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see thats the way i feel. i'm trying to stop (again) and am showing my arms a bit, and if people ask i saw it something i'm getting over or something like that. Until i accepted that they will always be there i didnt have such an incentive to stop. Its a part of me, it shows what ive been through and hopefully what ive overcome.
My fiance says things like that sometimes, it's meant in the nicest possible way so you have to listen to the sentiment not the words, if that makes sense. Try and explain to him that it's an addiction, and that you need his help and so on, but please don't think he's being an uncaring bastard because he isn't.
It's not guilt-tripping, he's trying to give you an incentive to stop. Do it for him. It always comes across like a guilt-trip but it rarely is- think about how much it must hurt him to see the scars on your arm, and try and see it how he sees it.
Why not?
It makes perfect sense.
A lot of people when faced with the possibility of having to do without their addiction become defensive and aggressive, I know I do and did. But it is perfectly possible to go a month without doing it, I've been stopped two years, but you are quite right- you ahve to want to. If you want to you won't count the days, you'll wake up and realise it's been a week, a month, a year. I barely realised it's been two years, until one time a week or so ago when I nearly cracked and went back, but if you don't want to stop every hour without the "coping" will seem like hell.
It's a bad idea to do it as a present, because all it will do is create bitterness and resentment, as you seem to realise and feel. See it from his point of view, but explain to him that it isn't something you can do.
I would, of course, also advise goign to see a doctor about your depressive problems, because you will be listened to and helped, but that, again, is something you can only do when you feel able to and want to.
The thing is, I did go see my GP (as I said I would) and she said it's all exam stress and made me feel really stupid. The thing is that I'm not sure that it is all about the exams. I'm just not myself at all, and I've done enough exams to know how I usually react to them. I told her all this but she doesn't believe me and now I don't know what to do.
I don't know what the point of that was. Sorry again!
Picc
x
I wish I could say I was surprised piccolo hon. The exam stress probably isn't helping, did you talk to your doctor about getting a sicknote to get mitigating circumstances taken into account? BUt it's a problem I seem to be coming across more and more; the rise on SH as teen angst seems to be meaning that a lot of doctors take SH as just teen angst, and nothing more serious.
I would suggest making anotehr appointment to see another doctor, and just keep going until they listen. My opinion of doctors is not very high, and it's a big problem. Just keep nagging them.
Heck, if all else fails I can reapply in my gap year. It all sucks but I guess it's nothing I won't get through.
Two years ago at uni I got a doctor's letter, now I got a letter from my therapist; let's hope they actually do some good. Exams suck, I'm on the edge of cracking up too:(
Feel free to PM me if you ever need a chat. Take care of you, and try to focus on these exams, they seem important. Any chance of taking the advice Kermit gave me, and having a chat with a tutor to get some support?
I know its just i come across very much as though i don't wanna help myself, and so many people have given me such good advice on here in the past. I do try and take it, it's just all so complicated.
Thanx.Yeh im homeless if i fuck up, like i always do.
One of my subject teachers does know, and is very supportive, but i cant take that any further as my head of 6th form is very interfering with personal matters.That I know from past experience.
:banghead: everythings just too fucking complicated and fucked up right now
I'm curious as to what the main trigger for people is, that makes them start cutting?
For me it is the anger and the humiliation if I am abandoned, I just want to hurt myself to get the pain out, I wondered what it was for everyone else. Because, after all, everyone is unique :yes:
Slightly concerned that recently I've been getting muscle pain when I've been cutting myself. Does anyone know what this could be? Is it, for want of a better word, "normal"? I'm really wary of going to see my GP again, but I can't find anything on NHS Direct so if no one has any ideas I promise I will.
there are many things that are triggering for me and i dont think i could put my finger on it exactly as it is not always that these things are triggering for me. feelings of rejection, not being wanted or loved sometimes makes me want to cut. asking for help sometimes triggers me. i hate asking for help doing anything and it makes me feel worthless and that i have failed. failure is a big thing for me, but not failing in uni or whatever. failing in life, making other people disappointed in me, being disappointed in myself. these are all things that i find triggering.
On a day-to-day basis it is usually when I have done something bad or made a minor mistake or embarrassed myself.
I feel I need to punish myself.
But in the beginning it was deep emotional pain and stuff that got me started.
Physical pain is easier to deal with than emotional pain.
spot on.
but then again you will get pain and hurt from peers around you, but not as much.....
I haven't actually cut in a long time because I have reached the point of stopping caring for stuff so i don't get hurt which means i don't cut.....good hey?
edited for typos
I was just wondering how you are doing today and how the revision and stuff is going.
no better way to put it