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Having a parent who hoards

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Comments

  • AnonymousToeAnonymousToe Posts: 2,675 Boards Guru
    eylah wrote: »
    AnonymousToe wrote: »
    My dad is blaming me too. This is so hard

    why. :(. im so sry.

    He was cleaning stuff, I think he just took it out on me because I was closest. I’m feeling better now though
  • eylaheylah Posts: 7,683 Master Poster
    AnonymousToe wrote: »
    eylah wrote: »
    AnonymousToe wrote: »
    My dad is blaming me too. This is so hard

    why. :(. im so sry.

    He was cleaning stuff, I think he just took it out on me because I was closest. I’m feeling better now though

    im still sry he took it out on you. im here if you need to talk or anything. i care abt you. <3
    ppl dont always need advice. sometimes all they rly need is a hand to hold. an ear to listen. and a heart to understand them. 🧸
  • AnonymousToeAnonymousToe Posts: 2,675 Boards Guru
    eylah wrote: »
    AnonymousToe wrote: »
    eylah wrote: »
    AnonymousToe wrote: »
    My dad is blaming me too. This is so hard

    why. :(. im so sry.

    He was cleaning stuff, I think he just took it out on me because I was closest. I’m feeling better now though

    im still sry he took it out on you. im here if you need to talk or anything. i care abt you. <3

    Thank you <3 I appreciate you
  • eylaheylah Posts: 7,683 Master Poster
    AnonymousToe wrote: »
    eylah wrote: »
    AnonymousToe wrote: »
    eylah wrote: »
    AnonymousToe wrote: »
    My dad is blaming me too. This is so hard

    why. :(. im so sry.

    He was cleaning stuff, I think he just took it out on me because I was closest. I’m feeling better now though

    im still sry he took it out on you. im here if you need to talk or anything. i care abt you. <3

    Thank you <3 I appreciate you

    your a kind kind soul. i hate to see you upset. <3. you always here for me. so im here for you too. <3
    ppl dont always need advice. sometimes all they rly need is a hand to hold. an ear to listen. and a heart to understand them. 🧸
  • AnonymousToeAnonymousToe Posts: 2,675 Boards Guru
    My mum was moving stuff and I didn’t take something off her quickly enough so she threw it at my feet. She didn’t throw it hard or fast and it didn’t hit me but still. Makes me feel worthless
  • eylaheylah Posts: 7,683 Master Poster
    im so sry @AnonymousToe . no mother should treat their child like that. your not worthless your so incredibly strong. how are you feeling now? here for you. <3
    ppl dont always need advice. sometimes all they rly need is a hand to hold. an ear to listen. and a heart to understand them. 🧸
  • AnonymousToeAnonymousToe Posts: 2,675 Boards Guru
    Thank you @eylah im ok
  • eylaheylah Posts: 7,683 Master Poster
    AnonymousToe wrote: »
    Thank you @eylah im ok

    im sry to hear everything thats happening for you but your so incredibly important to everyone. i wish things were better for you. :(<3
    ppl dont always need advice. sometimes all they rly need is a hand to hold. an ear to listen. and a heart to understand them. 🧸
  • AnonymousToeAnonymousToe Posts: 2,675 Boards Guru
    My mum is so angry / aggressive all the time
  • Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Discussion Boards Moderator Posts: 5,437 Part of The Furniture
    Hey @AnonymousToe. You have been really brave in sharing this with us.

    Can we ask more about what this looks like for you and if you feel safe at the moment? You deserve support with this and we hope you feel safe.

    Please remember there are services, like 999, available if you ever feel unsafe or need some additional support. We are here with you <3
    FAQ | How to report a post | How to report spam
    I'm a community moderator. I'm here to help guide discussions and make sure Community Guidelines are followed. I can't send DMs, but you can message @TheMix or email community@themix.org.uk with questions or concerns.
  • AnonymousToeAnonymousToe Posts: 2,675 Boards Guru
    Thank you @Laura_tigger82 I’m safe, sorry if I made it sound like I wasn’t
  • AnonymousToeAnonymousToe Posts: 2,675 Boards Guru
    My mum’s being miserable and i dont know why but I feel like it’s my responsibility to deal with. She makes me feel like crap too
  • eylaheylah Posts: 7,683 Master Poster
    im sry @AnonymousToe . here for you <3
    ppl dont always need advice. sometimes all they rly need is a hand to hold. an ear to listen. and a heart to understand them. 🧸
  • amy02amy02 Inactive Posts: 405 Listening Ear
    I'm so sorry to hear that @AnonymousToe you deserve to have your feelings listened to and be supported as well <3 We are always here for you to talk
  • AnonymousToeAnonymousToe Posts: 2,675 Boards Guru
    I wanna make my room more manageable to live in, but I can’t because that would mean getting rid of stuff which means dealing with my mum wanting to keep everything.
  • sinead276sinead276 Posts: 2,005 Boards Champion
    hope you're doing okay today @AnonymousToe and sending you a big hug
  • AnonymousToeAnonymousToe Posts: 2,675 Boards Guru
    My little sister just had the horrifying realisation that we’ll have to deal with the house/hoard when our parents die. This isn’t fair
  • AnonymousToeAnonymousToe Posts: 2,675 Boards Guru
    AnonymousToe wrote: »
    It hurts to never get to sit on a chair :/
    AnonymousToe wrote: »
    AnonymousToe wrote: »
    It hurts to never get to sit on a chair :/

    I’ve had the same pain from having to sit on the floor for 3 weeks now.

    6 weeks.
  • eylaheylah Posts: 7,683 Master Poster
    hugs @AnonymousToe here for you <3. care abt you sm <3
    ppl dont always need advice. sometimes all they rly need is a hand to hold. an ear to listen. and a heart to understand them. 🧸
  • AnonymousToeAnonymousToe Posts: 2,675 Boards Guru
    It’s not about the hoarding but it’s just so so hard to do anything with my mum, she’s so unpredictable and I can’t deal with it 😭
  • amy02amy02 Inactive Posts: 405 Listening Ear
    So sorry to hear you are struggling @AnonymousToe it must be so hard to deal with someone else's emotions along with your own. I hope you are still able to do things to take care of yourself <3 Remember we are always here for you to talk things through
  • eylaheylah Posts: 7,683 Master Poster
    here for you toe i care abt you sm <3. so sry your struggling :(
    ppl dont always need advice. sometimes all they rly need is a hand to hold. an ear to listen. and a heart to understand them. 🧸
  • AnonymousToeAnonymousToe Posts: 2,675 Boards Guru
    Nobody understands. My dad said it looked like I had no desire to clear any space. But I really really want to, I just can’t because my mum will shout and shout if I ask to get rid of anything. Plus it’s so overwhelming with the stupid moth infestation. I feel like absolutely everything is dirty. It’s really hard. My dad is one of the two other people (excluding me, and my mum because she’s the hoarder) who knows what the house is like and even he doesn’t understand what it’s like for me.
  • eylaheylah Posts: 7,683 Master Poster
    im so sry to hear this im here for you. <3
    ppl dont always need advice. sometimes all they rly need is a hand to hold. an ear to listen. and a heart to understand them. 🧸
  • amy02amy02 Inactive Posts: 405 Listening Ear
    I can hear how overwhelming this must be @AnonymousToe it's a lot to deal with <3 We're all here for you
  • AnonymousToeAnonymousToe Posts: 2,675 Boards Guru
    Decided I’m going to label everything I want to get rid of but am not allowed to. That way it’ll be quick and easy to see what can go eventually, or if my parents decide to throw away all my stuff while I’m gone to clear space, they can pick the things I don’t want. I dont know. It drives me crazy having to keep stuff because my mum wants it
  • eylaheylah Posts: 7,683 Master Poster
    hugs toe i’m so truly sry to hear. <3 thinking of you.
    ppl dont always need advice. sometimes all they rly need is a hand to hold. an ear to listen. and a heart to understand them. 🧸
  • AnonymousToeAnonymousToe Posts: 2,675 Boards Guru
    It’s hard right now. My dad tried to clear some space in the kitchen by rearranging things, so he got overwhelmed or whatever because of all the stuff and he’s getting annoyed with me, telling me to clear space as if I have any control over it. And my mum is annoyed because things have been moved and she can’t navigate the house in exactly the same way, plus she keeps asking where random things are and searching for them as if it’d be a total catastrophe if some ancient (outgrown) Christmas jumpers got thrown away. She moans about my dad to me. It’s so hard being the oldest child.
  • AnonymousToeAnonymousToe Posts: 2,675 Boards Guru
    Without moving stuff around, there’s only actually space for one person (my mum) to sit and eat downstairs. Nice
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