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Time for another ranty thread

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  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,493 Skive's The Limit
    edited March 2019
    Omgggg i keep feeling so suddenly unwell at night. Like i start to feel hot and then my mouth fills up with water and hurts the sides of my jaw -if youve ever had that feeling is horrible and feels like im about to be sick but dont. And that was probably too much info 🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,493 Skive's The Limit
    edited March 2019
    Part of me just wants to be told i am going to die of heart failure. I mean i have already been told that if carry on doing what i am doing i will get something like that. 
    i mean they can say that and then i say how i don’t know how - physically dont know how to stop - not once have they even given me advice on how to. They probs want me dead

    They make it sound like its my chioce still when i am pretty sure if i stop i will end up dead. I do want to die but not that way tbh. 

    So i just turn to stuff on the internet that says i should take less and less and eat more fibre and not to stop taking them suddenly. Or take less suddenly. Which have been trying to do. 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,493 Skive's The Limit
    edited March 2019
    Um so i was speaking to my sister about what she wants to do with her life - she brang it back onto me and asked what happens if i was to be successful in getting into peer support worker training and becoming one and what sort things do they do - i just said from what i know - they just work in sectors of mental health in nhs and use lived expereince of mental health to help others and listen to them or support them with their goals and recovery. So then my sister was like - "thats what i wanna do. how would i get into something like that" - i said youd probably have to go uni since after training the level you start at is  a Level 4 which is like the first year of uni. 

    So then she goes like oh - then jokely said - shall i go to my gp (and say she has mental health issues). Then she was like " i probably have something" she did say kinda jokely then i said  - ah yeah we probably all do. But tbh i don’t know if she was being serious or not. You cant just pretend you have a mental illness for a job. But then i don’t know maybe she was actually telling me shes struggling. 

    No idea 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,146 Part of The Furniture
    @shauine could you maybe ask her later on if anything’s bothering her and if she wants to talk your there so if there’s anything wrong might encourage to open up ? 
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,493 Skive's The Limit
    edited March 2019
    Millie2787 said:
    @shauine could you maybe ask her later on if anything’s bothering her and if she wants to talk your there so if there’s anything wrong might encourage to open up ? 
    I dont think she even ever said that to me and im the one with mental health issues lol. I mean we are close dk just our family doesnt speak about how we feel that much.  But maybe ill start that.

    Ah thanks
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,146 Part of The Furniture
    I’m so fucking tired of all of this now , why can’t I just go one night without all these thoughts and why the hell do my teachers have to expect so much of me , like I cannot do it yet it’s all you ever ask of me that nothing is every good enough becuase clearly I’m not good enough for anyone ! 
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,493 Skive's The Limit
    edited March 2019
    Omggg ive made 33 posts today. Do i need a life lol
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,493 Skive's The Limit
    edited March 2019
    Some things i see on instagram....Cant help but think some people like being mentally ill. 

    I try hard to not be mentally ill ahh

    Now i do definetly understand why in my mental health awareness corse we learn about whats in "trend" and "fashionable" and thatself harm is for some with being mentally ill.

     Nothing glamorous about it

    bit weird and messed up if ask me

     🤷🏻‍♀️
    Post edited by Siena on
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,146 Part of The Furniture
    Why feel the need to talk about really triggering topics in the room where people with anxiety go to in college , they weren’t even talking quietly 
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    I've got a couple of bad habits (the particularly bad one I won't share just in case it's breaking guidelines), and I'm trying to break them but it's sooooo hard :expressionless: Still I can't give up.
  • BubblesGoesBooBubblesGoesBoo Posts: 3,590 Community Veteran
    When you're so anti-social you have to find out from fb your neighbours moved out today :neutral:
    ' So I put a bullet where I shouda put a helmet, and I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away, that's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself 'hey, I wanna get better''  
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,493 Skive's The Limit
    I swear i cant live with my sister anymore 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 all she does is moan at me 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭. She shouts FUCKING LAZY   All the fucking time. 

    CANT NOT FUCKING STAND IT SO I PUSH HER AND SHUT THE FUCK UP CALLING ME LAZY AND THEN I ATTEMpted to throw a hair brush at her but it missed her and hit the wall and now the wall has a dent in it and now my dad is going to kill me.

     She told me to calm and that she was joking. CALLING ME LAZY 247  IS NOT JOKE ANYMORE 
    IT IS FUCKING HORRIBLE TO LIVE WITH WHEN I FEEL SO DEPRESSED ALREADY. 

    Now she has gone and sent a message on tbe grouo chat in which my older sister and her husband is in about how ive made a dent in the wall in the living room in which is in an obvious place. 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    @Shaunie oh that sounds really hard for you :( I've had my fair share of siblings being hard to live with. Hope she stops being like that x
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,493 Skive's The Limit
    kathleen0172 said:
    @Shaunie oh that sounds really hard for you :( I've had my fair share of siblings being hard to live with. Hope she stops being like that x
    Shes getting worse. Either that or i am noticing it more. 

    Now i look like a psycho on the group chat. She sent them a picture of the dent and said its massive and it was because she was joking about somethingg. Ummm DONT THINK THAY IS THE WHOLE FUCKING PICTURE HUN. FUCKING ASSHOLE. I AM LAZY BUT I AM ALSO DEPRESSED AND CANT FUCKING STAND BEING MADE TO FEEL SO MUCH WORSE. FELT LIKE HURTIN HER MORE THAN JUST PUSHING HER
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    Shaunie said:
    kathleen0172 said:
    @Shaunie oh that sounds really hard for you :( I've had my fair share of siblings being hard to live with. Hope she stops being like that x
    Shes getting worse. Either that or i am noticing it more. 

    Now i look like a psycho on the group chat. She sent them a picture of the dent and said its massive and it was because she was joking about somethingg. Ummm DONT THINK THAY IS THE WHOLE FUCKING PICTURE HUN. FUCKING ASSHOLE. I AM LAZY BUT I AM ALSO DEPRESSED AND CANT FUCKING STAND BEING MADE TO FEEL SO MUCH WORSE. FELT LIKE HURTIN HER MORE THAN JUST PUSHING HER
    Yeesh! That's awful of her. It's totally understandable that it hurts you :pensive: For what it's worth I don't think you're lazy at all bud. Depressed is very different from lazy. <3
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,493 Skive's The Limit
    I have my mental health awareness corse today & i am just so tired & sad
     i dont want to go 😭😭😭😭😭😭. & i don’t know how im going to fix the dent in the wall
     my family are moaning so much 😭😭
    killl me
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • AifeAife Community Manager Posts: 3,031 Boards Guru
    Shaunie said:
    I have my mental health awareness corse today & i am just so tired & sad
     i dont want to go 😭😭😭😭😭😭. & i don’t know how im going to fix the dent in the wall
     my family are moaning so much 😭😭
    killl me
    Hope it goes okay today @Shaunie <3
    Maybe somethings don't get better, but we do. We get stronger. We learn to live with our situations as messy and ugly as they are. We fix what we can and we adapt to what we can't. Maybe some of us will never fully be okay, but at least we're here. We're still trying. We're doing the best we can. That's worth celebrating too ❤
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    Lol. I just called my sibling out for being so rude and mean and snappy. They refused to admit to it and are arguing with me, but they seem to be struggling to think of a defense ahah. For their sake as well as everyone else's someone has to call them out.
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,146 Part of The Furniture
     Everything just gets blamed on me and I’m tired and fed up with it . My friends trying to make out I said I don’t want to be friends anymore when all I said is I think you need space from me and now apparently I’m the reason she “broke her nose “. Just Fuck off ! I say you needed space from me out of kindness as it wasn’t fair I was around you when I was like this ! 
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    uggh. I got Ruby out to weigh her and the fucking scales were too small (I told you they were, dad. :lol:) Oh well, at least I got to put that cream on her legs - though now I'll be on edge today in case something bad happens with that somehow... :expressionless:
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,493 Skive's The Limit
    edited March 2019
    I keep brushing my teeth all the time and i don’t know why. Maybe its because i always dream about my teeth falling out & paraniod since purging. 

    But i normally brush my teeth 3 times a day now. But now is about 4/5 and i want to brush my teeth after everything i eat & my sister thinks im weird. 
    and at work i was just wanting to brush my teeth eventho i didnt have a tooth brush and no where to do it & it definetly would Be bit weird. 

    Not that its a bad thing to want to brush teeth all time but i barely have money for food let alone load of tooth paste lol
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,146 Part of The Furniture
    @shaunie could you just maybe brush them with water ( obvs expect the 2 a day with toothpaste ) ? That way your brushing then but not using loads of toothpaste 
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,493 Skive's The Limit
    Millie2787 said:
    @shaunie could you just maybe brush them with water ( obvs expect the 2 a day with toothpaste ) ? That way your brushing then but not using loads of toothpaste 
    Omg yeah. I didnt think of that will probs do that thanks @Millie2787
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    @Shaunie I feel like I should warn you in case you didn't know lol - brushing teeth excessively can do more harm than good sometimes, so I've heard. Hopefully that doesn't make you feel worse, I'm so sorry if it did!
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,493 Skive's The Limit
    kathleen0172 said:
    @Shaunie I feel like I should warn you in case you didn't know lol - brushing teeth excessively can do more harm than good sometimes, so I've heard. Hopefully that doesn't make you feel worse, I'm so sorry if it did!
    I was actually just thinking this jsut now
    @kathleen0172
    I was just thinking my gums are hurting and then i was thinking its probs cause of my wisdom teeth growing and like min ago i jsut thought omg maybe i am doing it too much aha. Guess that will put me off getting obsessed with it and save money aha
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    Oh damn, the clocks are going forward tonight, aren't they? Lucky me. I really needed that extra hour of sleep. Lol. What's even the point in them going forward/back? I vote we ban it - it's confusing and unnecessary imo.

    Also, it'll be so hilarious if it turns out my throat can't get better and I've fucked up my own future (okay, well, I think I'll be way more suicidal and let down than amused - even if the situation itself is sort of funny).

    Third thing, jesus, my life is fucked. Or maybe not - seems more fucked up than the average life though. It hasn't been a good life, that's for sure anyway.

    I'm sorry, rant over :joy:
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,146 Part of The Furniture
    Can’t believe your still trying to make out this is my fault ! You rang my tutor on me and didn’t tell me you did so don’t you dare say this is my fault ! 
    Ughh i give up with everyone fed up of being blamed all the time 
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,493 Skive's The Limit
    edited March 2019
    Wtfff is wrong with peopleee

    omggg why is some guy sending me pictures of his self harming saying i dont care that much if my replies are slow and i never want to meet him again and that he will self harm again and find something sharper. Omggg that is not my problem. - by that i dont mean i dont care. But you cant make people feel bad for what you do. And now he is making out like he is going to kil himself now. You cant put that on someone
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,493 Skive's The Limit
    Fml i am gaining weight so fast & i am eating nothing 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • DancerDancer Community Champion Posts: 7,783 Master Poster
    My arm hurts so fucking much. I think I fractured my elbow. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 Two fucking days before my fucking pe assessment. Thanks to an ice skater forcing me to suddenly crash into the barrier. I didn't make it and fell and landed very hard on my arm. Bloody stupid Kasa. 
    @The Mix Sorry for all the swearing but I am in a lot of pain and angry at myself. 
    "There's a part of me I can't get back. A little girl grew up too fast. All it took was once. I'll never be the same." ~ Demi Lovato
    "The way that I have found the light in my life is through the expressive arts because I know that I will be accepted for the way I am." ~ Me
    "I'm going to get strong again and see you soon. " ~ Anonymous 
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