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[OLD] The 'I need a hug' thread - please read first post before posting :)
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I know dad isn't here with us and he hasn't been for years but I could really do with him right now. Nothing could prepare me for this, this really it.
I don't want to live in this vessel and I don't know what to to
Honestly I've been feeling like that too and I've been too scared to talk to anyone about it. Do you recon in might be stress related or is there anything that's happened to make you feel this way ?
Hey @LorryTruck
Talking is a really good first step and I'm really glad that you were able to confide in us at The Mix. Understanding where these thoughts may be coming from is a great start and like you've mentioned it could be related to your previous experiences and even if it did happen a while ago it's on uncommon for things to pop up.
I came across a video of a psychiatrist and she did a really good job of breaking down the difference between anxiety worries and delusions, it really helped me to make sense of my thoughts (if I can find the link I'll post it). Either way it's really confusing and scary trying to make sense of all these thoughts, especially because you want to be taken seriously and scared or the repercusions of what would happen if you shared what was going on.
I remember the first time I told my psychiatrist about my "thoughts" and I remember how relived I felt to be heard and not judged. I have BPD so I know it's not uncommon to experience stress induced delusions. I have a job that's quite stressful and I'm not longer medicated so that combined mixed with other stuff.
Do you you have any techniques to helpe make sense of everything ?
I’m suspended they didn’t send me home or got occupational health involved as if she didn’t come looking for me I would of been self harming and the clear plan is to send me home and suspend me if I express thoughts of suicide or self harm at work. I guess I didn’t do any of those so I’m glad I still have job. I’m getting scared
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My sick was black. Does that mean dry blood ?( I was sick a lot from alcohol but was drinking on a completely empty stomach soo probably why? It feels concerning. I still feel slightly unwell but that’s normal for me and stopped being sick but why was it black
Hi @Mel_ , thank you so much for sharing this with us tonight. It sounds like you're dealing with a lot just now and I hear you don't feel like you're coping at the moment. In your previous post you mentioned that you 100% find out today (Thursday) what direction your case is going, can I ask if that happened today? How did that feel for you?
I'm hearing that you've recently had suicidal thoughts and have reached out to SHOUT in the past when things have felt really difficult, its really positive that you've taken that step before Mel. I also wanted to share some additional resources for tonight, as I get the sense you feel as though getting through tonight might be quite challenging:
Samartians (24/7) | call 116 123 | email jo@samaritans.org
Papyrus (2pm-midnight) | call 0800 068 41 41 | text 07786 209 697 | email pat@payrus-uk.org
Supportline (hours vary) | call 01708 765 200
We're all here for you, you absolutely deserve support to cope this evening Mel! How do you intend on spending your time tonight?
Yeah it happened today. I don’t want to put it all on here but it didn’t go well. I feel very numb and not with it right now.
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