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Best Of
hello :D
hi, i'm izzy & i'm new to the mix 
i struggle to make friends in real life so i was recommended to try here, it's nice to meet you all 
. i like listening to my chemical romance and pierce the veil (and any other emo band honestly..), playing resident evil and anything to do with attack on titan or studio ghibli. my favourite time of day is sunset because i think it's really cool how our planet just produces something so pretty every day.
i use she/her
i struggle to make friends in real life so i was recommended to try here, it's nice to meet you all . i like listening to my chemical romance and pierce the veil (and any other emo band honestly..), playing resident evil and anything to do with attack on titan or studio ghibli. my favourite time of day is sunset because i think it's really cool how our planet just produces something so pretty every day.i use she/her
Didn’t get on my placement. I'm a failure
I am a failure guys. I’ve felt this way on and off for a long time. I feel so behind, inferior, and like I’m not where I should be. Back in September, I applied for a placement and got a taster session, a chance to show what I could do, but I didn’t get it. Yesterday, I had another taster session for a different placement, and I had the call a few minutes ago for the feedback that wasn’t successful again for yesterday's one. I was late to the session yesterday because I couldn’t find the place, which didn’t help. Being late this time partly affected the outcome, but there were other reasons I didn’t get it too. I also had an interview for an airport job a while ago. I was late to that as well, but I don’t think that played a role in not getting it. Still, I didn’t get that either. Both recent placements were opportunities to prove myself, and I feel like I blew them. I know there are other options out there, and I do have some support, but it just feels so disheartening to have failed twice like this. I’ve been putting effort in and trying to push forward, but I still feel stuck. These repeated setbacks keep knocking me down and making me question everything. I’m frustrated, drained, and it feels like everyone else is moving on while I’m just stuck in place.
Why is sticking to a routine so hard 😂
So I spend 2 hours making routines for college days and weekends etc and I’ve not even started
Me trying to get my life back on track but set myself up for failure 😂😂😂
I spent ages doing these
How do I even make a start 😂😂😂
Me trying to get my life back on track but set myself up for failure 😂😂😂
I spent ages doing these
How do I even make a start 😂😂😂
Rose113
5
I’m a horrible and awful person
Context: if you know the past situations with male k you’ll know there has been a big lead up and the past few days I’ve felt so crap with it all and worn down by the lack of his efforts so I snapped at him last night and I said this…
TW// mentions of medication
TW// mentions of medication
This is the last time I’ll send you a message like this because I’m to tired of trying to save this friendship. Time and time again I’ve tried to stay and not leave because all you do is say people leave and whilst yes people leave but some people leave for good reasons to protect themselves or they get pushed away and your doing a brilliant job at making me not want to stay in this friendship.
You asked me what you have done wrong and whilst I cannot understand why you can’t see what you’ve done wrong over and over I’m a big enough person to communicate so let me tell you.
Your hurting me over and over and you make it impossible for anyone to have a voice and feelings, I’m to busy protecting you because you get upset when others have feelings and you go and tell others about it and send them screenshots but I’m done caring.
I set boundaries and you ignore them ALL the time acting like I’m not human. You set the same boundaries but that’s okay but you expect me to follow them and get upset when I don’t.
You say I don’t listen but you HAVE never listened to me, you walk all over me and ignore anything I do and say. If I say I’m struggling that means nothing to you because everything seems to always be about you. You vent to me everyday and every second of the day which is draining.
You’re constantly bossing me around and you act like I’m a dog, I don’t have to follow your orders. I’ve already walked away from this friendship once and whilst I’m trying to stay your making it very hard to.
I am human, I have feelings, I have mental health problems, I’m not your dummy to walk all over and I’m not your therapist. Treat me like a human, respect me like I’ve always respected you because you are really hurting me. One day I will walk away and I won’t come back.
You say you have autism and you might very well have it and if so that is okay but you forget that I am not stupid! You act dumb and idk why you do that and you don’t show your true self.
I am not your mum so stop pinning those responsibilities on me because that isn’t fair, start being responsible for your own life and act your age. You don’t need my permission for everything and if that carries on I will ignore you because that’s not a nice thing you have been placing on me. The only time I actually want to know what your doing is when your taking painkillers because your so reckless with them but you don’t need to ask me to go toilet, to leave life 360 with kiara, you don’t need permission for everything!!
I’m trying my fucking hardest with this friendship but it’s draining me. Yea I act okay because you are always struggling so I’m expected to be okay because you constantly vent to me. I’ve set this boundary multiple times and I’ve offered to find you help irl but you don’t listen and you don’t put the effort in, anything I suggest you always have a reason on why you can’t do it
The more you let your mental health bring you down because you don’t want to reach out to professionals it will lead to you dragging everyone else down with you!
Start thinking about others because you will loose everyone and then you’ll be alone. Professional are there for a reason and idk how many times I have to tell you but i am NOT and professional. Get that in your head and start making good choices.
This is your last chance before I walk away just like kiara has.
You asked me what you have done wrong and whilst I cannot understand why you can’t see what you’ve done wrong over and over I’m a big enough person to communicate so let me tell you.
Your hurting me over and over and you make it impossible for anyone to have a voice and feelings, I’m to busy protecting you because you get upset when others have feelings and you go and tell others about it and send them screenshots but I’m done caring.
I set boundaries and you ignore them ALL the time acting like I’m not human. You set the same boundaries but that’s okay but you expect me to follow them and get upset when I don’t.
You say I don’t listen but you HAVE never listened to me, you walk all over me and ignore anything I do and say. If I say I’m struggling that means nothing to you because everything seems to always be about you. You vent to me everyday and every second of the day which is draining.
You’re constantly bossing me around and you act like I’m a dog, I don’t have to follow your orders. I’ve already walked away from this friendship once and whilst I’m trying to stay your making it very hard to.
I am human, I have feelings, I have mental health problems, I’m not your dummy to walk all over and I’m not your therapist. Treat me like a human, respect me like I’ve always respected you because you are really hurting me. One day I will walk away and I won’t come back.
You say you have autism and you might very well have it and if so that is okay but you forget that I am not stupid! You act dumb and idk why you do that and you don’t show your true self.
I am not your mum so stop pinning those responsibilities on me because that isn’t fair, start being responsible for your own life and act your age. You don’t need my permission for everything and if that carries on I will ignore you because that’s not a nice thing you have been placing on me. The only time I actually want to know what your doing is when your taking painkillers because your so reckless with them but you don’t need to ask me to go toilet, to leave life 360 with kiara, you don’t need permission for everything!!
I’m trying my fucking hardest with this friendship but it’s draining me. Yea I act okay because you are always struggling so I’m expected to be okay because you constantly vent to me. I’ve set this boundary multiple times and I’ve offered to find you help irl but you don’t listen and you don’t put the effort in, anything I suggest you always have a reason on why you can’t do it
The more you let your mental health bring you down because you don’t want to reach out to professionals it will lead to you dragging everyone else down with you!
Start thinking about others because you will loose everyone and then you’ll be alone. Professional are there for a reason and idk how many times I have to tell you but i am NOT and professional. Get that in your head and start making good choices.
This is your last chance before I walk away just like kiara has.
Rose113
5
Living with Myalgic encephalomyelitis or chronic fatigue syndrome
Even though I've had the diagnosis for just under a month, I have been living with symptoms for the past four years. I don't really go out much other than when I volunteer at the hospital or go grocery shopping. Simple tasks such as walking up the stairs make me feel exhausted. The GP said as there isn't any medication I can take I just have to manage my lifestyle which is hard at times especially when it comes to physical activity. I do try and motivate myself to do more exercise, but my body can't tell the difference between doing 5 minutes of simple exercise and running a marathon. I also experience dizziness, joint pain and brain fog and just a feeling of always being tired 24/7 no matter how much sleep I get. Despite this, I am looking for a job, preferably one that isn't physically tasking for me or one where I can sit most of the time. I try to make the most of each day and work with how my body feels. I enjoy being a part of the mix community as it helps me feel less alone due to my lack of social life.
Your Guide to Supporting Each Other
Hi all!
We often use the term ‘supporting each other’ here on the boards and in other chat spaces, and we figured we would give a guide to what this is and how you can try to provide this for other members of the Community.
What do we mean by supporting each other?
Good question! The definition we tend to run with is: Where people with similar experiences or feelings can share these in a way that feels comfortable for them without any judgement. This can help you understand your own experiences better and help you learn from others by offering that sense of connection, which can reduce loneliness and isolation for everyone involved.
Why are we supporting others?
Supporting others is the foundation of Communities like ours, as you folks are similar in ages and experiences and can offer advice/your own experiences in ways that moderators and staff cannot. We hope to cultivate a culture where everyone can support each other, and not feel that they need to wait for replies from moderators or staff, who are generally around to keep the spaces safe and within guidelines.
But how do I support others?
A few key things to keep in mind when giving support:
Active Listening
- Make it clear that you are listening
- Things like “take your time” or “we are here to listen” or “the Community values you”
- Kind emojis such as hearts, smiles etc
- Ask questions for more details to show you are engaged
- Call back to previous points they’ve made in the discussion, if they listed things bothering them then can always redirect and ask them about one of the other topics
- “I can see/understand/hear why you would feel X”
- Try not to go straight into talking about personal experiences - if you can relate and express that then that's great! But be sure to hear what the other person’s experiences first
- “You only have to share as much as you are comfortable with”
- “You’ve been brave to open up”/We appreciate that you have opened up to us, it can be hard to.."
Asking questions
- Asking about their support network is always a good start
- Asking if they want practical support, emotional support, validation etc
- Asking what have they found helpful in the past
- Ask questions which prompt an answer which is more than a couple of words (aka open questions), such as “What was it like to tell your parents?” rather than “Did telling your parents go well?”
Shared Experiences
- Try to put yourself in their shoes and see what you think you would feel like, ask them if they do feel like this
- If someone else offers peer support and you really especially like something they’ve said then can say things like “I agree with X especially when they said___”
- If you have felt something similar or a situation resonates then you can say what may have helped you or what other things you feel and ask if they might feel the same
- You do not need to ‘fix’ problems or have any answers, a listening ear is enough!
Differences between chats and board replies?
Chats are a bit more fast paced so replies can be shorter and more frequent/broken up into different messages, but this does not mean that your board replies need to be a huge wall of text! Mods or staff may provide longer replies but this doesn’t mean you need to feel you have to. One piece of emotional support, reflecting back on one feeling, asking one open question is more than enough to help someone feel seen and supported.
For example: “Hi X, thank you for sharing today, you’ve been really brave to open up like this. It sounds like you’ve been feeling quite depressed and a bit isolated by your friends, which can be super tough to deal with. How have you been handling these feelings at the moment?”. If you wanted to add in your own experience or anything like that, then this is totally okay!
Self-care
- Of course we want to see as much support as possible so that the community can be as connected as possible, but this should not come at the cost of your own well-being! Ask yourself if you have enough mental energy to support at that moment. Even replying once or twice can make a huge difference regardless.
- Try to come up with a little plan for yourself if you feel a bit funky or drained after helping support, perhaps having a bath or lighting candles, or anything you find calming and soothing.
- Remember to be kind to yourself with the demand of supporting others, it can get exhausting and it’s okay not to be able to sometimes.
- Supporting others can also make you feel better sometimes as it can give that sense of helping out and connecting with others.
Remember: There are no set rules for supporting your peers, but these are some guides and tips you can use. At the end of the day, the most important thing is letting someone know that there is someone listening and cares about their valid feelings.
Does anyone have any questions about supporting your fellow members here on Community?
Is there anything specific we could provide / do to help you feel more confident supporting your fellow members here on Community?
TheMix
7
Ex keeps sexualising me and I can’t get away from it 😭
So my ex 16 year old male and I 14 yer old girl broke up 4 months ago and he is in my friend group, he keeps making comments abt my body and how I look and generally being a asshole. My friends have told him to stop but he just laughs and carries on. This is making me feel bad abt myself and I’m uncomfortable with it, but don’t know what to do. Any advice?
Penny
6
Join our next Community Connectors+ April Meeting!
Hi Everyone,
Anthony from Youth Voice here—hope everyone's well!
I'm announcing that our next Community Connectors+ session will be on Wednesday April 30th from 6:30pm-7:30pm. It will be attended by myself and Owen from the Community team.
The Community Connectors are a monthly Youth Voice group that helps The Community Team hold fun activities, communicate changes, and play a part in the running of the Discussion boards.
We'll be continuing the theme of the past few sessions around holding space for Community changes, as well as getting your thoughts on what the Community Connectors can look like in the future. Here's some more specific details:
Where: Chatwee
When: 30th April, 6:30pm-7:30pm
Who: Anyone on Community
Like before, we're opening up the space to the wider community, beyond the youth voice group members, so if you are wanting to come along to share your thoughts please sign up below and I will email you the password to the room on the day. https://forms.office.com/e/t44yTEszun
Thanks so much for reading, and we hope to see you at the session!
Anthony & Owen
Anthony from Youth Voice here—hope everyone's well!
I'm announcing that our next Community Connectors+ session will be on Wednesday April 30th from 6:30pm-7:30pm. It will be attended by myself and Owen from the Community team.
The Community Connectors are a monthly Youth Voice group that helps The Community Team hold fun activities, communicate changes, and play a part in the running of the Discussion boards.
We'll be continuing the theme of the past few sessions around holding space for Community changes, as well as getting your thoughts on what the Community Connectors can look like in the future. Here's some more specific details:
Where: Chatwee
When: 30th April, 6:30pm-7:30pm
Who: Anyone on Community
Like before, we're opening up the space to the wider community, beyond the youth voice group members, so if you are wanting to come along to share your thoughts please sign up below and I will email you the password to the room on the day. https://forms.office.com/e/t44yTEszun
Thanks so much for reading, and we hope to see you at the session!
Anthony & Owen
Anthony
6
Re: News about Trans Rights
This is awful, why is everything going backwards?! I’m so sorry to everyone affected by this. These views aren’t held by everyone.
Trans women are women.
Trans women are women.
