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Can someone please please help me?!

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ok...I have more or less decided, I want to have this baby. I can't kill it. In my opinion it is wrong, in the situation.
    Maybe I am mad thinking I can cope, but I want to do this.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ok...I have more or less decided, I want to have this baby. I can't kill it. In my opinion it is wrong, in the situation.
    Maybe I am mad thinking I can cope, but I want to do this.

    Okay, I'm glad about your decision.
    Please remember that you won't have to cope on your own. You have friends and family and other people to help support you.

    Also I met a girl the other day who was turning 21. She has a child that is five years old, but she is so happy and she is studying for her vet degree.
    So remember that and don't think you're missing out on anything!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ok...I have more or less decided, I want to have this baby. I can't kill it. In my opinion it is wrong, in the situation.
    Maybe I am mad thinking I can cope, but I want to do this.

    Good luck. You have support here and it sounds like you have support at home. Itwill be a tough ride, but you can do this
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    this is going to sound stupid, but i can't take paracetamol anymore can i?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    this is going to sound stupid, but i can't take paracetamol anymore can i?

    Hey Amilie Rose :wave:

    I can't advise you on this, I would say check with your gp but as its the weekend maybe try looking at http://www.nhsdirect.nhs.uk/ or give them a call?

    Good luck with everything and let us know how you are getting on,

    dp :heart:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Does anyone know of any foods that can be eaten without throwing them back up? This morning sickness thing isn't nice. Although I'm not hungry I need to eat but everything I do eat, is thrown back up.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm not sure by I think ginger is good for morning sickness. I think you can get crystalised ginger, or you can just get ginger biscuits. It's supposes to stabilise your blood sugar levels if you eat some as soon as you wake up. Someone who's been through it will probably have better adivce though.
    I don't think you're "mad" for thinking you can cope. It sounds like you've thought about it, even if to you it felt more like worrying about it. If you have people to support you I'm sure you'll be able to get to uni. You seem to be coping well so far. A lot of girls got pregnant when I was at school and nearly all them got drunk and continued to smoke. They didn't seem to think about the fact that they would have a baby, so I think you're dealing with it really well, especially considering the way your "friends" reacted.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    To be honest, Amilie Rose, I think the fact that you immediately sought out advice and the way that you are asking sensible questions about foods and paracetamol shows that you are responsible enough to do this. You've kept quite a level head despite everything that has happened =]

    There are plenty of mothers and mothers to be on the board that will be more than willing to give you plenty of advice =]
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ginger doesn't work. It tastes rank thrown back up too. Why is it even called morning sickness? More like all day sickness =| And I am feeling really down today. I haven't stopped crying.
    My dad is threatening to disown me, if i don't get rid of the baby. Something about shaming the family and ruining my life.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Flippin heck we aren't living in victorian times - your not going to shame your family.

    Paracetamol is fine when your pregnant and the only painkiller you can take safely.

    Eating a dry biscuit maybe like a digestive or something like that is supposed to help - other than that just eating as much as possible - its a bit like sea sickness weirdly eating more makes you feel less ill - one of my freinds found that the only thing which stopped her from throwing up was ice cream of all things. If you can't keep anything down for more than 48 hours then you should go and see your GP apparently.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey Amilie Rose :wave:

    It sounds like your hormones are kicking in with feeling so emotional, combined with what you're going through with your family and decision making, that does make for you having a tough time of it. You've been really brave in coming to the decision to keep the baby - just remember you're not alone, you can do this and there's a lot of support for you out there. If you want to speak to someone outside of family or friends, maybe try this helpline, LifeCharity who can offer support and counselling.

    Your dad might just need some time to get his head around you deciding to have your baby. It's natural for him to be concerned about whether this is the right thing for you to do, but if what he is saying upsets you, try to talk to him calmly about your reasons for wanting to keep the baby, if he sees that you are in control of the situation and are being rational, he might worry less and start to come round to the idea...maybe? If this feels difficult then perhaps write him a letter explaining what you're going through and why you need his support, or maybe someone else in your family could speak to him on your behalf and try and get him to see your side of things?

    Stay strong and keep posting, you can do this. :yes:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    This doesn't even have anything to do with my dad. He has no right to say all this, he left me and my mum for someone else. Now he lives in France and remembers us once every few years. He is being very selective over being a dad.
    On another note, my boyfriend rang me last night and wants to meet up with me today. What should I do?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    On another note, my boyfriend rang me last night and wants to meet up with me today. What should I do?

    What do you want to do? He has been treating you appallingly, if he wants to meet up, I'd sure as hell want to know it comes packing with an apology first. You mentioned that you were going to be seeing his parents, did anything happen about that?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I never saw them. There is a meeting at school on Thursday with my mum and his parents and obviously me. Not sure if my boyfriend will be there.
    I don't know what I want to do. I don't want him to mess me around, like one minute hating me and the next wanting to give me support. I think maybe we need to decide whether or not we are going to be together, because I need to know for myself if he will be here for me. If that makes sense. I am still really angry about how he treated me and as much as I want to, I can't keep blaming his behavior on the shock. Jeezz I am in shock and I am not behaving like he has. I am the one carrying the baby, not him!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    for what its worth, i think youre being very sensible and mature about this, even though you sound scared too.
    I think this baby could do a hell of a lot worse for a mother than you. You should be proud of yourself
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thank you.
    I am meeting him later, providing I can eat something without being sick. And providing I stop feeling dizzy for long enough.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Good luck with everything Amilie. You sound very mature for your age and I'm sure you'll do a great job of being a mother.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    why did i agree to meet him? why did i think something would be different to how he has acted for the past week? he was so nice at first, saying he would support me no matter what and he was so sorry for what he said.
    then after a bit he was all over me. he wouldn't stop. he was saying that we did it so many times, this time would be no different. that i didn't need to worry about getting pregnant because i already was, because i was a cheap whore with no morals. that this baby was going to have a slut as a mother and neither me or the baby should any chance of getting anywhere in life.
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    **helen****helen** Deactivated Posts: 9,235 Supreme Poster
    then after a bit he was all over me. he wouldn't stop. he was saying that we did it so many times, this time would be no different. that i didn't need to worry about getting pregnant because i already was, because i was a cheap whore with no morals. that this baby was going to have a slut as a mother and neither me or the baby should any chance of getting anywhere in life.

    Oh no :(

    This sounds like an awful experience and I hope you don't believe a word he says. It's horrible when someone you've trusted lets you down like this, but it sounds like you've tried really hard to give him a chance to be kind, but he's nowhere near mature enough to deal with it. I know it's easier said than done, but try not to dwell too much on his spiteful words and remember that there are lots of people who will support you through this. *hugs*
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    what a bastard he is. I hope you keep away from him. Not what you need at all.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    but i do believe it. it was cheap what we did. and my baby doesn't stand any chance. how am i meant to protect and look after a baby if i can't do that for myself. something a lot worse could have happened today, how can i put a baby through danger like that? this baby will grow up with people saying i am a slapper and a whore. how is that fair?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Amilie your child will not see it like that she/he will see you as their mother and the woman that loves them no matter what. Having sex doesn't make you a slapper so please don't think like that.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lea_uk wrote: »
    Amilie your child will not see it like that she/he will see you as their mother and the woman that loves them no matter what. Having sex doesn't make you a slapper so please don't think like that.

    :yes:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i wish i wasn't here.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Amilie. How are you today? I hope the morning sickness is easng up a bit? I'm really sorry for what your boyfriend said to you. He's obviously very immature! You need to concentrate on yourself- don't give him the opportunity to upset you again. You don't need the stress. A friend of mine miscarried at the weekend, she was due on September 30th. It was a combination of stress & pressure at work. People can be so mean to pregnant girls, & it's so unhelpful. Don't listen to the crap- if someone says something mean, say that they are hurting you & your baby, not just you. Take care xxx
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    the homeopathic remedy "nux vomica" worked really well for me for pregnancy sickness where nothing else did.
    You can get it in boots or from health food shops.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thank you so much everyone. it is such a relief to know that someone somewhere will support me.
    it sounds stupid but i think morphing into some random alien creature would be easier than this. loads of my teachers are treating me as if i am really thick and don't understand what they are saying.
    i'm not in all my lessons at the moment, mainly because of how other girls in my year are reacting to this. i feel so lonely and isolated at the moment, people who i thought i could depend on won't even look at me, and people who do notice me, it is to tell me i am a whore. and the thing is, there is only so much i can take. it makes me feel so low and dirty. even though it isn't true there is a small part of me that is starting to believe what they are saying.
    and the thing that hurts the most is, someone i used to call my best friend told me today that i have no chance of keeping this baby because information on me has been passed on to mental health services and therefore my baby will be taken into care and social services will look after him/her.
    i don't want that to happen but i know it could. so what is the point now? why should i look after myself when the only thing that is making me look after myself at the moment will be taken away from me?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    your best friend knows nothing. She couldnt possibly have that information and is either making it up as she goes along, or has heard some weird chinese whisper thing which does more harm than good.
    You may well have a social worker allocated to your case, but that will be to support you - not to take your baby away. That rarely rarely happens, seriously
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Honestly honestly the chance of Social Services taking your child away from you are so slim its not even worth worrying about it - but they may well offer you support if they think you need it, if your worried i'm sure you can talk to your local authority to find out what support is avaliable to you - I think they will automatically assign you a social worker anyway because of your age but i'm not 100% certain on that.

    When you go for your booking in appointment with the midwife they will ask you if you have had any mental health issues even if you havent' its probably worth telling them about this incident to pre empt anything.

    With regard to the people at school i would keep a diary of who said what to you and when and leave it to the school to deal with if you want. I would also ask them if its possible for you to stay at home entirely or to transfer somewhere else - though I guess that might be slightly tricky at this stage.

    ETA that one of my friends got reported to social services by one of her friends for something similar involving her baby which was completely untrue (she is still really angry about it and doesn't know who it is). So she was summoned to see a social worker and they were really nice about it saying that they didnt' really believe any of the allegations made against her but that they had to investigate every complaint they recieved - so just to say that people might be totally mean and back stabbing but your always given the benefit of the doubt and that social services are nearly always on yourside.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Absolutely what the other two said. Even if someone from social services sees you - to echo what has been said, it will be to support you, not to take your baby away. The latter very rarely happens anyway (and in cases where it does, it's usually temporarily). Not that I believe anything like that is going to happen to you.

    Forgive my language but some of the people at your school are being vicious, nasty cunts of the highest order. Unplanned pregnancy can happen to anyone, people of all ages and backgrounds, what they're saying to you and how they're treating you is downright disgusting, and I hope they never have to be in the position you're in now.
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