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*Snow White Queen* wrote: »
:no: No I haven't. I had counselling when I was 17/18 in college but tbh, that didn't really help me at all, although being fair, I was depressed at the time if that makes any difference. I was stuck in a bad place bad then, being young and all.
I think it might have been a little too soon also to be talking about it all. I had just been taken away from the situation I was in so like, I don't know, I didn't want to think about it and just wanted to sort my life out. I had a new boyfriend, I had my A Levels to do, a new home, etc.
My life is sorted now though. I'm really happy with the way my life is going. I don't understand why my past is now bugging me. It just makes no sense. I mean, I try not to think about it and I'm ok most of the time throughout the day but its just been bugging me when I lie down to go to sleep at night, and like when I see similar things (that I've been through) on TV, advice leaflets/posters, etc. I'm having a few flashbacks and nightmares which sucks.
I have thought several times about going to see a counsellor or something but I don't know, to be honest, I found counselling at college really unhelpful. I'm also really not good talking face to face about the subject. I think I spent most of my counselling sessions with my head down and she literally had to force things out of me. I was embarassed you see. I didn't like talking to a stranger.
Also, I don't really know how therapy/counselling is ever going to help me get over it sorta thing. I think its just one of those things that I'm going to have to deal with in time and slowly learn to accept. I just don't know. I just wish I could forget.
Sikorah wrote: »
Thanks for asking.
I said pretty much what i needed to. I got upset and she looked it too, and she gave me a hug. She asked if my eating was a problem-i said no coz im still fat. She made me promise not to get anymore drugs, coz she vouched for me to get me the job and if i get caught...there will be hell(i work with drugs!).
She gave me my repeat AD prescription but i dont know why-ive been on the same ones and same stregnth for over 2 years and i dont feel that they are what helps me to have better times.
She says ive still come a long way to when i first went to her 2 1/2 yrs ago, but im not managing to live with it. She asked if i could perhaps go back to seeing the psychotherapist but its not possible with work. Shes made me promise to use the occupational health counselling service at work because its so difficult for me to get an appointment with my her, with being at work 9-5/6.
Shes told me to get things in my life to look forward to, holidays etc coz i need the break.
Ive been too intimidated atwork to make doctors appointments but from now on i will just have to so she can know whats going on with me. Its been about 6 months or more since i last saw her.
As i suspected,theres nothing as such anyone can do, but i feel good to have got it all out and she knows whats happening with me again.
Tonight though i just cant cope. im breaking down. ON me own for the week so i dont have to hide this from my mum. ive been on the kitchen floor barely able to breathe for crying.
Ive never been in such a state that appears to have no reason. !5mg of diazepam(unprescribed) isstarting to calm me down.
thanks again for caring enough to ask.
johnnyboy503 wrote: »
when its not one thing its another.
as soon as I get one thing sorted, something else comes up to bring me down to rock bottom. I mean, I try to keep on top of things and be really positive and optomistic, then I get more stuff piled on or something that reminds me that Im a screw up.
Sofie wrote: »
2 weeks SH free.:)
pill 'ed wrote: »
I gave in one night last week. Did a load more coke. I know it was just the one night, but I was doing so well before that. Now the cravings are back. Oh well.
Shorty! wrote: »
hun, you will get through this, i promise. there will be times when you can't see a light at the end of the tunnel, but believe me it is there.xxx
your-babe wrote: »
i cant do this. i just want to be hugged and told everything will be ok. only it wont be. i'm so sorry. i feel like a waste of space and time. 5 months down the fucking drain. fucking hell.
freeallangels19 wrote: »
You can do this Kirtsy, I know you can. You've come a very very long way, and setbacks are nowhere near as bad as they seem at the time. *Hugs* I'll make sure you get a massive hug when I see you in a couple of weeks. xx