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Time for another ranty thread

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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,522 Skive's The Limit
    edited March 2019
    Omggg i need help. Im not being over dramatic but my hands are soooo Faattttt. Like how did this happen over night. Chubby massive fingers. Maybe is the pills omg now i cant even take pills. But its making me really want to do something really dangerious to get rid of fat
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,522 Skive's The Limit
    edited March 2019
    Well i kinda wont be suprised if i pass out again. But dont want to pass out at work
    (Not cause of ED)-cant afford to eat anything. But my hands are very fat
    Post edited by Siena on
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    That's it. I'm going to go do something that I really, really need to, but it's very confusing and hard due to all this brain-pain. Wish me luck :grimace:
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    DancerDancer Community Champion Posts: 7,808 Master Poster
    I feel so stupid because I carried on ice skating in severe pain. At least one of my friends was supportive by hugging me and letting me rest my arm on her shoulder when we did partner spins.
    "There's a part of me I can't get back. A little girl grew up too fast. All it took was once. I'll never be the same." ~ Demi Lovato
    "The way that I have found the light in my life is through the expressive arts because I know that I will be accepted for the way I am." ~ Me
    "I'm going to get strong again and see you soon. " ~ Anonymous 
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    Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,154 Part of The Furniture
    I just wish that for this week someone could take over my care role for me , so I could get somewhat decent fucking sleep ! Any takers ? Anyone 
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,522 Skive's The Limit
    Millie2787 said:
    I just wish that for this week someone could take over my care role for me , so I could get somewhat decent fucking sleep ! Any takers ? Anyone 
    Wish i could help some way. Hope you get sleep soon!
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,522 Skive's The Limit
    Can someone suddenly get unwell from everything dairy. Pretty sure is what is happening. Which would be massive shame considering i eat a lot of ice cream in all weathers
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,154 Part of The Furniture
    Shaunie said:
    Can someone suddenly get unwell from everything dairy. Pretty sure is what is happening. Which would be massive shame considering i eat a lot of ice cream in all weathers
    You might have Abit of an intolerance to dairy or lactose Shaunie ? Don’t worry about not being able to eat things you can get diary free lactose free stuff - maybe try cutting down the amount of dairy your eating and see if that makes a difference if not try cutting it out and see if that changes anything 😊
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    I feel so tired and weak.

    It can be hard but I think I'm gonna try to catch up on sleep tonight before I collapse :lol:
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    edited April 2019
    I didn't get to spend time with Ruby tonight (I got caught up with something and thanks to this tiredness struggled to pull myself away, then when I finally managed she was asleep). It always makes me feel worse when that happens... It just makes me worried that I'm letting her down, to sum it up simply. :/

    edit: I mean, my mom says, "you think she deserves better than an owner who respects her right to snooze?". I wish that was true but naaaah I'm probably terrible. I'm terrible in general tbh - fucking walking disaster lol.
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    Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,154 Part of The Furniture
    Why the fuck so I have to fall back into bad habits - yet again I find myself crying my eyes out in the bathroom floor :( 
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,522 Skive's The Limit
    Have the worst head ache. Is probs cause have a picture of a a disgusting person in my head. And must hurt my head too 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,154 Part of The Furniture
    For one fucking night can he just not have a meltdown - one night of uninterrupted sleep is all I want 😓
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,522 Skive's The Limit
    edited April 2019
    *gets one massive headache and ends up on a site about brain tumours*. 

    Really need to stop doing that. I just read it and think " its possible"

    just finding any hope of dying and ending this
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,522 Skive's The Limit
    Umm not really a rant but dont want to start a thread and dk where to put this. But is it just my phone or has the layout changed ah?
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,522 Skive's The Limit
    Im not too keen tbh. Liked it better before
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    Oh fuck's sake... I just fell asleep for about an hour (I mean, I am exhuasted, so no surprise). The downside is that now idk if Ruby's drank anything while I was passed out lol. I guess the only thing I can do is check the water level and ask my dad.
    Well, if today will be stressful and you know it clap your hands *clap clap*
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    Oh my gooooood. I've drank three hot chocolates from 2am to just now. I think I may be just a little bit tired and cold... Have also snacked a fair bit lol.

    In other news, that veganism is going a bit slow... :expressionless: But oh well, I guess buying and drinking soya milk instead of cow's milk makes a difference, even if I'm still sort of having other diary products. I wish I could just be vegetarian like I am now but I just don't wanna encourage cruelty.

    Um what else... It doesn't look like Ruby's water has gone down and idk when to call that a problem. I still dk if I'm taking her to the vets. I'll go talk to my dad about it now I guess....... I just want a healthy and happy Ruby. I just have no clue what's going on with this teeth stuff.

    Rant over.
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,522 Skive's The Limit
    edited April 2019
    People speak about how shit the NHS is ..... the nhs is great and so are the people. Its just under funded. You are under the MH and have been for years and see someone and still say you have no support..... atleast not been discharged ffs.  I have not as near as much support as other people do . Im great ful for it all and glad i dont pay the ways other countries do and grateful for supportive had & so should other people be instead of making the nhs sound like its ALL full of shit workers. Some maybe not the best/say the best things but not all of them
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,522 Skive's The Limit
    I downloaded that app that says who ends up unfollowing you on instagram and it says 7 people have blocked me :((((why would they block me. I havent spoken to them for years. Idk if this stuff is accurate but guess it probably is. 
    Can it just mean they deleted their account i don’t know. But no reason they block me - unfollow me because i hardly post & dont speak to them- yeah but not block:///
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    ugh I'm going to try to take a nap. I'm not good at them so I probably won't succeed, but for all I know I won't get to have much sleep tonight and I'm going to get ill with exhaustion at this rate. :/
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    AbigailAbigail Posts: 818 Part of The Mix Family
    Ffs bloody budget cuts are coming to my college, thinking about the 3 colleges in the group I really hope my safe guarding support worker isnt dropped she is the only one who understand me and I feel safe with and with my 1-2-1 tutor. For fuck sacks!!!
    Some people think I am unhappy. I'm not. I just approach silence in the world that never stops talking.
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    Ruby was napping again so didn't get to spend time with her again. I feel I'm letting her down soooo much. But to the point of this post - I'm so exhausted and can't wait to go to sleep. But, on the other hand, I have to sort Ruby out for the night before I can do that, which I'm scared to do. Idk I'm just scared I'll find her dying or some ridiculous thing like that.
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    Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,154 Part of The Furniture
    edited April 2019
    Fuckkk I’m so much pain but I don’t have the time to be ill - I’m sure there just growing pains but Lordy they hurt 
    Post edited by Millie2787 on
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    edited April 2019
    I feel kinda paranoid lately. Like people are angry at me or about to hate me. I keep reading smiley faces as sarcastic or a lack of exclaimation marks as really displeased. Feel I need to shut up. Idk why. Don't be surprised if I end up disappearing from here for a few days because of it.

    Edit: And for example, my mom emailed me just now but replaced "fuck" with "F". We're both okay with swearing so now I have a very slight paranoia that it's not actually her who emailed.

    2nd edit: wtf this sucks. Maybe I had bad dreams or something idk. Everything feels kind of doomy and unwelcoming. It's only a slight feeling so I don't think I'm completely losing the plot yet lol, but it still sucks.
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    Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,154 Part of The Furniture
    Ughhh they still don’t know what’s wrong , it’s not a UTI but she said she’s going to ring me Sunday morning and if they pain hasn’t gone with keeping ontop of paracetamol and fluids then she’ll decide what to do so that’s gonna be interesting when I’m in London. She said when she was having a feel that she could feel a fullness almost like a cyst on my ovary and now I’m scared , because mum has had problems with that before 😥
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,522 Skive's The Limit
    Omggg sometimes i really do hate myself and am a horrible person and i think world would be better without me
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    Shaunie said:
    Omggg sometimes i really do hate myself and am a horrible person and i think world would be better without me
    You make the world better Shaunie <3
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    JustVJustV Community Manager Posts: 5,319 Part of The Furniture
    When the card machine swallows your card, you go into the bank, and they tell you it's been shredded. This was my interaction with the bank teller:

    "Hi, I used the cash machine outside and it took my card."
    "Oh, it's probably shredded it."

    Brilliant.
    The truth resists simplicity.
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    Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,154 Part of The Furniture
    When you cook yes for everyone to find out there’s not enough so you have to have none - Yoghurt and granola pot it is then 
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
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