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Starting a sexual relationship
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Essential support for under 25s
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You wouldn't consider a hobby if it doesn't lead to sex. You don't wanna talk to people if you know it doesn't lead to sex. You have basically nothing to offer to somebody you want to bond with except that you are willing to have sex.
The normal way to go about is, like I said, is getting to know people, liking each other, spending time with each other and develop a romantic relationship. All of that is a waste of time for you. I think at this point you should consider the help of a therapist, because you are so focused on your unwavering obsession to get laid that it won't be happening. It's like people tell you to slow down your driving but you are eager to arrive where you want to go. Unfortunately where you want to go you have to take some turns and you simply cannot go through them at a fast pace. If you don't chill out and become a sufferable human being that is in some way interesting I doubt you will get laid any time soon.
I'm good looking, I am mildly successful, I am funny. I have never ever had a one night stand and I don't expect to have one in my life time.
You may not want sex quickly, but many people do want it and get it. It's perfectly normal to want frequent sex and to not want to wait weeks/months/years. I don't know why you're only mildly successful - you clearly haven't been able to apply your intelligence and proclaimed good looks to be sexually successful. It sounds like you don't care that you don't get much sex. It's devastating to me that I don't get any sex; I was told when I was growing up that when I became an adult, those difficulties would no longer exist.
At an office where I used to work, a new member of staff had sex with a long-serving member of staff in the stationery cupboard on his first day at work (it wasn't made-up gossip; I walked in on them during intercourse without previously knowing they were in there); they had not met previously. There was no getting to know each other or developing a relationship, not even any dating - it was instant attraction. I'm often instantly attracted to girls; how can I instantly attract girls to me, so that I don't have to go through a long, expensive, tedious, frustrating process before getting sex? How can I make my sexual pursuits sprints rather than marathons?
We are trying to help you constantly, but do not want any of our advice.
Advising me what to say to girls would be useful to me (what would quickly get you into bed?), as would advising me what to write on my profiles on dating websites.
If things were the other way round - I were sexually successful and someone asked me how to get sex, I'd gladly tell him exactly what I do to get sex. I'd tell him what I wear, where I go and what I say. I wouldn't tell him he was wrong to want sex, nor would I tell him that he should go a long, arduous route of starting hobbies and knowing someone very well before even thinking about sex.
The reason that I chose this site to ask for advice is that it's sex-positive - hence I thought that I was in the right place. There's no judgmental tone in the articles, or any 'keep your virginity until you're in a long-term relationship with your perfect partner' nonsense that is present on some sites. However, the tone from most of the people on this thread is very much that you're claiming that knowing someone for ages is the only way to get sex, or at least that's it's the only way that I could get sex.
I agree with Plugtin.
Okay so you want sex everyday? then go somewhere you can get sex everyday, weather that means paying for it or not, go to your local brothel.
We've tried to help you out, we're doing the best we can and you need to realise we don't have all the answers
Some of you do have the answers; you could tell me how things happen for you.
As I've said before, I'm poor. If I could afford sex with prostitutes every day, then I would get it. Sex once a year with a prostitute would be nothing like sufficient.
Many people get sex every day without paying for it; I want to know how to be one of them.
I wouldn't talk to a random guy in a bar, so what he should say or do is out of the question.
Nobody has tried to make you feel guilty about wanting sex, sorry if that's how it's come across to you, but that hasn't been our intentions.
Many of us are saying about being in a relationship first because that is how a lot of us here generally tend to do it.
Have you tried asking your former colleague? Because he clearly knows how to do it and has the answers your looking for..
None of us have ever said that there are not people out there who will have sex the first time they meet someone.
It's just pretty much everyone who has responded doesn't go about it that way. That doesn't mean there aren't people out there who would - you're just asking the wrong people.
The assertion by many people here is that a relationship needs to be established over a long period of time before sex can happen between its participants. In reality, every day, many people have sex with people they've only met recently. A long-term relationship sometimes starts with sex; a relationship doesn't need to start with weeks/months/years of celibacy before sex can be introduced.
Where do I find the girls who do have sex readily, and how do I get sex with them? I don't want to try to get to know a girl, then find out that she's a prude who wants to wait ages to have sex, or doesn't like sex at all.
http://www.brobible.com/life/article/how-to-get-laid/
^ from simply googling. Perhaps these will be of some help.
We don't know you, we don't know what you look like or what kind of person you are, whether you seem approachable or not, what kind of places you go to, so we really can't tell you exactly what to do to get laid.
I second this.
Having sex with someone you don't really know causes so many risks.
Keep being true to urself and when the right person comes along u will be happy that u waited for them to. Theres no rush so it's good to try and not worry about it untill the time comes. You just need to be around people who care.
Would this be something u can try?
I'm here if u wanna talk x
The problem here wasn't that you had sex with him, it was that you (presumably) didn't use a condom. I'll use a condom every time, so that I'm much less likely to catch anything. Even if I did, neither the sexual encounter nor the STI would become common knowledge, so I wouldn't become a laughing stock in regard to it.
It's not the case that I only want slim girls, nor that they have to have large breasts. I'm not indiscriminate either, but I like various shapes. I find curvy girls every bit as attractive as slim girls. Likewise, I'm just as attracted to thirtysomethings as I am to twentysomethings. I've never understood why at most strip clubs, escort agencies etc., all the girls are young and slim - is there really so little demand for anyone over thirty or over nine stone?
It would be helpful if I knew what I should or should not write on my dating website profiles. I've been advised elsewhere that I shouldn't mention sex at all on my profiles, and my mention of sex on them is why I've had no success. However, how then would I answer the questions asked on the dating sites? When it asks "What would you like to do on a first date?", I've said that I want to have sex. I can't think what would be better to falsely claim that I want to do instead.
Many people are sexually successful via dating websites despite not being good-looking or rich, so what they write in their profiles and in their messages to other members must be of substantial relevance. The advice I've read about online dating is too vague for me to use. As far as I'm aware, no-one whom I personally know has profiles on dating websites, so I've no-one to ask directly about it.
Isn't that peculiar? I mean among those billions of women on this planet you'd assume at least some think similar to you and simply want a lot of sex without questions asked, yet why have they never get in touch with you? It is inferred that people want sex. It is a natural and enjoyable act since the dawn of humanity and kept us alive as a species.
So people like hobbies and pursuits? So maybe they look for something in a person that they find exciting or interesting, that draws that to them? Weird. So maybe an mutual interest in sex is not sufficient enough. God, people and their standards, am I right?
Look at this point all I can do is being a broken record so I spare us both the sermon, because if you think that filling in the blanks after "hobbies: " and "pursuits: " on a dating website, possibly with lies because it does not seem that you have anything interesting to offer, increases your chances of everyday sex then I wish you all the best in your future endeavors. Maybe in a few months or years when you have exhausted all the possibilities you will try to change your modus operandi, since just because you rrrrreeally want something does not entitle you to that thing. In brief again: You do not possess what women are looking for in quick no strings attached sex and you cannot fake that you do, not even if you put "rare sportscar collector" in your hobbies and "amassing my second million pounds before I turn 30" as your pursuit on a dating website.