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Im a mug, what should i do?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I wrote this to the Samaritans, but i duno what to do.
I moved to Birmingham about 9 months ago, i left because i was really depressed, had no friends, didnt have a gf for 3 years, hardly left the house except for work and cried most nights because no one knew i existed. Since moving i got a new job (in fact i got a new one i start next month which i was really looking forward to.). I got a couple of nice friends who invite me out sometimes and a gf. She was really nice and sweet, she'd never had a bf before. I dont know why as she was attractive, a little shy i guess.
Well ive been with her over 7 months. Over this time ive known shes liked a guy called richard, she's known him for two years and has seen her in total about ten times. He messes her about, txting her that he wants her and wants to do 'stuff' with her and so on. He'll do this on and off every few weeks. Being a 'nice guy' i accepted this whilst my gf reassured me, but also told me i was being really paranoid. Well ive been messed around a number of times before and i know the signs. So i looked at the text messages in her phone and found loads from him and from her to him about getting together and doing 'stuff'.
Confronting her about this, it was turned around that i was paranoid and shouldnt go down her phone and that im the bad guy.
Ive since read msn logs she has sent to her friends, at the time saying she didnt want me, but i was better than the alternative (being alone). That she wanted this richard guy and hated loads about me. She even had one to him about how she wanted to get naked with him etc etc.
Things have got better since, we get on really well, shes excited to see me and all sorts. Except today when the richard guy started talking to her on msn. She hid the window so i couldnt see what he had written and made excuses. I knew what was going on, so when i found her phone again i read even more messages, sent TODAY about how she wants him more than ever with him sending her even more rude text messages.
Ive now gone back to being totally an utterly depressed, i want to kill myself again, i dont want to go to work tomo, i want to lock myself away and never be seen again. How can she call me paranoid when all this is going on, or lie to me constantly about him.
I dont know what to do, i know they havent done anything because he never see's her, its like attention or fun. But how can i be with someone who acts like this? Who treats me like this, who lies to me. I dont know if i should text them both saying i know or not or just ignore them both or i duno. I just dont want to be alive right now. Im meant to be happy, but im not, ive got a new job, and all i want to do now is lie in bed and fall asleep and never wake up.
I know that wont happen unless im 'lucky' somehow because i wouldnt know what to do to kill myself or even go through with it. But i do wish i was dead.
Im sorry for wasting your time, i just dont have anyone to talk to.
Marc
I moved to Birmingham about 9 months ago, i left because i was really depressed, had no friends, didnt have a gf for 3 years, hardly left the house except for work and cried most nights because no one knew i existed. Since moving i got a new job (in fact i got a new one i start next month which i was really looking forward to.). I got a couple of nice friends who invite me out sometimes and a gf. She was really nice and sweet, she'd never had a bf before. I dont know why as she was attractive, a little shy i guess.
Well ive been with her over 7 months. Over this time ive known shes liked a guy called richard, she's known him for two years and has seen her in total about ten times. He messes her about, txting her that he wants her and wants to do 'stuff' with her and so on. He'll do this on and off every few weeks. Being a 'nice guy' i accepted this whilst my gf reassured me, but also told me i was being really paranoid. Well ive been messed around a number of times before and i know the signs. So i looked at the text messages in her phone and found loads from him and from her to him about getting together and doing 'stuff'.
Confronting her about this, it was turned around that i was paranoid and shouldnt go down her phone and that im the bad guy.
Ive since read msn logs she has sent to her friends, at the time saying she didnt want me, but i was better than the alternative (being alone). That she wanted this richard guy and hated loads about me. She even had one to him about how she wanted to get naked with him etc etc.
Things have got better since, we get on really well, shes excited to see me and all sorts. Except today when the richard guy started talking to her on msn. She hid the window so i couldnt see what he had written and made excuses. I knew what was going on, so when i found her phone again i read even more messages, sent TODAY about how she wants him more than ever with him sending her even more rude text messages.
Ive now gone back to being totally an utterly depressed, i want to kill myself again, i dont want to go to work tomo, i want to lock myself away and never be seen again. How can she call me paranoid when all this is going on, or lie to me constantly about him.
I dont know what to do, i know they havent done anything because he never see's her, its like attention or fun. But how can i be with someone who acts like this? Who treats me like this, who lies to me. I dont know if i should text them both saying i know or not or just ignore them both or i duno. I just dont want to be alive right now. Im meant to be happy, but im not, ive got a new job, and all i want to do now is lie in bed and fall asleep and never wake up.
I know that wont happen unless im 'lucky' somehow because i wouldnt know what to do to kill myself or even go through with it. But i do wish i was dead.
Im sorry for wasting your time, i just dont have anyone to talk to.
Marc
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Comments
break-up, now!
I mean she's just waiting for the opportuity to fuck that guy.
It's not the action, it's the intention that distinguishes a criminal!
You already caught her being untrue, but she keeps doing it. You know it's the only option, if you can do it, is the other question.
Nah mate you're not, surprisingly, the biggest idiot going though you may feel that way, there are worse places to be.
We can be our own worst enemy's at times and we are our own worst critics. You've gotta change your thinking of things and shake off this attitude and start living and have fun. Feeling sorry for yourself all the time gets you know where, i know, i've been there and i've managed to pick myself back up with a new perspective on the world.
No one said anything in life would be easy that's for sure !
Yeah we all fell down and like shite for it but the only thing you can do is pick yourself back up and get back out there, a defeatist attitude as the wrong attitude, and again i speak from experience there !
AS for this girl. She is clearly not right for you and you should see this yourself. It's time to move on from this relationship, find yourself another girlfriend should you want one. I've read many a post by you and never replied but I feel i should now because you should let NO ONE let you feel like shite. Have some self belief man, you wouldn't believe what it can do for you.
You need to end this " relationship " and focus on living life for yourself first and foremost. Make your own happiness and things start working better for you, in all aspects of your life.
:yes:
Double :yes:
Get out and get out now ! You don't need some coniving old witch fucking you up. Yeah, i know it's gonna be hard but you're worth more than this backstabbing cow.
You're only an idiot if you put up with it and let her walk all over you. If she wants to fuck this other guy then let her, its her loss not yours. No, you're not being paranoid and the bad guy for confronting her about it, she's just trying to make you feel like you are because she suspects you'll accept it.
Being single is better than being with someone who totally undermines you and walks all over your thoughts and feelings. Having no gf is infinitely better than one who just treats you like a little poodle, there for fun when there's nobody else to play with.
There is someone out there for everyone and when you meet her, someone who loves you for who you are and treats you with kindness and respect, you will look back and wonder what on earth you were doing with this b!tch in the first place.
She's playing you for a fool mate, you know why? Because she can. Dump her.
Don't let her ruin your new life, you've got a great job by the sounds of it and some new friends. The most important thing is the relationship you have with yourself and building your self esteem, not your relationship with her.
Its going to end at some point, when she finds someone she thinks is better. It'll hurt alot more being left for someone else, than doing what she deserves and splitting up with her now.
If you have any respect for yourself whatsoever you'll stop her treating you this way, she's a twat.
Breaking up with my boyfriend was the best thing I ever did. For starters I was as depressed as you are and this shook me out of the worst of it, because I realised that either I could carry on the way things were and keep feeling as bad as I did - like I was more dead than alive - or I could try things differently, in the knowledge that I felt so bad already that nothing could actually make it any worse.
So I went to my friends and told them I was feeling sad and alone and stuff, and because they were nice people they invited me round a few times. And even when I didn't really feel like it, I went, and then they kept inviting me, and my world turned round. The more they wanted to see me, the less I felt like a waste of space, like a burden, like I wished I was dead. The more I realised I was way better than 'the alternative (being alone)". And you are way better than that too.
Please send me a PM if you want someone to talk to. This is bound to be rough as hell for you but it can either go on being crap or you can do things you don't really want to do and risk it getting better. Really hope you choose the latter.
You need to cut her out of your life, she is messing you about beyond belief which probably makes you feel like you want her more. But she will continue to fuck you around, probably right up until she finds someone she perceives as being better, as someone has already very wisely said! I think you should learn from your mistakes and move on otherwise this will just run and run with you being made to feel more and more used and worthless. She thinks you're weak and desperate and that may well be the way you feel, but from that point there really isn't much chance of salvaging any good from this - if there has even been any "good" about this relationship for a long time.
Lift your head up and dont contact her, when she wonders where her adoring fan has gone just ignore her text.
Move on; you dont deserve to be messed around.
The man speaks the truth.
I've just been completely and utterly betrayed by two people who I thought were two of my best friends in the world - one of which definitely was.
A shit fact of life is that this kind of stuff does happen. However, it's through crap like this that we grow stronger and wiser. Chin up mate and fight the good fight.
The guy doesnt actually live that far from her, maybe 5 miles away, yet cant be bothered to see her. And she really cant understand that. Its just recently shes liked me a lot more, shes wanted to keep stuff of mine (like tshirts) to remind her of me when im away and stuff.
The thing to decide now is do i let her mum know what has happened. She hates this richard guy, she was the one there comforting her daughter for two years because of how this guy treated her. Do i tell her? How do i tell her? What would i even say.
Still heres my prediction for 2007 - More depressive posts from me about how no one notices me when im out and about.