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Starting a sexual relationship

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    A high proportion of people do go to clubs/bars/pubs to get laid. Far more people get sex that way than by going to brothels - that's why there are far more clubs/bars/pubs than there are brothels. All the lads I know (and some of the girls) who go out in the evening go primarily/solely to get laid.

    I've gone to many different places in many different towns and cities and have tried approaching hundreds of girls - I'm disappointed everywhere because none of them want me.

    I've tried not trying, but that doesn't work either.

    I'm poor. If prostitutes were fifty pence per session, I'd have sex every day. I want to have sex every day (ideally with a girlfriend who loves me), not once a year with a cheap prostitute. I have an acquaintance who hired a prostitute because he was sick of being a frustrated virgin in his twenties. He was taunted and ridiculed for being a virgin, now he's taunted and ridiculed for being a sex client. He's still frustrated, due to being unable to get sex any other way and hence can't get anywhere near as much sex as he wants. Girls have never been attracted to him either.

    I've been told before that "it will happen naturally when the time's right", but how can it be too soon? I'm 24 and I've never even held hands with or kissed a girl. Every day since I was 13, I've wanted to have sex.

    When I approach girls I don't know they usually make it clear within seconds that they don't want me. When I've tried to turn a female acquaintance/friend into a girlfriend, she always makes it crystal clear that she has never, and will never, see me in that way. I've been told that the best that will ever happen to me is that I will be friend zoned, and that I'm so unappealing that I should be grateful to even have that happen. I've been told that I'm not "boyfriend material" and that no-one will ever be sexually attracted to me. No-one has told me specifically what it is about me that is unappealing, nor what I can do so that girls will be sexually attracted to me.

    I'm still waiting for specific advice. What would you do to get sex tonight if you were me and you don't have enough money for a prostitute? Girls, what type of approach makes you decide to have sex with someone within minutes/hours of meeting him? If people here gave me specific examples of what does work, I could try them out, then I won't still be a frustrated virgin when I'm middle-aged.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The large majority of people my age have sex; many of them have sex on the first date/one-night stands/hookups. How do I become one of them? Most girls enjoy sex, it would be ridiculous to claim that most don't want sex.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Adam0 wrote: »
    The large majority of people my age have sex; many of them have sex on the first date/one-night stands/hookups. How do I become one of them? Most girls enjoy sex, it would be ridiculous to claim that most don't want sex.

    Just because they enjoy sex, doesn't mean they want to have sex with everyone that approaches them, especially if you've just met. You're definitely not the first guy they've been approached by while they're out.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know that girls don't want sex with everyone who approaches them. How can I become one of them whom they do want to have sex with? Please tell me what to wear, what to say and what to do to increase my chances of success as much as possible.

    If you're straight and male, tell me how you get sex with someone new; the same strategy may work for me on the girls I fancy. No-one here has said: what I do to get sex with someone new is ...................

    If you're straight and female, tell me what makes you decide to have sex with someone new; the same strategy used on you may work if I use it on the girls I fancy. No-one here has said: what gets me into bed with someone new is .....................
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Your desperation is so off putting. I think that's part of your problem.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Melian wrote: »
    Your desperation is so off putting. I think that's part of your problem.

    :yes:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Of course I'm desperate - I'm a hypersexual 24-year-old virgin. Do you understand what it's like to have an erection for two hours a day and have nowhere to put it? Please give me constructive, specific advice - instead of repeating the same insult.

    If I were a girl who were desperate to have sex, I would be able to get it any time I wanted - it wouldn't be off-putting at all.

    When I was at school, I was told that I would get plenty of sex in college, because college is like one big orgy. When I went to college, I was massively disappointed - there was plenty of sex going on, but none of it involved me. When I started work in an office, I was told I'd definitely get sex with someone at work, because sex between office workers is very common. Again I was disappointed - there was a lot of sex going on between staff who worked at that office, but none of it involved me.

    How do I become one of the millions of people who have a lot of sex, instead of being sidelined and forced to be a virgin? Please give me specific instructions, based on what works for you. I would have thought that the people posting here must want to help, yet no-one is trying to tell me what works for them. Copying someone else's strategy may work for me, so please give me the opportunity to try it.
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    plugitinplugitin Posts: 2,197 Boards Champion
    There is no specific advice.

    Get a hobby, meet people and as a sideline you'll probably meet someone - and bonus - you'll have interests in common.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    There is specific advice you can give me - tell me what makes you decide to have sex with a particular person whom you met recently. It's likely to be a method which works with other girls.

    I've had lots of hobbies over the years, but none of them have led to sex. Can you recommend a hobby that is a fast-track to sex?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    There's no such thing.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Adam, I hope ur ok?

    I just wanted to ask from my previous question what were u like with the previous girls u were saying? Im just asking this question again because I want to get an idea on how u come across to girls. I do wanna help u the best way possible and im sorry if it sounds like I am bragging or anything.

    I understand u dont want to be in that same situation as u was before but could reflecting back on what happened at the time give us a indication on what the situation is like? This could not only help me to her a better understanding about how I can help but others on the site who can try and help two.

    The last thing we all wanna do is give out advice to u what wont be any help or not be postive for u. All of us really do wanna help u but its getting u to make it clear to us on what kind of advice or support u are looking for.

    Please feel free talk to me anytime :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If there are no hobbies that are likely to lead to sex, then the advice to take up a hobby to get sex is of no use. I'm not going to fruitlessly waste hundreds of hours doing some pointless hobby I don't like without getting sex. I only want advice that will (likely) lead to me having sex, not killing time or distracting myself.

    I don't know exactly how girls view me, only that they aren't sexually attracted to me. Either they want nothing to do with me, or they just use me for someone to kill time with when they're bored and everyone else they know is busy. They've said that they could never be sexually attracted to someone like me. They've told me that I'm "one of those people who's never going to have sex" and that I need to accept that sex isn't for me. They've told me that no girl will ever fancy me and that I need to forget all about sex. They've told me that I need to accept that my rightful place in life is that of a lifelong virgin. They've said that I "haven't earned the right to become sexually active".

    I have a very high sex drive and if I'm never going to have sex I'd rather die now than suffer decades of sexual frustration.

    Tell me what works for you. I'll copy that and it might work for me; let me try the strategy that you use or that is used on you.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You're 24, you need to work out why you're so obsessed with sex, it sounds like it controls your whole life. Have you tried speed dating, and asked girls opinions of yourself?

    The fact is no one here can tell you what to do, because there isn't a rule set to follow to get laid. You never know, some girls might find you attractive but you give off a vibe you're just after sex and so you blow your chances with them. From this thread I would say it's very likely that's your problem.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You mentioned two things, u dont know how girls exactly view u but say u know they arnt attractive to me because im not their type or only use me. However, u must know how they do view u if u know that they dont like u or wanna use u so in a way u must know that theres something ur doing to put girls off u.

    I do think and im not trying to sound negative or unreasonable here. Do u mention that u want sex with them when u first meet them? This question is what I wanted to ask because its very likely in most cases that a girl would run off if ur ask them that sort of question.

    When u also said they told u that no one will be sexually attractive to u and u might aswell accept that isnt the truth at all! I really dont agree with what they said just cuz its likely that u want an intimate relationship and they were thrown over the edge by it. I think thats the real reason cuz they feel embarassed, humilated, shy and insecure. They do seem like very insecure imature little girls who dont know what anything means.

    You deserve alot better and im not just saying that. I can understand u may of done wrong in a sense of coming across a bit desprete, needy and forward but u never went out ur way to get the disrespect and horrible comments from those girls in the first place. That is being unkind and hurtful and I dont at all what so ever invite people in my life or show respectful they really dont deserve and im sorry if I may sound horrible here but I just everyone on here knows what kind of girls they really are and that they hate them like me :)

    Im sorry if it sounded horrible but I dont like people like that. I think finding people who care about u and like u for u is those who are the ones u should look up to. Spending time with friends and family can help with how ur feeling. You got us on here two.

    Just a few tips that I wanna give u so u can bare in mind.

    When u first start speaking to a girl u want to approuch them by saying hi how are u or I saw u from across the room a few times and wanted to say hi. Another thing is ask them about them and not just get them to ask about u, this will show that ur interested in what they got to say and they feel appreciated that u made time to talk to them, also never use chat up lines as this is what can put a girl right off, carry urself well and try to remain confident and approchable. This will not only set off first good impressions but help with ur self esteem and never put urself down and always turn a negative to a postive and this will let them know that ur a confortable in urself, happy and always look on the bright side. One last thing, its good to give a girl complitment now and again about there clothes or shoes but dont over complitment them and NEVER ASK DO YOU WANT SEX. That Is a no right there.

    Overall if u use these tips and practice doing them then no girl should have to avoid u or u do anything wrong. I think this might be useful for u if ur in that situation again and u can use these tips if u plan to go on a date or meet them for first time.

    Would this be something u could consider?

    PS Please dont say u wanna kill urself. You are just as worthy to be here like everyone else. You will find the right person in time wether thats at work, in a bar, walking somewhere or socialising with friends there will be someone out there in time and when u do u will feel loads happier but remember about the advice I said.

    Sorry for long message and Good Luck x
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    JavaKrypt wrote: »
    You're 24, you need to work out why you're so obsessed with sex, it sounds like it controls your whole life. Have you tried speed dating, and asked girls opinions of yourself?

    The fact is no one here can tell you what to do, because there isn't a rule set to follow to get laid. You never know, some girls might find you attractive but you give off a vibe you're just after sex and so you blow your chances with them. From this thread I would say it's very likely that's your problem.

    I second this, Sex isn't as amazing as everyone makes it out to be, when you're at school everyone's speaking about getting "Laid" but when you get older and actually have sex for the its not as thrilling as you thought it was going to be, The fact you're life seems to be ruled around having sex is probably blinding you to actually how the "normal" way to have sex is, by meeting a person, starting a relationship which eventually leads to sex, Sex isn't as cool as everyone makes it out....In fact I've found it pretty boring!
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    plugitinplugitin Posts: 2,197 Boards Champion
    Have you thought of getting help, or speaking to your doctor about this? There could be some therapy or medication you could take to reduce your libido and help lessen the urges you have to have sex. This could be a short term solution whilst you work on finding a girlfriend, with whom you could have regular sex.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My sex drive has increased from merely above-average to hypersexual. I know what has caused this, but taking medication to reduce my sex drive made me extremely unhappy, to the point where I was contemplating suicide. If I can't ejaculate every day, my life isn't worth living. I want to satisfy my sex drive, not rid myself of it. It's perfectly normal to want to have sex frequently; I don't want to become asexual and play bowls instead, as though I'm old before my time. I want to enjoy a vigorous sex life.

    I know that I would enjoy sex a great deal, as I use an artificial vagina (which feels delightful) and my orgasms are explosively pleasurable. If I were having regular sex, I'd feel far more pleasure and satisfaction than I do now, and I would no longer be frustrated. I'm aware that there is a significant minority of people (most of whom are female) who don't enjoy sex (much) and find it disappointing; I assure you that would not be the case for me. I find masturbating and climaxing whilst talking to sex chat girls to be significantly more enjoyable than doing so alone (I wish I could afford to do so far more often and for longer), so I know that actual sex would be better still.

    I've tried speed dating; no-one ticked that they wanted to date me. Being successful at speed dating requires making a very good first impression. Hence it is good for people who are good-looking, confident and have good social skills; I have none of those things.

    I don't ask for sex as the first thing I say to a girl. The problem is that the large majority of girls don't want anything to do with me; any approach I've tried immediately fails. If I do get to know a girl, it goes into a situation where she uses me as someone with whom to kill time when she's bored and everyone else she knows is busy; these girls aren't sexually attracted to me either.

    It's still the case that no-one on here has said what their strategy is, or what strategy has worked on them. Please tell me how you get sex with someone new; I could try the same method. If a technique works for a high proportion of the time for you, it might work for at least some of the time for me, especially if I try it in the same type of establishments that you do.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    All the girls I've encountered either want nothing to do with me at all, or they want me only as a means to kill time when they're bored and everyone else they know is busy. Most lads find some girls to have sex with. Please tell me how to find girls to have sex with. What do you wear, where do you go and what do you say when you have sex with someone new? I'm asking you, the readers of this thread, how you get sex. I'll try to copy that strategy. Please give me that information. Copying a strategy with a known high success rate has to be better than continuing with my methods, which have a zero success rate.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You've just answered what your own problem is.
    ...making a very good first impression. Hence it is good for people who are good-looking, confident and have good social skills; I have none of those things.

    Confidence is a big factor, even if you don't think you're good looking. I've seen people who I wouldn't consider very good looking to get regular sexual partners with ease, because they're confidant without being cocky. Social skills and confidence is something you can work only on yourself. Again, no one can teach you the best way to get laid, I don't see why you're not getting that. You have to work on your social skills and confidence yourself. Do you have social anxiety or an ASD?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    How can I be confident when I'm rejected 100% of the time? Specifically how can I work on my social skills so that they are good enough for me to get lots of sex?

    I can be taught how to get laid, by people telling me how they get laid. A post such as: When I want sex, I wear ...... ... ......., I go to .............. When I approach a girl, I say "....... ....... ... ... ..... ........ ..... .. ............" and in most cases, I have sex with her later the same night.

    Someone fill in the gaps in the paragraph above, please. I will copy your method. I know that there's no guarantee, but it might work for me. Please let me try to copy your method, instead of withholding that useful information.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's not that simple. Different things work for different people.

    Do you know why you're rejected? Aside from the fact that you're quite clearly desparate, which is so off putting.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Adam, hope ur ok?

    Did u recieve my message before? Just basicly saying that we have all been there so in a way we all do kind of understand what ur going through cuz having ur heart broken so many times is one thing but feeling no one wants u is another.

    I see u mentioned that a relationship u want is a sexual one. Again I can completely understand although there are other aspects of a relationship we all like to have two including what sort of person ur looking for? Where do ur relationship to go? Are u looking for a long term relationship? These are questions im sure u have considered. I

    You can have all those things in the long run without rushing into anything or settling for second best. Its important that u carry urself in a good way without looking needy, forward or insecure. This is doing the complete opporsite to all those things.

    By answering ur question about how can I work on my social skills to get alot of sex? Is showing ur softer side meaning complitmenting a girl, sharing ur hobbies and interests even if its watching films or listening to music, asking her what she likes doing in her spare time, always smiling and being poliet. Thats all u need to do, u shouldnt get rejected by doing that.

    Your other answer to ur other questions in the paragrath u shared is I can be taught how to get laid, by people telling me how to get laid. A post such as: When I want sex I wear something like a shirt and jeans to show that I look smart and keen to impress, I go to a speed dating night either by looking up varies events on the dating sites ur on and seeing where they will be held and asking for more information or at a local pub where I can meet other girls inwho my area who are interested and want to have a bf at the end of the night, when I approuch a girl I say Hi how are u? I noticed u from across the room and really wanted to come over and speak to u or for a softer more informal approuch I think ur shoes look great on u by the way and in most cases I have sex with her later the same night.

    I hope that u realise now what u can do with the advice given to u.

    Hope that helps :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sigh. How can you work on your self confidence and social skills? Stop trying to find a magical formula and being so desperate to have sex with every girl you see is a start. Put sex out off your mind and just talk to people because you actually want to socialise and not get in their draws.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    As I've said, my sex drive is very high; it's impossible for me to not have sex on my mind continuously when I see a girl whom I fancy. I can no more put sex out of my mind in that situation than I can flap my arms and fly.

    I'm never going to be someone who wants to talk to socialise and not have sex. Having sex thousands of times is a major goal of mine, and it's a goal of millions of other people as well, and many of them get it. I'm here to find out how to get sex, not to find out how to have non-sexual chats with people to fill time until I go to the grave a virgin.

    There's no reason why the lads on here who frequently get sex with girls can't tell me their successful methods. They might work for me; tell me how you do it, so that I can try to copy your strategies. Please stop being negative and obstructive by saying that it won't work for me - it might work for me, let me try.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Adam0 wrote: »
    I'm never going to be someone who wants to talk to socialise and not have sex. Having sex thousands of times is a major goal of mine, and it's a goal of millions of other people as well, and many of them get it. I'm here to find out how to get sex, not to find out how to have non-sexual chats with people to fill time until I go to the grave a virgin.

    This is the issue. No (or very very few) girl is going to have sex with a guy who walks up to her and says "Hi. Have sex with me." The only way I would consider having sex with someone I had met that night would be if we'd spent the entire night talking (about normal things like our interests) and even then they would have to be pretty special.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    are you attractive? sorry to be blunt but it is relative. that would probably help although the desperation would put nearly all girls off. how do you know there are lads on here that 'get loads of sex' anyway?! this site is mostly full of teenagers. How old are you? I'm not sure thesite is working for you.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    are you attractive? sorry to be blunt but it is relative. that would probably help although the desperation would put nearly all girls off. how do you know there are lads on here that 'get loads of sex' anyway?! this site is mostly full of teenagers. How old are you? I'm not sure thesite is working for you.

    Those who claim they are "having loads of sex", are probably lying.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you are not good looking and you have no social skills then I would really stop trying to cold approach people in clubs etc. This shit will never work for you and getting constantly rejected is not helping your confidence either, as you rightfully realized. There is not magic formula, but if you can't woo a girl with your looks or what comes out of your mouth then you better be wealthy, but you are not even that. If you really think that girls just go home with some random guy every night after clubbing then they must be propositioned by a couple guys a night and among those they probably pick the one they click with best on whatever level, which is by your description of yourself not you. So forget about that. Play to your strengths and don't compete in a playing field where you are without chance.

    So, what you are going to do. First, you go to the doctor, because if you have 2 hour erections that don't go away after you masturbated you have something called priapism. The next thing you do is you shape yourself into some desirable commodity. Start working out, get a nice haircut that suits you start dressing well if you do not do that already, but I guess you don't. If you want to have sex with somebody you will have to offer something desirable. You don't deserve sex simply because you exist. You put no work into it, you think you can rush to the result without the work. Then you look for some hobby that has a community around it, preferably co-ed. Get to know people, work on your social skills. You will get to know a lot of new people of both sexes. If you don't give of the vibe that you are a hornball that wants to assault with your penis everything that does not sit on a tree by the count of three people will vouch for you, introduce you to their friends. By now you should be a amiable person that is nice to hang around with. If you ever get to this point your chances of having sex with any of those people you got to know is about thousandfold of you having sex with someone random in a club that you approach with, "yo what is a nice girl like you doing in a place like this *snicker*snort*?"
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    There are bound to be some lads on here who get sex with lots of girls - that's basic mathematics of probability based on the number of views (over 900) that this thread has received. Even though many exaggerate their success, they at least have a high success rate - my success rate is zero.

    It's not a continuous two hour erection - each day I have a few erections which are of about two hours duration in total.

    As I'm always rejected, I must be ugly - even though I think I'm average-looking. Being good-looking would lead to sexual success even without any other positive traits. There are many such people: good-looking, but there's nothing else good about them at all - and those people easily find many admirers and plenty of sex.

    No-one has given me examples of hobbies/pursuits where I can find lots of girls who are likely to want to have sex with me. I don't want to be surrounded by prudish girls who don't want sex and virgin lads who have no idea how to get sex. I also don't want to fruitlessly waste hundreds of hours going somewhere and doing something that does not result in me having sex. I don't want to talk merely for the sake of talking, nor meet people merely for the sake of meeting people. I only want to do things that productively help towards my goal of having sex every day, preferably multiple times a day. If someone gave me specific instructions, I'd try to follow them - but they have to put me on the road to sex, not send me on a wild goose chase. I don't want to become a 30-year-old virgin, then a 40-year-old virgin, then a 50-year-old virgin.

    No-one has suggested what I should or should not put on my profiles on dating websites. I've been on them for years, yet no-one has wanted to meet me. Should I mention on my profiles that I want sex? If so, how should I phrase it? If not, what should I pretend is my reason for wanting to meet girls?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If girls have sex with whomever they 'click with' best, please give me advice as to how to 'click with' girls, so that they choose me. What specific things are likely to result in 'clicking with' a girl to the extent that she wants to have sex?

    I clearly don't have any strengths in regard to attracting girls, so to tell me to play to my strengths is nonsensical.
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