If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨
Options
Essential support for under 25s
Essential support for under 25s
Take a look around and enjoy reading the discussions. If you'd like to join in, it's really easy to register and then you'll be able to post. If you'd like to learn what this place is all about, head here.
Comments
I'm 16 and virtually everyday of my life i get physically and mentally abused by my mum. It's happened all my life for as long as i can remember. I self harmed for 3years but finally pulled myself out of that and havent done it now for 6months. Theres only one person in the whole world that i was brave enough to tell but even then i wasnt 100% truthful.
At the moment I just feel like shit and i'm so tired of having to pretend to everyone that i'm "ok" and laugh and joke with my mum when her friends are round. I'm starting a new college next week as well so im bricking it about that too which doesn't help but at least that'll mean i'm out the house more!!
Anyway, really sorry for such a long rant, especially as it's my first post, and i hope you are all ok.
Pure Morning xx
Don't play with lighters, kids.
What's pissed me off more is that two days ago I was Happy Franki. Excited and bouncy and feeling on top of the world. AND I LIKED THAT GOD DAMN IT.
*sigh*
It's not stupid to be ill. You know what you need to do, you need to find the courage to do it. That's what we're here for.
I don't want to hear you calling yourself stupid again.
GI, have you thought that maybe everyone you know could say something good about you? Everyone has flaws, every single one of my friends can point out something they don't like about me. You're not the only one mate.
Blah.
Only because you want to.
Because you think it's all you deserve.
It's easier for you to cope with the bad things- you're used to them, so you know how to. Hearing nice things is new and scary, and you don't know how to deal with that. So you don't.
I know that's how I work in my head. Like...people at work do say nice stuff about me, but I convince myself that they're joking so that I don't have to deal with the fact that someone might actually (shock horror!) like me.
Do you need your ego constantly massaging in order to maintain a level of happiness? Compliments are at their best when your not expecting them, not required as a staple part of getting through the day.
People having negative things to say isn’t a phenomena exclusively reserved for you either. We all have negative qualities, there’s no revelation there. I could pick any of my friends and ask them to name a negative quality i possess and they'd all be able to real one off straight away. You’re also choosing to ignore the positive and so effectively perpetuating your own unhappiness.
You are ultimately responsible for your own hapiness.
Well stop crying and have a think about it.
Without wanting to seem cold i could type "Don't worry everythings going to be fine" but it doesn't help anything. They're words of consolation from someone who has no idea what your problem is and who you don't know.
There must be a reason why you were crying, no matter how small or insignificant you may regard it to be. Whatever the reason it's bound to be linked to whatever the larger problem is and then inturn you can examine that and start to address the cause of the underlying unhappiness.
There's always a cause for a symptom and that's what you need to locate and address. I suspect you may already be partically aware at least of what the cause is.
Sometimes I think it's not unreasonable to be a little short about such things.
That's exactly what I think too.
All this *hugs you* is all well and good, but attention of this nature often just cements a person's behaviour and thought patterns, rather than challenging them to think about why they are upset. If people get sympathy all the time then it encourages them to perpetuate a certain behavioural pattern, rather than trying to do something about it.
Asking direct questions and making people think about what they are doing, rather than just milking sympathy, is often a better way of doing things. It does appear a bit cold at first glance, but a lot of people would benefit from thinking about why they are upset, rather than just blithely getting meaningless *hugs*.
Attention without critique just encourages manipulative behaviour IMHO- it certainly does with me.
The thing is though, you *are* responsible for your own happiness. Whether you have an illness or not.
You have to work out *why* you feel so upset all the time and once you get to the root of the problem you can then start to try and solve it.
I don't think it was a cruel remark at all. I think it was an honest remark. And sometimes it is honesty that is needed in regards to depression and self harm.
There is no point just sitting there, waiting for someone to say "awwww, it will all be better in the morning" or whatever over and over. Sometimes you need to hear the harsh reality of things too.
Sorry if this sounds harsh, but it is the truth.
if you just want sympathy, then no, you probably wouldn't welcome that kind of opinion.
but if you want support and guidance to actually get better, then cptcoathanger's point was valid, and very necessary.
On another note: I did a silly thing at work. I have a nice little blister on my stomach now. Feck.