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Two years is a long time, and it's become part of your life. Self-harming is an addiction like any other, and like with many addicts, there is a fear of giving up the addiction. It almost feels like you'll lose part of your personality, and stop being yourself.
When you're ready to stop you will stop, because you won't feel the ened to do it anymore. Talking to the doctor and trying to get therapy for it will help you reach this stage- I haven't cut for 22 months now, and therapy probably has quite a bit to do with it.
scar treatments
Heh. That is like, so me:(
I've been going two years, and it's fucking hard to be truly honest. Always have to fudge things in order to protect myself and/or every bugger else.
*sigh*
Think we did it cause we will both be going to uni an it was away of feelin connected forever or something but aaaaa.
and i wouldn't class that as self harm.
~Anya
Whilst I'm here, have any of you guys been on ads, come off them, and gone back on two years later? I think I could do with giving something else a try but put it off because I tried both Sertraline and Citalopram in the past and neither helped. Since both have now been banned for under-18s that could explain it, so I thought I should talk to my GP but I'm not 100% sure. Any ideas?
Incidentally, sorry if this seems the wrong place for this but didn't think it warranted a new thread.
Keep on doing your talking therapy though, for that will be the most valuable to you.
Take care
Susie x
I would just like to say how shocked I am by how many people are on anti-depressants/self-harm.
It's the internet, innit?
As for the ADs, I'm alarmed at how much doctors seem to hand them out like sweets, with no further thought. A friend was put on fluoxetine even though she said she felt nothing; putting someone who attempted suicide because she felt nothing on a drug that makes you feel nothing really was a masterstroke :thumb:
I feel terrible and I don't know why. I'm really low, I can't stop crying, I feel pathetic. I walked out of a two and half hour exam in my best subject in floods because I couldn't understand a word on the paper. That's not me, I don't know what happened. I've been feeling suicidal again and I find it so hard to talk to "real" people (no offence! ).
My friends want to help but I feel bad because whatever I tell them they fret or get upset. How can I do that when I care about them?
I don't mean this to sound flippant or melodramatic, I don't know how it sounds to other people, but I needed to get it off my chest. Anyhoo, I am going to see a GP (not my regular one) again at the request of my friends. They want me to be back on anti-depressants, but I'll talk it through with her I guess.
Sorry about this. Thanks all.
And whilst you are talking to your GP, talk to your university or college about your problems and see how you can go about getting dispensation. If a GP says that depression is affecting your performance then that would probably be enough to have your problems taken into account when the marking is done.
Channel 4 Self Harm
Didn't think you would have.
There's no point in doing badly when you can ahve all the shit taken into account. I've had all mine taken into account, and am doing again; my uni have been great, I've had a lot fo problems doing formative essays and they've just said to not bother if I can't.
What makes you start cutting in the first place. I mean, surely you know how bad it is before you do it, and have heard other people's stories. How does that first cut occur?
The pain and the hatred makes it seem appealing; you know it;'s goingt o hurt, it's what the whole point of it is.
It's something that can only ever be explained to someone who has been there and done it; unless you have, it's impossible to explain the depth of feeling that causes it.
The pain is nice, the damage and destruction is nice, watching the blood trickle down your arm is nice. It works to get rid of pain and anger, and it works if you don't feel anything at all. But it is a very nice experience, and that is why it becomes an addiction that can be very difficult to break unless the feelings triggering it subside or disappear.
hell you explained that well.
It is a lot easier to explain the way you are feeling and what emotions you go through and why you do it to someone who has felt it all themselves. Unless you've been there, you can't fully understand.
Actually for me, nowadays I mean, I usually think of it first of all, before any more rational thoughts enter my mind. But in my early days of self-harm... not sure. I think about it all the time tho. Not about wanting to "make myself bleed" specifically, just wanting to feel physical pain as a form of punishment really. Sometimes I cut, sometimes I scald. The net result is much the same.
And I almost wish that I didn't have the experience to do that.
But so it goes- without the scars I wouldn't be who I am now.