Having a parent who hoards

amy02

So sorry to hear @AnonymousToe I can't imagine the weight this must put on you We are all here for you

eylah

hugs toe hope your ok i care abt you .

AnonymousToe

My mum is looking for something so there are things falling everywhere and she’s shouting and swearing at it and demanding I take things off her immediately. It sounds like nothing but it’s hard. I hate the demands 😭

AnonymousToe

I’m scared. Something happened that I probably shouldn’t share with anyone and fuck. Nobody’s been hurt or anything. Everything is fine but it was like a warning I suppose and now I’m just filled with dread. I can’t have it get any worse than this. Oh fuck I hate this so so much 😭 It wasn’t really that bad but it could have been if I wasn’t paying attention, and it only happened because of the hoard. I hope this makes my mum do something. Anything. I won’t be here much longer (going to uni) but it doesn’t feel right leaving my sister here. It’s so hard

EmLiz

@AnonymousToe I'm so sorry you experienced something really scary but I'm glad no one was hurt Just to say that you're totally valid to feel this way. Can I ask why you feel you shouldn't share it with anyone? Would you find it helpful to feel able to talk more about the situation?

I also definitely hear you when you say it doesn't feel right to be leaving right now. But hopefully a bit of space will be a positive for you, and you'll still be able to be there for your sister emotionally when and if she does need you. Sometimes we think physically being there is as important as emotional support, but I would guess that having you as someone who empathises and understands is an important thing that brings comfort, and that won't change.

I think it's often really common to maybe feel a sense of guilt when your own situation changes, so please try not beat yourself up about that as going to uni is a huge thing in itself to celebrate.

AnonymousToe

There are loads of rules about keeping things clean in our uni accommodation but they just say to keep things ‘acceptable’ but I don’t know what’s normal. I’m scared I’ll accidentally break the rules because I’m used to living in a disgusting environment

AnonymousToe

My sister is being horrible to me, there’s not even space for me in the house right now and she’s judging me and laughing at me for every fucking thing I do. I’m a big mess rn because I leave for uni really really soon and I don’t even know how to feel. Nobody cares and everything is about my sister because she’s ill, which is kind of alright but I don’t know why she has to be horrible to me. It’s so hard 😭

toffuna101

sending hugs @AnonymousToe

EmLiz

hey @AnonymousToe I’m really sorry to hear you’re dealing with all of this right now. It sounds like such a tough situation with your sister and everything going on at home.

For your uni place, moving into a new environment can definitely take some readjusting with new rules and expectations (and dw that will be the case for everyone, although I understand why you feel more worried about that side of things). It’s totally normal for everyone to go through a bit of a trial-and-error phase as you all get used to each other’s habits and figure out what “acceptable” means for everyone. Have you met your housemates yet? Once you’re all settled, it might be helpful for you all to have a casual chat about how you’ll handle house things together. In my experience these things naturally come up when living with new people.

And I’m really sorry to hear about how things are with your sister. It must be so hard to be dealing with her behaviour on top of everything else. How are you holding up? Do you have anyone you can talk to about this, or maybe a friend who you trust?

As always we're here if you need to chat more or need any advice. You don’t have to go through this alone.

AnonymousToe

Lost something really important in the hoarded living room and my mum just says, ‘well, if your room was tidier then this wouldn’t have happened’. Last time I remember seeing this thing was in my mum’s hand. This is such a fucking disaster

AnonymousToe

My mum put it somewhere. It’s found now

eylah

AnonymousToe wrote: »

My mum put it somewhere. It’s found now

oh that’s gd how are things now?