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Depression and Self-Harming - Please read

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    awww soerry to hear you are so down

    try and enjoy your friends

    let us know how it went after


    On the way home the train was awful i saw at least 3 spies monitoring me.
    I'm so low i couldn't even bring myself to get out of bed today. Dont know what to do :(
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    *sigh*

    Will it ever get any better?

    For the last 6 months, I've been stuck in the house due to hip dysplasia. I can't walk too far without it draining me. A year ago I could do 3 miles easy and not even break a sweat. Its bad because I can't go out looking for work or anything. I'm taking out employment support allowance but the job centre have not stopped hounding me since I took out the claim. 4 times I've had to say what was wrong and yet they STILL keep asking. I know that they are trying to crack down on benefit cheats and and all that but there is something wrong with me. I'm really not trying to cheat them.

    my dad and sister are getting fed up with me. Since the end of uni I have been voicing my dislike for the situation. My dad just say's "It'll get better" and my sister is just saying deal with it. The thing is, thats a blind fact and that just makes me worry all the more. All this stuff about degrees are slowly becoming worthless makes me feel like I wasted my time, that all that hard work and the difficulty I had getting to uni was for nothing. (dunno what the big deal is because I still don't know what I want to do)

    I'm also struggling to come to terms with the uni life being over. I don't really have any friends, the uni ones are too busy now and I can't get out much. I also miss the girl (or should I say lady) I was chatting to during the year, I did really like her and asked her if we could stay in touch but she said she couldn't promise anything. Been a while since I've spoke to her so I guess that speaks for itself. I just don't understand why its so hard for me to come to terms with the fact I won't see her again.

    I realise this probably sounds way too self centered. I just wanted to get it off my chest. Sorry if its triggering to anyone.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hey johnny, sorry to hear you're feeling down :( i can relate a little to uni being over. i've found it really frustrating trying to organise to see my uni friends because they are all so busy. we've had to organise a meet up for the three of us a month in advance. is it possible to reconnect with people back home? even if it's someone you feel you may not have a lot in common with, try it. if you accept invitations and seem more forthcoming with the old mates there is still the chance to meet new ones too. i hope i dont sound like im preaching at you. i'm in the same position myself. plus i read a magazine article today and it said that this is the way forward :P

    try not to take the job centre's cock-ups personally. it's obvious you aren't lying and that you really can't work right now. it's their incompetancy, not yours.

    the job market is rough right now, but i dont think uni is a waste, not if you enjoyed your course, had new experiences and made new friends. as for jobs- job titles are over-rated. not a lot of people can specify exactly what they want to do. it's just good to have a few ideas mulling around in your head. i got reccomended this website by a connexions advisor the other week, http://www.connexions-direct.com/jobs4u/
    if you have even the vaguest idea you'd like to be something like a 'teacher' for example. it tells you in detail about what the job entails and then the useful part, to the right hand side of the screen is a list of related jobs that perhaps you haven't thought about or even considered.

    it's difficult to know what to do about your sister and dad but maybe you could ask for suggestions or ideas from them? not in a sarcastic way or anything but it might keep the conversation going if you do this, otherwise they may just feel that you're stuck in a rut and have no idea how to give you a hand.

    i hope you're alright johnny :) chin up
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    *hug*

    Have you heard any more from the hospital about getting your hip problems sorted? If not go to your GP and see if they can chase up a refferal and/or give you a proper pain management refferal in the mean time if you havent had one.

    I know the job situation sucks. The Job centre are useless.

    I agree with Clementine about the uni/looking at careers bit.

    Rejection hurts, a lot. You need to give yourself some time to get over it. You need to keep talking to your dad/sister/someone about what your feeling and why, it you internalise it it doesnt help in the long run.

    You know where I am if you need to chat further. :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    On the way home the train was awful i saw at least 3 spies monitoring me.
    I'm so low i couldn't even bring myself to get out of bed today. Dont know what to do :(



    hey

    :heart:

    sorry i didon't see this sooner.

    i got the email that you replied (as i'm on instant notifications) for topics that interest me.

    :yes:

    anyway, what i was going to say is that if you do have those days where you can't get out of bed and stuff, it is okay.

    :heart:

    sometimes, things will have to wait. there is a breaking point, and too often people push themselves too far. there is plenty of example of that in my journal.

    :heart:

    so i'm just saying on those days you really don't feel like anything, just put what ever you are doing on hold.

    your emotions are much more important and i would hate to see you overworked.

    take care and i'll write more soon

    *hug*
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    good luck with the hospital.

    they keep you waiting for ages, and ages, and ages. at least that's my experience of my local one.

    :mad:

    but hope they can sort something out soon
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    AuroraAurora Posts: 11,722 An Original Mixlorian
    RE: Self Harm.

    I'm feeling very low today; I feel as though I hate everything, includeing everything around me. I am feeling so low stressing over to much work and I have so mucch on my mind it is killing me :( I have always thought about ending my life but I'm the positive sort of person so I wouldn't actually attemp anything. When ever I feel very low I would cut myself that may be after a arguement with my boy friend or a fight or even to much work I just want some weight lifted of my shoulder's I hate feeling like this it's
    1. to hard
    2. stressing
    3. tireing
    I am unable to sleep because of everything that going on in life I had the police knocking on my door yesterday my mum dad startedyelling at me I felt like screeming but I started crying then they went out I sat and cried, why am I so bad :crying: I just wish my life would be more simple my arms hurt I'm in pain and just do not understand what to do :( Tell me what should I do?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ":

    Tell me what should I do?

    stick on this thread and get suggestions and advice.

    :love:

    we're all here to help

    :heart:

    as for me, i'm about to write in my journal. too embarrassed to tell anyone what goes on so i use it as my release.

    :yes:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    just honestly feel like smacking my head in :banghead:

    get abuse from everyone and be center of jokes.....

    then people wonder why im so frikkin depressed...

    just wanna sit coner and stay there for rest of my life:(
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    **helen****helen** Deactivated Posts: 9,235 Supreme Poster
    I'm feeling very low today; I feel as though I hate everything, includeing everything around me. I am feeling so low stressing over to much work and I have so mucch on my mind it is killing me :( I have always thought about ending my life but I'm the positive sort of person so I wouldn't actually attemp anything. When ever I feel very low I would cut myself that may be after a arguement with my boy friend or a fight or even to much work I just want some weight lifted of my shoulder's I hate feeling like this it's
    1. to hard
    2. stressing
    3. tireing
    I am unable to sleep because of everything that going on in life I had the police knocking on my door yesterday my mum dad startedyelling at me I felt like screeming but I started crying then they went out I sat and cried, why am I so bad :crying: I just wish my life would be more simple my arms hurt I'm in pain and just do not understand what to do :( Tell me what should I do?

    Hey Angel, sorry to hear you're feeling so low. It sounds like you've got quite a lot it might help to chat about... remember you can post your own individual thread to get specific support. Take care.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :no:

    having 1 of those days too today.

    seem really on the edge today about everything.
    1 simple task turns in to a living nightmare.

    :no:

    today's just draining, and i've not even left the house.

    :mad:

    well the day is almost over, plus i get to write in my journal so that should offer some comfort
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :no:

    having 1 of those days too today.

    seem really on the edge today about everything.
    1 simple task turns in to a living nightmare.

    :no:

    today's just draining, and i've not even left the house.

    :mad:

    well the day is almost over, plus i get to write in my journal so that should offer some comfort


    Hey Avatar of agony,

    Sorry you are so low at the moment. Do you know why you feel so on edge?

    It's ok to want to stay in the house. why don't you treat yourself today and order in a take-a-way or watch some crappy TV to try (i know it's easier said than done from personal experience) to take your mind off things.

    It's really good that you find it comforting to write in your journal. Keep posting on here though as you don't want to bottle things up too much

    *hug*

    BB x
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey Avatar of agony,

    Sorry you are so low at the moment. Do you know why you feel so on edge?

    It's ok to want to stay in the house. why don't you treat yourself today and order in a take-a-way or watch some crappy TV to try (i know it's easier said than done from personal experience) to take your mind off things.

    It's really good that you find it comforting to write in your journal. Keep posting on here though as you don't want to bottle things up too much

    *hug*

    BB x



    hey.

    :love:

    it is so lovely to hear from you again.

    i did make it through the day

    :heart:

    often i wonder will i even do it?

    i ended up taking your advice. ordered sausages and chips from the jade garden (it's my local fish and chip shop)

    today i'm feeling okay.. though after reading some threads on here i'm worried again

    :no:

    need to go and find a good thread to distract me

    knew it would eventually get to me.

    how are you
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hey.

    :love:

    it is so lovely to hear from you again.

    i did make it through the day

    :heart:

    often i wonder will i even do it?

    i ended up taking your advice. ordered sausages and chips from the jade garden (it's my local fish and chip shop)

    today i'm feeling okay.. though after reading some threads on here i'm worried again

    :no:

    need to go and find a good thread to distract me

    knew it would eventually get to me.

    how are you

    Hi,

    that is awesome! so glad you treated yourself (and good choice too!):yippe:

    Maybe try and stay clear of the triggering threads for now but at least you reconise that, that is what is getting you worried again.
    People come on thesite with so many different personal issues. try your hardest not to take them on as your own problem- concentrate on yourself, definately for now. You've made a hard day into such a positive and i'm so glad you replied.
    Try and do little and often and keep writing!! :heart:

    BB x

    PS, that's really brightened up my day :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi,

    that is awesome! so glad you treated yourself (and good choice too!):yippe:

    Maybe try and stay clear of the triggering threads for now but at least you reconise that, that is what is getting you worried again.
    People come on thesite with so many different personal issues. try your hardest not to take them on as your own problem- concentrate on yourself, definately for now. You've made a hard day into such a positive and i'm so glad you replied.
    Try and do little and often and keep writing!! :heart:

    BB x

    PS, that's really brightened up my day :)



    you're right!

    :heart:

    from now on, only the threads with the calming titles get read.

    :heart:

    i am glad i managed to briten up your day.

    :yes:

    it means a lot to me that you said that.

    i just had dinner.. pork steak

    :yum:

    maybe going in chat tonight, see how i feel.

    feeling fine right now.

    :heart:

    talking to you acts as a very good remmedy
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    you're right!

    :heart:

    from now on, only the threads with the calming titles get read.

    :heart:

    i am glad i managed to briten up your day.

    :yes:

    it means a lot to me that you said that.

    i just had dinner.. pork steak

    :yum:

    maybe going in chat tonight, see how i feel.

    feeling fine right now.

    :heart:

    talking to you acts as a very good remmedy

    :heart: PM me if you ever need a chat

    BB x
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :heart: PM me if you ever need a chat

    BB x



    thanks.

    nice to have someone like you on the boards
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    AuroraAurora Posts: 11,722 An Original Mixlorian
    So low :(

    I am feeling so low today, I've just ended up crying extaticerly I just don't know what to do with my life with I ever grow up with a man or fail my life miserably just don't know what to do I hate my life just cant go through all the pain any more I'm crying with heavy tears cutting myself deep till more and more blood comes out I just dont know what to do i wwish i could say good bye earth i hate my life it seems so impossible.

    I just want to drop to the floor a lay there for ever I was crunched up in a tiny ball earlier shakeing like mad I hate my life Just want to cry with silent tears of blood :crying:
    Cant stand my life nno more day by day it get harder and harder today I met my real mum dad was with his wife when she arrived she treated me like cr*p I couldn't stand all the pain she put me through arghhhh just cant stop cutting myself I'm so low :(
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hey angel.

    really hope you are feeling better today.

    *hug*

    i know it's tough on you. i understand that.

    try and keep talking to us, it provides distraction. even though it may not be good, you need to let your emotions out and not bottle them up inside.

    :heart:

    i admire your strength. there is loads i want to post about, but everytime i go post it i freeze up and have to go back to the main forum.

    which reminds me... i need to update my profile.

    *hug*

    you take care, and i'm here to talk hun. don't suffer in silence.

    for me
    :love:

    as i said we love you on the forums, it would be such ashame to lose you.

    :(

    stay strong and i'll catch up to you soon
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    not doing so good tonight, been crying on and off thinking about my ex boyfriend, paul. it's just tragic the way things turned out, it's been 3 months now and im still teary when thinking about him. so i was stupid and texted him. asked him at one point whether he was seeing anyone or sleeping with anyone. he said no but he was recording songs with his ex. why tell me that?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hello?

    I hope i am doing this right, never been on a forum before so this is all new.
    Now i am here i havent a clue what to say.
    I have been thinking of telling someone about my sh but couldnt get up the nerve. I thought maybe you guys might be able to help or something. sorry if this is all really washed out and stuff.
    Uhm ok i think im gonna stop now
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    iceandfire wrote: »
    I hope i am doing this right, never been on a forum before so this is all new.
    Now i am here i havent a clue what to say.
    I have been thinking of telling someone about my sh but couldnt get up the nerve. I thought maybe you guys might be able to help or something. sorry if this is all really washed out and stuff.
    Uhm ok i think im gonna stop now

    Hey :wave:

    Firstly welcome to thesite!

    Yep, you are doing things right- don't worry! Well done for posting- I know how much effort it can take to make posts about SH. You may find it more useful to start a new thread (in the health and wellbeing section of these boards) which may give you even more specific answers from people too :)

    People are always here to listen and help, well done for taking the first step.

    As for telling someone (am assuming you meant in "real life") is there a trusted adult or friend you could tell? Although I know this is a huge step!
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    AuroraAurora Posts: 11,722 An Original Mixlorian
    hey angel.

    really hope you are feeling better today.

    *hug*

    i know it's tough on you. i understand that.

    try and keep talking to us, it provides distraction. even though it may not be good, you need to let your emotions out and not bottle them up inside.

    :heart:

    i admire your strength. there is loads i want to post about, but everytime i go post it i freeze up and have to go back to the main forum.

    which reminds me... i need to update my profile.

    *hug*

    you take care, and i'm here to talk hun. don't suffer in silence.

    for me
    :love:

    as i said we love you on the forums, it would be such ashame to lose you.

    :(

    stay strong and i'll catch up to you soon
    Hey,

    Thanks that's very sweet of you :). I sometimes do that I go to half way writeing it then go to main forum and delete it I think it's because I guess what people would think of me tbh.

    I have tried distracting myself but if you read my Child in need meeting thread it points out I'm to distressing which will make me want to cut more I'm just soo unsure and upset :( x

    Life is tough I'm being watched every second :(
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Still on section of the mental Health Act..:(
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    have been feeling really suicidal lately so not been about as much.

    :(

    spent most of my time crying in a corner

    :(
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Still on section of the mental Health Act..:(

    sorry to hear that honey :( stay strong x
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    have been feeling really suicidal lately so not been about as much.

    :(

    spent most of my time crying in a corner

    :(

    *hugs*

    do you know what's brought it on?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    omg hi wrote: »
    *hugs*

    do you know what's brought it on?



    yes, just the fact that i want everything to end.

    no more pain,

    no more fake smiles,

    i'm just worthless

    :(

    and i want to quit

    it will happen, and when it does it will be a relief.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yes, just the fact that i want everything to end.

    no more pain,

    no more fake smiles,

    i'm just worthless

    :(

    and i want to quit

    it will happen, and when it does it will be a relief.

    heyy um im still rather new to this site and all, but i kinda know where your coming from :/ i normally think stufff like that, so *hug* you are not worthless or anything
    :heart: x
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    maisyy wrote: »
    heyy um im still rather new to this site and all, but i kinda know where your coming from :/ i normally think stufff like that, so *hug* you are not worthless or anything
    :heart: x



    that means a lot to me.

    :love:

    we should talk sometime

    used to come on all the time because i had someone to relate to, but not anymore

    :no:
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