Depression and Self-Harming - Please read

Former Member

The longer you go without, the easier it is. I haven't cut for nearly three years snow, it gets easier every day.

Thinking about it makes it harder, y'know. It's always on your mind if you always say "I can't, I shouldn't...", and so you are more likely to relapse.#

Just keep trying. One time you'll sit up one day and realise it's been six months since you last cut.

Former Member

Kermit wrote:

The longer you go without, the easier it is. I haven't cut for nearly three years snow, it gets easier every day.

Thinking about it makes it harder, y'know. It's always on your mind if you always say "I can't, I shouldn't...", and so you are more likely to relapse.#

Just keep trying. One time you'll sit up one day and realise it's been six months since you last cut.

Yeh...I know. I know that when I'm upset or angry but I have loads of stuff to do, it just goes back to the back of my head to be thought about at a later date, and I don't do it. But then when I just sit on my bed or something and I start thinking about it, it doesn't go away.

It was 4 months last time...I was rather proud of myself :cool:...*thinks positive thoughts*

Former Member

What is it about depression? It's bloody immovable at the moment. I started my job as part-time in an office today. Finally, I've managed to do something constructive. Yet, I've still got voices in my head telling me I'm a spectacular failure as a human being and that I deserve to die. Why do they keep doing this? :crying:

littlemissy

.

Former Member

*x*franki chicken*x* wrote:

It was 4 months last time...I was rather proud of myself :cool:...*thinks positive thoughts*

:yes: Thats exactly how to view it Franki. Everytime you go a week, a month, a few months, or even a year! Thats that amount of time without harming yourself. You find yourself eventually one day thinking oh my, I haven't done that in so long. And then you feel so proud of yourself:) It's a great feeling. Never view it as failing, as long as you try and you do go without doing it. Your winning.:)

Former Member

stargalaxy wrote:

What is it about depression? It's bloody immovable at the moment. I started my job as part-time in an office today. Finally, I've managed to do something constructive. Yet, I've still got voices in my head telling me I'm a spectacular failure as a human being and that I deserve to die. Why do they keep doing this? :crying:

its just your inner demons fucking with you...thing is...its your creation so naturally what you create you can also destroy...try finding a way of convincing yourself you're not a failure...you may have made mistakes but so does everyone in life and theres plenty of time to be a sucess...this job sounds like a step in the right direction...start thinking of what can be and not dwell as much on what was.

Former Member

turlough wrote:

its just your inner demons fucking with you...thing is...its your creation so naturally what you create you can also destroy...try finding a way of convincing yourself you're not a failure...you may have made mistakes but so does everyone in life and theres plenty of time to be a sucess...this job sounds like a step in the right direction...start thinking of what can be and not dwell as much on what was.

There isn't much point in me saying anything, because I'm feeling suicidal right now. But I know you're right. :crying:

Former Member

things kicked off a bit today at school. was twenty minutes late to my first lesson. i felt so bad this morning i woke up and just wanted to cry. 'cept I seem to be having some sort of crying block. Then I said to my form tutor that if my re-sit results were bad I might aswell just drop out and she just said yes I think that would be the best idea. I'm so so so so shit.

Former Member

Girl_gunner wrote:

things kicked off a bit today at school. was twenty minutes late to my first lesson. i felt so bad this morning i woke up and just wanted to cry. Then I said to my form tutor that if my re-sit results were bad I might aswell just drop out and she just said yes I think that would be the best idea. I'm so so so so shit.

My form tutor said that to me at one time. A side of me wanted to prove her wrong. I gave in and did as she advised however - I still regret it to this day. Not sure what else to say here, if you wanna talk more, I'm on PM.

Former Member

Thanks hun. I might do in a bit.xXx

Former Member

Girl_gunner wrote:

Thanks hun. I might do in a bit.xXx

OK. In the meantime, *huge hugs*

Former Member

The inner demons are making a bigger effort than normal tonight to mess me around. I hate them so much, they make life nearly impossible to carry on with. I just feel like such a failure all the time. Still so confused about being told I have agitated depression and quite nasty mood swings. One minute, I feel euphoric, the next I'm in total despair. I'm so scared.

Former Member

sometimes i stress myself out worrying and wondering why im like this. Why i feel this way, why i feel that way, why i just thought that, why i did this. it does you no good. forget what label they stuck on you and try deal with how your feeling right now.
im with ya on the suicidal feeling though. its so shit.

Former Member

Labels are largely meaningless unless they specifically state an illness, rather than just a variant of a depression. I was told I had BPD and that helped a lot, it helped me make sense of what I was seeing and feeling, but the difference between "chronic" and "agitated", or whatever, is largely semantic in many cases I believe.

Ignore labels and concentrate on what you feel and how you are interacting. How are your workmates?

Former Member

Kermit wrote:

Ignore labels and concentrate on what you feel and how you are interacting. How are your workmates?

I think nothing much of them, to be honest. We tend to keep our distance - I get on with my work, they get on with theirs.

Former Member

Today I got a letter from the counselling palce I contacted. They're gonna assess me in a few weeks and then assign me to an individual counsellor whom I'll start seeing more often. Am chuffed tbh. I thought I wasn't gonna hear anything as it's been almost 2 weeks since I emailed them.Yeh, postiveness.

Former Member

Girl_gunner wrote:

Today I got a letter from the counselling palce I contacted. They're gonna assess me in a few weeks and then assign me to an individual counsellor whom I'll start seeing more often. Am chuffed tbh. I thought I wasn't gonna hear anything as it's been almost 2 weeks since I emailed them.

That's excellent news. Please keep us updated on how you get on.

Former Member

Girl_gunner wrote:

Today I got a letter from the counselling palce I contacted. They're gonna assess me in a few weeks and then assign me to an individual counsellor whom I'll start seeing more often. Am chuffed tbh. I thought I wasn't gonna hear anything as it's been almost 2 weeks since I emailed them.Yeh, postiveness.

:thumb:

Great news.

littlemissy

Girl_gunner wrote:

Today I got a letter from the counselling palce I contacted. They're gonna assess me in a few weeks and then assign me to an individual counsellor whom I'll start seeing more often. Am chuffed tbh. I thought I wasn't gonna hear anything as it's been almost 2 weeks since I emailed them.Yeh, postiveness.

Well done Kirsty. I'm proud of you

Former Member

Girl_gunner wrote:

Today I got a letter from the counselling palce I contacted. They're gonna assess me in a few weeks and then assign me to an individual counsellor whom I'll start seeing more often. Am chuffed tbh. I thought I wasn't gonna hear anything as it's been almost 2 weeks since I emailed them.Yeh, postiveness.

That's brilliant.

Don't be expecting to see anyone for a bit after the assessment, though. I don't want to piss on your parade, but waiting lists can be very long.

Former Member

Kermit wrote:

That's brilliant.

Don't be expecting to see anyone for a bit after the assessment, though. I don't want to piss on your parade, but waiting lists can be very long.

lol yeh it does say on the letter that at the moment there's approx a 3 week waiting list but I won't hold them to that;) am seeing my doctor again next week and have finally battered my teachers and school into understanding and they've granted me extensions on coursework. its only internal ones but its something

Former Member

A three-week wait for an assessment, or to see a regular therapist?

Former Member

the letter says

" In a couple of weeks you will be invited to an informal meeting with our Counselling co-ordinator. At this meeting meeting they will discuss your needs so we can palce you with a suitable counsellor. The meeting should take approx 45 mins.

Once you have been assessed you will go onto our waiting list. If you do not attend this meeting you will be taken off our list. At the moment there is approx a 3 week wait depending on the times you are available for counselling"

Former Member

it depends what kind of therapy you need. if it's a talking therapy, or occupational therapy, you tend to be seen a lot quicker than if you're waiting for CBT. i was given an occupation therapy slot within 7 days of being assessed (was pretty high risk back then though) but have waited 18 months for CBT. and then 7 months this last time.

and it also depends on the area you're in. some areas just have more people to see.


eta: for the CBT i was waiting to see a therapist who specialised in phobias and panic, so was waiting a little longer than if i'd have been able to see any tom dick or harry.

Former Member

Kaff it's just the normal local counselling place at the moment, the ball has just started rolling. lol. thanks for the info tho, i will keep that in mind so i dont get para about appointments and stuff

Former Member

*gone*

Former Member

I think that what's happening is that you're facing the feelings that you were masking before.

Did you ever go to your GP? Because you're still entitled to go and ask for help even if you're no longer self-harming, you know. If you haven't I'd suggest you go and ask for a referral to a counsellor because it's definitely important to help you "stay clean" so to speak.

Good luck - and congrats with what you've achieved!

Former Member

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JsT

Gavman wrote:

ergh, whats going on recently ive been takien to A + E twice in the past week fs i i keep getting refered to other people but no one understands ergh!!!!!!! now i have these people who come to see me everyday fs why cant they all just leave me alone

ergh sorry just needed to rant! (oh but while i'm here can i ask anyone what does fluoxetine contain and what are the side effects of it?)

Fluoooxetinneee

I hope things pick up for you soon Gav

Former Member

Gavman wrote:

ergh, whats going on recently ive been takien to A + E twice in the past week fs i i keep getting refered to other people but no one understands ergh!!!!!!! now i have these people who come to see me everyday fs why cant they all just leave me alone

ergh sorry just needed to rant! (oh but while i'm here can i ask anyone what does fluoxetine contain and what are the side effects of it?)

Gav you know you can always ring me if you need me right? No matter what time.

And I didn't get any side effects from Fluoxetine...but I'm sure there are some...