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yes it would. Although a counseller would probably advise going to the gp. If it is manic depression (quite an assumption), its rarely treated by talking therapies alone, medication is required most of the time.
cheap and nasty ones.
sigh.
You know where I am, ok? Take care of yourself.
Love you
Ditto to that.
I wish I was closer for you!
Don't buy them.
i had thought of that myself, believe it or not.
Such is life.
Cheap ones are rubbish anyway. They scar far more, as they're all blunt.
And you *can't* buy dirty blades :rolleyes:
But this morning, I was getting ready to trek to uni, and I watched a programme on Channel 4 - 'The Cutting Club'...it was very graphic to say the least. I found it quite provoking and felt the urge surging through my arms as I watched. It showed blood, blades, the cutters in detail going over their marks and such and showing the interviewers the blades hidden in their rooms, or the ways in which they treat their wounds. They attempted to express the way cutting made them feel, and the parents also got involved. There was also a video diary with one girl. Her parents knew of her cutting and had promised not to remove her blades...then her dad who said "I thought it was a good idea to be honest" removed the lot from her room and she was a shrivelled panicking wreck on the floor, talking to the camera, and I just saw how I used to be.
I just wanted to know if anyone else had seen it. I was surprised, it was about 10am it came on and it was very provoking, which I found odd just because on creating the programme did they not think that the material would be triggering - though of course, I didn't have to watch. The programme later looked at a site, dedicated to helping self-harmers and how it helped those involved in the programme for when they needed someone to talk to.
So this brings me back round to you guys and how your support has helped me through a number of bad patches. Self-harm has been on my mind a lot recently as I've been stressed out, split up with my boyfriend, been poorly and don't feel as strong as I did. A lot of my past 'issues' have been lingering back and I'm terrified on returning home and the prospect of seeing my ex, just incase I should 'want him back' and find myself panicking about the way I feel and being incapable of escaping the way I feel and being stuck at home.
thanks.
and yes, i know i am "daft," thank you. this probably wasn't the best time for you to point the fact out, but thanks anyway.
I need hugs
omg le franki where is the chicken?!?!
Try not to ruin it now, try and distract yourself with something else.
*hug*
And blah. Distracting myself never works. I need to talk to Lewin but he's not around. I need to talk to Andy, but he's not around either. No offence to anyone else, but those are the only people who can distract me. ARGH. Selfhateselfhateselfhate.
You have my phone number for when I'm not online.
Monday 21st at 10.20am
It's on during the schools time on C4 as it's a programme for PHSE lessons.
There's a lot of talk about it on the site it's focused on if anyone wants to know more about it.
Ive never been a person who was unable to fix things for himself, and whenever I wanted something bad enough, I always got it. But I grew up, got to my 20's and kinda gave all that up...
All it took was the end of a serious relationship and a new addiction to heavier drugs. Smoking pot, always brought on a bit of marijuana induced skitzofrenia, since I was 15, all ive ever needed to do to stop this, was stop smoking for a month or so. But when you start doing Speed, XTC, LSD, or other things, you may see it as a new found fun and happiness in life. But i have learnt...
"You cannot be this happy without ever paying back for it in depression"
This quote has been all to true to me as I am recovering from a slightly heavy pill addiction. After breaking up with a long term relationship with a girl I loved to die for, XTC found to be my exit to happiness. I did it every Thursday, Friday, Saturday of every weekend for a good 9 months, and not only did I end up scaring myself, I lost litterally everyone who I now want to look up to. All I have left is handfull of friends and users or not, they can all see there is something wrong in my head. Ive been off the stuff for 2 months and although I am feeling 100% better, there is littlerally a whole new circle of friends for me to re-establish.
All Im saying people, is i researched about depression, I looked up my dreams and what are their meanings. I refuse to take anti-depressants, so I followed the five easy steps to recover from mild depression. But no matter how happy I am with myself for doing the right thing, I still sit all alone on weekends because people can see I've changed from who I used to be. Regaining confidence will be even harder because Ive got nothing to talk about but how much Ive fucked up over the year.
I will get there because Im strong and whenever I want something, I will get it. But god, there is a long road ahead of me, and I missing out on the best years of my life. Just saying... Ive I could go back I would, but I cant so Ill just keep going forwards.
If anything I try to hide the fact Im a mental mess, I hate it when people work me out. So self harm wouldnt work for me, everyone would be right on to me.
Yes, thanks for that.
I am talking from experience, you know.
You can buy no blades, and keep using the same ones over and over again.
It's better to have clean blades than not. It's better to cut safely than use old and dirty blades.
I hope you feel better Janey.
The thing is that people don't stop cutting until they realise that the coping mechanism doesn't work.
I wish I'd seen that TV programme.
There are no easy steps to getting over depression. It's hard work.
I know:)
I don't have a video that works properly (it doesn't record from the TV) and I'm at work then:(
I don't know if I've ever recovered, but I'll swing. I'll be the happiest person, absoutly nothing wrong in the world for months at a time. Then I'll get horribly depressed just out of the blue. Sometimes for weeks, sometimes for months also.
Only one person knows how just fucked-up I feel, there is no way I can tell my parents. I'am determined to get through this with a lot of support, I've spent that last 4/5 years (my late teens) suffering from this I really do want to get better.
but yeah, things life-wise are going quite well.
so we would think i'd be ok.
but no.
i'm sorry to everyone i've been a bitch to. i am honestly really sorry.
love to all.