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nothing touches, why?

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ok last night he came from work and went about things as per norm, we ate, he walked the dogs, we sat in the living room with the tv on and by 10.00pm im starting to get very tired now, he then manages to try to start to talk to me!!!!! to be honest i wasnt all that interested, but he tried, so i made myself sit there and talkt o him, i told him that im sick and tired of this happening and that each time he promises me to try harder and to take more care and notice of me, i told him that when he does that and we start having sex yet again after months of doing nothing i have to go thr the pain as if im a virgin yet again!!! yet somehow he still thinks that i should make the first move!! why? why would i do something knowing the level of pain im going to have to go thr just to makehim happy and then after a few weeks he gets fed upof him having to take control and start things and then he doesnt bother at all. to end up having this sort of conversation yet again and to repeat the whole thing yet one more time, why would anyone continue doing this? surely im not alone in this?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If vaginal intercourse is painful, why don't you pleasure each other in different sexual ways?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    such as what?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    kissing, stroking, licking, nibbling, rubbing, sucking, just everything except for humping.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    katralla wrote: »
    kissing, stroking, licking, nibbling, rubbing, sucking, just everything except for humping.

    and how is that going to give me any pleasure?

    kissing is sort of ok
    stroking just makes me fel cold and gives me goosebumps
    licking ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
    nibbling ouch
    rubbing ouch
    sucking ?????????????
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ...you've never given your husband oral?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well i have done it but i dont really know what im doing, it hurts my mouth after a while tho i end up having to count to myself to maintain any movement and then my hand gets sore and i have to swap over and over til he cums but all the time im just counting in myhead to keep going
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    because it's pleasurable to give pleasure, to give it freely and willingly, for the purpose of the other person receiving pleasure. If you disagree, what is it that you want from your husband? You want him to give you pleasure but it's not something you're freely willing to give him?

    You seem really bitter that he doesn't want to give you pleasure, and that he can't but- do you really deserve his efforts?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    no your right, i dont, but where else does someone learn how to do any of this stuff, and believe me god how i have tried and tried over the last 28yrs to learn but im clueless on what im doing and his lack of interest just reaffirms how bad i am

    why is it pleasureable for me to this then? i just dont understand that, if im doing something and having to concetrate so hard on what im doing then its just a job to be done, its flamming hard work for me to do any of it but i keep pushing myself
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You've spent 28yrs trying to learn how to give a good blow job, and failed?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    what counts as failure? yeah ok he cums eventually, but im absolutely worn out then, my hands hurt my mouth hurts its dry and a bone and i cant swallow my own salivia, i have to get a drink and even then im nearly throwing up,

    i havent a clue what to do with him, its just up and down with my mouth and then when that gets tired i use my hands in the same way and have to swap them over and support my arm
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    perhaps get a sex book, read a guide on how to give a good blow job? Try out different things on him and guage by his response whether he likes it or not, or just ask him.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i dont get any response out of him, if you dont count him coming as a response that is. i have asked him and he just says its all ok and cant/wont say anymore about it.

    Why is it that my mouth goes really dry and feeling like my throat is sticking together and i cant swallow and it starts to hurt when i am doing this on him then? nevermind the fact that my mouth and jaw hurts me
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    does he breathe and does his heart beat? You do get a response from him, you just haven't learnt how to read it yet.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    eh? whats to read? he dont make any noise ever so you just cant tell what he thinks, only time he does anything is if i was to bite him

    and getting a book only means that im copying what it say in that, it dont mean any more than that to me tho as i still wont know what he wants me to do. and i dont see how copying it from a book will make it any more pleasurable whatever the hell that is.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You're supposed to be reading the other person's state of arousal and enjoyment, that's what to read. What are you expecting, a big Kindle screen on his belly saying "I'm at stage 3 of arousal now, lick round the bas of my cock and pull my balls to get me to level 4"?

    You 'read' him the same way you 'read' anybody in a social situation. Are you any good at any human interactions? Can you make friends? Can you tell if you've pissed someone off?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i dont have any friends at all!!!!

    how can i read his lever of arousal when i dont even know what being aroused is?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    So, not only do you not experience arousal, you are also unable to detect it in other people?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    erm hes hard thats all i know is that all there is to arousal in men? i really dont know any more than that.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ask him
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i have, and i dont get anything that makes any sense out of him, he just says he gets aroused and thats it, only thing i can see is that if hes hard or not, i have asked him what happens when someone gets aroused and he cant/wont answer me
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    look and listen harder next time.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    look at what? all there is to look at and tell is if his dick is hard or not
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    His facial expressions, for a start.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    how when my face is in dick doing any of this stuff to him? and even when i do it with my hand there is nothing to see in his face at all its just him loking normal to me or his eyes are shut thats all
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It is absolutely possible to look upwards when giving head. It actually turns the guy on a lot more, more often than not. Especially if you catch their eye and give them a little cheeky grin while you're at it.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    the last thing im going to to is smile when my mouth or arm is in pain!!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    pain? Do it in a non painful way.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    failingrepeatedly wrote: »
    the last thing im going to to is smile when my mouth or arm is in pain!!
    Do you not even slightly enjoy knowing he's getting turned on by you?

    For me that's the biggest turn on ever. Even if I'm not feeling up for sex, giving Boy a Super-Awesome-Franki-Blowjob and seeing his reaction to it (which, generally, goes something like, 'Oh god, oh my god, what are you...OHGOD') turns me on like nothing else.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    how? its always the same for me that i get pain from my mouth or arm doing this on him
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