Nothing to live for anymore

Former Member

You've been talking about getting a job for ages. Have you actually done anything at all about it?

If there's anything I've learned this year, then that would be that there is an enormous difference in thinking about doing something and actually doing it.
The cold hard fact is that nobody cares what you think about doing, what matters is what you do.

Think less, do more. It takes practice, but that's one of the things you need to start doing.

Find a hobby, look for a job, etc... do everything but sit at home and brood, thinking about everything you could be doing.

Former Member

xmizzcattyx: I can't live purely for the sake of another person's happiness. I need to have something to do with my own life, otherwise I'm effectively living someone else's life.

queenmab_roo: You may well talk of North Wales as being a beautiful place to live. And that is indeed true. However, when you live in the countryside and see these things on a daily basis, the novelty does seem to wear rather thin for me. As for foxes, I have never seen one in this area. Squirrels are plentiful.

FallenAngel84: I feel the same way. I can't cope when things go wrong either, even small things. I've written out plans for my suicide regularly. I don't have them anymore, I handed them to my counsellor a few weeks ago. Last time I wrote one was about two weeks ago. As for Sainsbury, there's none in the area I live in either.

HunnyPot: It's not just about someone off the Internet. I often feel total despair at the fact I can't seem to do anything right.

Fáfnir VII: I haven't. The reason I haven't is because I can't. I haven't a hope in hell of being able to get a job. No sensible employer is going to hire someone who's permanently depressed and suicidal.

Former Member

You know what? You'd hurt a hell of a lot of people if you went through with this. You might not think so but you would and a lot of people on these boards would be affected by it. Loads of people here have been where you are and come out the other side, does that not tell you something? You can get through this. Yeah it sucks, life's a bitch, and it's damn hard sometimes especially when you're depressed, but nothing lasts forever. Keep trying to get a job, keep telling yourself how beautiful the countryside is (hell, I miss it in London), and stop focussing on what you think are your own flaws. It's not easy but it makes things look a whole lot brighter in the end.

Good luck.

Former Member

Originally posted by piccolo
You know what? You'd hurt a hell of a lot of people if you went through with this. You might not think so but you would and a lot of people on these boards would be affected by it. Loads of people here have been where you are and come out the other side, does that not tell you something? You can get through this.

Man, I wish I was in London. I'd love to go and stay there just for a few days so I could look around the city and get away from my current surroundings for a little while. As for people being hurt if I went ahead and killed myself, I simply don't know how people would react to that. I know that a few people on these boards have been through depression, like Kermit and Kaffrin for instance, but I'm not as strong as they are.

Former Member

Originally posted by stargalaxy
I know that a few people on these boards have been through depression, like Kermit and Kaffrin for instance, but I'm not as strong as they are.

Bollocks. Dismissing yourself by saying "I'm not strong enough" is just an excuse. You can do it.

Former Member

Originally posted by piccolo
Bollocks. Dismissing yourself by saying "I'm not strong enough" is just an excuse. You can do it.

Why does everyone keep saying that? Everyone here seems to believe in the mantra that one can achieve anything. I don't even know what I can do.

Former Member

Originally posted by stargalaxy
Why does everyone keep saying that? Everyone here seems to believe in the mantra that one can achieve anything. I don't even know what I can do.

quote:

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Originally posted by 1983:
Why don't you get a new job? There'll be loads of adverts on websites/papers saying "New year, new career"... Even if it's working in Asda, don't knock it. You NEED to get a job, mate. It'll be a start of something new.

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quote:

---

Originally posted by 1983:
Why don't you get a new job? There'll be loads of adverts on websites/papers saying "New year, new career"... Even if it's working in Asda, don't knock it. You NEED to get a job, mate. It'll be a start of something new.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by 1983:
Why don't you get a new job? There'll be loads of adverts on websites/papers saying "New year, new career"... Even if it's working in Asda, don't knock it. You NEED to get a job, mate. It'll be a start of something new.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by 1983:
Why don't you get a new job? There'll be loads of adverts on websites/papers saying "New year, new career"... Even if it's working in Asda, don't knock it. You NEED to get a job, mate. It'll be a start of something new.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by 1983:
Why don't you get a new job? There'll be loads of adverts on websites/papers saying "New year, new career"... Even if it's working in Asda, don't knock it. You NEED to get a job, mate. It'll be a start of something new.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by 1983:
Why don't you get a new job? There'll be loads of adverts on websites/papers saying "New year, new career"... Even if it's working in Asda, don't knock it. You NEED to get a job, mate. It'll be a start of something new.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by 1983:
Why don't you get a new job? There'll be loads of adverts on websites/papers saying "New year, new career"... Even if it's working in Asda, don't knock it. You NEED to get a job, mate. It'll be a start of something new.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by 1983:
Why don't you get a new job? There'll be loads of adverts on websites/papers saying "New year, new career"... Even if it's working in Asda, don't knock it. You NEED to get a job, mate. It'll be a start of something new.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by 1983:
Why don't you get a new job? There'll be loads of adverts on websites/papers saying "New year, new career"... Even if it's working in Asda, don't knock it. You NEED to get a job, mate. It'll be a start of something new.

---

Former Member

What was the point of posting exactly the same message seven times?

EDITED: Look, I know that I need a job. But that doesn't stop me from being very scared about it.

Former Member

Originally posted by stargalaxy
What was the point of posting exactly the same message seven times?

Stating the ruddy obvious.

See all this time you're on here saying you can't do anything because you're this that and everything else? That energy could be used constructively to get a job.

Print 20 CVs, put them into envelopes, addressed "F.A.O Store Manager/Personell".

Iron your suit, get into it, and get into your town and dish the CVs about as well as keeping one aside for your local recruitment agency.

Former Member

Originally posted by 1983
See all this time you're on here saying you can't do anything because you're this that and everything else? That energy could be used constructively to get a job. Print 20 CVs, put them into envelopes, addressed "F.A.O Store Manager/Personell". Iron your suit, get into it, and get into your town and dish the CVs about as well as keeping one aside for your local recruitment agency.

Iron my suit? I don't even have one. That's another expense I can't afford.

Former Member

Originally posted by stargalaxy
Look, I know that I need a job. But that doesn't stop me from being very scared about it.

Well, I'm scared of how much debt I am with the bank but I still go and pay money in with disparraging looks from them.

I'm scared of lots of things, but you have to jump over your fears and land on two feet rather than wasting away and complaining to us when we give you SUCH good advice only for you to reply with the odd "You're right..I'll do it.." and then you're all "Ahh, I'm scared"

Of what?! What is there to be scared of? Tell me.

Former Member

Originally posted by stargalaxy
Iron my suit? I don't even have one. That's another expense I can't afford.

GAH! Your best trousers and crisp white shirt and tie. Honestly, common sense.

Former Member

Originally posted by 1983
Of what?! What is there to be scared of? Tell me.

Rejection. I'm scared that when I apply for a job, they're going to turn me away or laugh at me.

Former Member

Originally posted by 1983
GAH! Your best trousers and crisp white shirt and tie. Honestly, common sense.

Don't have these either, I'm afraid. Oh, I'm so useless.

Former Member

Originally posted by stargalaxy
Rejection. I'm scared that when I apply for a job, they're going to turn me away or laugh at me.

That's why you apply for as many jobs at the same time as you can. One will have to accept, if you get rejected it really won't be with a laugh unless you go to a shoddy company with no manners/managerial skills.

Former Member

Originally posted by stargalaxy
Don't have these either, I'm afraid. Oh, I'm so useless.

Well, you're not useless. Deep down you do want this, and you have to face facts a job won't land at your feet unless you take one tiny step.

You tell your parents you want to get a pair of decent trousers and a shirt and a nice tie.

You tell them you want to get your life in order and be independent, but you'll need their help in this first step.

You buy all the newspapers with job listings you can. You phone them up, you visit the premisis. You make an effort.

Former Member

Speaking of jobs, I have to get ready for mine.

Toodles.

Former Member

Originally posted by 1983
Well, you're not useless. Deep down you do want this, and you have to face facts a job won't land at your feet unless you take one tiny step.

I'm so hopeless. The last time I tried to fill in an application form for a job, I burst into tears. I honestly don't believe I can do this.

Former Member

There are so much more worse than you. You want to die because you can't see point to life. You are really ungrateful.

Such a waste. This isn't any vindictive spat to further you into suicide. I'm stating the obvious again.

Former Member

Originally posted by 1983
There are so much more worse than you. You want to die because you can't see point to life. You are really ungrateful. Such a waste. This isn't any vindictive spat to further you into suicide.

I don't understand that.

Former Member

Originally posted by stargalaxy
I don't understand that.

Translation means get a grip its not worth ending it over & only you can make your life better. That takes effort.

Former Member

Originally posted by stargalaxy
I don't understand that.

There will always be someone worse off than you. However low you might feel, and however much you might want to end it all, there will always be someone that can put your problems into perspective.

You have a roof over your head. You have family. There, that's two basic things that so many people don't have, but you do, and that's something to be grateful for. I understand that it might be difficult to see that and appreciate that, but surely you can't disagree that there are good things in your life?

Former Member

In case you haven't heard of it already....http://www.jobcentreplus.gov.uk

Former Member

when it comes down to it, you have two choices:

carry on the way you are or make things better for yourself.

you can sit and talk about how sad you are til you're blue in the face. it doesn't help. no knight in shining armour comes along and says 'oh, i didn't realise you were sad. let me help you.' you have to do it.

if you say things like 'i will never be able to do that', 'i am not strong enough', 'i will always fail' then guess what? you do. self-fulfilling prophecy.

Former Member

Originally posted by kaffrin
if you say things like 'i will never be able to do that', 'i am not strong enough', 'i will always fail' then guess what? you do. self-fulfilling prophecy.

So, what am I supposed to say? "I'm strong enough"? "I'm able to achieve anything"? "I can always succeed at everything I do"? I'm sorry, I can't say those things, as I'd be lying through my teeth.

I'm trying to sort out a visit to London for next weekend. I'm also trying to apply for uni. I see it as a way of forcing myself to do things like getting a job and getting some friends. I think filling in that application might get the ball rolling. I'd say it's worth a try.

Former Member

Originally posted by stargalaxy
So, what am I supposed to say? "I'm strong enough"? "I'm able to achieve anything"? "I can always succeed at everything I do"? I'm sorry, I can't say those things, as I'd be lying through my teeth.

"I might not be able to achieve everything i want to, but goddamit i'll die trying"

Former Member

Originally posted by kaffrin
"I might not be able to achieve everything i want to, but goddamit i'll die trying"

Thank you for telling it as it is! I've raised that point with people before, they always say "you can achieve anything" even though they don't believe it and neither do I. But that is a quote I can respect!

Former Member

Ever heard the statement that Smiling, even if you are unhappy, makes you feel good? Even if it is a forced smile?

That's what people mean when they say "tell yourself you can do it". It's all about getting yourself into the mindframe.

Stop throwing up obstacles. So, yes, last time you cried when tryin to fill out an application. Well, try again. Get all you need- GCSEs, other info, altogether. Get a variety of application forms.

Out of the application forms you get, pick out one or two that seem incredibly simple and straightforward. not one of these that ask you to name situations where you've been X Y Z and done A B C. but a simple straightforward one that jus asks qualifications and hobbies, etc. If you think you have no hobbies, mention the internet or something. dog walking can go down as a hobby. You're applying to uni still, yes? an application form is just like the UCAS form in ways.

Alternatively, go into your local jobcentre or connexions. Get an appointment. Have you been to counselling? Treat it like that- except your aim is to get a job There, you can talk to someone, who will give you all the help and support that you need. they'll walk you through it. includng writing a CV etc.

Just Dont Give Up.

Former Member

Originally posted by HunnyPot
http://www.jobcentreplus.gov.uk

Unfortunately, many of the jobs in the area I live in have a requirement that you are able to drive. And I can't. And learning would be impossible as I simply can't afford it.

Former Member

Originally posted by queenmab_roo
Ever heard the statement that Smiling, even if you are unhappy, makes you feel good? Even if it is a forced smile? That's what people mean when they say "tell yourself you can do it". It's all about getting yourself into the mindframe.

I suppose I'll have to force myself into this mindframe.

Stop throwing up obstacles. So, yes, last time you cried when tryin to fill out an application. Well, try again. Get all you need - GCSEs, other info, altogether. Get a variety of application forms.

The info I need usually is qualifications, previous experience, (I've nothing to put there, never worked before) and references. (which I've had for some time now)

You're applying to uni still, yes? an application form is just like the UCAS form in ways. Alternatively, go into your local jobcentre or connexions. Get an appointment. Have you been to counselling? Treat it like that- except your aim is to get a job There, you can talk to someone, who will give you all the help and support that you need. they'll walk you through it.

I've been to counselling, my next one isn't for another three weeks, though. I've already got my CV, all I need to do is print it out, though it's the most unimpressive thing I've ever seen.

However, I can't use Connexions as that service is not available in Wales.