are being very kind n supporting me through this. so im thankful for them. n the support they referred me to.

so much shit has happened. hard to deal with. tmr got a statment with police gonna be so hard doing it alone . but i guess i got ‘this’ .

So lately I’ve been having these same dreams every night about finding my brothers dead and finding out they had children that they had kept a secret, at first I thought it was nothing but now I’m starting to get really freaked out 😭 are dreams in my control or smth or is something wrong 😭