Depression and Self-Harming - Please read

Former Member

I've spent ages deleting pages of sniping to try and clear up this thread for people who need it to use. I haven't got time to do any more now. Can you please not feed the trolls in future. Just report to mods and if you can't respect each other stay quiet.

Take care all

Thanks

Susie x

Former Member

Susie wrote:

I've spent ages deleting pages of sniping to try and clear up this thread for people who need it to use. I haven't got time to do any more now. Can you please not feed the trolls in future. Just report to mods and if you can't respect each other stay quiet.

Take care all

Thanks

Susie x

Sorry Susie .

Former Member

this thread is all shitty

erm, yes.

did it again.

it looks and feels horrible, but then i knew it would at the time. and now i have to cover myself up. again. just as i was healing.

meh.

Former Member

i hate slipping back. My whole life seems to become one big distorted mess when i slip back into depression. i suppose, well according to the nurse at the local surgery, and my connextions PA i'm ment to be doing very well, well tbh feeling sucidal for me doesn't count as doing well. Ok, no i'm not going to act upon my feelings because i have too much to loose this time around. But i'm not getting help, people arn't believing what i'm saying and i feel like i'm slowly slipping away from everyone. I suppose only having 2 friends in the country doesn't help. I feel so isolated from society, i suppose i am a reject, i just don't seem to be getting any closer to where i want to be. i know, i'm totaly impacient, but i'm willing to work for this, but i don't want to fight for it anymore, i'm fed up of running, hidding, and fighting, why can't i just be me and be happy with trivial things to worry about, not huge things that just pull me down.

*sigh*

Former Member

Luby, I'm PMing you my number. If you need to talk or anything, you ring it, ok?

Former Member

im such a cunt:banghead:

Former Member

It's not been too bad recently. I felt rather depressed last night. I was doing the late shift at work and had no way of getting home. In my mental state, I ended up walking around three miles of rural road surrounded by trees, with only a little moonlight to help me. God only knows how I wasn't hit by a car in the process. I pulled to the side at one point and started crying. I had been thinking about various things. Having my heart broken a few months back, just feeling a little lonely, and one or two other issues on my mind. Haven't cut for several weeks, which seems good.

As for you girl_gunner, you have my number if you want to talk. I'd never say you're a cunt.

Former Member

girl_gunner wrote:

im such a cunt :banghead:

no kirst you are lovely, come and tell me what's wrong x x

Former Member

hugs to girl gunner and stargalaxy and anyone else feeling low too

Former Member

Rainbow Phoenix wrote:

hugs to girl gunner and stargalaxy and anyone else feeling low too

Same from me.

Former Member

I'm going to the doctors. In like 10 minutes.

I feel sick.

What am I gonna say oh shit ohhhhhh shit I dunno if I can do this now .

Former Member

Be strong babe - you're doing the right thing - I hope it helps to go to the doc for you - hope it's all gone well xxx

Dr Pirate

Hope the doctors can sort me out aswell ;(

Former Member

Dr Pirate wrote:

Hope the doctors can sort me out aswell ;(

They will, dude. Just be honest with them, ok?

And you know where I am if you need me x

Former Member

i woke up today feeling so shite. i wasn't feeling great mentaly last night but thts due to other stuff. I honestly feel like i'm dying today, and i really can't cope any longer. i find it amazing how quickly i fall back into depression, and how far down i go each time. it's almost as though i push the boundries of how far i can actually go before i do give up intotal and actually die. I got the report of my looked after children review meeting, and i felt so sick. i can't believe thats what people actually think of me...and so much has been left out.
I'm really starting to miss my mum, but not the person she is now, i don't want to know her, the person she was 5 years ago. i really really want someone to just come and pick me up and try and make it all better, because i feel like i'm just consitantly fucking everything up and myself in the meantime. I know if i'd stayed in spain, i'd be dead or sectioned by now, either of which i don't like the thought of. And i don't know of anyone i can talk to that won't either have to tell my social worker what i've said or will get upset because they are some how emotionally attached to me. I'm jsut being a big burden on everyone.

Former Member

I want to do bad things.

I've been crying for two hours. Two. Fucking. Hours.

All because I saw someone I wasn't expecting to see twice in one day and all the pain and hurt and hate came flooding back. I cried in front of my mother and she told me off because I'm supposed to be over it by now. She's right. Of course she's right.

I'm shit. I want to do bad. But it would hurt people. I need someone to calm me down, but the people that calm me down aren't around. Fuck. I need sharp.

Former Member

*hugs*

Former Member

hugs franki

Former Member

Counselling's giving me far too much to think about. :banghead:

Former Member

*love for kirsty and franki*

here for both of you any time x x x x

Former Member

I used to self harm from which I have scars. I also have scars from a climbing accident, and operations. I hate people seeing them because they judge you.

I dont know why I self harmed. Looking back there was no real reason too. There was nothing really wrong in my life. But now I accept that it was something I did in the past and will never go back to again.

Former Member

feel like a failure

I just gave in and cut and I promised my boyfriend I wouldn't

why I am so weak

Former Member

Fallen_Angel wrote:

Sorry but i just really needed to get this outta my system, i feel like im really close to cutting again, and im trying really hard not to fall back into my old pattern of cutting everyday, even though i have for the last few days. For some reason all of this seems to be steming from my next appointment with the counsellor, mainly because she seems to think im making it up, and that im just being attention seeking, and that im not really depressed and that im just being a drain on the nhs, and although she hasn't said anything like this, its little things shes said that have sort of added up to give me this impression, such as belittling everything i say to make it seem insignificant, and stupid, like im being some petty little school girl who only cuts to be seen as an indivdual and all this kinda shit.

I dont really know what i hoped to acheive with this, i just sorta needed to get this outta my system

Sorry if i'm being stupid

*Hugs*

Your not being stupid. Your not a petty little school girl.

Your counsellor shouldn't make you feel like this.

Former Member

Hun you have to say something to someone coz that is totally not on at all. Personally I'd tell her to fuck off. You dont need her judgemental twuntness around you. It reminds me of the doctor I saw who laughed when I told him I'd been self harming for 3 years.*hugest hugs*

Former Member

You're not being stupid.

Is there any way you can get a different counsellor? Because it sounds as if that one isn't exactly doing her job properly and making you feel worse not better....

{hug}

Former Member

I'd been seriously self harming for about a year and I never thought I would have a problem becuase P.E was not compulsary from 5th year upwards and since I had been cutting the tops of my leggs I never had a problem because not many people would notice, until this year. This year my school has introduced one periond of P.E a week in the senior timetable, the only problem is I have loads of cuts and scars on my legs and the changing rooms are comunal so people might notice my legs. What can I do?????? i've already given a fake note to get out of it and I cant do that again.

Former Member

If any of the PE teachersa re approachable go to them adn say you have some scarring on your legs and you'd feel more comfortable wearing tracksuit bottoms. You don't need to explain anything.

Former Member

I think she meant in the changing rooms, how she was gonna avoid them seeing it when she was getting changed.

I honestly don't know the answer to that one though...mih. Sorry .

Former Member

is there anyway you could change in toilets or anything?

Former Member

malteser monkay wrote:

is there anyway you could change in toilets or anything?

thats what i always used to do.