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Am I alone, or does anyone else find that none of the distractions ever work?
you will always get people who say these stupid kind of things-i think in a big way unless you have seen self harm first hand you dont understand-its not easy-take your time-you can only do what you can
The thing is, it was supposedly a 'professional' type person who answered my question...
i dont know-i guess its hard to give advice when you dont know the whole situation-i still dont think what they say is right-you know yourself best-as i said just do what you can and do only your best
They work if you want them to work, and they don't work if you don't want them to work.
People can choose not to self-harm, they can choose to go and do something else instead. But for a lot of people they are addicted to the feelings brought about by SH and they simply don't want to stop.
why however do dome not see thatpeople want help but find it hard as its something you've kept secret for years
my ex just was telling me he was being put on anti depressants and i asked him why and stuff and he turned and goes cos some of us want the help-i hate him for that-im trying to get help-im seeing a counsellor and stuff
i hate him
im sorry
It's never been like that for me. They only work for a certain amount of time.
It's never been like that for me - I never chose to be in this situation or for anyone to find out in the first place. Someone did and I think this is the main reason why I'm in the situation I'm in now.:crying:
Hugs, I'm not doing well tonight either. Don't know what I want to do anymore. Feel so stressed and fucked off with everything.
A few years back I would have totally disagreed with that. Now I'm quite the opposite. Funny. Its true though.
I don' t think that was what Kermit meant TBH. I think that he was referring to the fact that everybody has a choice about what they do. When it comes to SH, people do have a choice. Unfortunately, it's all to easy to act before thinking about it. The idea of distraction techniques is to make you forget about SHing completely or at least to give you the time to think over what you're about to do, in which case you make a decision whether to do it or not. Sometimes you will make the right decision and others you won't. It you make the wrong decision, it shouldn't be seen as failure but something to learn from. Just like people who have anger management problems, you can try to practise what you are going to do next time you want to SH. Think about a situation that would stress you out, then go through the motions .... what distraction technique will you use, concentrate on making the better decision, etc. Then put yourself in a slightly stressful situation and go through the motions again. Eventually, after a lot of practise and lots of slip ups you should get to the point where you automatically do the right thing. What a lovely theory eh???
I find that part of the problem with giving up SH is the whole 'it's frowned upon' thing. Because it's seen as something bad, you feel guilty for doing it. I think that if the guilt was taken away, it would be easier to give up. I'm afraid that I can't really explain that but that was part of the problem for me.
And yes I know what you mean about the initial buzz of SH. Unfortunately it's hard to find something else that makes you feel so powerful that you forget about all of your problems for those few seconds/minutes. In the end, it's just a case of dealing with one thing at a time. Whilst you may all be feeling down, SH just makes things worse. It's another problem that you have to deal with and so it's a vicious circle.
I sincerely hope that things get better for you all. Please remember though that SH is not a coping mechanism at all. It might seem that way but it really isn't. I have been there and I do understand. It's just easier to recognise from the lighter end of the tunnel.
*group hug*
She then said that there's someone who she could talk to who has a list of counsellers or something.
xxx
She did say that she'd only say something to anyone if that's what I wanted.
Not yet.
I'm not too sure, tbh. I have a real problem opening up to anyone IRL about this.:(
how come?
No reason, just feel unhappy and theres nothing I can do to feel better
its your decision if your not ready dont worry-just take your time-noones going to force you
Yes, they do. It's not always a conscious decision, but its a choice nonetheless.
SH is not a coping mechanism- it is many things, but its not coping. I personally believe that SH is a chemical and physical addiction- its a great way of getting anger and pain out, and its a great chemical shot of adrenaline and endorphins as the blood starts to flow. It's very cathartic for about ten seconds, and then destructive for the rest of the time.
I do speak as someone who used to self-harm, and suffered from awful mental health for years. I've largely recovered, and if I can get to where I am from where I was then anyone can.