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Sorry to hear that BB, although in my experience as bad as it is at the time sometimes it's for the best. What section are you on? Are they doing anything to help you?
yeahh sure at the talk bit
x
you're awsome
will probably write soon
It's quite difficult to tell what you're saying in this post, but it sounds like you see suicide as a better alternative to living at the moment?
Please remember that there are lots of people who want to help you see a brighter future and there are people you can talk to if you feel like you're stuck. Think about what I said in the other post about choosing the places for help that you feel most comfortable with - I know in the past you've found Childline good, so why not give them a call tonight.
Take care and remember you can chat about interesting topics on the other boards if you're looking for something to keep your mind busy.
x
It takes time but you'll get there eventually. I self harmed for ten years, not all of that time was I trying to stop as at some points I was so addicted I couldn't see anything wrong with it but when I did decide to stop it still took time and an awful lot of effort and I needed a lot of support. But it is definately worth it in the end, I really hope you can stop soon
x
for no apparent reason what so ever
just wanna die right here and now
I've got myself so stressed out im losing my appetite, and my minds too distracted to get on with the uni work i need to do! Making the likelihood of me doing shit increase! If all this shite happened any other time of year (hell, I've had possiblely the most dramatic year of my life, and was coping fine, until the weather turned and the nights have started getting noticeably shorter) hopefully getting this off my chest will get it outta my brain, and let me just fucking get on with it
Ive been self harming for a couple of years now but i managed to stop for a bit over my AS exams in the summer but then once they were over i started again, it felt so good and that just made me feel sooo guilty cause there is NOTHING in my life that should make make me feel like this and what there is is my own fault. I got so scared about how good it felt that i told one of my teachers that i was depressed but not about the sh (too much of a coward) cause that way somebody would be responsible if i did kill myself so i wouldnt do it cause im not gonna ruien someone else's life just cause i hate mine.
one of the few friends i havent managed to push away yet notice the cuts on the palm of my hand( i never normaly cut there, i stick to my torso and legs and I avoid my wrists / arms completely ) and asked how i got them and when i brushed him off he asked whether i was self harming, scared me so badly he accepted the "no" i think.
i keep alternating between wanting my teacher to know and wishing id never opened my stupid mouth.
I know that people have thier own problems and stuff but im scared and you guys are the only ones i think i can talk too cause you havent a clue who i am and you can understand.
the longer this goes on the more i just want to end it all
I dont understand and im scared and lonely
sorry for the ramble and stupid stuff in here i just dont know how to cope anymore
Sounds like things are really tough for you right now and you're feeling pretty stuck and isolated - which you don't want but being seen by people is also really scary. How risky does it feel to talk to your teacher again?
Glad you feel like you can post here - this is a please where you won't be judged for SH.
Is there any other way you have of coping when things get tough or any other release that works when you get stressed? The site and other users may have some ideas - exercise, distractions, talking...
Keep posting - you are definitely not on your own with this struggle
Take care:wave:
I do not know why I am feeling like this its just the pain in life. Like someone once said to me,
"If you have a plan go for it" so why don't I?
I don't know if i have depression because i can't talk to people about it, i tried hinting to my parents once that i thought i might be suicidal but they shut me out and wouldn't hear any of it. I've self harmed a number of times in the past and regretted it every single time, but it felt good, i could focus on the pain instead of my thoughts.
Recently things have got worse, my family life is falling apart because my family don't know what to do with me. They've tried setting up counciling but the waiting list is long.
I wish it would end. I've caused my family so much grief they'd be better off without me, everyone would.
Firstly, thanks for posting, it can be really hard to share your feelings, especially when you're going through a hard time, which it sounds like you are. Hopefully while you're here you'll get some support from others who have been, or are going through similar troubles - remember you're not alone!
It's great that you've been able to speak to your family about how you're feeling, and although you think they are having some difficulties coming to terms with how you're doing, they are probably pleased you have spoken to them and just want to help and be there for you.
There are loads of great articles on here about depression that you might find useful, or that you can give to your family to read and hopefully better understand what you're going through. There's also some information on self harm that you might want to look through.
Have you been to the doctors to discuss what you're going through? They will be able to refer you to counselling which you may be able to access quicker.
Hang on in there and keep talking, to us and to your family, we all want to help. :thumb:
pleeeeease
thanks for the reply, i am almost certain that if i tell my teacher she will have to tell my parents im not yet 18 and i have been working very hard (rightly or wrongly) not to put them through this. I cant risk that happening.
as for the other stuff i either throw myself into my school work or occassionaly run myself into the ground (litarary) but it dosent work as well
I know other people have got bigger problems so thanks for the reply
was that your reply to me?
i got an email notification with your reply on it, but can't seem to find it on here
Why do you say that? Feeling suicidal is not always about dieing but just wanting the pain to go away. Is there something on your mind that is bugging you? Would you like to talk about it?
Have you tried the site recover your life it is like this one run by v.bulletin as I know you like they also have a open chat and many people are online you can talk to it is like TH and this site so hope you check it out it has forums with insstat replies or have you tried saneline? it is alsso very similar type it in to google you should find it take care x
Abi x
*hug*
It is an addiction, no other words can describe it. Following the experience of that blissful release, I needed and wanted more. It was a downward spiral, one I could see no immediate exit to, one I wasn't sure I wanted to exit, at that moment in time. Minorities such as friends and family, didn't seem to matter. School work seemed hopeless, there seemed to be no possibility of recovery. Without it, I was nothing, felt nothing. It is an impossible and difficult situation, and there seems to be no answer, other than to exit, completely.
It is a horrid addiction, I believe. You are left with despair and frustration without it, it leads to a downward spiral.
I feel the exact way. my family know i am hurting myself yet they do nothing. they think i am a freak like the rest of the world. they think i am scratching myself. Thats how it started. I accidently made myself bleed and it hurt and it felt good as well. I was stupid. I started scratching my arm. i thought people couldnt see and then i had PE and my shirt was short sleeved. teachers asked questions so i said i tripped even though it was SOO obvious i didnt. they didnt ask questions.
I was 11 when that happened. I am almost 13 and i have started cutting my self with sharpener blades. i have OCD and i am afraid of the cuts getting infected so i have used lots and lots of savlon and antibacterial wipes. my mum doesnt even ask where it goes. i get cuts so deep that it doesnt stop bleeding for days. i know i am depressed people at school tell me and i dont know what to do. because i feel like its over. people call me smart i guess thats true. i am top of the class but it feels like that defines everything i am. i feel like i cant keep going i just cant because every second gets harder. i can ALWAYS make everything worse by cutting my self so deep they blood does NOT stop. i am cutting my feet noone sees there. I am fucked up. everyone tells me i have problems please tell me what to do? i feel like i can t live anymore. No one i know under stands me.:banghead:
Welcome to Thesite! It's great that you have been able to share your feelings here. This is a safe and secure place for you to explore how you feel and get advice and support from others, so do keep posting and let us know how you are getting on.
The fact that you have come here to ask for help, is a good start to exploring your issues with self-harm and feeling depressed. You are also taking care of your cuts with antiseptic cream, which is also good. You said that your parents know about your harming? Do you talk about it with them, or is it that you think they know? It might be that you need to spell it out for them as it can hard for parents to accept if they only guess what's going on.
You could also try talking to a school teacher / mentor or nurse - someone you trust at school, and they can help to point you in the right direction to get some help. You could also go to see your Doctor, but as you are 12 your parents may need to know or be involved.
You could also try talking to someone at Childline - 0800 11 11, they can talk to you confidentially on the phone, or you can access their online services.
Hope some of this helps. Take care -