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Yes, I managed to.

Invisible_me wrote: »

@TheNightmare how did it go?

@Invisible_me I was dreading going to it on the morning and obviously last night too but it went a bit better better than last week, I did a different task than what I usually did too and they seemed more positive. Thanks so much for asking hope you're keeping good ❤️

bignosegirly0 wrote: »

@eylah hello, I am doing alright, thank you. I havent harmed myself, which is good.

But my next challenges is to deal with future episodes where I either feel extremely low and unlovable, or extremely bitter and irritable. Sometimes, these episodes don’t have a trigger and start as soon as I wake up. I’m hoping to do more research on how to cope.

if your ever struggling you can always make a post on here and ill support you. bc your never alone and your so cared abt .

ill also check in with you throughout the day if you need anything just tag me.

@Laura_tigger82 luckily, I passed 🎉

I’m genuinely proud of myself and I’m looking forward to taking practical tests.

@Matthew_04 Unfortunely, I’m still feeling rock bottom. But I’m trying to make myself feel better by reminding myself that my family and I are going to one of my favourite places on the weekend. So atleast it’s something nice to look forward to 🫶

So a positive update (i guess) well part of it was positive

So i had the courage to phone CMHT to find out about this miss call I had !!

Tbh they were a bit confused why I was phoning but I ended up having a call back. I found out my GP had emailed them to ask for more support/advice as well as that i need to be cleared for camp America. So the person I spoke to has said he can sign me off for camp America !!

With this he's discharged me from the general mental health team - not sure what this means honestly. But if I struggle I can phone them or talk to my GP to gain support (probably won't be doing this though 😒).

I also asked about my referral to CEDT and that's still being processed 😔 - im hoping I will get something soon though preferably before I go to America coz I know if I don't get anything before hand the wait will be even longer to get support as I won't be able to have it in America 😩.

My old therapist made notes that basically say I'm fine too - as he mentioned ive been promoted at work and that's basically keeping me safe. Despite me telling him last week that it's not really enough to keep me safe and with how things are im basically hitting crisis regularly but don't feel I deserve to get help from others. He keeps telling me to phone their crisis line and keeps trying to send me the numbers to use even though I have them, i just don't feel able to reach out 😩.
I'm also suppose to have a call with him this Wednesday and I dont want to anymore - im just going to say I'm fine and nothings happened. Hopefully then the call be short and he won't phone me again.
Then i just need to make sure that the ED health nurse doesn't get concerned for me and talks to the MH team/my therapist again 😒. Ill just tell little white lies and say I'm fine and that my SH and SI have stopped and then just need to ensure I don't have to keep going back for physical health tests.

At this point I'm tempted to just phone CMHT back and be like "discharge me, I'm fine and dont need your services anymore. I'm just wasting your time and resources, so just forget about me" .

This will be the easiest option for everyone right now- im basically a revolving door patient 😞

What is the actual point anymore 😕
I'm exhausted trying to fight for myself anymore
I wish no one ever found out about anything. Why did everyone have to interfer i was Fine!

We are super proud of you for still being here with us @bignosegirly0. Keep putting one foot in front of the other

We can also hear how you have been feeling panicked though Would you like to talk to us more about the specifics of what is causing you to feel panicked? We care about you