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Relationship issue- don’t know what to do
user123
Posts: 44 Boards Initiate
My bf was away travelling on his own and was in a bar and he told me a drunk girl who didn’t speak English would not leave him alone and kept trying to hold his hand and talk to him and he could not get rid of her. He foolishly came up with the idea to take her outside the bar and gave her a hug and kiss on the cheek. This woman was like 30 and he wasn’t attracted to her at all. She wasn’t allowed back in the bar after this. So he did in some way get rid of her. He phoned me to tell me about this and without hearing the full story I broke up with him and said we were done. He then told me later another girl kissed him while they were sitting talking. He said he pulled away and didn’t initiate it. He said he was not attracted to her and it shocked him and he didn’t want to kiss her. He then told me about this after and left the bar. My bf has quite bad social anxiety and feels he has to over compensate to people and can’t read social queues and has no filter essentially. I feel like it may be good learning to not trust other people fully and to take precautions socially and he said he would be happy to have boundaries in place. I’m wondering is this cheating if he didn’t seek out someone else to be with romantically and just handled it all wrong but with no intent? My family have said quite extreme things and I’m wondering how I could possibly be with him anymore after all that’s been said and I’m deeply worrying about what they think of him and it’s kind of consuming me. I know my bf is a good person and I fully trust him and he’s always nearly overly honest and he just puts himself into bad positions. I’m still hurt but I have come to the rationale that I know it wasn’t intentional and he said he’s only ever wanted to be with me and I do believe him. What do yous think? How do I continue with him if my family have said such strong things against him? I’m very worried and it’s impacting my uni as I can’t concentrate on anything and I have deadlines coming up. Any advice would be really helpful thank you ❤️
Post edited by user123 on
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Comments
Firstly, I’m so sorry to hear about this, it sounds like an overwhelming time for you and you’re very valid for feeling these emotions.
In my opinion, I would say that although your family probably has good intentions, don’t necessarily let them dictate your decision and thoughts on this. From what you’ve shared, it sounds like your boyfriend didn’t intentionally hurt you especially as you’ve mentioned he’s honest and cares for you a lot.
If you feel comfortable and have a desire to continue with this relationship I would suggest giving it a go and ignoring your family’s comments becuase it is your life and you deserve to choose. However, if maybe you don’t feel comfortable with continuing the relationship that’s also completely understandable and valid!
I’m sorry if this wasn’t super helpful but I wish you all the best💗
Feel free to give us an update if you feel like it