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Having a parent who hoards

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    AnonymousToeAnonymousToe Posts: 1,087 Wise Owl
    She’s asking me to move things again and I feel like crap
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    AnonymousToeAnonymousToe Posts: 1,087 Wise Owl
    I really can’t take everyone shouting at me over things I can’t help. I opened a drawer and some stuff balanced against the drawers fell down. Our house is a state to the point that you don’t actually know what’s fallen. My sister came in and saw one of her things wasn’t where she left it, so she blamed me and my mum joined in. You literally can’t touch anything in this dump 😭
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    Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Moderator Posts: 5,132 Part of The Furniture
    It sounds really upsetting that everyone is shouting at you for things you can't help @AnonymousToe. I am hearing this feels out of control at the moment and other people's reactions are only making this more difficult for you. Is there anything which might help this to feel more manageable for you at the moment? We are all here with you.
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    AnonymousToeAnonymousToe Posts: 1,087 Wise Owl
    Thanks @Laura_tigger82 I’m just trying to focus on the fact that I’ll be going to uni fairly soon now and won’t be stuck in this house all the time. I don’t have control over it so the only way to manage is to try and forget about it. Sometimes that’s impossible, but I’m also so desensitised to the hoarding that I don’t always notice it.
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    AzzimanAzziman Moderator, Community Champion Posts: 1,885 Extreme Poster
    Hey @AnonymousToe, I can hear how difficult this is for you - feeling this way for so long that you feel desensitised doesn't reduce the validity of how you feel about this situation. I hope that focusing on a goal like uni is helpful as it frames the situation as a temporary one for you. Wishing you strength through this, and we're here to support you through the situation <3
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    I'm a community moderator. I'm here to help guide discussions and make sure Community Guidelines are followed. I can't send DMs, but you can message @TheMix or email community@themix.org.uk with questions or concerns.
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    AnonymousToeAnonymousToe Posts: 1,087 Wise Owl
    I hate the amount of responsibility I feel for all this
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    AnonymousToeAnonymousToe Posts: 1,087 Wise Owl
    She just kicks everything out of her way, swears, and demands that I move things instantly. She’s driving me crazy
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    AnonymousToeAnonymousToe Posts: 1,087 Wise Owl
    My mum and sister just collectively blamed me for it :/
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,534 Skive's The Limit
    edited May 18
    I’ve been following along with this thread and hope you’re okay.
    I just wanted to share the Facebook page called “children of hoarders”

    I’ve had a read through of what they share and their quotes like “safe parents don’t bury their children alive” - think meaning with objects ect. And like safe parents should care more about their child than objects and it validated things for me. I don’t know even just the fact they call it abuse cause my mum would gaslight me into thinking it’s not or would blame me. And reading the stuff on their helped me. I’ll share some of the stuff that was insightful to me some how and maybe help you

    And remember you do deserve better. 🫶🏻

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    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    AnonymousToeAnonymousToe Posts: 1,087 Wise Owl
    Thank you so much @Siena <3
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    AnonymousToeAnonymousToe Posts: 1,087 Wise Owl
    I really really want to get out and never see this place again 😭
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