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This is an interesting discussion. Personally, I do believe that sex and gender are different things and that gender is largely a product of what society expects a boy or girl to be like.

I think not feeling like a girl, not feeling like your gender, mainly means not feeling like you are what society expects a girl to be like. I do think that there are some people who are less concerned with societal expectations and are more concerned with their own bodies- for example, a girl feeling that having periods and breasts is wrong to them.

I've never been 'girly' but I also agree that it is really difficult to define what 'feeling a girl' actually feels like. We all experience our sex/gender differently and it depends on so many different variables- from how we feel to our life experiences, both good and bad.

I watched an interesting documentary by Louis Theroux on transgender kids. It was difficult to say whether it was parent or child led, though it did look like some, not all, parents seem to take that if their son wanted to wear dresses then they were trans. They don't seem to think that maybe he just liked the feel of a dress (spinning around in it) or that they liked the colours of the dress (sparkly). I don't believe that such things would make a child trans.

Also, there is an overlap between being autistic and feeling like you don't belong or don't match your gender and being transgender. The problem is when autism is undiagnosed and someone thinks that because they don't feel like their gender, then they must be trans. When that's not necessarily true. That's not to say that all autistic people are trans or all trans people are autistic or that there are no trans people. Just that it's quite a complex and emotive subject. I definitely agree with letting kids be kids!