Best Of

Sian321 wrote: »

Hey @Redemption , thank you for making this post. How are you this morning?

Thank you so much for sharing so openly. It sounds like things have been really heavy lately, and I can hear how much mental energy you’re putting into worrying about upsetting people or being judged. That sounds exhausting, especially when you’ve already been feeling low in confidence and worn down.

What really stands out to me here is how deeply you care about others and how much you want to avoid hurting anyone. I also hear that you’re trying so hard to make sure you never upset anyone, and yet, that also feels like a high standard to hold yourself to. I wonder if sometimes in friendships and relationships, we have to sit with the discomfort of not being able to fully control what others think of us or how they react. It's so, so hard and uncomfortable and scary sometimes, but ultimately, we will at times hurt or disappoint people we care about, simply because we’re human. And that doesn’t have to mean we're bad or unlovable, and it doesn’t have to destroy a relationship. In fact, navigating a conflict and then being able to repair it often deepens the connection or creates even more vulnerability and intimacy!

I wonder, have you ever had an experience where you unintentionally upset someone, but were able to apologies and work through it together? What helped you navigate that moment? How did it feel afterwards?

If you could also accept that mistakes will happen, and that you don't have to get it right every time in relationships, what might that free you up to do differently next time?

You're doing so well to reflect on this, Redemption, and I really hear you noticing that overthinking, getting curious about it, and showing yourself some compassion which is so wonderful. We're here with you to listen and explore this.

Nathan wrote: »

@Cutelivejazz yeah, just saying the cliche's doesn't really help a lot of the time, and from my personal experience, half of it is wrong anyway what's considered the cliche thing to say. And advice that works for one can't really be blanket applied to everybody either. Each person is different and deserves there own personal reply and advice, cause no one situation is the same.

And yeah, that friend you mentioned doesn't exactly sound the most supportive friend at all. When your confiding about stuff that is deeply affecting you personally, a real friend shouldn't shut that down as being too negative or saying you're too depressed. A real friend ought to be there, and be supportive and listen to you. It's a shame, because you are a real friend to them, listening to them rant and ramble.

And a sudden change in friendship's can often take people by suprise, especially really sudden ones. If you were both okay with it for years, and then all of a sudden, overnight it's changed, it's okay for it to feel suprising and make your skin crawl, and make you feel that way. However it makes you feel, it is valid.

And about the PE kit. You are talking to health anxiety expert number 1. I went through a time when i couldn't so much as open my mouth on public transport cause of other peoples germs, washed my hands till they bled a few times, and poured fairy liquid into my eye, cause i touched my eye with the same hand i used to press the traffic light moments before. I've lived with severe health anxiety for a long time. I'm not sure if it is health anxiety what you've got, but wearing what other people wore making your skin crawl does sound familiar to me from my own experience. Please correct me if i'm wrong about it being health anxiety though. I'm biased about instantly assuming it's that, but i've got advice based on my own experience with it if it is.

Also, hat's off to the PE teacher. At least you've got one teacher who is able to be understanding rather than just barking pointless rules at you for the sake of it.

Nathan wrote: »

eylah wrote: »

im not back 100% but just wanted to check in and say hi. i miss you all.

@eylah you're really missed here too. Thanks for checking in my favourite twat in the world

Nathan wrote: »

Redemption wrote: »

DonnerKebab wrote: »

Redemption wrote: »

DonnerKebab wrote: »

Redemption wrote: »

My overthinking is playing up

@Redemption hey bro, as Jazz say's, those are some good techniques to try. If you want to vent a bit about what thoughts your being overwhelmed with, and what you're overthinking over, we're here bro.

@DonnerKebab Thanks bro, its just a couple of things that happened in the past, I don’t think I can talk about it too much but I mentioned it a bit on the daytime chat. I feel so ashamed of myself sometimes too.

@Redemption i fully understand that, but I just wanted to say, from what i've seen, if it is what i think it is, sorry if it's the wrong thing i'm thinking off, but you've got nothing to be ashamed off. Be proud of how far you've come, and how much of a welcome part of the community you are bro.

@DonnerKebab im not too sure fully if its right if we're thinking of the same thing, we might be but I always appreciate your kind words. It sounds super sensitive but I overthink to the point I feel like crying over if a bit, its just like here has been so important to me so if I do something wrong here it hurts more.

@Redemption it's okay to be sensitive to things. We aren't robots with zero emotions. We're human, and things getting us emotional is also human. Don't be pressured by society to feel like you can't be human and can't feel things that strongly effect you. Nothing wrong with being sensative.

Overthinking is difficult, and it can really wear people down, so it's no surprise it brings you to the point of wanting to cry. It's a constant thing until it leaves you emotionally drained and depleted. And it's something that you deserve support with. I know you've finished counselling, but is it worth perhaps looking at NHS talking therapies who can offer things like CBT for those sorts of thought patterns that leads to overthinking?

And like was said in chat earlier, and in the previous post, even if we aren't thinking of the same thing, you have come a long way, and are well loved by the community. That is a fact. Everybody makes mistakes and does stuff wrong. Heck, I've been here for less than 6 months, and I've been given several warnings here and there myself. It's human to make mistakes, to get things wrong at times and not be perfect. I fully get that given how much this place means to you, and that doing something wrong here will hurt more, but you have to give yourself some credit that it is mistakes and everybody makes them. Be kind to yourself over it bro.