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fathers at the birth
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
without going into the finer details...i dont want the father of my baby at the birth.
do i legally have to tell him when i go into labour? and do i have to let him come in at the birth?
do i legally have to tell him when i go into labour? and do i have to let him come in at the birth?
0
Comments
No.
I don't think there is any legal requirement to have him there or tell him you are in labour. Is there even any legal right to recognise him as the father?!
There will be soon thankfully. Not sure if the legislation's come in yet though.
in some countries men are banned from being in the delivery room
They are.
http://www.dad.info/fatherhood/news/2nd-june-2008-unmarried-fathers-to-be-on-the-birth-certificate-by-law/
He wouldnt be able to hold that against you. Its absolutely your right, and hes incredibly unlikely to be able to get custody.
A lot of men threaten that when they get pissed off but it hardly ever comes to fruition because the fact of the matter is your baby will be best off with you.
Dont worry about it!!
I feel sick at the thought of someone feeling they have to have someone at the birth that they dont even want there. Its your time. You need to be as comfortable as you can. You sound really worried about it
It doesnt mention when that law comes into effect.
You may well still have the current law in place by the time your baby is born which means that he wont be able to be named on the birth certificate unless he goes with you to register the baby (since youre not married)
Just dont tell him when you go.
I know.
Whenever that is.
Good idea though.
:yes: If you dont want him there, then its your choice. Make sure you tell your family/midwife in no uncertain terms as well.
Actually as a man I think this is utterly shit advice. Fair enough, don't have him come in to the hospital or be present at the birth, but to not tell a bloke when his kid is about to be born is absolutely shocking.
x2
EDIT: Whether he's going to be in the room is up to you alone, in either case.
If you didn't want him at the birth I don't see why you couldn't tell him afterwards. I dunno though, I'm no expert!
If you really don't want him there then you don't have to have him there it is entierly your choice who you have with you while you give birth! Jst let the staff on the ward know when you go in
I dont see why.
Hes told her he wants to take her baby away. Sounds like a complete cunt to me. If someone told me that, theyd be lucky if i even told them anything.
Its reasonable that she would mention that the baby had been born, but her labour is none of his business, especially if hes likely to kick off or start expecting to be watching the show
exactly, and if you suspect he might kick off, then its not a good idea to tell him in advance as that just makes more work for the hospital staff or the midwives, and isnt going to be conducive to the relaxing atmosphere that you need.
Didnt you say you wanted a home birth too. You certainly dont want anyone unexpected knocking on your door while youre in full swing labour, i can guarantee that.
But anyway I stand by my original point I think that it's up to blonde__batman because it's her baby and her body. She can give birth in a barn in bavaria for all the father wants. Although I would object to her doing a runner with the baby.
And SCC, he didn't say he wanted to steal her baby, he said he wanted custody of the child not exactly the same thing, a child isn't property really. Anyway, its not really an issue, he's a guy, he wont get custody. But I think any parent if at all possible would want custody, father or mother.
i have a new partner who will be there at the birth along with my mum and i dont want him there at all.
i just wasnt sure if i HAD to tell him i'd gone into labour or not
he hasnt wanted to know a thing about it until my new partner came on the scene and im sure is now only being 'interested' to be a twat and make things hard for me
does sound a bit of a plonker. I don't think you're obligated to have him at the birth especially so if it's stressful for you. You should be worrying about you and the baby and not much else. However, putting my Jeremy Kyle hat on, I would say he needs to be given a chance to be a dad once the kid is born. If he fucks up fair enough but he is the biological father and should have the same right to be a dad (or at least given the chance) - it's for the kids sake after all as having two (or three) loving parents is ultimately going to be better than having one.
Best of luck with the birth and don't get too stressed out about it - well I know that's difficult I guess but he's extra tripe you don't need to be worrying about .
oh i totally agree, i am not going to stop him from seeing the baby but if he messes me about or doesnt come when we agree etc etc then i will stop him and take it through court if need be cos its not fair on the baby to have someone popping in and out of its life and it certaintly doesnt need some stranger popping up after 6 months cos it wont have a clue who he is!
:thumb:
for the time being though just forget about him as much as you can as obviously it's a stressful situation and concentrate on your own wellbeing and your birth preparations or whatever (I really don't know what happens lol, do you go to breathing classes? )
:thumb:
not until november but he just wont let it go! i just want peace until the baby comes but every day he is pestering us!
Or is he close enough to keep knocking on your door if you don't answer his calls?