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Comments
As an older sibling it's pretty natural to feel like you're responsible for the well being of your younger sister. I wonder if you could focus more on the things that are within your control such as having a loving relationship with your sister and being a safe space for her in an environment that doesn't feel so safe.. Your sister sounds lucky to have you as an older sibling. I also think you deserve to have that emotional safety as well, in whatever spaces you can find and create it. Besides here on community, I hope you can find that with your other relationships such as friends and maybe other family. Your anger and frustration are all so real and valid, and I still find myself feeling hurt and angry years later. I try my best though to make sure I'm not holding that in just for myself, and that I'm talking about it and allowing myself to feel what I need without any self-judgement.
I hope you can have a somewhat peaceful day today
hey might not be a gd idea or suitable but maybe a library bc you could listen to music and might help you not fall asleep. ❤️ hope your ok
sry 💔 i didnt know im so sry 💔
hugs im still sry for suggesting something that isn’t accessible for you 🥺💔
Also last night I had a really weird dream about it all. My sleep is never restful
(I’m 19 so it doesn’t matter)
I hear that you have had this on your radar for a long time, and that coming home feels really hard for you with all of your mum's tendencies and also her refusal to take any criticism about it even though it feels so valid for you to express that to her.
I wonder if there are any particular thoughts or feelings you'd like to get out here now that you've gone back home for some time? We are all here to listen to you and I can imagine how tricky this situation has been for you to navigate, and that coming home could have filled you with lots of dread that you don't deserve to feel, does that sound right?
I’m not alone anymore…?? I’m still not sure about sharing all the details, but someone knows now and that feels like such a relief. I know I’ve been talking about it here for 18 months and I had told the counselling/wellbeing people at uni but only very very vaguely, playing it down as soon as they showed any concern. This feels different. It may end terribly, but it feels like such a relief. Everything feels so surreal.
(Also Leyla I was only a home for a little bit, back at uni now for a few more weeks which helps. Thank you for replying.)
I hate it here. It’s not home anymore.
sry for not replying until now im sending you so many hugs. how are things now? i rly hope you’re doing okay
My mum’s blaming everyone else, my dad’s getting really annoyed, my sister hates me because she only sees the link between me coming back from uni and how bad it’s got because there’s not space for all of us anymore. I hate it here. I want to give my mum one last chance and if she doesn’t take it, then we all abandon her. I don’t give a shit anymore. She doesn’t, so why should I? I don’t want to live like this but I don’t know or understand the logistics of getting away from it.
I wish my mum cared about me as much as she cares about all her shit
@AnonymousToe I'm so sorry what you're going through, that there’s no room for you at home, I can see how stressful that can be abd then multiple family going at you, I can definitely see how hard that is too. Then just giving you mum a chance for her no to take it, not to care etc. We all definitely deserve loving family who care about us, I'm so so sorry with what you're going through, we are all hear for you though, you know where I am if you want to talk, I can talk here or the venting threads if you want, if that helps. It's understandable why you don't think you think you should care. Anyway, take it easy please ❤️.
You said that you don't know or understand the logistics of how to get away from this situation, and I get the sense that you're feeling really trapped right now? Is that right? You said that your sister too keeps making a link between you returning home and things getting worse, and again, that sounds really upsetting when in actuality you're struggling with home-life too and you have not been responsbile for your mum's actions.
In an ideal world, what would you say you'd like to happen next? E.g. if there were no obstacles in your way, might you wish to live in a new place? To live alone? With your siblings? To have a different kind of relationship with your mum? What would you wish for if you knew it would happen?
Would you feel comfortable sharing at all about the ages of your siblings? I wonder if anyone else in your life is aware of what things are feeling like at home right now, e.g. any other wider family or friends of yours? I can imagine it might feel really isolating to be going through this, and we're here to listen.