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Only you can change the way things are. I understand its hard, and at times it may seem like its too much. But its sorta like riding a bike. You might fall down, but you wont make it if you stay down, you have to get back on and try again. I know how hard it can be, as i myself find myself feeling depressed a lot. But recently ive tried changing the way i feel and i can see the difference it makes. Its worth a shot isnt it? Take care x x x
You should make the most to having time that you can just spend on you. Perhaps get up early, have brekkie, and poper chill out. Watch some good movies and really indulge in making time for yourself x x x
Watch Happy Feet, just seen it myself and to be honest if it doesn't cheer you up nothing will
Just try be proactive with your free day, do something you enjoy and so on. Don't sleep till 2pm then wake up and mope about the place that will just make you feel worse.
Whats Happy Feet ?
The film about the singing and dancing penguins
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0366548/
Ah yeah, I'm with you.
Whatever floats your boat I suppose
I thought it was going to be crap but it's actually quite good for what it is. Anyways im going off topic, as said shadow try make something of your day off instead of letting it pass you by.
Agreed. Set yourself a goal. It could be making the first steps about joining a club or society. But set a goal for the day and put yourself out to achieve it. Psychologically once you start achieving your goals you will begin to feel much better.
First of all *hugs*.
God it sounds like you've had a really tough time recently. I too have depression so i kinda know how you might be feeling. I understand its hard, but you have to keep fighting.
Just by coming on here, you've been stronger than you think. And now you have somewhere to post and speak to people. I wouldn't however, use just this place if you're feeling so down. Have you thought about speaking to a professional for help?
And as for your friend. If she's as good a friend as she sounds, she'll probably be more upset if you didn't speak to her. Honestly, friends want to help, but they can't if they don't know everything
Take care
x x x
No problem shadow. Anytime you wanna chat. you know where my pm box is
Running away from things doesn't help. I know; I been there and bought the T-shirt.
I know its hard but you should think about joining some clubs or groups in order to meet new people. Sometimes the things that are best for us are the hardest. I'm sure it will be scary meeting new people and making new friends but in order for you to find any kind of happiness you need to start creating a life for yourself.
Think about the alternative...
Your going to have to go out and meet people sooner or later, you cant hide away forever. You have more than enough advice now from not just me but others on the boards. Its time to start using some of this advice and start making some effort to help yourself. Your the only one who can decide what you need at this time (counselor, friends etc) Work out what you want and set about getting it. But doing nothing isn't going to get you anywhere. The first step is understanding that.
:thumb:
*I know this might sound a little harsh but im just calling it how I see it*
what are you afraid of?
You can't let things that have happened in the past change who you will be in the future. Its a very lonely life living indoors and having no mates. surely this makes you feel misersable and this is why your confidence is so low.
the trick is to take the risk, dont waste your life in a lone existance. your not gonna get beaten up if you leave the house. and being killed is far less likely.
Just get out there, its totally worth it.
You can do it yourself, you HAVE to do it yourself. no one else can do it for you. it sounds to me like you want to change everything so quick but it doesn't work that way.
try gradual changes like start saying hi to people, go places on your own and take it from there.
as for your SH: This is my view, theres no real point to it. yeah, you feel like shit one minute, you harm yourself and it relieves the pain but in a week when things are better you think "why the hell did I do this?" because it hurts and you have to hide it from people. it doesn't solve any long term problems.
You just need to talk to someone about how you feel. try a friend, parents or someone. don't walk around with it bottled up.
don't look at it as the big overall task like you are doing, just take things very very small steps at a time. Tell yourself your gonna do 'xyz' task today and do it.. with shyness just small stuff like going to your nearest shop, buying something and saying "hi" and "thanks" or some random smalltalk to the person at the till... keep doing crap like that until it feels like second nature (which it eventually will), then just build on it- leave the stuff you feel the worst about until you feel a little more confident, dont jump in the deep end so to speak
Plus you need to stop this negative outlook stuff, noone is saying you're not trying, after all you probably have to try harder than a lot of people seeing as things that come naturally for some take more effort for others! If you go out just generally trying to 'help yourself' youll likely come back feeling shit because your goal of feeling better or whatever wontve been achieved. If you go out with a small task like being polite to a shopkeeper or chatting about the weather, then you can come back and know youve hit a target and made some progress.. obviously there will be some shit days and some good ones but you need to take them in your stride
if you aim for perfection you will always fail
granted, you feel like shit now but sitting around feeling bad for yourself changes nothing. in fact it only makes things worse.
Just be you.
you discover who you are from experience and through others... you can learn something about yourself even when you're 50 years old.
the more you get out and experience life, the more you will learn about who you really are
I guess getting a job or going to uni/college is the least intimidating way to meet people, cos in those situations people are expecting you to talk to people... also if you feel its really really dragging you down maybe see the doctor, can help lots to tell someone in person!
agreed.
Shadow. if you keep sitting around feeling sorry for yourself then people will stop trying to help you. you need to actually take the advice being given and drop with the lame excuses. only then can you change.
sorry if that was harsh but its the honest truth.
Your going to have to deal with worse than my fair comments in real life Shadow. If you want to get better then draw up a plan of how your going to do it. But hiding away and refusing to help yourself will get you nowhere.
If your looking for someone to keep telling you your not daft, not a waste of time etc etc and tell you what you want to hear, your kidding yourself. People on the boards will bend over backwards to help, but you have to do your fair share.
:thumb:
and your welcome by the way.