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Time for another ranty thread

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    Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,147 Part of The Furniture
    Shaunie said:
    Omggg can someone please help me if you have applied for an enhanced DBS check------

    Cause no ones replying to me email lol. Dont suppose anyone can remember

    do you have to have a paper copy with your provisional driving lience????  Is a card copy of provional okay???

    did you use any letter for a proof of address or does it have to be bank statement or soemthingg. 

    Helppp
    @Shaunie when I applied for mine I used a bank statement , my birth certificate and I had to get a letter form my school Becuase I didn’t have a passport but On thé Gov website it says for the card copy of your driving license and you can use provisional, here’s he link incase you want to check anything https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/dbs-identity-checking-guidelines/id-checking-guidelines-for-dbs-check-applications-from-3-september-2018#three-routes-of-id-checking
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    My dad was saying last night how maybe my throat will heal, it will just take time. And I started saying, "but I haven't got forever. Let's say it takes three years for my throat to heal properly, and then it takes three years to learn how to sing...", and then I realised that I'd only be 20 by the time I could go off and be a singer, so that's not a load of time wasted... Lol. If my throat ever does get better. And if so, I imagine it will take less time than three years :/

    I've also been watching guitar covers of songs I love on youtube. And wow, okay - it's pretty rad. I wouldn't mind being the guitarist in a band, actually. Which feels reassuring, because even if my throat never heals and I can't become a singer, it won't get in the way of playing guitar. So I can kind of set out in the direction to do both - as in, I start learning and practicing the guitar, and if my throat gets better, I'll see about learning and practicing singing. Then I have a few options. If I get to learn both, I can choose a preference and decide to play that role, or if I like both of them, I can play either role in a band, therefore increasing my chances of getting into one. And if I can't learn both... Well, I learned one, so I can still play that role.

    My only concern about the guitar... Is that I'm scared I'll never be able to do it. Because when I've tried, my hand sometimes has trouble stretching, and I can't play certain chords and stuff. But I haven't spent a lot of time practicing it at all - so I'd assume that with practice, I could play it, right? Especially if maybe I try to stick with guitars that have a slightly thinner neck. Idk, it's just hard to shake off the doubt and not give up. But it's not like my fingers are abnormally small anyway. I'd imagine most people could get good at the guitar if they put the work in. If I could learn to play piano, surely I can do the guitar, right?

    Though another thing is that I'm not 100% sure if I want to try the guitar, or the bass. They both seem cool. The thing is... Less people learn the bass, I think, so I might have a higher chance with getting in a band and stuff. And the bass is cool. But the guitar is more of the leading instrument, guitarists sometimes get more attention and tend to write the majority of the music (but not always). Then I wonder which will be easier long-term. The bass only has four strings, but they're tougher and thicker and I don't think there's any difference in neck width. The guitar has easier strings, but there's more of them (and you're usually playing multiple strings at a time). So altogether, I guess it depends on what I want more. I think I have a slight preference to guitar. But then maybe the bass would actually turn out better for me. I'm not sure - I'm thinking of going to a music shop and having a go at holding both instruments, and try to see what's better.

    Well, anyway... If I CAN learn the guitar, I feel slightly less trapped now :)

    Though another concern, just about being a musician... I need to look into different jobs as well, because there's a good chance I'll need one. Because A, I won't be able to make a living as a musician and so will need to make money another way, or B, because I just won't be a musician. I have my heart fairly set on musician, but I just have some concerns - 'cause it sounds like a tough job, in some aspects. It sounds like there can be a lot of pressure in the music industry. So you've got to determine if it's worth any of that. I don't know if it is for me... I lean towards "yes". But still a bit unsure. Um... But I can't think of any other career. I think I want a job in music, or in helping others. I've considered being a doctor or a vet, but seriously? That has a lot of potential pressure, too. And I just don't have the passion to go through all that training. So may as well follow my dreams and choose musician. So... I'm trying to think of other jobs that I'd really like to do, that don't require years and years of training, that will get me enough money, and that don't hold too much pressure. I'd consider counsellor, but to be honest I'm scared I'll get yelled at a lot because of people's trauma/anger/etc.. I'd have to get more confident before I could do something like that. Maybe a job where I can help people with my experience would be cool, dk what ones to do with that would be out there.

    I'm SO sorry for that. It was hardly even a rant, more of a ramble. Sorry lol.
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    Well, I tried... To see Ruby, I mean... I did stand around in the kitchen for about half an hour and approached her hutch several times, but she was more interested in dozing. I'm still a terrible fucking owner lol, but I tried I guess.
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    Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,147 Part of The Furniture
    Just have to mess everything up ,great going me 
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
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    Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,147 Part of The Furniture
    My sleep is doing my head in now constantly waking through the night this time :( 
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    edited April 2019
    Just had awful sleep at my sisters house. Teddy didnt like it so was constantly waking me up by licking my face & crying. 

    & have work cause contracted bank hoildays 😒😒😒
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    DancerDancer Community Champion Posts: 7,795 Master Poster

    I hate myself and sometimes wish I was never born. I am safe though. Why do I have to feel so upset? Hugs please.

    "There's a part of me I can't get back. A little girl grew up too fast. All it took was once. I'll never be the same." ~ Demi Lovato
    "The way that I have found the light in my life is through the expressive arts because I know that I will be accepted for the way I am." ~ Me
    "I'm going to get strong again and see you soon. " ~ Anonymous 
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    When within an hour your mom, dad, and sibling have all suggested seeing a doctor. Lol. I'm in a very, very dark  and horrible place over here. Omg I feel weird and uncomfortable and scared and utterly hopeless and sad and unlovable and miserable and suicidal and desperate and basically all the fun stuff. Holy hell. This is what I call torture.
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    edited April 2019
    Omg this is so weird right. I was speaking to someone when i was waiting for the bus. Like he was just asking me general questions and stuff. It was after going to reocery college when i handed in my ID and was near the bus stop for the MH health. he said hes a patietint at the MH place and stuff and spoke about it

    (thats not the weird part) weird part is that he has some how found me on facebook and added me:///. I cant remember saying my name. And even if i did its not even spelt the way it should so it would be hard to find me
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,147 Part of The Furniture
    Ughhhh literally no sleep still , I’ve got such a stressful busy week I attucally going to be so shattered !
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    *** bit graphic and disgusting. But its my body lol cant change what it does***



    Every morning get brown discharge and have been for like weeks now and not getting my period. I do know it is normal to get brown discharge start of your period as old blood and all. So thats why hvent thouht much about it. & ive just been thinking every morning am going to be on my period and stuff. But yeah dont so then think tomorrow then ect. Now ive just realise its been weeks and got through so much liners loland still not on period. It is definelty not my period. Surely thats not normal.

    This is probs why im so hormonal lol

    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    Waiting for crisis messager to text back. Fml. Im such a fuck up. Why cant i be normall. Trying to not do anything but i think im too sad and stressed to deal 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    Shaunie said:
    Waiting for crisis messager to text back. Fml. Im such a fuck up. Why cant i be normall. Trying to not do anything but i think im too sad and stressed to deal 
    Hugs <3
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    Crisis messanger doesnt help me anymore. Tbh. Just want someone to listen to why im suicidal without them saying okay - then asking to talk about a safety plan or what helps. Teddy helps and i have a safety plan but clearly not working hence why i just want to speak to someone about suicidal thoughts. 

    Ill just take one promethazine and use as sedative 

    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    AifeAife Community Manager Posts: 3,031 Boards Guru
    edited April 2019
    We're here to listen @Shaunie. I know there's a few limits of what we can talk about with our guidelines, but we can still try and support you. I'm sorry Crisis Messenger haven't been too helpful today <3
    Maybe somethings don't get better, but we do. We get stronger. We learn to live with our situations as messy and ugly as they are. We fix what we can and we adapt to what we can't. Maybe some of us will never fully be okay, but at least we're here. We're still trying. We're doing the best we can. That's worth celebrating too ❤
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    My sibling takes the piss :rage: Ugh sorry I moan about them so much. But I'm not joking when I say that I get scared when they're near by or in a mood. 'Cause they always yell and bitch and slam stuff. Complete spoiled and bullying brat if you ask me.
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    edited April 2019
    Christ my home life can be sooooo stressful. Honestly I think it plays a factor in all my struggles today. And doesn't help right now either. :rage:
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    Lol. Am I a horrible person?

    I'm currently telling my sibling how fucking rude they are. It won't change their bloody behaviour but... Well, my dad and mom aren't doing a fucking thing. And I'm so sick of it. So someone has to tell them I guess. They're just being self-pitying now. And I'm probs being harsher than necessary. But they're such a narrow-minded and selfish brat.

    I swear lol. It's not fair in my opinion. My dad just walks on eggshells around them and puts up with it. I swear if I acted like that I'd get yelled at. When I had genuine bad anger problems a few years back, I'd lash out - I regretted it while doing it and it was the result of struggling. And I got called "a bully" and all sorts constantly. I'm not at all excusing my behaviour. But my genuine struggling got shamed, and my sibling's stupid tantrums are forgiven and ignored. Do you think that's fair?? I mean maybe I'm wrong. But it seems unfair to me. And my sibling's behaviour genuinely stresses and scares me and it won't prove any good for them either.

    And I'm gonna have a brutally honest word with my dad about it lol. I've told him to stop accepting their behaviour. But I'm going to actually talk with him about it. And maybe my mom too. Lol. Everyone's probably thinking that I shouldn't be acting like this but wtf.
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    10 mins of sitting in the garden and my arms hurt and are red already. Lol. ( i aint ginger) ha. Just pale and sensitive
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,147 Part of The Furniture
    @shaunie I’m the same I literally don’t tan I go straight to burning and im not even ginger 
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
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    AbigailAbigail Posts: 818 Part of The Mix Family
    Oh my fucking God!! Why are people setting fireworks at Easter!!! This is so bloody annoying!! So my hair is half brushed and I'm sat with my headphones on to try and calm down I'm not happy one bit!! 
    Some people think I am unhappy. I'm not. I just approach silence in the world that never stops talking.
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    Tooo tired to go to work:(((. Like my legs feel not connected and like theyre going to fall off. I was   going to walk but yeah cant be bothered for that. Just 4 hours but feels like 4 days. And i feel really pathetic ever since i had my return to work thing and my hands was shaking so bad from anxiety. And i can just imagine that is something he will tell the other managers and they make fun of it. Cause they can be bitchy
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    I tried showing my long 2-5am ramble with my mom... And yeah, I didn't think she'd be of much help or understanding. Now I just feel awkward for being so genuine.

    But it's probably gonna be even more awkward to share it with my dad. Also I feel bad for wasting people's time lol.

    Idk. I just need some kind of advice. But I guess I'm better off keeping it to myself. I'll find the answers. I hope... There may just be no answers to look for. But I guess I have to try to trust that there are, otherwise I'm def going nowhere.

    Oh ignore me.
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    My parents should've used a condom :/
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    I don't know why I bother trying to talk to people about what I'm going through. They always just misunderstand what I'm saying, say things that just make me feel worse, give me a reaction that makes me feel way more uncomfortable, or I just don't feel able to communicate properly with them. I just feel like being alone and sobbing and sleeping. There's no point.

    Uggh but there's no point in anything. Not in life itself. Everything's hopeless and I'm so distressed and I just want to be allowed to rest in peace.
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    Its hard to breath:(((
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    kathleen0172 said:
    My parents should've used a condom :/
    :(. Youre lovely and im glad youre alive. And know you may not glad now - when you feel so low - so maybe i sound selfish lol but i hope one day you will be glad too.  And i do hope that agree by Abigail was by accident. - it very likely it was. I dont think anyone on here hates you (readin your profile thing). Post how much you want. We are here to help you <3
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    edited April 2019
    .
    [sorry. I keep deleting comments lately]
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    Fmll was writing a new disccusion and all delete
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    edited April 2019
    My sister says how negative people are at her job. Think its rubbed onto her fml.

    Selfish. But how can i feel better when full of negative people
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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