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[OLD] The 'I need a hug' thread - please read first post before posting :)

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    Mel_Mel_ Posts: 574 Incredible Poster
    I self harmed where I haven't done in over 10 years and honestly already regret doing it there ugh now It takes extra effort to try and hide it....
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    joyajoya Posts: 220 Trailblazer
    Mel_ said:
    I self harmed where I haven't done in over 10 years and honestly already regret doing it there ugh now It takes extra effort to try and hide it....
    Send you huge hugs love 💙 
    everything always goes ^^
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    Mel_Mel_ Posts: 574 Incredible Poster
    joya said:
    Mel_ said:
    I self harmed where I haven't done in over 10 years and honestly already regret doing it there ugh now It takes extra effort to try and hide it....
    Send you huge hugs love 💙 
    Thank you x
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,522 Skive's The Limit
    Really suicidal rn
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,522 Skive's The Limit
    Just wasting my life away. It’s sad. I don’t know the point anymore
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    AriannaArianna Posts: 77 Budding Regular
    It’s just a lot right now. Like. Shit happens but then other shit doesn’t stop happening. It all happens at once. It’s just a lot and I’m kind of exhausted.
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    GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    Just have to keep telling myself.. they are not worth it
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,522 Skive's The Limit
    tkdog said:
    My dog passed away yesterday
    I’m so sorry for your loss <3
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 8,647 Legendary Poster
    I’m just feeling so fed up. 
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
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    _Tech_Addict_Girl_Tech_Addict_Girl Posts: 1,489 Wise Owl
    i need to talk :s
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    _AJ__AJ_ Posts: 117 The Mix Convert
    i had to go into A&E over the weekend for my mental health and am feeling really upset and anxious still. I just haven't calmed down and am scared it got that bad. x
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    tkdogtkdog Posts: 281 The Mix Regular
    edited August 2020
    My dad got angry with me for no reason in restaurant, just because he was about to send the digital order through but i said i hadn't yet then he blamed it on me and not choosing sooner. But i was waiting fo him to choose his order. And then he shouted very loud so everyone can hear and even hit me in the arm. Literally did nothing. He was also like do you want to eat or not. Like ofc i do 
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,522 Skive's The Limit
    TRIGGERWARNING 

    just self harmed. Which is brill cause have work @ 2 and i don’t know if it need to be looked at. I don’t think so but yeah fml I hope not 


    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 8,647 Legendary Poster
    On top of everything else that’s going on, two of the people I’m closest to are being investigated for major concerns about their health. I don’t think I’ve ever been more stressed 
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,522 Skive's The Limit
    Hugs everyone <3
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,522 Skive's The Limit
    So tired. Soo fed up of it
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    Feeling really deflated and the anxiety of returning to work properly is starting to really kick in
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,522 Skive's The Limit
    edited August 2020
    TW
    Self harmed again. Dunno why becoming more frequent. Going to need to buy more first aid stuff 🤕
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,522 Skive's The Limit
    Never seen a tiktok so relatable 
    TW

    https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJkT1Nct/
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    AriannaArianna Posts: 77 Budding Regular
    edited August 2020
    Essay here. Sorry. It might go on my thread eventually if I decide I can handle the mortifying ordeal of people actually responding to my dramatics. But. Hugs would be. Nice. Please.

    I am just. Having a rough time at home. I don’t know how to reconcile the way my mother acts day to day and some of the stuff that I know is. like. kind of abusive. like. I adore her. We’re so close it’s probably unhealthy, probably codependent in a lot of ways. Much of the time I’ll be up talking with her until like 1am. It’s weird. She tells me everything about everything. I tell her everything about everything except my mental health. Which is to say she tells me everything because she wants to. I tell her everything because I need her to think I tell her everything, so that I can tell her nothing about this one thing.


    And she. She adores me. Much of the time I’m convinced she loves me more than she likes me. She loves me so hard she wants to know everything, always. There is no such thing as privacy or any need for it - that would be an insult to her trust in me. I can’t say I don’t want to tell her something. So if she doesn’t know something, she can’t know she doesn’t know it. I spend a lot of time lying through my fucking teeth. The guilt eats me literally alive.


    And I can’t. I. I want my mommy, a lot of the time. I’m coming on 20 fucking years old and I still want to curl into my mother and have her keep me safe. But I do that and I can’t - I can’t get out of my head all the times she has touched me in ways that were not safe or gentle. I hug her and keep thinking of the times she has hit me and shook me and scratched at me and shoved me into walls or said I was sick or a liar or that I made her want to kill herself. 


    I just. And I don’t know how to do this. I can’t do this for a lifetime. Because we are so ridiculously close and there is no middle ground. If I wanted anything like an inch of space I’d have to go all out no contact, and I can’t do that because I love her, or something like it, in a probably unhealthy kind of way. I couldn’t leave her, because we’re like... unhealthily attached. A lot of it is that she doesn’t have anyone else. She’s always asking what she’ll do when I ‘grow up and leave’ her and I have to say I won’t, ever, because even the idea of leaving kind of kills me, but in the strangest dichotomy I also want nothing more than to get out out out out.


    I don’t know what the fuck to do. And so naturally my brain goes ‘well there’s no solution and no way out so like. just die.’ which is. obviously not ideal. 


    I don’t know how to do this.

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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,522 Skive's The Limit
    edited August 2020
    He knows I called the police. He saw the police and said to me “I know you have called the police they just came up to me asking me am I *****”.  But he obviously said he wasn’t him. So I was still on the phone to the police so I told them to go back to the person who they just spoke to. They said okay we can still see him. He started swearing in the text. Now he is with the police I’m guessing cause not replying. 

    He’s angry because I lied. The police told me to tell him I will meet up with him so I could find out his location 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    Past UserPast User Posts: 1,997 Extreme Poster
    He will be angry but in time he will realise that you did the right thing @Shaunie , I hope that he’s in safe hands now. You’re a great pal. Sending hugs 
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    GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    Freaking the fuck out
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