Best Of

I don’t see a bright future. For most of the time where I make a plan to end my life, I end up bailing out for stupid reasons like “oh, but this event is going on in a month and you’ll ruin it for the family” and “oh but what if it does get better” or “what if it’s painful” or “what if you fail and become disabled for the rest of your life”

I hope one day, these excuses will do fuck all to keep me safe. I hope I one day gain the courage to put me out of my fucking misery

especially when the shit that makes me depressed is actually real. It’s not some bullshit lie that I’ve made up in my head because of my “low self esteem 🥺🥺🥺”. I am unlovable in the real world. I am heavily disliked in the real world. Despite having luck in being able to get into a lot of job interviews, something always fucks me over and I’m unable to actually get a new job. I’m stuck in a shit slum full of bastards who could not care less if they walked in on my dead body. I’m trapped. Even my therapist has said she feels bad and how I must feel “stucked”

Suicide is my only escape from my depressive thoughts based on the reality that love isn’t an option for me.

I just really appreciate the support I get here, I feel like I belong somewhere that Im just someone with normal, understandable, valid feelings and Im not broken or arrogant and Im worthy.

has anyone watched ‘our girl’ on bbc iplayer. its all over my tiktok and on episode 1 rn. just wanted to ask if anyone watched it or not.

Redemption wrote: »

I feel like I get upset too much and Im too sensitive.I just overthink and just been finding things tough but I think I need to overcome my sensitivity. Ive just been getting this feeling where I just feel like crying and its becoming regular now.

sending you love and hugs. am here for you through thick and thin. we all care abt you here at the mix and we’re here for you.

Hi @Redemption, that's fair enough, I can hear how it can make things more difficult. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you - you've worked so hard towards your goal, and I hope that you'll get an opportunity soon!

Hi @Lottie5433, thank you for being open and sharing your experience here with us, it can be a difficult thing to do and I wanted to recognise that.

I'm sorry to hear about your experience with the mental health sub team - it sounds like a frustrating situation between the cancelled groups, inconsistent wellbeing calls and your comfort around talking about what you're going through. Your feelings are valid, and we hear you.

Please be kind to yourself about relapsing - it happens, and I can hear that you're trying your best to manage a difficult situation. You mentioned that you're struggling to hide it from people - is there someone that you feel comfortable talking to about your experience? Or alternatively, are there other outlets (such as journalling) that can help you to express yourself in some way?

It's good to hear that your general manager is aware of your struggles and your journey, supportive of you looking after your wellbeing, and holds you in positive regard about your work. How does it feel to have someone at your workplace who is supportive and understands your wellbeing journey?

And finally, I can hear that you're trying to put up a front so that people don't worry about you. You are worthy of support, and you are worth worrying about. Your mental wellbeing is important, and your general manager is an example that there's someone in your life that values this. We're also here to support you and listen to you through this.