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Do you have anyone who you trust enough to talk to? They don't even need to be a "real" person, the internet can be a great place to talk to people. Often internet people know more about the feelings than anyone, and its important to remember that you aren't the only person in the world.
Not so many years ago I was in a similar position, I was self-harming and I'd been diagnosed as Borderline, and was trying to kill myself every week or two. Now I have a great girlfriend and a good job and life's a lot better. I was able to talk to someone, and I got NHS therapy, and it made so much difference.
If you want to PM me you're more than welcome.
Why not consider speaking to someone who isn't part of the health service? That way you could discuss what options might be available, or what that would mean, without taking that step to actually involve someone officially.
Saneline on 0845 767 8000 are geared specifically to mental health issues and might provide you a chance to just unburden yourself of how you are feeling and talk about possible ways forward.
But do think about being open with your counsellor - counselling often works best when someone is able to discuss anything they are going through, not feeling they have to bottle things up from the people trying to help.
Your counsellor should be able to help you discuss anything you're feeling - and help you to do it in an enviroment that is secure enough to not be scary or out of control when discussing those issues and feelings.
TBH, I think you should tell your counsellor about your suicide attempts because then you might get the help you need.
You could also try the live chat support at Recover Your Life: http://www.recoveryourlife.com/Live_Chat/General_Chat/default.aspx
Does anyone know if the nurse is likel to say anything to me about my scars or not? Currently, the scabs have fallen off and I've just got white (ish) scars all down my arms.
just thinking of 2moro morning when u wake up, after getting through another bad time- u can do it Sofie.
sometimes it feels like i'm trapped in this world all alone. i go out i laugh i smile i drink i smoke i make merry but the person i am is sat inside screaming be urself. it hurts so much the urge to constantly cry and to repress that to speak to my parents on the fone and pretend that im ok that life's good when what i want most of all is to escape it. is that so wrong? after 9 years of depression and 6 years of prozac i would have thought it would get better but most days its still hard to find a reason to get out of bed to live. i wish that i could die but everytime i should and i mean really should it never happens. i worked this weekend til 4 on sat and sunday night and i walked home all the time wishin hopin that i'd get stabbed or run over just something to end it that wouldn't be my fault. its all wrong all of it is so wrong
why do things always seem so much more complicated even though your trying to make them clearer by helping yourself-i know i should be totally honest with my counsellor but i just cant tell her bout od
sorry