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Time for another ranty thread

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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    I’m too sensitive for life. And I can’t stay in bed for the rest of my life so I dunno what sort of life I want when I can’t cope with little things. Is so embarrassing aswell. But no one cares that I think I can’t handle life and want to die. Only care about people who hear voices and stuff and have physosis or what not and may harm others. Cause yeah don’t care about my life just others. All load of shit tbh. But I guess having a sensitive personality may not be a mental health issue just pathetic and how will always be.
    I really hate myself
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    RayofhopeRayofhope Posts: 152 Helping Hand
    Hi,

    Sorry to here this Shaunie, sounds like a really hard time for you at the moment. Is there anything which you find you are enjoying at the moment. It sounds like there are people which you care about which is really good, this can be a great thing to be able to do and being sensitive can be really helpful at times as it means that we are to provide sympathy to others. I hope that you are able to feel better soon.

    Here for you.
    Rayofhope
    Life doesn’t require we be the best, only that we try our best
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    Past UserPast User Posts: 0 Just got here
    Hi Shaunie, you are very brave for sharing your thoughts with us. It sounds like you are going through a hard time at the moment and maybe need someone to talk to? Having a sensitive personality can be extremely positive at times and may would consider it to be positive, rather than pathetic. It means you are empathetic and caring. If you are finding things hard at the moment and want more support then we can suggest some place which might be useful for you:

    ​A place like Elefriends could be useful, it is a support community for over 18s
    https://www.elefriends.org.uk/

    ​Also Samaritans, is a good place if you feel that you need someone else to talk to
    https://www.samaritans.org/
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    MirabelleMirabelle Posts: 1,020 Wise Owl
    Earlier I had such a nasty migraine and was seeing moiré and zigzag patterns. Mandy got me to bed where I slept four hours. It's still hanging around though nowhere as awful. I have a powerful med for it, but didn't take it in time.
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    MirabelleMirabelle Posts: 1,020 Wise Owl
    So you got my email from aunty. Right. Actually, it's not right. I'll have a word with her tomorrow and you've since been blocked on it. And tomorrow morning when I'm back in the village post office kindly be more pleasant. Just because you sit behind a 2 cm wall of armoured glass does not give you the right to verbally abuse me just because I'd returned for a second book of 1st class stamps. Do you hate your job? Or do you verbally abuse your young customers just for the kick of it? Get a new job, then. Come to think of it, get a fucking life. Cnt. And while I remember, it's me who owns a Maybach 62, not my driver.
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    Thank you v much @sas181[/USER] and [USER="96422"]Rayofhope
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    MirabelleMirabelle Posts: 1,020 Wise Owl
    Nothing more infuriating that searching for something I can't find! I've got all the ingredients out for making a batch of Creme de Cacao and someone has hidden the cocoa nibs. :grump:
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    independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 8,618 Legendary Poster
    My bottle of nail varnish remover has fallen down the back of my desk and I now have 2 options: try to get behind my desk or buy a new bottle!! Lol why!!!
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
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    MirabelleMirabelle Posts: 1,020 Wise Owl
    independent_ wrote: »
    My bottle of nail varnish remover has fallen down the back of my desk and I now have 2 options: try to get behind my desk or buy a new bottle!! Lol why!!!

    The law of gravity and risk of getting ponged by the fumes, so buy another bottle. My sympathies. :)

    My not-so rant: I found the cocoa nibs. Some mindles bugger had put it at the every far end of the pantry. Had to get an apple grabber from the garage to get it out. .__.
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    TheAprilFoolTheAprilFool Posts: 187 Helping Hand
    Recently I've been kind of annoyed by the fact that I can't seem to connect with anyone. I nearly always check my phone and see that I have a load of notifications, and I get tired of switching between conversations that just involve endless small talk. I don't mind it so much when I don't really know the person, but since I've started dating I can't believe the amount of people who say they like me after talking about the most basic things. I even had to start ignoring a guy because he communicated entirely in memes. I don't feel that close to most of my friends anymore, I always get the feeling that there's a lot they're not telling me. I worry about people a lot, but I find it hard to keep checking up on people when I can't keep a conversation going. I know that there is a lot that I keep hidden from friends and family, and I find it difficult to talk to them when I'm feeling low or something is wrong, but it would be nice if I didn't always have to start the conversation. Before the Easter holidays started, I usually kept my phone on 'do not disturb' mode because I was always either busy with uni or tired. I can't remember the last time I didn't have my phone on silent, and recently I've started leaving it switched off. I used to be the type of person who answered messaged as soon as possible, but I've just started to find it too overwhelming, and I see it as an act of self-care to take frequent breaks from my phone.
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    Past UserPast User Posts: 0 Just got here
    Hi @TheAprilFool ,

    ​That sounds like a difficult situation.

    ​It always hard when there feels like there is distance between you and your friends. This can make people feel alone and can be very upsetting, so it is great you came to get some support from us. You said that since you've started dating you feel like your conversations have become small talk, do you think this is because you are dating, and if so why? You mentioned that you feel they keep things from you, but you also keep things from them. Maybe if you started sharing a few more of your problems with them they might feel more comfortable sharing theirs with you, resulting in the relationships strengthening? It's good that you've noticed that being on your phone has become overwhelming for you, and breaks from it can be constructive.

    ​Good luck, and we hope your friendships improve.

    ​- Saskia
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    When I finally have the effort to get out of bed and have a shower, after -I go into my room and step in dog 💩. Thought I was gunna be sick
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    MirabelleMirabelle Posts: 1,020 Wise Owl
    We came home from a 3 night midweek break to find our aunts had had a party. My kitchen was on its head; note the my. Mandy and I set about clearing up our 8 bedroomed war zone. Two dishwasher fillings, cleaned worktops and stoves; changed laundry of 8 bedrooms, but left aunts' clothes in a floordrobe pile; the washing machines are still going. And I thought teenagers were reknowned for leaving a mess.

    Memo to self. When buying a Dyson, buy a pair of ear protectors. All's done now, and we feel about done, too. :eek2:
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    I have so many messages from months ago from people who were friends that never replied to. Idek why but is rude & hate myself. & I wonder why I feel so alone
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    MirabelleMirabelle Posts: 1,020 Wise Owl
    Shaunie wrote: »
    I have so many messages from months ago from people who were friends that never replied to. Idek why but is rude & hate myself. & I wonder why I feel so alone

    You're not alone - recently I cleared out my address book having no replies from so-called friends. I agree it's rude, but people are so busy that they forget what pen palling means. And it's their loss.
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    Mirabelle wrote: »

    You're not alone - recently I cleared out my address book having no replies from so-called friends. I agree it's rude, but people are so busy that they forget what pen palling means. And it's their loss.

    Ah I mean I am the one who dont reply ://
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    MirabelleMirabelle Posts: 1,020 Wise Owl
    Shaunie wrote: »

    Ah I mean I am the one who dont reply ://

    Noooooo! lol you are among the few who ever do, doody do. :rainbow2:
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    TheAprilFoolTheAprilFool Posts: 187 Helping Hand
    sas181 wrote: »
    Hi @TheAprilFool ,

    ​That sounds like a difficult situation.

    ​It always hard when there feels like there is distance between you and your friends. This can make people feel alone and can be very upsetting, so it is great you came to get some support from us. You said that since you've started dating you feel like your conversations have become small talk, do you think this is because you are dating, and if so why? You mentioned that you feel they keep things from you, but you also keep things from them. Maybe if you started sharing a few more of your problems with them they might feel more comfortable sharing theirs with you, resulting in the relationships strengthening? It's good that you've noticed that being on your phone has become overwhelming for you, and breaks from it can be constructive.

    ​Good luck, and we hope your friendships improve.

    ​- Saskia
    Hi @sas181

    I don't think that me dating has really affected my friendships, especially as I'm not the only one in the group who has started to date more recently. The conversations I have with my friends aren't exactly small talk, they just don't seem to provide the same opportunities to connect as they used to. The small talk I have is mainly with the people I date. It's strange, because I keep finding that guys feel as though they are connecting with me when I don't really feel anything towards them. I tried to be more open with my problems, especially as this year I've made it my goal to focus on improving my mental health, but I find that either my problems get dismissed or I just end up feeling bad and guilty for sharing them. Plus, with some of my friends they still don't seem very likely to open up to me. Using my phone less has been good for me, I've realised that it's okay to not always reply to everyone as soon as possible. I think that the next step would be to alter the setting for some of the apps so that I don't get so many notifications that aren't really important.

    Thanks for the advice. :)
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    MirabelleMirabelle Posts: 1,020 Wise Owl
    Tonight the arthritis pain returned. The meds have yet to start working. The pain across my shoulders neck and back is the worst yet. By the way it's rampaging my music career will be washed up and done by my early 20's. By the end of the month I'll be on tour into May but at least the continental weather will be warmer. Til then this constant damp weather is gettin on my pip.
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    Great am getting rashes from stress. Can’t remember getting them since my GCSE’s 😒😒. It is nothing that is highly noticeable at all but I don’t want any small light redness patches on my face. And scared will wake up and be really bad or something. I still have a cream my doctor gave for it but that was like 3 years ago and dunno if still would be okay to use now. I am getting more stressed from it. But have been using different skin products recently so idk. But keep getting heart palpitations so much past few weeks😒 think is damaging my heart and may die of stress
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    TheAprilFoolTheAprilFool Posts: 187 Helping Hand
    Shaunie wrote: »
    Great am getting rashes from stress. Can’t remember getting them since my GCSE’s 😒😒. It is nothing that is highly noticeable at all but I don’t want any small light redness patches on my face. And scared will wake up and be really bad or something. I still have a cream my doctor gave for it but that was like 3 years ago and dunno if still would be okay to use now. I am getting more stressed from it. But have been using different skin products recently so idk. But keep getting heart palpitations so much past few weeks😒 think is damaging my heart and may die of stress
    I'm sorry that stress is having such an effect on you. Is there a chance you could go to see a doctor again soon?
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    Yeah probably will ask my doctor. Thanks @TheAprilFool
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 8,618 Legendary Poster
    Was out for a walk with new puppy and was reeeeealy not paying attention and whacked my head off one of them thin signs :( that are exactly at the right height to be painful lol!!
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    Trigger Warning

    Please god fucking kill me😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 I can’t fucking focus on maintain sane mind rn. I feel like harming myself so bad. M family have just been moaning at me saying I need to sort of my life out and get out of bed. Fucking hell the need to stop fucking speaking at me. And saying 1,000 words a fucking second the fcking cunt I can’t fucking hear over my insense thoughts of suicide and I feel like fcking kill them. Fuck me I feel fucking disabled the fucking cunts can go to hell if they feel they realise how shit I feel. I can’t see that far. I am sorry I am such a fuck up and disappointed but I am getting no where in life and may aswell die now The service just then rang me and denied me of urgent support. Like why the fuck say load of fcking load of fucking shit. Can go to hell to the fucking pricks do not give a fuck. Fucking pricks everyone. I just want to fucking die and if I could and had the means to right now I would but I don’t and can’t and that’s what’s making me so angry rn 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    AbigailAbigail Posts: 818 Part of The Mix Family
    I need a rant sorry in advance.

    4:50am I finally got through to someone on childlines 1-2-1 chat. I understand they have this rule in place about people in risk need to be spoken and helped. I wanted I was a carer in the 2nd message I sent them. I was temptd to give them hell and you guys now i don't like people giving me shit. What if this was the first opportunity I had to deal support in the past 48+ hours what if I something serious was actually up and behind that opening line of 'carers assessment' lied something a lot worse luckily there wasn't. Childline seriously need to get the butt in gear and sort out there system especially for those who are carers as we have equal right to any human being and we deserve equal maybe even at times more support than others do. Grrrr I am not a happy person right now. So glad that i can fuck off there radar soon and never speak to any of the lying piece of shit. Sorry i hate to rant
    Some people think I am unhappy. I'm not. I just approach silence in the world that never stops talking.
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    MAP98MAP98 Posts: 18 Settling in
    When you open up to someone about depression, explaining and properly opening up to them, warning them before hand that I do trust them, and you do not want this health issue changing their views on you as it has happened to me before with a manager that I knew outside of work, but once I told him he stopped and would no longer talk to me at all. He told other people too and soon the whole office was treating me like I was made of glass. - That isn't why I spoke about it, I needed help and support but instead everybody feels the need to tread on egg shells around you. But anyway I warned them and told them that I did not want any sympathy I just simply wanted to open up about the whole thing but now it seems that they've done exactly that and have had nil contact off them, I suppose though best they've gone now then further down the line where they know actual details of what went on and why it happened etc.
    It is nice to know that here, and few people around me and at work are genuinely supportive and treat me no different instead are just like 'contact me whenever, through your ups and downs, no matter the time' -- They are the kind of people we all need to be around and not wasting our breath or time around those just plainly don't understand and possibly don't want too!
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    MirabelleMirabelle Posts: 1,020 Wise Owl
    Fair-weather friend definition: A friend who is only a friend when circumstances are pleasant or profitable. At the first sign of trouble, these capricious, disloyal friends will drop their relationship with you and piss off. Fml.
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    MirabelleMirabelle Posts: 1,020 Wise Owl
    Drat drat and drat! I've left a bunch of important history textbooks a Fender amp AND a guitar back home and I've got to have them. Trouble is, I'm too ill to go back and aunty's in a shit mood over my spending. And she should talk, spending money like water on some wanky house project. SIGH :(



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    independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 8,618 Legendary Poster
    Abigail wrote: »
    I need a rant sorry in advance.

    4:50am I finally got through to someone on childlines 1-2-1 chat. I understand they have this rule in place about people in risk need to be spoken and helped. I wanted I was a carer in the 2nd message I sent them. I was temptd to give them hell and you guys now i don't like people giving me shit. What if this was the first opportunity I had to deal support in the past 48+ hours what if I something serious was actually up and behind that opening line of 'carers assessment' lied something a lot worse luckily there wasn't. Childline seriously need to get the butt in gear and sort out there system especially for those who are carers as we have equal right to any human being and we deserve equal maybe even at times more support than others do. Grrrr I am not a happy person right now. So glad that i can fuck off there radar soon and never speak to any of the lying piece of shit. Sorry i hate to rant

    Rant away, hope you managed to get the support you need x
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
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    independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 8,618 Legendary Poster
    So done with my school!!
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
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