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eylah wrote: »

Lili5Bet wrote: »

eylah wrote: »

tw sexual assault. rly triggering so pls don’t read if the subject sexual assault is triggering for you.

my friend did a welfare check on me yesterday and police came round today to check in on me. they were so lovely and kind they rly listened to me and said they care abt me and want the best for me. they’re annoyed at cmht for discharging me and they said i can open up to them so i did. i spoke to them abt something that happened to me abt a month ago and i told the officers everything. they seemed to rly care abt me and my feelings. but tmr i have to speak to a solo officer abt the next steps and im rly anxious abt it bc i dont have anyone who can support me afterwards. this is a huge thing for me and im just needing a hug and support. i might reach out to rape crisis and talk to them abt tmr and how scared i am but im just rly anxious. im just so scared but so happy bc ppl are listening to me and taking my mind of worries away from me. it’s just shit rly.

Hey lovely @eylah ,

Firstly, a big hug and so much care from me 🫂🫂. You’ve done a really brave thing opening up, it’s not easy, especially with that sort of topic.

I have been through SA and the police side of things, so I completely understand how you feel. It’s completely natural to feel scared but I promise you, it’ll be ok. You got this!
You mentioned about the support side of things. In my area we have a team of ISVA’s/CHISVA’s. I can’t say the company name as it’ll give away my county.

An ISVA is an Independent Sexual Violence Advisor. They can help support you, especially with the police side of things and provide any resources relating to your needs. I have a CHISVA (same thing but for young people up to 18). I’d advise you to talk to your solo officer about getting this sort of support if this is something you wish to have, or you can look online to find your local team by searching The Survivors trust, finding an ISVA. This will be kept confidential, no one has to know you’ve spoken to an ISVA/IDVA. I got referred by a nurse during the time I was in hospital as some hospitals have teams of people who do this, I had an IDVA (Independent Domestic Violence Advisor) first then passed onto a CHISVA. They also do have a helpline and you may be able to get access to their service that way.

I hope this helps!! Sending hugs your way🫂

oh thankyou @Lili5Bet in my area we have solo officers so idk if they’re the same or not? but i’ve been told im gonna be talking to one of them but tmr im talking to a detective in my case. im so sry you have experienced something like this. do you know if they have a web chat or email service? sry to ask so many questions. appreciate your support

I’m not sure what Solo Officers are tbh! They most likely are different. Bless you, thank you Eylah! It’s a tough thing to go through for sure, I’m having to fight my case with victims rights to review now after they shut my case 😢. Don’t apologise, you’re all good!

I can’t find their email. They have a helpline and they’d be able to advise you. It’s 0808 801 0818. Their actual website when you go on it has a locator in there, you put your postcode in there. You should have one near you. Once you confirm your postcode, it will give you the details of your nearest abuse service. Their website is thesurvivorstrust.org 😊.

Anytime, Eylah!! No need to apologise. You’re all good! Sending you hugs

Hey @eylah , how are you doing? We're all thinking of you here on Community, and we'll be here for the Support Chat too at 1:30 if you did wish to pop along.

What time is the appointment today?

I hear how nervous you're feeling, and that's so, so valid. What would you say you're most nervous will happen during the appointment? We're here to talk it through.

I'll share below too some tools which might be helpful if you feel panicked at all today:
We'll be here on the other side of the meeting.

@eylah , I hear you, and that sounds so isolating at the moment, Eylah. I hear just how daunting and triggering this situation is feeling for you, and you deserve support. Your Community will be right here for you tomorrow in this little corner of the internet!

Watching the Twitch videos this evening sounds like a really soothing way to look after yourself.

What was it like for you when the police officers were listening to you before, and when they mentioned about CMHT. How did you feel about that? I wonder too, what helped you to open up in that moment? I wonder if those same things might help tomorrow. You're doing so well to talk about this, and we see how alone or uncared for you're feeling right now, and you're welcome here exactly as you are.

@eylah , firstly, I just want to echo what @Lili5Bet has said here - I can imagine that opening up like that to the officers might have taken so much courage, and it's really positive to hear that you received the kindness and focus that you deserve, and that you felt listened to.

It is so valid that you're feeling frightened about tomorrow, and specifically, about how you might feel afterwards or how isolating that could be. It sounds so hard to be really craving a hug right now and to not be able to have that.

You mentioned you might give Rape Crisis a contact, which sounds really positive. May I ask, might there be anyone else tomorrow you would feel comfortable texting, e.g. any friends for instance, to let them know tomorrow feels hard? And if you didn't wish to share the specifics of what's happening tomorrow with them maybe saying something like - 'Hey, tomorrow's a really nerve-wracking day for me. I don't really want to go into it right now, but I wondered if we could have a fun FaceTime tomorrow evening so I've got a positive distraction?' or something like that. You deserve to be able to feel fully in control of how much you wish to share and to ask for support.

I know in the past you've mentioned that watching a funny Twitch streamers video too can be really calming, so I wonder if queuing some of your favourite videos could also be a nice way to prepare for tomorrow and care for yourself in that way?

Here at The Mix, we will also be here for you as a Community tomorrow, and we're sending our thoughts.

eylah wrote: »

tw sexual assault. rly triggering so pls don’t read if the subject sexual assault is triggering for you.

my friend did a welfare check on me yesterday and police came round today to check in on me. they were so lovely and kind they rly listened to me and said they care abt me and want the best for me. they’re annoyed at cmht for discharging me and they said i can open up to them so i did. i spoke to them abt something that happened to me abt a month ago and i told the officers everything. they seemed to rly care abt me and my feelings. but tmr i have to speak to a solo officer abt the next steps and im rly anxious abt it bc i dont have anyone who can support me afterwards. this is a huge thing for me and im just needing a hug and support. i might reach out to rape crisis and talk to them abt tmr and how scared i am but im just rly anxious. im just so scared but so happy bc ppl are listening to me and taking my mind of worries away from me. it’s just shit rly.

Hey lovely @eylah ,

Firstly, a big hug and so much care from me 🫂🫂. You’ve done a really brave thing opening up, it’s not easy, especially with that sort of topic.
I hope this helps!! Sending hugs your way🫂

eylah wrote: »

went for a safe walk and i reached out for help.

@eylah so proud of you for reaching out for help my favourite twat
It's incredibly brave and you should be proud of yourself too.

Hey @DonnerKebab I have just checked and this must have been accidentally done by someone, it was moved into one of our archives, but should be restored now. Super sorry about that and thank you for pointing it out because we wanted to keep these all public so everyone can see all the previous support they have received

i hope when you’re needing ideas to help yourself in the moment that this post helps you. remember. never give up and keep going! you got this ❤️‍🩹

grounding techniques:

- take a bath or shower ( use your favourite shampoo or shower gel! )

- read write draw or paint!

- go take a walk surround yourself with nature and fresh air!

- 5-4-3-2-1 Technique ( 5 things you can see 4 things you can touch 3 things you can hear 2 things you can smell and 1 thing you can taste.)

- hug or scream into a pillow!

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distraction techniques:

- watch a movie

- art or music!

- write a poem or write a story! ( or write down your thoughts )!

- scribble down on paper the emotions you’re currently feeling/experiencing.

- draw a picture or colour in a drawing!

- paint an art piece!
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calming techniques

- meditation or try breathing exercises like box breathing!

- hug a friend or family member!

- write a letter to someone!

- meet up with a friend or family member!

try muscle relaxation, ( try tensing your fists and then relaxing them! )

- positive self talk ( try challenging your negative thoughts and replace them with positive affirmations)

- social support ( talk to trusted friends or family )

- self compassion ( treating yourself with kindness and understanding yourself during difficult times. )

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self care techniques:

paint your nails ( or get them professionally done!)

do your makeup

do your hair ( Maybe do a different style you’ve never tried )

have a warm bath ( and have some bath salts or bath soother in the bath!)

have a snack and some water! ( hydration is key!)

pls know im here for you all. you’re not alone .