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I have no idea what to say to you tbh.
I just don't think you can change it until you get more confidence in yourself. Chances are that at least some of the people you want to be good friends with feel the same way too. Just think, whats the worst that could happen? So what if you try and be friends with someone and they don't reciprocate it. Atleast you tried.
Anybody who doesn't want you as a friend is obviously an idiot with no taste in people.
I end up making an idiot out of myself because I try too hard, and then I fuck it up.
Is the worst that can happen. And has happened before.
it happens, and we learn from mistakes.
so what if you screw up? as long as you put it right..
i'll go away now, i'm not helping ;<
And I never put it right.
AND I'm sorry, but I just...blah I dunno. I don't know what would help. Other than a hug, and the Lewin, and my Olive.
Or you think you do, convince yourself that you do, and crash because of it. When, in reality, you've done no such thing.
You sound an awful lot like me. There isn't much to say to suggest how you can help yourself get out more. When one's confidence is so low its impossible to even pretend. I'm the same, I can pretend for a bit and then something happens- something small- and I bottle it and run away. I don't think "trying harder" can change that. I'm better after years of intensive therapy, but I still suffer from it a lot.
It sounds odd, but forcing yourself to do a job where you have to interact with people helps confidence. I used to be petrified of the telephone, so I went and got a job where I had to use the phone a lot to deal with business problems, and I'm getting better at it. I can deal with people very comfortably in a professional setting now, which is good considering that's what my job is now.
I can't deal with people personally though. I don't dare say much because I don't know how to do small talk and I always sound stupid. So of course people think I'm cold, distant and don't like them, so they don't talk to me more. And I don't like imposing myself on other people, I don't want to make them waste their time with me unless they do all the running, so I don't chase people up, ever. People always think I'm really serious in real life because I daredn't joke.
I have got quite good at pretending. But there's little things that if you know what you're looking for you can see. Things that make my insecurities come throught. Mostly the fact that if I have something in my hands, I'll always play with it, and if I don't, I'll sit and pick at my fingernails. I can rarely look someone in the eye when I'm talking to them, either. Which is baaaaaad.
I can do work stuff. Telephones probably not, but I can be friendly and helpful and look confident and like I know what I'm doing at work. I freeze up on the phone, unless I really have to ring someone. And even then I get nervous. I've been putting off calling my COUSIN ffs 'cause I'm scared to talk to her. How bad is that ;(?
I also have the fun task of having to do lots of oral presentations next year for college, so I guess that'll help me a bit. With those, though, I'm always scared of getting it wrong. And my mouth dries up and I can't talk properly and I go all shaky and it DOES go wrong.
I don't do small talk, either. I just...can't. It always fizzles off and never turns into proper conversation. Also: I can't talk to people I've just met/I find attractive (how shit) unless they talk to me first. I've got better at that, but I'm still not great at it. I go all red and shaky and blah.
People don't think I'm serious, though. They mostly think I'm a bitch. 'Cause I make really bitchy comments to everybody to stop them getting close to me.
I really do suck >.<.
of
it
.
Counselling for what seems to be a touch of agoraphobia, and could you try wearing clear retainers in the piercings?
Screw this. What's the fucking point?
I'm going to bed otherwise I'd chat but *hugs* anyway and I'll be online tomorrow if you need anything.
Stay strong. You too, Trinity.
Le blah.
Lies.
OK...never posted in here before but felt I had to after reading that. I don't know if it will make any difference franki but just wanted to tell you that I for one always make a point of reading your posts on these boards. It's partly because I know you almost always say something constructive, or intelligent, or funny, or helpful...but mainly it's because the very first time I ever posted here, in a total state of distress over my boyfriend, you were one of those to reply to me and help me feel better. I've never forgotten that. I really do value you because of that - you may think it was small and insignificant but to me it was a huge thing.
I hope you feel better, just wanted to let you know think you are anything but worthless and am very glad I came into contact with you.
You know that's not true. Do I have to dig out the msn logs? You are a fantastic person and the world is a much better place for you being in it.
Thank you. That actually made me smile as I read it
Well maybe there's one or two exceptions (:p), but generally I'm not all that important to people.
You know me too well. I'm a bit calmer now I think. I'm not in hysterics, which is a start.
wise and honest.
Personally, I'm getting in a mood because of some problems at work at the moment. I've contacted my manager who's put me on the late shift tomorrow evening. That's fine, I've done lots of late shifts before. But what's really getting to me is problems I'm having with one of my supervisors. There's also other stuff I'm trying to do like looking round for a course to do at university, (thousands to choose from, thousands too many for my liking) and there's looking for a new pad hundreds of miles away to work on. It's all getting to me. :mad:
You only want to because you can't.