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On the way home the train was awful i saw at least 3 spies monitoring me.
I'm so low i couldn't even bring myself to get out of bed today. Dont know what to do
Will it ever get any better?
For the last 6 months, I've been stuck in the house due to hip dysplasia. I can't walk too far without it draining me. A year ago I could do 3 miles easy and not even break a sweat. Its bad because I can't go out looking for work or anything. I'm taking out employment support allowance but the job centre have not stopped hounding me since I took out the claim. 4 times I've had to say what was wrong and yet they STILL keep asking. I know that they are trying to crack down on benefit cheats and and all that but there is something wrong with me. I'm really not trying to cheat them.
my dad and sister are getting fed up with me. Since the end of uni I have been voicing my dislike for the situation. My dad just say's "It'll get better" and my sister is just saying deal with it. The thing is, thats a blind fact and that just makes me worry all the more. All this stuff about degrees are slowly becoming worthless makes me feel like I wasted my time, that all that hard work and the difficulty I had getting to uni was for nothing. (dunno what the big deal is because I still don't know what I want to do)
I'm also struggling to come to terms with the uni life being over. I don't really have any friends, the uni ones are too busy now and I can't get out much. I also miss the girl (or should I say lady) I was chatting to during the year, I did really like her and asked her if we could stay in touch but she said she couldn't promise anything. Been a while since I've spoke to her so I guess that speaks for itself. I just don't understand why its so hard for me to come to terms with the fact I won't see her again.
I realise this probably sounds way too self centered. I just wanted to get it off my chest. Sorry if its triggering to anyone.
try not to take the job centre's cock-ups personally. it's obvious you aren't lying and that you really can't work right now. it's their incompetancy, not yours.
the job market is rough right now, but i dont think uni is a waste, not if you enjoyed your course, had new experiences and made new friends. as for jobs- job titles are over-rated. not a lot of people can specify exactly what they want to do. it's just good to have a few ideas mulling around in your head. i got reccomended this website by a connexions advisor the other week, http://www.connexions-direct.com/jobs4u/
if you have even the vaguest idea you'd like to be something like a 'teacher' for example. it tells you in detail about what the job entails and then the useful part, to the right hand side of the screen is a list of related jobs that perhaps you haven't thought about or even considered.
it's difficult to know what to do about your sister and dad but maybe you could ask for suggestions or ideas from them? not in a sarcastic way or anything but it might keep the conversation going if you do this, otherwise they may just feel that you're stuck in a rut and have no idea how to give you a hand.
i hope you're alright johnny
Have you heard any more from the hospital about getting your hip problems sorted? If not go to your GP and see if they can chase up a refferal and/or give you a proper pain management refferal in the mean time if you havent had one.
I know the job situation sucks. The Job centre are useless.
I agree with Clementine about the uni/looking at careers bit.
Rejection hurts, a lot. You need to give yourself some time to get over it. You need to keep talking to your dad/sister/someone about what your feeling and why, it you internalise it it doesnt help in the long run.
You know where I am if you need to chat further.
hey
sorry i didon't see this sooner.
i got the email that you replied (as i'm on instant notifications) for topics that interest me.
:yes:
anyway, what i was going to say is that if you do have those days where you can't get out of bed and stuff, it is okay.
sometimes, things will have to wait. there is a breaking point, and too often people push themselves too far. there is plenty of example of that in my journal.
so i'm just saying on those days you really don't feel like anything, just put what ever you are doing on hold.
your emotions are much more important and i would hate to see you overworked.
take care and i'll write more soon
*hug*
they keep you waiting for ages, and ages, and ages. at least that's my experience of my local one.
:mad:
but hope they can sort something out soon
I'm feeling very low today; I feel as though I hate everything, includeing everything around me. I am feeling so low stressing over to much work and I have so mucch on my mind it is killing me
1. to hard
2. stressing
3. tireing
I am unable to sleep because of everything that going on in life I had the police knocking on my door yesterday my mum dad startedyelling at me I felt like screeming but I started crying then they went out I sat and cried, why am I so bad :crying: I just wish my life would be more simple my arms hurt I'm in pain and just do not understand what to do
Tell me what should I do?
stick on this thread and get suggestions and advice.
we're all here to help
as for me, i'm about to write in my journal. too embarrassed to tell anyone what goes on so i use it as my release.
:yes:
get abuse from everyone and be center of jokes.....
then people wonder why im so frikkin depressed...
just wanna sit coner and stay there for rest of my life:(
Hey Angel, sorry to hear you're feeling so low. It sounds like you've got quite a lot it might help to chat about... remember you can post your own individual thread to get specific support. Take care.
having 1 of those days too today.
seem really on the edge today about everything.
1 simple task turns in to a living nightmare.
:no:
today's just draining, and i've not even left the house.
:mad:
well the day is almost over, plus i get to write in my journal so that should offer some comfort
Hey Avatar of agony,
Sorry you are so low at the moment. Do you know why you feel so on edge?
It's ok to want to stay in the house. why don't you treat yourself today and order in a take-a-way or watch some crappy TV to try (i know it's easier said than done from personal experience) to take your mind off things.
It's really good that you find it comforting to write in your journal. Keep posting on here though as you don't want to bottle things up too much
*hug*
BB x
hey.
it is so lovely to hear from you again.
i did make it through the day
often i wonder will i even do it?
i ended up taking your advice. ordered sausages and chips from the jade garden (it's my local fish and chip shop)
today i'm feeling okay.. though after reading some threads on here i'm worried again
:no:
need to go and find a good thread to distract me
knew it would eventually get to me.
how are you
Hi,
that is awesome! so glad you treated yourself (and good choice too!):yippe:
Maybe try and stay clear of the triggering threads for now but at least you reconise that, that is what is getting you worried again.
People come on thesite with so many different personal issues. try your hardest not to take them on as your own problem- concentrate on yourself, definately for now. You've made a hard day into such a positive and i'm so glad you replied.
Try and do little and often and keep writing!!
BB x
PS, that's really brightened up my day
you're right!
from now on, only the threads with the calming titles get read.
i am glad i managed to briten up your day.
:yes:
it means a lot to me that you said that.
i just had dinner.. pork steak
maybe going in chat tonight, see how i feel.
feeling fine right now.
talking to you acts as a very good remmedy
BB x
thanks.
nice to have someone like you on the boards
I am feeling so low today, I've just ended up crying extaticerly I just don't know what to do with my life with I ever grow up with a man or fail my life miserably just don't know what to do I hate my life just cant go through all the pain any more I'm crying with heavy tears cutting myself deep till more and more blood comes out I just dont know what to do i wwish i could say good bye earth i hate my life it seems so impossible.
I just want to drop to the floor a lay there for ever I was crunched up in a tiny ball earlier shakeing like mad I hate my life Just want to cry with silent tears of blood :crying:
Cant stand my life nno more day by day it get harder and harder today I met my real mum dad was with his wife when she arrived she treated me like cr*p I couldn't stand all the pain she put me through arghhhh just cant stop cutting myself I'm so low
really hope you are feeling better today.
*hug*
i know it's tough on you. i understand that.
try and keep talking to us, it provides distraction. even though it may not be good, you need to let your emotions out and not bottle them up inside.
i admire your strength. there is loads i want to post about, but everytime i go post it i freeze up and have to go back to the main forum.
which reminds me... i need to update my profile.
*hug*
you take care, and i'm here to talk hun. don't suffer in silence.
for me
as i said we love you on the forums, it would be such ashame to lose you.
stay strong and i'll catch up to you soon
I hope i am doing this right, never been on a forum before so this is all new.
Now i am here i havent a clue what to say.
I have been thinking of telling someone about my sh but couldnt get up the nerve. I thought maybe you guys might be able to help or something. sorry if this is all really washed out and stuff.
Uhm ok i think im gonna stop now
Hey :wave:
Firstly welcome to thesite!
Yep, you are doing things right- don't worry! Well done for posting- I know how much effort it can take to make posts about SH. You may find it more useful to start a new thread (in the health and wellbeing section of these boards) which may give you even more specific answers from people too
People are always here to listen and help, well done for taking the first step.
As for telling someone (am assuming you meant in "real life") is there a trusted adult or friend you could tell? Although I know this is a huge step!
Thanks that's very sweet of you
I have tried distracting myself but if you read my Child in need meeting thread it points out I'm to distressing which will make me want to cut more I'm just soo unsure and upset
Life is tough I'm being watched every second
spent most of my time crying in a corner
sorry to hear that honey
*hugs*
do you know what's brought it on?
yes, just the fact that i want everything to end.
no more pain,
no more fake smiles,
i'm just worthless
and i want to quit
it will happen, and when it does it will be a relief.
heyy um im still rather new to this site and all, but i kinda know where your coming from
that means a lot to me.
we should talk sometime
used to come on all the time because i had someone to relate to, but not anymore
:no: