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Vote for post of the last few months

**helen****helen** Mod malarkistPosts: 9,235 Listening Ear
We're so on top of this :p

Lots of :heart: ly nominations for you to choose from, and remember, you can vote for more than one.

The key thing about dealing with life, is you need to be able to do it pretty much on your terms, and you need to be doing it for you. Having a supportive partner is great, but it's not a long term sustainable solution to being the only thing to keep life on the straight and narrow.

Nominated by Jo7
StrubbleS wrote: »
Wasn't for me. I am a drug lightweight and taking speed wasn't making the dating experience any better for me. I barfed in her lap and punched someone, before being escorted from the premises.

Nominated by Indrid
RubberSkin wrote: »
That's a bit unfair. The people who got the vibrators are bound to come first.

Nominated by baa ram ewe and hmmm7 - tis a response to Jo's thread about goodies after saying 'first come first served'
the thought is always scarier than the reality, and the reality is that you need help, lots of it and in a supportive environment that is geared towards your needs. Being at home is not helping you. Being at school is not helping you. If you really want to get better maybe it is worth trying something different that can help you. The scarier thing to me if i was you would be carrying on the way you are and living your life as it is, always hurting, always in pain, always scared.

I know it is scary, i felt exactly the same as you when it was brought up for me at your age but i honestly wish now that i had taken the chance to get better then, rather than lie to people and pretend i was ok when i wasn't and as a result waste my teens and twenties and my education which is what happened. The residential units are usually the last step for really intensive therapy and if you start being honest with people and truthful then maybe it needn't be the step that you need but people can only help you when you start helping yourself by being truthful.

Try not to scare yourself with reading stories and listening to what other people say as you will only hear the bad side of things. Try and focus on the positives of what it can do for you rather than the negatives. There are lots of people it has helped too and they have had positives changes as a result of it but you don't hear about that so much.

i fully sympathise with how scary all this is for you but people cannot help you if you won't let them. xx

*hug*

Nominated by Angel
Skive wrote: »
:yes:

The longest I've been unemployed since leaving education is 2 months, and that's not because I've been in the same job, I've had several. I just hate not working.

After leaving college I went through several jobs where I didn't use any of the qualifications I'd gained, some of them were shit jobs too (factory, Tesco, Mcdoanlds) but it kept me working.
I've also suffered a redundancy from one job I liked, and had to go back to shelf stacking whilst looking for another job I truly wanted

It's so important to work and keep busy, I think being unemployed makes you feel more shit than doing a job you think is beneath you. At least you're keeping busy. Being unemployed is soul destroying, it takes all your energy and self worth and you can become easily depressed leaving it even harder to find a job.

Better to be in a shit job whilst looking for a good job.

Nominated by Frankipanda
StrubbleS2 wrote: »
I remember walking my dog a few summers ago on the riverside of the Donau. There were two girls topless sunbathing and they had a little dog with them too. My dog went up to that little dog to play and my reluctant, half-assed attempts to pull him away to keep walking were vehemently resisted. So I had to hang around two gorgeous topless ladies who sat up to make conversation with me, while our dogs played.

Best wingman ever.

Nominated by **Summer-Raindrops**
Miss_Riot wrote: »
Its totally unreasonable to withdraw benefits from disabled people who won't take up jobs that would put their health at risk. I know people who have chronic anxiety issues who have been pushed into retail jobs, been sacked within the matter of weeks, and ended up back in the same position. Yes, people should be expected to look for work, but the goverment needs to put more money in making people more employable, and also have specialist advisers who can find suitable jobs that work with someone's disability rather than against it. The ESA medical is way too harsh! I've been to one myself with my mother, and she was in tears pretty much through out it. It was horrible to watch as a bystander, let alone go through it myself.

The goverment have got their priorities totally wrong about pushing people into work at any cost. Surely it would be cheaper to pay for people to be better prepared for the workplace, but also to help people find work that they can do and will enjoy/feel rewarded or whatever you call it.

Nominated by Steven Robert Gill
New from Cillit Bang, Dictator Bang


BANG and the dictator is gone.

Nominated by **Angel**
Namaste wrote: »
I respect the fact that people died fighting fascism, whether they were conscripted in the UK, or members of the International Brigades, POUM, Arditi Del Popolo ect (non government armies fighting fascism in other countries).

I don't wear a red poppy out of choice because I don't like the campaigns. If I were to give to a campaign to support ex-sevice people, they would have to be actively campaigning the government to put more in place to rehabilitate and help ex-army and be about ending imperialistic wars.

Saying this has offended people and tbh, I don't really care. I didn't support Iraq or Afghanistan... They're about natural resources and bullying other nations and governments are lobbied by the arms industries to invade and occupy. I support fighting fascism and moves to make sure that it doesn't come back. I support anti-war campaigns so people don't get their legs blown off in the first place and so that the civilians (so far as I know, most deaths in war have been civilians since 1945?) who have no choice in the matter, unlike people who enter the services, don't end up disfigured, dead, or giving birth to disabled children.

I observe the silence in work, but I didn't today. I'm not really in to tradition.

Nominated by Suzycreamcheese
Is it just about respect though?

I was always brought up, by home and school and Scouting, that the two minutes silence was as much about remembering the destruction that war causes and why we should really aim for never again.

Quite frankly to me, the awkward silence is almost the whole point. To try and make people take 2 minutes a year to think about the consequences of different opinions and of greed (which is essentially where war comes from). I would argue that some one who thinks that they shouldn't be made to suffer two minutes of awkward silence with their colleagues is hiding from spending two minutes facing up to the cold hard realities of the wars that have gone on in the past and are still going on today.

I can see Namaste's objection to poppys - given her attitude to the bigger picture, but to me actually the two minutes silence can be used as a motivator to try and get more people behind ending armed conflict.

Out of sight, out of mind is a great principle. It's one that works really well, but as a supposedly civilised free country I don't think it's one we should be encouraging when it comes to this topic. It's important to remember, not only the lives that were lost, but what they were fighting for - and how we've failed time and time again when it came to fighting for peace, and that it's probably time to take another line.

Nominated by Frankipanda
Big Gay wrote: »
I missed the two minutes silence this year, and it saddens me.

I observe the silence to show my respect to those who died or were injured, and to those that will die and be injured whether they were conscripted or if they did so did so willingly. I use the time to reflect on my hypocrisy over war. I am a pacifist, but I recognise truth in Orwell's statement "Those who abjure violence can only do so because others are committing violence on their behalf"

I believe in "just war" because I have no faith in the humanity of humankind.

Nominated by G-raffe
hard to say. Anything between 12 and 20. Im rubbish at guessing the age of teenage girls.

Nominated by Angelk01
And they're so versatile

Hard day at work ? How about a relaxing massge.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=598IdFlOXcQ

Of course, don't ask for 'extras' as it might offend

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C_S5cXbXe-4&feature=related

They're fun, fun FUN

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Bmhjf0rKe8

But sometimes, you just need and extra big, squeezy hug to make it all go away.

*CAUTION. This one is so sweet, watch it twice you'll probably get diabetes'

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GzgpeLFf4z4&feature=related

Nominated by baa ram ewe
JanePerson wrote: »
Guys are getting a rough deal in many ways.

I think both women and society in general give men mixed messages so its no wonder they feel confused and anxious. We tell young men that its good to be nice, kind and hard-working yet we actually seem to admire the alpha male jerks. We tell men that they should talk about their feelings and emotions but when a man asks for help most people don't want to know, he should just “man up” and “get on with it”.

I'm very much a feminist but I think one of the downsides is that it has left many men, the less alpha ones, with no obvious role. Maybe we need some honest dicussion about what it means to be a man in the 21st century.

Nominated by G-raffe
Was in the corner shop today, little old lady all pink n fluffy, buying her lottery, milk etc.

Gives the woman 3 scrachcards she'd won on.

*beep* £2

*beep* £1

*beep*

Shop assistant - 'I can't pay this one out'

Little old lady - 'Oh. Isn't it a winner ? I thought i'd won £10.'

Shop assistant - 'Yes, it's a winner. But it's £1,000. you'll have to go to the post office over the road to claim it.'

:)

Nominated by **Helen**

Going back to the original question, I'd leave anything serious about mental health issues until you're further down the line with someone. I've got a massive scar on my back and numb patch. I'll tell people early on that I'm a fidget. Why I'm a fidget comes later - the numb patch doesn't take being still for long periods too well. Why I've got a numb patch comes even further down the line. It's not my defining feature, it used to have a massive impact on my life, it still has a reasonable impact on my life, so it gets mentioned - but it's not the no. 1 thing about me.

Nominated by clementine_the_tangerine
If someone's too boring then people get bored. I don't know about you, but I've never stopped hanging out with a friend because it was too easy to win their friendship. Talking about "too easy" suggests that there's some sort of goal. I prefer to hang out with a girl I like because I enjoy her company, not as something I have to go through to achieve my goal (which is presumably "getting in her knickers").

I don't put a lot of stock in the sort of amateur psychology peddled by self-help relationship gurus and the like.

Nominated by Frankipanda
I think that before you can start to save money you need to know where you're spending your money. You've said before that you aren't sure where the money goes, I think it would be worth you writing a spending diary and keeping tracks of things.

Once you know where your money is going, you can look at ways of cutting down or changing your spending habits.

Other than that, it's difficult to be more than generic. Think about how many teas and cakes you have when you're out; if you spend £5 twice a week that's nearly fifty quid a month just on teashops. Same with magazines and other consumables. They might all only be £3 but those £3s quickly mount up.

I like Martin Lewis' money mantra: Do I need it? Can I afford it? Can I buy it somewhere else cheaper? Always walk away before impulse buying something.

Nominated by Hellfire

Phew...pretty sure that's it!

Happy voting. :thumb:

Vote for post of the last few months 17 votes

Scary Monster 1
11% 2 votes
StrubblesS 1
5% 1 vote
RubberSkin 1
5% 1 vote
**Summer-Raindrops**
0% 0 votes
Skive
17% 3 votes
StrubbleS 2
5% 1 vote
Miss_Riot
5% 1 vote
RubberSkin 2
0% 0 votes
Namaste
0% 0 votes
Scary Monster 2
0% 0 votes
Big Gay
5% 1 vote
Suzycreamcheese
0% 0 votes
RubberSkin 3
0% 0 votes
Jane Person
0% 0 votes
RubberSkin 4
17% 3 votes
Scary Monster 3
0% 0 votes
I'm With Stupid
5% 1 vote
Artic Roll
17% 3 votes
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