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Best Of
Re: Anybody want to vent or chat about anything? (Triggering stuff edition) w/c 04.08
Hey @eylah how are you doing today? It sounds like you care a lot about your friend and you did really well to help them get the support they need.having to ring ambo and police on my friend bc they’re saying they’re suicidal and other stuff etc. im so tired of this im not a fucking therapist.
You're also right that you're not their therapist, and it's okay to set boundaries. Being there as a friend is one thing. But there's a reason why dedicated crisis services require a lot of training and supervision to work on: it's difficult and requires a lot of support to do long-term.
We have a post about how you can set boundaries with a friend and there's a specific section of it which may feel helpful for you. I'll pop it down below
If your friend is at breaking point, here's what you can do (click the spoiler):What you can do now for the person in crisis
So when someone is currently in crisis, the first thing we recommend is urging them to contact crisis services themselves - Samaritans, Papyrus, Shout, 999 or A&E.
If they don't want to, that's okay. It's not your responsibility to keep them safe, and sometimes the best thing is to allow someone to make their own decision. People tend to be more capable than we give them credit for, even in crisis, and it's okay to give them and you some space.
Another option is to contact 999 for your friend yourself. We would only recommend this if you think they are in immediate danger and need emergency services to intervene directly.
Keeping you safe
Your wellbeing and emotional safety is important too, which means getting the support you need.
You can contact crisis services to ask for help supporting someone else, and they'll happily chat to you.
If you feel you've reached the end of what you can do, it's okay to say that and set some boundaries for now. That might mean saying something like "I care about you, and I feel that I've done what I can as your friend right now, so I'm going to take a step back from this conversation"
A more substantial boundary-setting conversation might be needed afterwards, but saying this should give you the space you need to step away in the now.
Katie
2
Re: Anybody want to vent or chat about anything? w/c 04.08
Animalloverb wrote: »@Redemption
I'm a waste honestly it doesn't matter. Support is not something I have deserved anyway
No you're not a waste I absolutely promise you that and you are absolutely deserving of support, please please try to be kind to yourself, I know its easier said than done it might feel hard but you're amazing @Animalloverb ❤️
Re: Rant (TW- one mention of suicide
Animalloverb wrote: »@Redemption
The other day I nearly got fired from my job so that was awful, I mean especially after all I did just to get in that day. And now I am apparently on a fine line to being fired.
I'm hiding a lot of stuff to be honest.
I'm hiding the fact that I still think of my abuser. And I'm not actually as strong as I seem to be.
I'm also constantly in meetings at the moment trying to change systems for Young people for 2 different things. And it is hard work to be honest. Doing that as well as studying something and working 2 jobs.
That's not everything, but it's all I am going to say for now as I'm not boring anyone with my problems that absolutely don't matter as they aren't that much. People have it worse.
@Animalloverb that does sound awful about the job. You are incredibly brave for talking about this and you can share as much or as little as you want.
Re: Rant (TW- one mention of suicide
Do whatever you're confortable with but we're here no matter whatAnimalloverb wrote: »
Re: Rant (TW- one mention of suicide
Animalloverb wrote: »I know @Redemption but I just don't think anyone would even care anyway. Nothing anyone can do and I'm just a waste. I'm not that important.
You are absolutely not a waste @Animalloverb I know it might or does feel like it but I promise you aren't a waste. You are important and we all care about you here ❤️
Re: Rant (TW- one mention of suicide
you definitely are important to us here at the mix @Animalloverb . i know we can’t physically do anything to change what’s going on in your life but we do rly care abt you. even if it’s virtually supporting you we still want to try give you a place to be heard and to be listened to. pls keep reaching out bc you’re important. 
eylah
1
Re: Rant (TW- one mention of suicide
Animalloverb wrote: »@Redemption
Thank you both I appreciate it.
Just, I have a lot going on right now, nothing that deserves to be shared.
You deserve to share anything you want @Animalloverb , its tough services have failed you, Im really sorry to hear that but you do deserve to be heard if you did ever need that, I know Im repeating myself but we are all deserving of support. The system urgently needs changing , its never you thats the issue ❤️ please don't ever think that.
Re: Updated Community Guidelines (Please read!)
Can i ask what's changed in the community guidelines because it looks the same as before?
Re: Updated Community Guidelines (Please read!)
I was also going to ask what exactly has changed. A summary of the specific changes would be really helpful, I see there’s new bits been added about DMs but it would be handy to know what specifically has changed from before
Edit: having another look, this looks pretty much like the unwritten rules have simply been written down. There are sections added about discussions of sex, alcohol etc, which were already guidelines, but you had to have been around for a while (or have broken them by accident) to know they were guidelines.
I see also that multiple accounts are no longer permitted under any circumstances. I think before they were allowed with approval for posts which could be sensitive in nature. If it’s been approved and the community team are aware of it, I don’t see how this has a major impact on safeguarding - if it’s known who’s account it is, surely it’s the same whichever account they’re using?
Second edit (I will stop after this i promise) if you’re not allowed to use the community while impaired by alcohol, i feel a similar statement should be added in the section below on drugs. At least the illegal ones, because they can change your behaviour even more than alcohol can so could be even more of a risk than being drunk.
Third edit (i know I’ve already broken the promise) might also be worth adding some clarification that you can’t directly DM the staff team on here unless they DM you first. At least for new users, they might try to DM before a thread is set up and feel confused as to why they aren’t able to.
Edit: having another look, this looks pretty much like the unwritten rules have simply been written down. There are sections added about discussions of sex, alcohol etc, which were already guidelines, but you had to have been around for a while (or have broken them by accident) to know they were guidelines.
I see also that multiple accounts are no longer permitted under any circumstances. I think before they were allowed with approval for posts which could be sensitive in nature. If it’s been approved and the community team are aware of it, I don’t see how this has a major impact on safeguarding - if it’s known who’s account it is, surely it’s the same whichever account they’re using?
Second edit (I will stop after this i promise) if you’re not allowed to use the community while impaired by alcohol, i feel a similar statement should be added in the section below on drugs. At least the illegal ones, because they can change your behaviour even more than alcohol can so could be even more of a risk than being drunk.
Third edit (i know I’ve already broken the promise) might also be worth adding some clarification that you can’t directly DM the staff team on here unless they DM you first. At least for new users, they might try to DM before a thread is set up and feel confused as to why they aren’t able to.
