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As an older sibling it's pretty natural to feel like you're responsible for the well being of your younger sister. I wonder if you could focus more on the things that are within your control such as having a loving relationship with your sister and being a safe space for her in an environment that doesn't feel so safe.. Your sister sounds lucky to have you as an older sibling. I also think you deserve to have that emotional safety as well, in whatever spaces you can find and create it. Besides here on community, I hope you can find that with your other relationships such as friends and maybe other family. Your anger and frustration are all so real and valid, and I still find myself feeling hurt and angry years later. I try my best though to make sure I'm not holding that in just for myself, and that I'm talking about it and allowing myself to feel what I need without any self-judgement.
I hope you can have a somewhat peaceful day today
hey might not be a gd idea or suitable but maybe a library bc you could listen to music and might help you not fall asleep. ❤️ hope your ok
sry 💔 i didnt know im so sry 💔
hugs im still sry for suggesting something that isn’t accessible for you 🥺💔
Also last night I had a really weird dream about it all. My sleep is never restful
(I’m 19 so it doesn’t matter)
I hear that you have had this on your radar for a long time, and that coming home feels really hard for you with all of your mum's tendencies and also her refusal to take any criticism about it even though it feels so valid for you to express that to her.
I wonder if there are any particular thoughts or feelings you'd like to get out here now that you've gone back home for some time? We are all here to listen to you and I can imagine how tricky this situation has been for you to navigate, and that coming home could have filled you with lots of dread that you don't deserve to feel, does that sound right?
I’m not alone anymore…?? I’m still not sure about sharing all the details, but someone knows now and that feels like such a relief. I know I’ve been talking about it here for 18 months and I had told the counselling/wellbeing people at uni but only very very vaguely, playing it down as soon as they showed any concern. This feels different. It may end terribly, but it feels like such a relief. Everything feels so surreal.
(Also Leyla I was only a home for a little bit, back at uni now for a few more weeks which helps. Thank you for replying.)