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[OLD] The 'I need a hug' thread - please read first post before posting :)

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    Past UserPast User Posts: 0 Just got here
    Ahhh, the great horse conspiracy! :D no problem ^^ have a good time!
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    Past UserPast User Posts: 0 Just got here
    pretty suddenly, I feel really angry and I keep thinking of the awful things I could say to other people... :/ I don't want to do that so I'll have to take it out on myself most likely.
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    GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    It's always emotional when someone leaves. Friend at works last day was today and it was so difficult :(
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    DancerDancer Community Champion Posts: 7,818 Master Poster
    Spook98 said:
    Ahhh, the great horse conspiracy! :D no problem ^^ have a good time!
    I survived! Didn't even fall off. Almost did though. I even trotted and rode down the road with 14 other girls from my school. There was basically beginners 1 and beginners 2. I was in beginners 1 with 6 other girls from school. It was awesome to be able to ride 
    "There's a part of me I can't get back. A little girl grew up too fast. All it took was once. I'll never be the same." ~ Demi Lovato
    "The way that I have found the light in my life is through the expressive arts because I know that I will be accepted for the way I am." ~ Me
    "I'm going to get strong again and see you soon. " ~ Anonymous 
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    Past UserPast User Posts: 0 Just got here
    Being home over summer is ruining me. Interested in nothing and awake at the exact opposite times as every other normal person. Leaving me to sit waiting for something to happen that never will, and way too much time to think.
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,522 Skive's The Limit
    I think ive had enough now sorry
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    davcr0ckdavcr0ck Posts: 774 Part of The Mix Family
    Spook98 said:
    Being home over summer is ruining me. Interested in nothing and awake at the exact opposite times as every other normal person. Leaving me to sit waiting for something to happen that never will, and way too much time to think.
    I can relate soo much @Spook98, hate the summer hoildays, I'm always up at 5am or 4am when everyone else is up at 10 or 11am and awake until 1pm and I'm awake until 11pm, I just sucks 
    Love is love and everyone is accepting and can share their issues with no judge from me and I try to help 
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    Past UserPast User Posts: 0 Just got here
    @davcr0ck that it does that it does, gotta take my tablets now and try to stay awake despite it lol
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,522 Skive's The Limit
    edited July 2019
    I have massive urges to do something I've done before but about 3/4/5 times as worse and wondering where it will lead me. Maybe I should go somewhere safe i don’t know but right now am home alone. Maybe will go to Samaritans but I only went on tuesday 

    [edited by moderator]
    Post edited by TheMix on
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    Past UserPast User Posts: 0 Just got here
    @Shaunie it's really important that you get some help and don't allow yourself to get more and more worked up. While you think it through it might be a good idea to go for a walk, to get yourself away from the things you could use to hurt yourself. The samaritans sounds like a good idea, they are there to help you no matter the time or situation. You said that it helped you last time right? You were comfortable, got a lot out and the person you spoke to was nice.
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    Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,154 Part of The Furniture
    Finally got somewhere with the follow up , waiting for a team to call who weren’t even the team following up and then finding out the liaison team tried to ring but had the wrong number just a whole shit show but finally am seeing the MH liaison team On Monday but I’m scared becuase it’s back in A&E and it says it’s a mental health assessment. What if I don’t come out of A&E and they try and keep me there 😩
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
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    Past UserPast User Posts: 0 Just got here
    @Millie2787 that's unlikely, I'm sure you will be fine. The assessment will likely be focused on how best to help you :) The conditions for keeping you somewhere are if you seem to be a danger to yourself or to others. Can't quite be honest and say it will be perfect though, given the NHS' quality. Once waited 6hrs in an A&E to get stitches and 12hrs for something much worse. I wish you a fast and helpful appointment :D
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,522 Skive's The Limit
    I don't want to die. I don't want to live. Don't really feel anything. But everything feels loud. 

    I'm on way to Samaritans. I know why haven't thought of coming before. Cause on the most dodgest road. Two weird men  already chatting & asking where I'm going & personal question. Lol can imagine me saying oh yeah just to samaratians. lol didn't said i don’t know lol.  F weirdos 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,522 Skive's The Limit
    I'm too scared to go in. So i don’t know what to do now
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    AifeAife Community Manager Posts: 3,039 Boards Guru
    Shaunie said:
    I'm too scared to go in. So i don’t know what to do now

    You can do it @Shaunie. We're here with you <3
    Maybe somethings don't get better, but we do. We get stronger. We learn to live with our situations as messy and ugly as they are. We fix what we can and we adapt to what we can't. Maybe some of us will never fully be okay, but at least we're here. We're still trying. We're doing the best we can. That's worth celebrating too ❤
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,522 Skive's The Limit
    Thank you Aife <3
    going to try again & go to door :///////
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    AifeAife Community Manager Posts: 3,039 Boards Guru
    You're so brave @Shaunie

    Have a read back through your post here about how you found it seeing them on Tuesday. It sounds like they were really helpful <3
    Maybe somethings don't get better, but we do. We get stronger. We learn to live with our situations as messy and ugly as they are. We fix what we can and we adapt to what we can't. Maybe some of us will never fully be okay, but at least we're here. We're still trying. We're doing the best we can. That's worth celebrating too ❤
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    davcr0ckdavcr0ck Posts: 774 Part of The Mix Family
    Uhmmm I was doing a 5k run and now I'm in a ambulance, what's happened 
    Love is love and everyone is accepting and can share their issues with no judge from me and I try to help 
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    Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,154 Part of The Furniture
    Too scared to see the liaison team on Monday :
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,522 Skive's The Limit
    edited July 2019
    I really don't feel well at all. Everything is very loud & really irritating my head:'(. Everything need to shut the fuck up cause everything sounds too loud. I cant cope i don’t know what is wrong with my head
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    Butterfly23Butterfly23 Posts: 810 Part of The Mix Family
    @Shaunie

    Did you manage to go to the Samaritans, and do you know if there is anything you could do tonight to calm the thoughts a little bit. Feel free to message me if you feel that'll help  <3
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,522 Skive's The Limit
    edited July 2019
    I did go to Samaritans thank you. She was nice & felt tiny bit calmer after.  

    I took my anti anxiety meds and i don’t know why because it always makes my head feel weird. Like what's the point in that. Now i don’t know what to do. It's really frustating 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    Butterfly23Butterfly23 Posts: 810 Part of The Mix Family
    @Shaunie

    Its really good that you went to the Samaritans branch again so well done! I'm glad that it was a positive experience and that you feel a little calmer. Maybe you can do some self care or relax for a bit tonight? something that doesn't involve a lot of energy as that may help  <3
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    DancerDancer Community Champion Posts: 7,818 Master Poster
    Owwwwww fuck it. Why are sunburns so painful? I have 2 sunburns both right on the same area of my neck. I got one burn yesterday whilst horse riding and the other one from sports day on Tuesday. 
    "There's a part of me I can't get back. A little girl grew up too fast. All it took was once. I'll never be the same." ~ Demi Lovato
    "The way that I have found the light in my life is through the expressive arts because I know that I will be accepted for the way I am." ~ Me
    "I'm going to get strong again and see you soon. " ~ Anonymous 
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,522 Skive's The Limit
    Cant speak to crisis messenger for atleast 48 hours/ 2 days cause I use too much. 
    Um okay. Sorry for being a burden 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    BubblesGoesBooBubblesGoesBoo Posts: 3,590 Community Veteran
    Couldn't even last a week out of hospital also they're forcing me to sleep in a bed 😭😭 
    ' So I put a bullet where I shouda put a helmet, and I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away, that's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself 'hey, I wanna get better''  
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,522 Skive's The Limit
    Kasa2103 said:
    Owwwwww fuck it. Why are sunburns so painful? I have 2 sunburns both right on the same area of my neck. I got one burn yesterday whilst horse riding and the other one from sports day on Tuesday. 
    Apperntly yogurt and milk help sunburns. But yeah maybe will feel weird putting it on your shoulders. I Hate sunburns
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,522 Skive's The Limit
    edited July 2019
    Maybe triggering. Safe, not in crisis, don't have plan and all that shit. 

    Just thoughts of ending my life which are not against the rules. 
    I feel like I don't want long term help. I don't really want to see rape crisis now. I feel done & like no one can help me in long term anyway.  
    In my head all I'm thinking about a way/s to die even tho I don't make plans - time ect. But I think about a way/s to die (that's not a plan though right?). And I know for sure if I I try to kill myself again, it will be successful. I'm fed up of my attempts that I feel like are maybe cries for help because there are ways I can end it in seconds and no one will be able to undo that. I won't be doing anything to seriously harm myself unless I know for sure will be dying from it. And tbh I feel like that's keeping me safe in a way. Cause I'm kinda a coward but kinda feel really serious about my thoughts but kinda feel like a coward like idek if that makes sense to someone else. 
    And  I'm not in crisis or have plan. Clearly just struggling with "suicidal" idealitation.

     It's possible I will feel this depressed for the rest of my life and I really can't be doing that. & Thinking about living another day, week, month , year.... feeling like this, feels like hell. 

    there's something in my life I can't seek help for and can't improve by myself so I am having lots of thoughts of ending my life. I feel like I'd be able to do more things and have friends if could improve but no. I feel like as longer goes on I feel more distressed with it

    Also I try to say "thoughts of ending my life" not "suicidal". Because of what I was taught in my training. But I feel like "thoughts of ending my life" sounds more like specific plansand more concerning and serious. (Maybe just me idek) But if ever read it like that - it's not what I mean- just mean "suicidal". 


    Also if a Mod sees this and I know it doesn't go against rules but if it still feels not okay for these thoughts to be up then I'd not write these sort if tell me. But I think okay 

    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    Butterfly23Butterfly23 Posts: 810 Part of The Mix Family
    Reminder to everyone that today is a new day... it’s a chance to move on from yesterday and start a fresh 💗

    xx
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,522 Skive's The Limit
    Butterfly23 said:
    Reminder to everyone that today is a new day... it’s a chance to move on from yesterday and start a fresh 💗

    xx
    Everyday is shit for me. But thanks
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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