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If you haven't found anything as yet, Dermablend is supposed to be very good for covering scars - the makeup is waterproof and it only comes off with their makeup remover - you can get it specifically for the body as well as the face
its pretty pricey though - think you can also get it on QVC
a woman who advocates it has a huge strawberry birthmark on her face and once she has put it on, you'd think she had really great skin.
http://www.boots.com/newsearch/search.jsp?searchArea=1&searchQuery=dermablend&uri=%2Fhome.jsp&classificationId=&contentId=&articleId=
Franki, that's what doctors can be like. If you didn't like that one then go and see another one. The GP I saw was brilliant, but I was a couple of years older, and that does make a difference as to the "seriousness".
personally I think there is something to be said that a lot of depressed teens are teen-angsting. I don't mean that disparagingly, unlike the usual way it is meant, but the hormones do tend to make problems bigger, and make mood more unstable. With hormones raging everything does end up looking like life or death, and it time it won't do. Hormones do magnify problems, when I'm tired I end up feeling awful and crying, but after a sleep I'm fine again.
The trouble is that doctors see a young teen and think she is angsting. She probably is, but there have to be problems to angst about, and a lot of doctors seem to forget that. I find the comments about "little scratches" to be very unprofessional, but that's what you get with a lot of male doctors, who know everything and never listen to anything.
You'll be right.
Thing is, I KNOW they aren't that bad. I KNOW it probably won't scar forever. I know all that from past experience. Him saying that made me feel about so big > <.
I thought he was a really good doctor. He seemed to be really understanding etc. And then he met my mum and the way she says stuff makes me out to be just an overreacting teen-angster, and it's really difficult to argue with her, especially when you're me.
And I hated how I was sitting there disagreeing with her and getting so angry with it all inside my head but because I'm so weak I couldn't say ANYTHING, so I just sat there looking at my hands and picking at my fingernails for half an hour. Blah I'm shit.
what did you want?
another thing to remember is that they're doctors, so what seem like awful wounds to you, to them, when they've just seen someone with half their arm missing, they probably are little scratches. some doctors were not blessed with the tact gene.
but so what if they are little scratches? why does that upset you? when i was self harming, i never did huge open gashes. does little = not as ill to you? and why does that bother you?
let me give you another hard won life lesson: with things like this, it's not a case of going to the doctor and immediately feeling better. you won't. every time, for a while, you'll feel let down, like there was more they could have done. like there was something you wanted to hear that you didn't. that isn't the way this works.
only you will make your situation better. i know i say it all the time, but that's cause it's true. until your attitude to the whole deal changes (and that's not meant in any insulting way - i just know the deal, cause i've been there) you and your situation will not change.
I don't honestly know. Just not this. I don't like feeling stupid like this.
I know that. That's why I went to the doctor, to try and help myself. I've tried, but meh. I dunno.
I'll try harder, I guess. Just not with my mum involved. That never helps me.
I understand what you mean though. Many, many times ive been to my doctor, just wanting something-anything, help, and come away feeling let down, same goes for my therapy appointments too. But try not to let it put you off, keep persevering with it. Ive not always agreed with my doctor, but i like her, she likes me and i trust her to help me in the best way she thinks right- and thats ok with me. It might be naieve of me to rely on her/them, but ive learned that the mental health services arent what you'd expect and you just have to make the best out of what you can get.
I'm leaving for a bit. Til after V, probably.
Bye kids.
We all have slip-ups mate, the important thing is not to give up.
Anyway, I've had some strange moments lately. The week started off okay. On Tuesday night however, I had a dream that freaked me out. It brought back some old memories. It was of the person I met up with in London. When she cut all contact with me, at first I felt I couldn't go on without her. Those memories came back. I don't know how on earth a relationship with someone I'd only met in real life just once ended up having such influence over me. I've been thinking of trying suicide again, but talking to another member of this site has persuaded me to think again.
Hi
I really feel at the moment like I'm getting out of control. I'm off work at the moment and am struggling with the emotional roller coaster of depression. I realised a while ago that I felt like I was being bullied at work and this has opened up memories or being bullied in childhood (which could explain why I'm terrified of work). I've always tried to be a 'safe' self harmer (using a clean blade and no cutting in danger spots). At the moment we have nothing 'safe' in the house I could use which has been acting as a deterrant. Last night I went to the cinema and saw my boss (she didn't see me) and then saw a senior member of staff who helped make my working day hell (I'm sure she looked right at me). All through the film I kept loosing concentration and feeling panicy. When we got home I went and got a razor (that had already been used) and started drawing it across my wrists. It was blunt so I got very frustrated it wasn't doing anything and started using a sawing motion (something else I never usually do). I got really upset and started crying, my fiance heard me and came in and hugged me for ages, he was trying to get me to focus on his eyes but I couldnt.
The part that really scared me was the thoughts that went through my head whilst I was doing it. I was thinking 'If I can cut deep enough Paul will rescue me and then people will realise exactly what I'm going through and it will be proof to work I'm not faking it' which looking back is a really stupid thing to think.
I've never done anything like that before and I dont fully understand why I did what I did.
Thanks for reading I just had to offload.
Phoenix
a. you need to leave that job.
b. sue the arse off them for unfair dismissal.
c. go to the doctor and pester them for a talking therapy of some description.
are you sleeping badly kirsty?
then it went after i left primary school but came back last october when my bf dumped me, it wasnt so much voices but i got suicidal again cause my parents were on the verge of splitting up too so everything was spiraling out of control....
then that all went around december...
then it came back about april when these anxiety problems started.....i seem to get over it for a while but then it'll come back.....its so annoying
i can remember doing it once. my step mom was being an absolute terror and my dad wasn't sticking up for me. so i spent, like, 2 hours trying to cut an 'x' in my wrist with a thumbtack. it made me scared, and i felt really dumb afterwards, like "how am i gonna explain this when someone sees it?" that was in junior high, no one saw it i guess. maybe i wish they did?
Why have you stopped taking your meds?
you don't need me to tell you a highly plausible reason for your problem, then.
did you talk about it with your counsellor the other day?
picc, when i feel all fat and as if i've over eaten and want to purge, i look at it the other way round... i've eaten well today so i don't have to worry about eating anything else for a while.
why might you lose your job angel?
i managed 24 days this time. then it got to the point where i was having urges so much i started dreaming them. so i did it. but i didn't do it "properly" and now i feel like i need to do it again.
And Xapis, me too. 28 days but otherwise the same.
sorry to hear you're in the same position as me, it's definitely not a great place to be.
And the whole thing with Lewin is upsetting me too. He's so wonderful, and I hate it. I love him so much, and the fact that he's so far away and he's SO unavailable just makes me die inside sometimes. But I keep saying stuff that would make him say something so that I can explain things, but then chickening out because I don't want to fuck up my friendship with him. He's the best friend I've ever had, but the more I talk to him, the more I fall in love with him. And everyone, EVERYONE who I've told that I'm going to stay with him has said "doesn't he have a girlfriend?" like there's something going on, and that kinda upsets me too. 'Cause it makes me feel shite for feeling how I do about him, and I feel like I'm going behind his girlfriend's back, even though she knows I'm staying.
I've told him the basics of how I feel, but I can't tell him that when he sits there with his webcam on and no shirt on, I just want to jump on him and do dirty things to him, and that it almost makes me cry because he's soooooo fine. Le sigh. I don't want to say how I feel to him, because it won't change anything, and I won't get what I want from him. *sigh*.
I don't know what I want anymore. I can't tell him. I'm too scared. Fuck. I suck.
And I've had a headache on and off since Tuesday. Fun fun fun. I just feel shite. Again.
Sorry for the rant.
EDIT: well done, Kate, for the promotion
This isn't gonna work. I'll just keep thinking about it. Over and over til I find hidden meanings that aren't there.
Fuck.
you know where i am x
Just keep trying mate. You might fall off the wagon, but the worst thing you can do is lie in the dust.
So you almost did. You didn't, that's what matters. Being very close to cutting and not is really good. I wish I could do that
Also note: friends who say that are not real friend imo.