Best Of

hey @PunchThe_Internet 🙂

thank you so much for telling us all of this - i know it probably wasn’t easy to share, so i’m proud of you for doing so! you don’t have to go through this alone, and i want you to know we believe you and we care about you.

what you’re experiencing sounds incredibly intense and frightening, and i’m so sorry you’re going through it. i can’t imagine how exhausting and unsettling it must be to feel like you’re never fully alone, even when you are. it’s ok to be scared. honestly, it makes total sense that you are. none of this is your fault.

please try to hold onto this: your mind might be convincing you that you’re unsafe or alone or being watched, but you are still here. you’re still fighting. you’ve made it nine months clean, and that’s huge! that’s not luck or coincidence - that is strength. that something no hallucination, no voice, no night terror can erase.

if the strategies your therapist gave you aren’t working in this moment, it doesn’t mean you’ve failed, it just means you need more support right now, and that’s ok. you’re allowed to need help. this is bigger than something you should have to carry by yourself. could you reach out to your therapist again?

you deserve peace, you deserve rest, and even if everything feels distorted and overwhelming, you still matter so much. i don’t think you’re “special” in a scary or cursed way. i think you’re someone going through something incredibly difficult, who’s still here, still trying to hold on, and who deserves kindness and safety above all else.

if things start getting worse or you feel like you’re in danger, whether from the hallucinations or yourself, please do reach out for support that you are so deserving of! your life is too important to leave to chance.

in case you need, here are some helplines:
we are here, you’re not alone and you don’t have to prove anything to be worthy of love, support, or understanding.

i’m proud of you

@PunchThe_Internet , how are you feeling this afternoon? Thank you so much for sharing this post and for letting us into what's happening for you right now. What I'm hearing is that over the last month your experience of both these visual and auditory hallucinations has been intensifying, and that's felt really unsettling and sometimes guilt-inducing or terrifying for you because you feel watched and the hallucinations feel beyond your control too. I can imagine that being extreamly distressing, and you're doing so well to talk about this both here and with your therapist too.

May I ask, how has it been to explore these experiences within therapy? I wonder how listened to you have felt, and what your relationship with your therapist is like?

You mentioned towards the end of your post that you have been nine months clean without relapse, and I hear the amount of energy and focus this has taken at times. It sounds incredibly tough, particularly when you're being bombarded by such scary sensations and hallucinations. Can I ask - if you feel safe sharing - what might it look like if the hallucinations 'find you' or if a relapse happens? Over the last nine months, what would you say have felt like some of the most helpful tools for you in avoiding relapse, or finding regulation through other ways?

Again, thank you so much @shannon_164 for these helplines.

We're here with you to listen @PunchThe_Internet and appreciate your trust.

@AnonymousToe Hi Toe!

I hear that you have had this on your radar for a long time, and that coming home feels really hard for you with all of your mum's tendencies and also her refusal to take any criticism about it even though it feels so valid for you to express that to her.

I wonder if there are any particular thoughts or feelings you'd like to get out here now that you've gone back home for some time? We are all here to listen to you and I can imagine how tricky this situation has been for you to navigate, and that coming home could have filled you with lots of dread that you don't deserve to feel, does that sound right?

@toffuna101 Sorry for the late reply! I've been busy with assignments, im glad to hear you're feeling hopeful. I hope you're doing well!

Hi @Redemption
I totally understand that overwhelmed feeling you get in the morning, it's like all the stress just keeps piling up until one day there's no escaping how it makes you feel. It can be really difficult to keep it all to yourself as well like you have been with your eating habits.
I'm glad you feel comfortable enough to use this space to vent a little though, how are you feeling today?

hey @Mausolus 🙂

firstly, thank you for opening up and being so honest with us - i know that takes a lot and that it probably wasn’t easy to put all of that into words! what you’re feeling is valid, even if your brain keeps trying to tell you it isn’t.

pain doesn’t require a permission slip. you don’t need to come from a “hard life” to feel like things are falling apart. you are human, and what you’re going through right now is heavy and real, no amount of privilege cancels that out. feeling lost, angry, or disconnected doesn’t make you ungrateful or fake. it just means you’re struggling, and that’s ok, you are allowed to struggle.

the self-hatred, the overload of thoughts, the feeling like you’re disconnected from yourself and the world around you, it all sounds exhausting, the fact that you’re aware of it, that you can articulate it like this, shows a lot of depth and strength, even if you don’t feel that way right now.

you’re not a poser. you’re not making this up. you’re not some broken copy of someone else. you are a person who’s hurting and trying to figure it all out, and even if it doesn’t feel like it, that’s a really brave thing to be doing.

please done feel like you have to go through this alone - we are all here for you!! you’re not a burden, you deserve kindness and space to feel what you feel, and even if it’s hard to see now, there’s a future where this fog starts to lift, slowly and quietly.

you’re not an animal. you’re not a failure. you are a person with a mind that’s working against you right now and that’s not your fault.

you’ve got this