The poem spot

Distraction

(Untitled)

Theres a feeling…

It wraps around my throat,
Sits in my chest,
Crushes my breath,

It screams in my head,
Cuts my heart to shreds,

And drags me down,
Into unimaginable depths.


It makes me believe,
That there’s nothing left,

That all this fighting,
All this striving,

Is a life,
That maybe,
Just isn't worth surviving

Distraction

It'll be ok (TW Abuse, si)


It’ll be ok,
I tell myself,
As my mother batters down the door,

It’ll be ok,
As my sister,
Screams like murder,
From being beaten to the floor,

It’ll be ok,
Even if my mother says,
She doesn’t want to live anymore,

It’ll be ok,
As the nightmares,
Drive me to self destructive thoughts,

It’ll be ok,
As the bullies,
Beat me and walk away,

It’ll be ok,
As my mother,
Aims for the barriers,
On the motorway,

It’ll be ok,
Moving country,
To stay with a lady,
I’ve only visited,
A handful of times before,

It’ll be ok,
As I scrape by the days,
Wondering,
What it’s all for,

It’ll be ok,
As I feel more alone then ever,
Crumbling to the floor

It’ll be ok,
Even if I can’t take it anymore,

It’ll be ok,
As I move away,
To train,
For a career in war,

It’ll be ok,
When I need to move back home,
Because I’m not strong enough anymore,

It’ll be ok,
As I drag myself around,
Looking for work,

It’ll be ok,
When that man,
Violates the law,

It’ll be ok,
As I try once more,

It’ll be ok,
As I keep drowning,
In this darkness,
Fighting,
To be something more,

And maybe,
One day,
It really will be ok,

But I doubt life,
Ever stops being cruel,
In so many ways.

Distraction

(TW SI)

(probably don't read if ur emotional)

(everything's ok, there just the words I happened to type)

...

I could just die,
A thought that’s been with me,
My whole damn life,

But then,
I won’t ever feel pride,
For how far,
I might thrive,

Or show how much,
I have truly survived,

It’s just…
Sometimes,
Like tonight,
When it hurts to much to cry,
When the numbness,
Aches, with such demise

I just want to curl up,
And pretend,
I’ve never been alive,

It’s like…
I’m getting my mothers eyes,
And the silent pain they cried,

Maybe…
She was right,
To press that knife,
Against my throat that night,

Maybe…
I should have just let it be,

And maybe,
Just maybe,
She was looking out for me.