If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. For Crisis Support (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Check out our JD Support Chats every Monday 8pm-9:30pm in partnership with the JD Foundation. They're focused around all things work, retail, fashion, sport and more.
Click here for more info!
Click here for more info!
Best Of
💜🖤🤍 All about Asexuality 💜🖤🤍
So I'd thought I would do a thread/post on all things asexual related or asexuali-tea 🍵 as I say.
So for those who may or may not know me, over the coming years and months I often felt like I might be ace though there have been times where I felt potentially pan/bi. So I thought I would do an asexual 101 post for those who may or may not know about this.
So what is asexuality?
Asexuality the home of dragons, space, garlic bread (*insert that ace meme from the internet).
So asexuality (not to be confused with celibacy) is when you feel little to no romantic attraction to someone. So for instance person A sees a person in the street/friend etc and feels romantic attraction to them where person B may not feel any attraction to them at all. However there are different spectrums of the acespectrum!. (Some of the other specs I am still learning about so if I missed anything out please let me know)
These include:
- Asexual (feels little to zero romantic attraction)
-
- Aromantic (Sinilar to acesexual but does feels
-attraction to a certain degree)
- Demi-sexual (Feels romantic attraction only when they form a deep bond or connection to someone)
- Grey sexual (which I believe is quite similar to asexual)
So can asexuals have relationships?
Of course they definitely can!. However the relationship may look quite different to a generic relationship. For example while some people in relationships enjoy physical intimacy/romantic gestures an asexual may not, though some still do and can enjoy this. Its important to remember eventhough it may seem like asexuals may not like intimacy they still and can have intimacy in their relationships whether this is for connection or for joy. Asexuality is a broad spectrum and can vary to person to person and their preferences when it comes to relationships and romance.
How I best explain this is the analogy of cake. Some people may like cake and love eating it, whereas some can appreciate cake but may not feel like having it on that day to not eating cake at all.
What advice would you give to someone who is dating someone on the ace spectrum?
I would always ask the person what they are comfortable with and what boundaries need to be established in the relationship. For example is this relationship a platonic one or a more intimate one? Overall, in the relationship you should be able to communicate both of your needs and boundaries. Never pressure them to do anything they may not feel comfortable with and if possible respect their choice.
Overall, I think I may have wrote up the basics of all things asexuality but if I have missed anything out feel free to mention as I am open to learning and expanding my knowledge.
Here's a quick recap of asexuality 101:
- Asexualtity is a big broad spectrum
- Some may feel little romantic attraction where others may feel it
- Being asexual doesnt mean we are celibate
- Asexuals can have relationships, have intimacy and physical romance too
- if dating an acespec person always discuss what they feel best in the relationship and what they feel comfortable with
(Had to edit this as I made some spelling errors and didn't want to confuse anyone)
So for those who may or may not know me, over the coming years and months I often felt like I might be ace though there have been times where I felt potentially pan/bi. So I thought I would do an asexual 101 post for those who may or may not know about this.
So what is asexuality?
Asexuality the home of dragons, space, garlic bread (*insert that ace meme from the internet).
So asexuality (not to be confused with celibacy) is when you feel little to no romantic attraction to someone. So for instance person A sees a person in the street/friend etc and feels romantic attraction to them where person B may not feel any attraction to them at all. However there are different spectrums of the acespectrum!. (Some of the other specs I am still learning about so if I missed anything out please let me know)
These include:
- Asexual (feels little to zero romantic attraction)
-
- Aromantic (Sinilar to acesexual but does feels
-attraction to a certain degree)
- Demi-sexual (Feels romantic attraction only when they form a deep bond or connection to someone)
- Grey sexual (which I believe is quite similar to asexual)
So can asexuals have relationships?
Of course they definitely can!. However the relationship may look quite different to a generic relationship. For example while some people in relationships enjoy physical intimacy/romantic gestures an asexual may not, though some still do and can enjoy this. Its important to remember eventhough it may seem like asexuals may not like intimacy they still and can have intimacy in their relationships whether this is for connection or for joy. Asexuality is a broad spectrum and can vary to person to person and their preferences when it comes to relationships and romance.
How I best explain this is the analogy of cake. Some people may like cake and love eating it, whereas some can appreciate cake but may not feel like having it on that day to not eating cake at all.
What advice would you give to someone who is dating someone on the ace spectrum?
I would always ask the person what they are comfortable with and what boundaries need to be established in the relationship. For example is this relationship a platonic one or a more intimate one? Overall, in the relationship you should be able to communicate both of your needs and boundaries. Never pressure them to do anything they may not feel comfortable with and if possible respect their choice.
Overall, I think I may have wrote up the basics of all things asexuality but if I have missed anything out feel free to mention as I am open to learning and expanding my knowledge.
Here's a quick recap of asexuality 101:
- Asexualtity is a big broad spectrum
- Some may feel little romantic attraction where others may feel it
- Being asexual doesnt mean we are celibate
- Asexuals can have relationships, have intimacy and physical romance too
- if dating an acespec person always discuss what they feel best in the relationship and what they feel comfortable with
(Had to edit this as I made some spelling errors and didn't want to confuse anyone)
Amy22
3
Re: 💜🖤🤍 All about Asexuality 💜🖤🤍
AnonymousToe wrote: »I thought
Asexual - feels little to no sexual attraction
Aromatic - feels little to no romantic attraction
I don’t really know what sexual or romantic attraction are though or what the difference is because I don’t feel either 😂
Ah right no worries my apologies I'm still learning about this. I think your right though, asexual means feel little to no sexual attraction and aromatic is little to no romantic attraction.m
Aw no worries same here too I'm still trying to figure that out myself as well because I often feel like that myself. I think romantic attraction is when you really like a person and that could be aesthetically or romantically, I guess its like having a crush on a person. I think the sexual attraction one is is when you feel no sexual attraction so for example you may not want to have an intimate relationship that includes sex.
I'm still learning about this too and I wanted to post about it because I'm still exploring my identity and want to help others too I guess.
Amy22
1
Apprenticeships with Swift Childcare - Podcast Episode
What if you don't want to go to university? What other options are out there?
Almost 750,000 young people choose to do an apprenticeship after school rather than taking the university route. In our latest podcast episode, we're joined by young apprentices from Swift Childcare to talk abut all the essential questions a young person might have when deciding what to do next.
So if you're unsure what to do after you've left school, take a listen to our latest podcast episode by clicking here and you might get some ideas!
Almost 750,000 young people choose to do an apprenticeship after school rather than taking the university route. In our latest podcast episode, we're joined by young apprentices from Swift Childcare to talk abut all the essential questions a young person might have when deciding what to do next.
So if you're unsure what to do after you've left school, take a listen to our latest podcast episode by clicking here and you might get some ideas!
Katie
2
Letting go... (plate smash)
Has anyone seen the trend on tiktok where on a plate you write down things you want to let go of and then you smash the plate?
Well ive been thinking about doing it, so I bought me and my boyfriend a plate each and some sharpies to do it. We have yet to make time to do this together. Although im not sure what id put on it if I do it with him
In the mean time ive done it with a box photo frame. My idea is that ill write in the glass what I want to let go of, but then cover it in clear vinyl so when I smash it I can keep the glass and hopefully put it back in the frame. Alongside this im wanting to create a slot in the frame that I can post little addional things to let go of. Then when im ready or the frame is full I can smash it and read what im letting go of but also have a token of me letting go.
My only issue is I dont want my family to see it especially my sisters so im stuck in how I can do it.
The "letting go plate smash" is a practice where individuals write down things they want to release (like negative emotions, past hurts, or anxieties) on a plate, and then physically break the plate to symbolize letting go of those things. It's a symbolic act rooted in the idea of emotional release and new beginnings, often used as a form of stress relief or as a way to mark a fresh start.
Well ive been thinking about doing it, so I bought me and my boyfriend a plate each and some sharpies to do it. We have yet to make time to do this together. Although im not sure what id put on it if I do it with him
In the mean time ive done it with a box photo frame. My idea is that ill write in the glass what I want to let go of, but then cover it in clear vinyl so when I smash it I can keep the glass and hopefully put it back in the frame. Alongside this im wanting to create a slot in the frame that I can post little addional things to let go of. Then when im ready or the frame is full I can smash it and read what im letting go of but also have a token of me letting go.
My only issue is I dont want my family to see it especially my sisters so im stuck in how I can do it.
Re: Beyond Devastated
@slugchannel
The stuff people say about neopronouns actually suprised me in the beginning, because the first way I learnt about the lgbt+ community was by reading a book where one of the characters was non-binary and used neopronouns to identify. This was a published, and well written book, called Adam-2 by Alastair Chisholm, with a lot of hidden depths, subtle references to what we go through as people, not just those in this community, and many deep dives into the psychology of a dying world and it's people. So hearing how at least half the community feels about neopronouns...I don't really disagree, or agree. Yeah, some of them are de-humanizing and degredating, but some are genuinely harmless and are just slightly newer to everyone so are greeted with hostility and suspicion because the community and what we stand for have been abused and ridiculed for so long.
And to be honest the kind of stuff people say about neopronouns in the community makes me feel a bit ill. Because while yeah, being 'cat-gender' or 'meow-gender' sounds ridiculous, I used to say I was a cat whenever someone called me by my pronouns. Granted, that could've been the undiagnosed ADHD/ASD, but put it into context with what the cat in Corraline said, and you start to wonder whether some of the people who use these terms are actually just unaware of what the term specifies in a dictionary, or online. Maybe some people resonate with not needing a set of pronouns, and instead want to focus on actually existing. But they don't realise that the terms are de-humanising to the lgbtq+ community. Maybe they just need to be re-defined by people who aren't homophobic haters, and who actually feel like they should be able to exist the way the cat in Corraline said cats do? Because when I first saw the term 'cat-gender' that was what sprang to mind.
However I am new to neopronouns and their symbolism, so if anyone can explain to my naive self what I'm missing and maybe help me out with the history of neopronouns, that would be much appreciated. I'm really, really sorry if I have offended anyone, and I swear I'm just genuinely curious
The stuff people say about neopronouns actually suprised me in the beginning, because the first way I learnt about the lgbt+ community was by reading a book where one of the characters was non-binary and used neopronouns to identify. This was a published, and well written book, called Adam-2 by Alastair Chisholm, with a lot of hidden depths, subtle references to what we go through as people, not just those in this community, and many deep dives into the psychology of a dying world and it's people. So hearing how at least half the community feels about neopronouns...I don't really disagree, or agree. Yeah, some of them are de-humanizing and degredating, but some are genuinely harmless and are just slightly newer to everyone so are greeted with hostility and suspicion because the community and what we stand for have been abused and ridiculed for so long.
And to be honest the kind of stuff people say about neopronouns in the community makes me feel a bit ill. Because while yeah, being 'cat-gender' or 'meow-gender' sounds ridiculous, I used to say I was a cat whenever someone called me by my pronouns. Granted, that could've been the undiagnosed ADHD/ASD, but put it into context with what the cat in Corraline said, and you start to wonder whether some of the people who use these terms are actually just unaware of what the term specifies in a dictionary, or online. Maybe some people resonate with not needing a set of pronouns, and instead want to focus on actually existing. But they don't realise that the terms are de-humanising to the lgbtq+ community. Maybe they just need to be re-defined by people who aren't homophobic haters, and who actually feel like they should be able to exist the way the cat in Corraline said cats do? Because when I first saw the term 'cat-gender' that was what sprang to mind.
However I am new to neopronouns and their symbolism, so if anyone can explain to my naive self what I'm missing and maybe help me out with the history of neopronouns, that would be much appreciated. I'm really, really sorry if I have offended anyone, and I swear I'm just genuinely curious
Re: Age Verification - Upcoming Change
Hey @independent_ and @eylah Thank you for the questions, I have just asked to get some answers
As it stands we are looking to implement the age verification in the much latter part of the year, but this is all dependent on the capacity of our tech teams so it might be later than that
In terms of needing ID, you wouldn't be kicked out if you didn't have ID! As Elle said, you can take a picture if you do not have ID
We will be using Yoti for this age verification and you can see their page here and it will hopefully answer some questions you may have. They list a lot of ways you can verify your age, but the options I am sure have been discussed thus far are uploading a picture of your ID or using a picture taken using Yoti's system
These are our plans as it stands, but things could change as we continue to take advice on the best and most suitable ways of implementing age verification - this is very new so new things are coming out about it every day!
As it stands we are looking to implement the age verification in the much latter part of the year, but this is all dependent on the capacity of our tech teams so it might be later than that
In terms of needing ID, you wouldn't be kicked out if you didn't have ID! As Elle said, you can take a picture if you do not have ID
We will be using Yoti for this age verification and you can see their page here and it will hopefully answer some questions you may have. They list a lot of ways you can verify your age, but the options I am sure have been discussed thus far are uploading a picture of your ID or using a picture taken using Yoti's system
These are our plans as it stands, but things could change as we continue to take advice on the best and most suitable ways of implementing age verification - this is very new so new things are coming out about it every day!
Leyla
1
Re: Age Verification - Upcoming Change
@eylah I’ve just done it twice in a row with just a selfie, no ID required for that, but like I say, no idea how it’ll actually work in practice for here.
Free Open University Courses
Did you know that the Open University here in the UK offers hundreds of free online courses you can do across a wide range of topics from psychology to finance, business to rocket-science!
- For example, there is a course here designed specifically for young people all about managing your money.
- Here is a course all about different approaches to psychology around the world.
- And here is a course all about how to get into the video game industry!
Anything you're fascinated about or would like to gain some further skills in, you can enroll on free self-led online courses here: https://www.open.edu/openlearn/free-courses/full-catalogue.
In order to create an account you must be aged 13 years or over.
You can see their full FAQs here: https://www.open.edu/openlearn/about-openlearn/frequently-asked-questions-on-openlearn
Have you ever done an online short-course?
What topics would you be most interested in learning?
Sian321
5
Re: Weekend Riddles and Puzzles Corner!
- False – The summer solstice usually occurs on June 20, 21, or 22, but not always the same date every year due to the Earth's orbit and leap years.
- True – The "dog days of summer" refer to a hot and humid period, typically in July and August, associated with extreme heat.
- False – Sunflowers do track the sun (heliotropism) only while they are young. Mature sunflowers generally face east and stop moving with the sun.
- False – The Perseid meteor shower is best viewed in August, with its peak usually around August 11–13.
Re: Anybody want to vent or chat about anything? w/c 21.07.25
That sounds really tiring, @Redemption , especially when it happens multiple nights a week. Struggling to fall asleep can leave us feeling really powerless sometimes.
There's some further support here on SHOUT's page if useful: https://giveusashout.org/get-help/issues/sleep/
There's some further support here on SHOUT's page if useful: https://giveusashout.org/get-help/issues/sleep/
Sian321
1