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The poem spot

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  • LorryTruckLorryTruck Definition of a mental mess and a certified lost cause :) EnglandPosts: 2,242 Boards Champion
    edited March 18
    [deleted]
    Post edited by Mike on
    The dark is the only place I feel like I belong...
    DistractionPast User
  • DistractionDistraction Noob ScotlandPosts: 312 The Mix Regular
    edited January 16
    A witness to a sisters beating


    I stood and watched.

    Right on that spot.

    With my feet stuck, I watched.

    As I stood.

    On that spot, I watched, And watched.

    My feet still stuck.

    Feeling so much

    And thinking about my feet, that were stuck.

    Right on that very spot.

    As I watched.

    Post edited by Distraction on
    Past UserLorryTruck
  • DistractionDistraction Noob ScotlandPosts: 312 The Mix Regular
    edited January 16
    My sister died before we could rebuild our relationship  

    I’m not ready.

    Not yet.

    But I was too late, In the end.

    Simply too late to even begin.

    Post edited by Distraction on
    Past UserPast UserLorryTruck
  • DistractionDistraction Noob ScotlandPosts: 312 The Mix Regular

    Tired


    I don’t know what to tell you,

    I don’t even know where to begin.

    I just need you to know…

    That I’m trying to fight a darkness, that really wants to win.

     

    At first it was just a little sadness,

    Nothing too severe.

    But now it’s so much stronger,

    Attacking me with fears.

     

    I try to find my peace,

    I try to be alright.

     

    But sometimes it just holds me, oh so very tight.  

    Past UserPast UserLorryTruck
  • LorryTruckLorryTruck Definition of a mental mess and a certified lost cause :) EnglandPosts: 2,242 Boards Champion
    Constantly breaking
    Body shaking
    I'm not faking
    I'm not faking

    Always afraid
    to face my cage
    to face my rage
    to face my pain

    This is not for show
    My head is about to blow
    Everything is wrong
    This is not for show
    The dark is the only place I feel like I belong...
    Distraction
  • DancerDancer Bog Off Justine! Posts: 5,897 Part of The Furniture
    Roses are red
    Violets are blue
    I smelt a fart
    And knew it was you
    I'm a fruit loop. 🍊➰

    There's a part of me I can't get back.  A little girl grew up too fast. All it took was once. I'll never be the same.
    LorryTruckDistraction
  • LorryTruckLorryTruck Definition of a mental mess and a certified lost cause :) EnglandPosts: 2,242 Boards Champion
    edited March 8
    @Dancer hahaha. i love that poem.
    The dark is the only place I feel like I belong...
  • SkyeSkye Posts: 91 Budding Regular
    "There are pieces of us scattered across the world.
    In words, on skin, in hearts.
    Do we realize the significance?
    A letter, a touch, a heartbeat
    And if we gathered all these pieces together,
    Would we display it as our masterpiece?
    It mattered, more than we realized
    Let us not be careless about a single moment."
    Would anyone care, would anyone cry If I finally stepped off of this ledge tonight?
    DistractionLorryTruck
  • LorryTruckLorryTruck Definition of a mental mess and a certified lost cause :) EnglandPosts: 2,242 Boards Champion
    I cannot hide
    Always on the side
    Tell me why I should fight
    When there is never light

    Why should I survive
    When I ruined my life
    Such a waste of space
    that shouldn't be replaced

    You would stop me leaving
    but you wouldn't stop me breathing
    You force me to fight
    When there is no light

    Who cares if I was broken?
    I was already hopeless.
    The dark is the only place I feel like I belong...
    SkyeDistraction
  • SkyeSkye Posts: 91 Budding Regular
    I shouldn't hurt the people whose intentions were to love me
    But why let them love the person I am not?
    I am not capable of love, love and me– we both crash and tumble like the sea
    We don't go together, we collide, fight and leave the other to rot.
    Love and me….we're enemies
    And accident or not, I know
    Hurting them wasn't right
    But it was the only way to show
    The monster that lay inside
    I gave them warnings, they don't listen, hate me for what I am, don't love me for what I'm not.
    Would anyone care, would anyone cry If I finally stepped off of this ledge tonight?
    LorryTruckDistraction
  • LorryTruckLorryTruck Definition of a mental mess and a certified lost cause :) EnglandPosts: 2,242 Boards Champion
    This isnt real
    This isnt how
    I'm supposed to feel.
    Time won't heal
    It'll only seal
    Only conceal
    This isn't real.

    Always cautious
    Guarded like a promise
    Don't leave me hopeless
    Captivate my focus
    The dark is the only place I feel like I belong...
    Distraction
  • SkyeSkye Posts: 91 Budding Regular
    Come to think of it
    I'm not entirely sure
    where I lost myself

    Maybe it was in those 8 hours
    of classtime
    lost in notes and due dates
    equations and definitions

    In beds of strangers or
    old friends who I no longer
    know the whereabouts of

    Was it in love lost and forgotten?
    Perhaps words and friendly exchanges
    greetings and goodbyes

    Did I lose myself somewhere
    along the roads driven on
    late nights
    to places with people whose
    faces I won't ever recall?

    Did I leave myself behind in
    books or shows or at the cinema?
    In lonely coffee shops?
    Or crowded concert halls?

    Or maybe it was in the ticking of clocks
    and counting of time
    waiting for the better times
    that never came

    Come to think of it
    I'm not entirely sure I lost myself
    I'm not entirely sure I ever had myself

    Maybe all these places
    are where I've found myself
    Would anyone care, would anyone cry If I finally stepped off of this ledge tonight?
    DistractionLorryTruck
  • DistractionDistraction Noob ScotlandPosts: 312 The Mix Regular
    @Skye Love this <3
    Skye
  • LorryTruckLorryTruck Definition of a mental mess and a certified lost cause :) EnglandPosts: 2,242 Boards Champion
    Confession

    I'll confess
    I'm a walking, talking mess
    I'll admit
    I have nothing left

    I'll confess
    I have sinned
    And I obsess
    Over thoughts I think

    I'll confess
    I'm on the edge
    And I forget
    where I left my head

    I'll confess
    everything is wrong
    Slowly dying
    feeling like a no one.

    The dark is the only place I feel like I belong...
    Past UserSkyeDistraction
  • SkyeSkye Posts: 91 Budding Regular
    I think that if you let me,
    I'd treat you like the sky,
    I'd join up all your insecurities
    and bundle all your flaws.
    I'd create a new constellation
    and search for it endlessly.

    I know you don't see yourself,
    the way I see you.
    And you still argue,
    when I call you beautiful.
    But all the things you can't stand
    about yourself,
    are all the things I can't
    go a day without.

    I think that if you let me,
    I'd built a observatory,
    just to show you
    that all the stars
    will never shine as bright
    As you.
    Would anyone care, would anyone cry If I finally stepped off of this ledge tonight?
    DistractionLorryTruck
  • LorryTruckLorryTruck Definition of a mental mess and a certified lost cause :) EnglandPosts: 2,242 Boards Champion
    Please stay
    I promise I'll change
    It doesnt have to be this way
    I apologize for my mistakes

    I know I deserve the hate
    I know I deserve the pain
    I deserve the chains
    I'm not worthy of a name


    The dark is the only place I feel like I belong...
    SkyeDistraction
  • SkyeSkye Posts: 91 Budding Regular
    Wish you were here

    I close my eyes
    And look for you
    I can feel you are here
    Can you feel my presence too?
    There are flowers everywhere
    But amidst their fragrance
    I can still smell your cologne
    That familiar zesty smell
    Maybe it's coming from your jacket
    That I'm wearing
    But you are here
    And You are smiling
    That damn smile I fell in love with
    You wipe my cheeks
    I didn't even noticed I was crying
    And then
    I put my hand on your chest
    But I can't feel your heartbeat
    I'll look at you With confusion
    You just tell me to open my eyes
    I do
    My hand-
    Is not on your chest
    It's on your headstone
    The flowers on your grave
    You're here but not with me
    you are here but buried deep.
    Would anyone care, would anyone cry If I finally stepped off of this ledge tonight?
    LorryTruckDistraction
  • LorryTruckLorryTruck Definition of a mental mess and a certified lost cause :) EnglandPosts: 2,242 Boards Champion
    How am I supposed to fucking cope?
    Was I meant to fucking know?

    Dancing on the ledge
    its easy to forget Im on the edge

    Im kinda misunderstood
    Dont know what its like to be loved

    Do I look happy?
    Then I'm sorry I'm sad.
    Just because I'm laughing
    Doesn't mean that I'm glad

    Was I supposed to know?
    Was I supposed to cope?
    So unworthy of love
    I'm a certified lost cause

    I'm happy you found your way
    But I'll never be OK.
    The dark is the only place I feel like I belong...
    SkyeDistraction
  • SkyeSkye Posts: 91 Budding Regular
    You told me you had my back,
    And I thought that it was true,
    Now my shadow's still behind me,
    But where on earth are you?
    Would anyone care, would anyone cry If I finally stepped off of this ledge tonight?
    LorryTruckDistraction
  • DistractionDistraction Noob ScotlandPosts: 312 The Mix Regular
    I want a mum.
    I want a mum who’s always been there,
    Who knows more about me then I do,
    I want a mum who’s been to my plays,
    Who’s seen me on sports days
    And watched me become who I am today.

    I want a mum that won’t leave me,
    Who won’t walk away,
    I want a mum, that really loves me and is here to stay.
    LorryTruck
  • DistractionDistraction Noob ScotlandPosts: 312 The Mix Regular
    My eyesight goes blurry,
    My legs to jelly,
    And my heart… extremely heavy.

    While my breath whispers to a stop
    And my mind floats far above
    Another night of darkness, clutches at my throat.
    LorryTruck
  • LorryTruckLorryTruck Definition of a mental mess and a certified lost cause :) EnglandPosts: 2,242 Boards Champion
    Surrender

    Take me back
    to when I was ten.
    Because I'm scared
    What if I break down again?
    Take me to then
    All my energy is spent
    erase these dents
    Because I have nothing left

    But what if I break down again?
    What if I make the same mistakes?
    Can you replace the seconds chances I waste?

    I give up, I surrender
    Because I don't want to be like this forever
    I'll stand down, I'll chance this
    Because I never wanted to be like this
    I surrender...

    Take me back
    to when I was OK
    Struggling to focus
    Trying to be honest
    Take me tot the days
    No pain, no hate
    Always OK, always safe,
    before I started living in this pain.

    But what if I break down again?
    What if I end up on the edge again?
    Can you turn on the light when I drown in the choices I made?

    And I give up, I surrender
    Because I don't want to be like this forever
    I'll stand down, I'll chance this
    Because I never wanted to be like this
    I surrender...

    I don't want to be like this forever.
    The dark is the only place I feel like I belong...
    Distraction
  • LorryTruckLorryTruck Definition of a mental mess and a certified lost cause :) EnglandPosts: 2,242 Boards Champion
    I don't know

    Demonized
    Penalized
    Is this legalized?
    I don't know

    Criticized
    Pushed aside
    Wonder why
    I don't know

    Live a lie
    Look at the sky
    Look mortified
    Confused for sure

    Sorta surprised
    Patronized
    This is unadvised
    Makes no sense

    Demoralized
    Unauthorized
    Disorganized
    Who broke that fence?

    Your words are like knives
    I know I'm wasting my time
    Am I traumatized?
    I don't know

    I don't know
    I don't know
    This is not a show
    This is not a show




    The dark is the only place I feel like I belong...
    lovemimoonDistraction
  • LorryTruckLorryTruck Definition of a mental mess and a certified lost cause :) EnglandPosts: 2,242 Boards Champion
    edited May 21
    Hurt

    "Hold your head high"
    "Don't let them change your smile"
    "Don't let them ruin your life"
    I think about what you said every once in a while

    Before it started raining
    Before the walls started caving
    Before I started failing
    Before I started fading

    Because I'm hurting all of the time
    The dark left me barely alive
    The shock it brings caught me by surprise
    I wonder if you see it when you look in my eyes

    Do you see my tortured soul?
    Mind so gone it left a hole
    Do you think it's something I chose?
    Or do you see what most people don't?

    That it started raining
    That my walls started caving
    That I think I'm failing
    That I'm slowly fading

    Because I'm hurting all of the time
    But I never even cried
    The dark left me barely alive
    But sometimes I think I should've died
    The shock it brings caught me by surprise
    The smile you see is a lie of a kind
    I wonder if you see it when you look in my eyes
    Do you see what's going on in my mind?

    Zoning out while it's raining down
    It's caving now and I'm not proud
    I'm failing now but please don't shout
    I'm fading out, can't make a sound

    Because I'm hurting all of the time
    But I never even cried
    The dark left me barely alive
    But sometimes I think I should've died
    The shock it brings caught me by surprise
    The smile you see is a lie of a kind
    I wonder if you see it when you look in my eyes
    Do you see what's going on in my mind?

    I'm hurt
    But I hope I'll make it out
    Everything you said is screaming loud
    I'm hurt
    But I hope I'll make it out

    (note: i feel like this is more of a song than a poem)
    The dark is the only place I feel like I belong...
    lovemimoonDistraction
  • LorryTruckLorryTruck Definition of a mental mess and a certified lost cause :) EnglandPosts: 2,242 Boards Champion
    I'm wasting time
    Looking and the clock and wondering why
    If I'm so worthless to you, then why am I alive?
    If you want me dead then why wont you take the knife?

    Why won't you take my life?

    If you could see the anger burning my veins
    If you could see my pain when you look at my face
    Would you still think I'm a disgrace?
    Someone better of dead that shouldn't be replaced?

    When you look in my eyes, what do you find?



    The dark is the only place I feel like I belong...
    lovemimoonDistraction
  • rainskyerainskye Leeds, UK Posts: 130 The Mix Convert
    You told me I was yours, but that's not how I felt.

    On our last date, we went to our favourite restaurant and I kept the menu and haven’t looked at it since.
    I keep it in my desk drawer and try not to remember the way your voice cracked when you Whispered my name and breathed your secrets into my mouth before trying to rip them back out Through my heart when you decided you’d had enough.

    At night I lay awake and commend my mind and conjure up any thought that’s not you and your green eyes and dimples.

    But in the grand essay of your past lovers,
    I am the typo on the third page that knocks down your grade 2 points,
    The screw up you would do anything to hit backspace on,
    I am the messy extra space that is somehow overlooked by your blind eyes because it’s 2am and you stopped giving a crap at 10.

    I am the coffee stain that gives away your lack of sleep,
    Like a badge worn across your chest
    Like a bruise on your forehead that she won't notice when she leans into kiss you.

    And I’m awake every morning,
    Judged and heartache and heavily breathing out the rhythm your heart would play,
    As I lie at night with my head on your chest,
    And my heart in your hands ,
    And my body on your mind.

    I was the red button you weren’t supposed to press,
    No matter how many times you were told not to,
    I was the wet paint sign you couldn't resist touching,
    I was the fire alarm you just had to pull.

    But I would burn my tongue on hot chocolate watching the sun rise with you again and again
    If it would resurrect the christmas lights that burn like dying stars in my stomach,
    And the fleeting moment when I truly believed you could love me again.

    Kisses were like butterfly wings that became bats all too quickly.
    Your love is like a fever that broke too fast, sweating and crying at 2am.

    LorryTrucklovemimoonDistraction
  • LorryTruckLorryTruck Definition of a mental mess and a certified lost cause :) EnglandPosts: 2,242 Boards Champion
    Walking along the edge
    Drowning in my head
    Think I'm sorta obsessed
    With the thought I'm better of dead

    These thoughts are screaming
    Wrists are bleeding
    But I'm not leaving
    I won't stop breathing

    I will hide it
    Suffer in silence
    So you don't call me a liar
    I bow down my highness

    Searching for reasons
    Just want to stop feeling

    I will stay
    I dont care if I'm never OK

    I wont let them beat me
    I will stay breathing
    The dark is the only place I feel like I belong...
    Distraction
  • DistractionDistraction Noob ScotlandPosts: 312 The Mix Regular
    I finally wrote a poem thanks to @LorryTruck for suggesting to write everything out, btw really love your poems LorryTruck <3

    *TW*

    Dancing with SH

    Deception is what I fell for,
    Believing you could fix me.
    I thought with you…
    I’d never feel lonely,
    I thought…
    You’d always be with me,
    I didn’t realise you were just trying to kill me,

    The same way I didn’t know that such relief comes with such agony,
    And now.
    I sit here,
    Wishing we never met,
    Because all I want is for you to finish it.
    But I’ll always be in your debt.
    lovemimoonLorryTruck
  • DistractionDistraction Noob ScotlandPosts: 312 The Mix Regular
    edited June 17
    Hannah


    My sister.

    My friend.

    I think I forgive you.

    May you rest in peace and may my love protect you.

    <3<3<3
    lovemimoonLorryTruck
  • LorryTruckLorryTruck Definition of a mental mess and a certified lost cause :) EnglandPosts: 2,242 Boards Champion
    edited July 17
    @Distraction You're poems are always really amazing as well! <3 Some of the stuff I remember sometimes because they're so powerful. Keep writing! <3

    PTW:::::

    mental monsters

    I couldn't see the warning signs
    It happens all of the goddamn time
    My mind is so slow it's left behind
    I am tired of living my life on the side
    Every word you say hits me like knives
    All you ever do is criticize
    I'm sick of all your manipulative lies
    Not going to deny it you're one of a kind.

    You are a monster
    I let you control me
    You are a monster
    I let you hold me
    You are a monster
    I let you console me
    You are a monster
    I let you eat a hole in me

    mod edit: spelling correction on request
    Post edited by Mike on
    The dark is the only place I feel like I belong...
    lovemimoonDistraction
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