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I recently cut quite badly over a scar that was already there and quite bad. Thing is, I'm going to Kenya in like a month and a bit, and I get the feeling this is gonna be one of those scars that will be really obvious for a long time. I need to know what I could use that will either hide it totally (like a waterproof foundation type thing) or make it almost disappear very quickly for when I go in the pool and things (I can't not, as they'd think it odd).
So yeh, any ideas?
It doesnt disguise big scars that well, hides some redness but not the actual scarred skin.
Ive got lines in my arm where the razor has gone, but its not a scar and i though cover up would fill in the lines but it doesnt even do that.
Best thing ive found is one of them wrist sweatband type of things. I got a black and pink one from claires accessories a while back and i got a pink studded bracelet thing for the other arm so it doesnt look to obvious.
Big, chunky bangles and cuffs and stuff are everywhere right now so maybe you could fine something that fits over the worst part and that can get wet?
I also find it helps to restricts me to only cutting one area of my arm.
Just thought, tacky, but temporary tattoos?? Stick on body jewellery??
I may have to fork out for that bio oil stuff then. Fun >.<
board shorts. :yes:
although you will get a silly suntan.
They have more in the argos additions catalogue but heres two that were on the website;
http://www.additionsdirect.co.uk/assets/Additions/XL/F/F9176CKS05.jpg
http://www.additionsdirect.co.uk/assets/Additions/XL/F/F9208AKS05.jpg
Hi Guys
I'm in a bit of a state again. There's only one thing that I can think about.
My family have always said that suicide is a sellfish act, its an easy way out and that it hurts t all the people that are left behind. I know this may seem hard, but its getting to the stage where I just dont care any more. There is nothing left in this life for me. Iv'e been like thi for so lng that I dont have any real friends anymore. I dont know anyone. I'm trapped in this shit holw with no where to go, noting to do, and no one to talk to. I'm a bisexual virgin that still lives at home with his mother and mentaly ill brother. I just want to lay down and die.
My mother suffers with depression so I can talk to her. I can tak to my older brother as he has so many worries of his own to deal with and he's attempted it b4 himself. my farther has know idea of what i am going through.
This might seem like the only person that I am thinking about is myself. but I think Im thinking of every one but myself. If I wasnt I wouldn't be here now.
I don't trust phycollogists so there no good to me. What ellse is there left to do?
some one please help me
IMO suicide is only selfish when the person hasn't tried everything but it. You don't seem like you have.
I know you must feel tired of trying, I know the feeling, but try to think of how your mum who already has depresion would cope with losing a child. not very well. I mean I could list the effects it might have on people but I bet you've heard it before.
If you write down your problems, hell make a list! And then you can often see the list is shorter than you expected it to be. The ones remaining will eithier ease pain wise with time (beaverament, abuse etc), be resolved as you get older and get more freedom (get to move out, leave school or wahtever your doing) or I bet you could work on them.
How old are you out of interest, you sound youngish to me. Well theres so much more of life for you to do , you really do have the potential to do almsot anything. Don't let the anything be lost to suicide.
couldn't agree more. it's shit.
yesterday mum goes "i've come to a conscious decision not to worry about your cutting anymore. it's obviously bad or you wouldn't be wearing winter pyjamas on the hottest day of the year." and then stormed off.
(i was being lazy in my pyjamas, but yes, i had to cover up the latest of my handiwork)
i can't win. if i wear short sleeves she gets all upset and also won't stop looking and looking horrified, then commenting on how i shouldn't wear short sleeves cos it upsets people. but then i wear long sleeves to make her happy and get told off for that too.
It's quite low down. Like down to about half way down my thigh. I bought some Vitamin C/zinc tablets the other day, but I go to Kenya in less than a month and there's no way in hell it's gonna clear up enough by then. I'll try those hotpant bikinis but I dunno if they'll be long enough. Hm.
On another note - my computer got taken away on Sunday (am at college atm). Because Jake (not meaning to) made my sister cry. And I've stopped being able to pretend to my mum that I'm ok and that I'm happy and she's just been on and on at me recently about how I'm stuck up in my room doing nothing all the time. I try and do stuff but I don't have the energy. Thing is, it feels like I can't do anything right anymore. I'm getting told off for sitting upstairs in my room all the time, but when I go downstairs I get told off for not having done anything. Plus the tension between my mum and my stepdad is so fucking obvious and I hate sitting there feeling like I can't say a word in case I get snapped at again. I get told off for staying at home all day, but then when I come into college I get told off because I'm supposed to be doing volunteer work etc. Also - when I go to college I'm getting told off because they think I'm using it as an excuse to be social, when two days ago I was being told off for putting my priorities onto my Internet friends and my life online, and that I should be going out more with my real friends.
I also got told yesterday that my sister feels inferior to me, because she was doing worse in college than me...er...hi, I dropped out. And I don't understand how she feels inferior to me when every single thing in her room is better than what I have. She gets a brand new laptop, I get a second-hand one that the battery runs out on within 10 minutes. She gets a TV...the original deal was that if she got a TV, I got a computer. But that went out the window too. And she has a fucking huge room and all kinds of new shit to go in it, and I'm just stuck in my fucking box bored out of my mind.
Apparently I have to go out with her more. Because I need to make a better relationship with her. Even though she irritates the fuck out of me because all she ever does when she comes in my room to "talk" to me is stand in front of my mirror and play with my fucking hair and say "Fran, can I straighten your hair tonight?". I don't want to go out with her because it is probable that she will bring her girly friends with her. And I like them, but I just CANNOT do that whole girly girly screaming pink thing. I'd rather just stay at home by myself because that's the kind of person I am. But no, I have to "meet her in the middle", the middle apparently being what she wants. Because I'm not allowed any privacy anymore. Great.
Fuck this. I'm ending up in tears almost every fucking night now. I feel so fucking low that I can't hide it from my mother any more, but I can't tell her because she'd get angry with me and that would just make things worse. The doctor hasn't said whether he's going to give me pills or not yet, and he hasn't told me if I'm going to be going back to counselling or not. I can't fucking deal with this much longer. I've been so tempted to just leave my house and never come back, but I'd have nowhere to go.
Fucking hell, I'm such a twat.
On the note of your sister, the whole standing in your room and trying to talk to you - my mother does that. She comes up, sits down, says "Talk to me then" and it feels so forced and false that I rarely know what to say or feel like she's there because she wants to be. And just walking in to my room , yes yes I have a flight of stairs and no door that leads directly into my room...but it means people just walk in regardless and it feels like I'm being invaded.
But you do have to escape your room sometime. I'm terrible for staying up there because I have the things that interest me all around me, and all myown personal things that I feel comfortable with there. After a while though, I reach the evening and just feel quite trapped and isolated, and it brings my mood down. The weathers gorgeous at the moment, just sitting outside could maybe help elevate your mood a little?
My older bro gets all the treats too - lent tons of money, £80 trainers which he gets through in a minute and mama buys him more. TV, new cars (yes cars, he's a twat with his vehicles) and just seems to exploit my parents. He has a go at me for being the brightone and my parents say I'm more independant than him and so in affect he tends to need the more...bleeding them dry and getting all he wants is obviously what that means! I don't know why it works like that, my ex used to have the same thing with his brother and I know a few others like it...you just have to remember...that it's not your fault she's not doing well. If your doing better...than you're earning that - and you should acknowledged for the good way in which you work, and appose to being made to feel guilty because she's not working as hard? Is there anyway you can tell your mama so it hits home, that being around the friction between her and your stepdad makes it uncomfortable to be around them. That you should be made to feel in the wrong because your sisters not doing as well as you, and that she seems to get the better end of any deal?
All I can offer now - but you're not a twat Franki, you're a lovely person and you're going through a rough time of it
*hug*
Malt x
I dunno. I guess I just need to talk to her, but I don't know how. She's always busy etc. and because my stepdad's such a miserable cunt it's stressing her out.
I just can't do it.
you know where i am sweety. you've done good things this week x x x
Go back next week.
I missed quite a few therapy sessions in my time because I didn't feel up to it.
Was fucking scary telling her though.
Life seems to be getting even more fucked up!
David I'm glad its not just me. I feel so silly today but yesterday I just couldn't bare the thought of doing it. It's so tough. But worth it I reckon.
So fuck them. I'm not even gonna bother anymore. I give up.
And now I'm sat here in the library at college almost in tears because this is never gonna get better. Never never never never never never never never never. It's just going to be stalemate forever. I'm sorry kiddies, I failed you. And now I give up trying to help myself. It's pointless.
And I miss the Olive.
Franki