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Depression and Self-Harming - Please read

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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Waht a load of rubbish, gone for 4 weeks without harming and I've just cracked, I'm such a failure and I can't let them know on my placement. Don't know what to do, it just all became too much to deal with. What is my boyfriend going to say? I think he's going to be really upset, I hate upsetting him.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Please stop worrying about how other people are going to react to your 'problem'. One little slip up is certainly not a failure. Your boyfriend should be there for you through this rather than getting upset about it. It's something that you need supporting through rather than being made to feel guilty.

    I understand that your placement could be tricky but it's just a matter of keeping any marks covered up. How easy that is will depend on where you did it.

    So, what is it that made you do it? You mention that things became too much to deal with. Maybe sharing with us on here will help. I don't know. Bottling things up inside will never work though; it'll always come out eventually and often in a self-destructive way.

    Hyper, please let yourself cry. It's an emotion that you are entitled to. After a while you'll get it all out of your system and you'll feel sooo much better for it. I promise you.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Liv wrote: »
    Waht a load of rubbish, gone for 4 weeks without harming and I've just cracked, I'm such a failure and I can't let them know on my placement. Don't know what to do, it just all became too much to deal with. What is my boyfriend going to say? I think he's going to be really upset, I hate upsetting him.

    your not a failure-its a slip up they happen-i should know-you r boyfriend may be upset but its only cos he cares and he will understand im sure-its not like you havent tried cos going four weeks is such a massive achievement and next time you'll go even longer if you dont stop completely-im always here if you want to talk you know that

    loopi- i just cant cry ive always been told of when ive cried in the past so i dont-it makes me less vulnerable to other people-i just cant cry anymore

    sorry
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm okay, bit better today, just having a bad couple of days. Your determination to get there with things is pretty good, you've come a hell of a long way. You wouldnt believe how proud I'am of you. x

    glad you're ok, thankyou, it means a lot xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Liv wrote: »
    Waht a load of rubbish, gone for 4 weeks without harming and I've just cracked, I'm such a failure and I can't let them know on my placement. Don't know what to do, it just all became too much to deal with. What is my boyfriend going to say? I think he's going to be really upset, I hate upsetting him.

    4 weeks is a bloody long time :) You should feel proud :) Just think though, you've gone 4 weeks, and try to see it as a slip up, or start again. That's how I did mine, only I just concentrated on getting through each day. Also, try to not to become to focused on exactly how long it's been since u last harmed, I found that it made me think of it more, and hence slipped up more :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I can't believe I've gone nearly 2 (on Saturday it'll be) weeks without self harming. If I hold on another 5 days after Saturday, then it'll be the longest I've gone. :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    your-babe wrote: »
    4 weeks is a bloody long time :) You should feel proud :) Just think though, you've gone 4 weeks, and try to see it as a slip up, or start again. That's how I did mine, only I just concentrated on getting through each day. Also, try to not to become to focused on exactly how long it's been since u last harmed, I found that it made me think of it more, and hence slipped up more :)

    I know it's a long time but i just cant help feeling that i've let myself down, i shouldnt have done it, how rubbish is this. I just can't deal with it, I'm so stressed, I cry at everything, how pathetic.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sofie wrote: »
    I can't believe I've gone nearly 2 (on Saturday it'll be) weeks without self harming. If I hold on another 5 days after Saturday, then it'll be the longest I've gone. :)

    thats so good to hear sofie :) xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Liv wrote: »
    I know it's a long time but i just cant help feeling that i've let myself down, i shouldnt have done it, how rubbish is this. I just can't deal with it, I'm so stressed, I cry at everything, how pathetic.

    crying isnt pathetic, its natural :) slip ups are perfectly normal when trying to stop harming, just keep at it, and dont let this disheartned you :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    your-babe wrote: »
    crying isnt pathetic, its natural :) slip ups are perfectly normal when trying to stop harming, just keep at it, and dont let this disheartned you :)

    I know but now I just dont see the point anymore, ive been trying for ages and I just cant seem to do it, maybe this is how I'm going to be for the rest of my life, i give up to be honest, sorry to be so pessimistic.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Liv wrote: »
    I know but now I just dont see the point anymore, ive been trying for ages and I just cant seem to do it, maybe this is how I'm going to be for the rest of my life, i give up to be honest, sorry to be so pessimistic.

    youve gone 4 weeks, sounds like u can do it hun :) rather than thinking negatively- i know its hard but try thinking positively, e.g. i slipped up because i was under a lot of stress, or 4 weeks is a long time- can i better that this time? xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    your-babe wrote: »
    youve gone 4 weeks, sounds like u can do it hun :) rather than thinking negatively- i know its hard but try thinking positively, e.g. i slipped up because i was under a lot of stress, or 4 weeks is a long time- can i better that this time? xx

    just told my boyfriend, he's not angry but is just a bit upset I think. I feel so guilty, I want this all to end now, I cant do this anymore.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Liv wrote: »
    just told my boyfriend, he's not angry but is just a bit upset I think. I feel so guilty, I want this all to end now, I cant do this anymore.

    I know that feeling :) You CAN do this though xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    your-babe wrote: »
    I know that feeling :) You CAN do this though xx

    Thanks for you support I really appreciate it, I do. I just don't see an end to this anymore, I feel like I've really failed, I shouldn't have given up on it. I'm really sorry to keep going on about it, just need to talk I guess.
    How are you today?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Liv wrote: »
    Waht a load of rubbish, gone for 4 weeks without harming and I've just cracked, I'm such a failure and I can't let them know on my placement.

    Don't let them know then.

    Big deal if you ended up cutting again. Four weeks is a success, dust yourself down and start again. It's no big deal, it doesn't matter.

    I slipped up three years after I'd stopped cutting. It doesn't matter either.
    What is my boyfriend going to say? I think he's going to be really upset, I hate upsetting him.

    He will be upset, but only because he cares.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote: »
    . Four weeks is a success

    Indeed it is. I'm actually aiming for 4 weeks as well. I'm hoping it won't be too hard. (the last few weeks have been alright though)
    He will be upset, but only because he cares.

    Of course.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sometimes people know exactly how to push my buttons. bastards.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i love you though :heart:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ugh, I really can't do this any more. I am tempted to cut myself but I'm scared what might happen if my friend finds out...:(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    want to harm-told my counsellor bout my past-cost me so much and harmed then now just want to so much
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    This is to everyone:

    I'm leaving this place (I've asked for my account to be deleted) but I'd like to thank everyone for the advice, for actually giving a fuck about some stranger on the net and for just being good people.

    I hope everyone deals with their demons and comes out the other end smiling.

    Bye.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :(

    Why are you leaving?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Franki wrote: »
    :(

    Why are you leaving?

    I don't want to post here anymore.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    That is a silly answer and doesn't answer my question.

    But I guess you knew that :(.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Franki wrote: »
    That is a silly answer and doesn't answer my question.

    But I guess you knew that :(.

    Ok, it's because things have happened and they have soured this place for me. I don't want to be reminded of things and I want all my posts deleted.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Fair enough.

    I suppose I do have other ways of stalking you anyway...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    sorry to hear that Infinite.

    Well, so long, its been great knowing you. :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    oh wow... I actually never enter that thread, but this is bad news, infinite.

    I hope things turn out best for you. Many people fuck me off here too, but I always try to not let it overshadow the good things.

    take care.

    /e: I am actually doing rather good, but I feel so devoid of passion lately. It must be the uni-work, the exams I have to make up for, because I was lazy in first semester, the money... It's the first time in life I have money problems, because I bought a new bicycle in summer and head-to-toe snowboarding gear in fall. I am owing people money and it's getting hard to get through, however.

    On monday I'm looking forward to next weekend, but on the weekend I'm so demotivated to go out,... I'm rolling the sleeves up and head through there...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Infinite wrote: »
    This is to everyone:

    I'm leaving this place (I've asked for my account to be deleted) but I'd like to thank everyone for the advice, for actually giving a fuck about some stranger on the net and for just being good people.

    I hope everyone deals with their demons and comes out the other end smiling.

    Bye.

    :(

    Ended up giving in last night and cut myself. I am so worried now that my parents may find out. I'm surprised they haven't started asking questions yet about why on earth I spend 30 minutes+ in the bathroom...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sofie wrote: »
    :(

    Ended up giving in last night and cut myself. I am so worried now that my parents may find out. I'm surprised they haven't started asking questions yet about why on earth I spend 30 minutes+ in the bathroom...

    as ive said before to other people-its a slip up they happen and you'll go longer next time if you dont stop altogether-you've achieved so much so dont be so negative-i know i cant say much bout being negative but i mean it-take care
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