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Having a parent who hoards

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Comments

  • briannatbriannat Inactive Posts: 114 The Mix Convert
    @AnonymousToe some of what you mentioned here reminds me of my own difficult relationship with my mother. It's so frustrating to be able to see what help is needed to make the situation better, your living situation and your personal relationship with your mother as well as her relationship with herself. Knowing that help exist out there for these types of problems and yet seeing your parent actively choosing not to get help, it feels so deeply and unfair and infuriating at times. I think I had to accept at some point that I can't force someone to help themselves if they don't want to. This took years of my own therapy and work on the self to realise. At 19 though I was mostly just sad and angry about everything.

    As an older sibling it's pretty natural to feel like you're responsible for the well being of your younger sister. I wonder if you could focus more on the things that are within your control such as having a loving relationship with your sister and being a safe space for her in an environment that doesn't feel so safe.. Your sister sounds lucky to have you as an older sibling. I also think you deserve to have that emotional safety as well, in whatever spaces you can find and create it. Besides here on community, I hope you can find that with your other relationships such as friends and maybe other family. Your anger and frustration are all so real and valid, and I still find myself feeling hurt and angry years later. I try my best though to make sure I'm not holding that in just for myself, and that I'm talking about it and allowing myself to feel what I need without any self-judgement.

    I hope you can have a somewhat peaceful day today <3
  • AnonymousToeAnonymousToe Posts: 2,686 Boards Guru
    I could really do with somewhere to study that isn’t my bed. I just fall asleep
  • eylaheylah Posts: 7,937 Master Poster
    I could really do with somewhere to study that isn’t my bed. I just fall asleep

    hey might not be a gd idea or suitable but maybe a library bc you could listen to music and might help you not fall asleep. ❤️ hope your ok
    ppl dont always need advice. sometimes all they rly need is a hand to hold. an ear to listen. and a heart to understand them. 🧸
  • AnonymousToeAnonymousToe Posts: 2,686 Boards Guru
    Thank you @eylah thats a good idea. If only I could leave the house 😂
  • eylaheylah Posts: 7,937 Master Poster
    Thank you @eylah thats a good idea. If only I could leave the house 😂

    sry 💔 i didnt know im so sry 💔
    ppl dont always need advice. sometimes all they rly need is a hand to hold. an ear to listen. and a heart to understand them. 🧸
  • AnonymousToeAnonymousToe Posts: 2,686 Boards Guru
    Oh @eylah don’t worry, it’s ok! 🩷
  • eylaheylah Posts: 7,937 Master Poster
    Oh @eylah don’t worry, it’s ok! 🩷

    hugs im still sry for suggesting something that isn’t accessible for you 🥺💔
    ppl dont always need advice. sometimes all they rly need is a hand to hold. an ear to listen. and a heart to understand them. 🧸
  • AnonymousToeAnonymousToe Posts: 2,686 Boards Guru
    She buried some of my clothes in a pile while I was away, and so when I tried to get to them, she started complaining about me ‘destabilising everything’. She cares more about having a nice pile of hoard than about people actually using their possessions. Now she’s doing her thing where she wants people to feel bad for her and nobody’s allowed to be happy. It’s shit.

    Also last night I had a really weird dream about it all. My sleep is never restful
  • eylaheylah Posts: 7,937 Master Poster
    ppl dont always need advice. sometimes all they rly need is a hand to hold. an ear to listen. and a heart to understand them. 🧸
  • AnonymousToeAnonymousToe Posts: 2,686 Boards Guru
    I hate being at uni and I hate being at home. I’m never happy no matter the circumstances. At uni I can’t wait to go home again. At home I can’t wait to get away. I want a home that’s not toxic. I need help but my struggles have to be buried because my mum’s more important. I dont know why she can’t see that. It’s so hard.
    (I’m 19 so it doesn’t matter)
  • Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Discussion Boards Moderator Posts: 5,437 Part of The Furniture
    It matters to us @AnonymousToe and so do you. You deserve to have a home you feel comfortable in and want to be in. We can hear how important your mum is to you but you also matter and we care about you <3
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  • AnonymousToeAnonymousToe Posts: 2,686 Boards Guru
    Omg coming back home to this is so awful. I hate it here, I hate it here
  • LeylaLeyla Community Manager Posts: 220 Trailblazer
    @AnonymousToe Hi Toe!

    I hear that you have had this on your radar for a long time, and that coming home feels really hard for you with all of your mum's tendencies and also her refusal to take any criticism about it even though it feels so valid for you to express that to her.

    I wonder if there are any particular thoughts or feelings you'd like to get out here now that you've gone back home for some time? We are all here to listen to you and I can imagine how tricky this situation has been for you to navigate, and that coming home could have filled you with lots of dread that you don't deserve to feel, does that sound right?
  • AnonymousToeAnonymousToe Posts: 2,686 Boards Guru
    I blurted it all out to someone. I didn’t mean to, it kind of happened by accident. I was so horrified. I don’t know how to feel now. It definitely wasn’t as dramatic as I had expected telling someone would be. I thought for a second that I’d ruined my life, but.. nothing happened.

    I’m not alone anymore…?? I’m still not sure about sharing all the details, but someone knows now and that feels like such a relief. I know I’ve been talking about it here for 18 months and I had told the counselling/wellbeing people at uni but only very very vaguely, playing it down as soon as they showed any concern. This feels different. It may end terribly, but it feels like such a relief. Everything feels so surreal.

    (Also Leyla I was only a home for a little bit, back at uni now for a few more weeks which helps. Thank you for replying.)
  • AnonymousToeAnonymousToe Posts: 2,686 Boards Guru
    Kind of just wish I hadn’t reminded myself of it all. Everything I do feels pointless because I’m ultimately just going to end up stuck in a hoarder home again, possibly forever. I was always destined to have no future and I’m not sure why I bother
  • AnonymousToeAnonymousToe Posts: 2,686 Boards Guru
    I hate it here. Nobody wants me at home because there’s no space. My sister hates me. I’m so fucking worthless to everyone. I want somewhere else to live but I don’t have any money. I wish I could get a job to even start saving, but I can’t talk, so that’s kind of out of the question. I’m stuck in a hoarder home but I’m 19 so nobody cares because apparently I’ve chosen this. Yeah it’s this or homelessness - what am I supposed to pick?!

    I hate it here. It’s not home anymore.
  • eylaheylah Posts: 7,937 Master Poster
    I hate it here. Nobody wants me at home because there’s no space. My sister hates me. I’m so fucking worthless to everyone. I want somewhere else to live but I don’t have any money. I wish I could get a job to even start saving, but I can’t talk, so that’s kind of out of the question. I’m stuck in a hoarder home but I’m 19 so nobody cares because apparently I’ve chosen this. Yeah it’s this or homelessness - what am I supposed to pick?!

    I hate it here. It’s not home anymore.

    sry for not replying until now im sending you so many hugs. how are things now? i rly hope you’re doing okay <3 always here for you <3
    ppl dont always need advice. sometimes all they rly need is a hand to hold. an ear to listen. and a heart to understand them. 🧸
  • AnonymousToeAnonymousToe Posts: 2,686 Boards Guru
    edited 12:52AM
    I hate this so much. I dont know what I’m supposed to do. I just keep trying to ignore it because nothing else I do makes a positive difference, but it still continues to get worse. There’s not really space for all 4 of us to be downstairs anymore. I knew space was gonna get consumed when I went to uni but it feels so crap to come back home and there’s no room for you anymore.

    My mum’s blaming everyone else, my dad’s getting really annoyed, my sister hates me because she only sees the link between me coming back from uni and how bad it’s got because there’s not space for all of us anymore. I hate it here. I want to give my mum one last chance and if she doesn’t take it, then we all abandon her. I don’t give a shit anymore. She doesn’t, so why should I? I don’t want to live like this but I don’t know or understand the logistics of getting away from it.

    I wish my mum cared about me as much as she cares about all her shit
  • RedemptionRedemption Community Connector Posts: 4,449 Community Veteran
    I hate this so much. I dont know what I’m supposed to do. I just keep trying to ignore it because nothing else I do makes a positive difference, but it still continues to get worse. There’s not really space for all 4 of us to be downstairs anymore. I knew space was gonna get consumed when I went to uni but it feels so crap to come back home and there’s no room for you anymore.

    My mum’s blaming everyone else, my dad’s getting really annoyed, my sister hates me because she only sees the link between me coming back from uni and how bad it’s got because there’s not space for all of us anymore. I hate it here. I want to give my mum one last chance and if she doesn’t take it, then we all abandon her. I don’t give a shit anymore. She doesn’t, so why should I? I don’t want to live like this but I don’t know or understand the logistics of getting away from it.

    I wish my mum cared about me as much as she cares about all her shit

    @AnonymousToe I'm so sorry what you're going through, that there’s no room for you at home, I can see how stressful that can be abd then multiple family going at you, I can definitely see how hard that is too. Then just giving you mum a chance for her no to take it, not to care etc. We all definitely deserve loving family who care about us, I'm so so sorry with what you're going through, we are all hear for you though, you know where I am if you want to talk, I can talk here or the venting threads if you want, if that helps. It's understandable why you don't think you think you should care. Anyway, take it easy please ❤️.
  • Sian321Sian321 Community Manager Posts: 1,586 Extreme Poster
    @AnonymousToe , thank you so much for sharing this, and I wonder how you're doing this week? What you've described sounds so stressful and hurtful too - returning from Uni and finding that there's actually not enough space for you at home and feeling like your mum prioritises care for her things over care for you. That sounds painful, and you're doing really well to talk about this here.

    You said that you don't know or understand the logistics of how to get away from this situation, and I get the sense that you're feeling really trapped right now? Is that right? You said that your sister too keeps making a link between you returning home and things getting worse, and again, that sounds really upsetting when in actuality you're struggling with home-life too and you have not been responsbile for your mum's actions.

    In an ideal world, what would you say you'd like to happen next? E.g. if there were no obstacles in your way, might you wish to live in a new place? To live alone? With your siblings? To have a different kind of relationship with your mum? What would you wish for if you knew it would happen?

    Would you feel comfortable sharing at all about the ages of your siblings? I wonder if anyone else in your life is aware of what things are feeling like at home right now, e.g. any other wider family or friends of yours? I can imagine it might feel really isolating to be going through this, and we're here to listen.
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