If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨
Starting a sexual relationship
This discussion has been closed.
Essential support for under 25s
Comments
Amongst the contributors here are one saying that she only wants sex once a month, another saying she prefers companionship and another saying that he chose to wait a year. If any of you loved sex you'd want it much more often than that. If I were dating a girl, I'd want and expect sex with her on the first date, and on every subsequent date. What do you think I should (want to) do with her instead - play dominoes? Sex or dominoes ........... let me think .......... which is more enjoyable ...........ummmmmm ............?
If you agree that it's amazing, why isn't it 'given', why do girls want me to jump through hoops, 'sweep them off their feet', know them for ages etc. first. It's great, so do it every day. How many days do you have without eating? Why choose to have days without sex?
Neither are any of you. I want to know how to get a lot of sex. It's normal for a young man to want to have sex frequently; stop trying to make me feel as though I shouldn't. Advise me as to how to get lots of sex.
Says the guy who has never had sex?
Quite frankly, your rudeness and judgemental attitude is just as off-putting as your creepy, out-dated misogynistic views towards women.
Real live people who are having sex have told you their thoughts, tried to help you. But you seem to know it all, despite never having had sex. So why don't you go somewhere else, where people will pander to your thoughts and tell you how women are just little fuck dolls that can be used for sex as much as they want and for your pleasure only.
Alternatively, you could think about why you came here in the first place. Because your current strategy wasn't working. You could look past your views, open your mind and take into account what people are saying.
It's regrettable that you have had bad experiences in the past and people haven't always been nice to you. But if you want help, you need to embrace it and think about what we are saying. Maybe then you will get somewhere with a kinky partner who has the same ideas about sex as you.
Pay for it?
I've enjoyed thousands of orgasms (you haven't) and I've never experienced anything that I can compare on the same scale to that. My right hand feels good, my artificial vagina feels even better, so I know that the real thing would be better still.
(I have)
Surely getting some is better than getting none?
No-one on here has stated a viable method of getting sex every day. Had they done so, I'd try to follow it.
Because there is no viable method, probably.
I'm not kinky; I don't have any paraphilias. A girl on a dating website told me that she doesn't want me because I'm "vanilla".
Sex every day with prostitutes would cost tens of thousands of pounds per year. I've clearly stated that I'm poor.
Jesus. Look, your quest to find daily, easy, amazing sex has failed long enough for you to reach your 30s. There is a message here. As Kate said, open your mind, be more accepting of what people say, come to the reality that your current approach is NOT working, and believe what we're saying. We could go on for 100 more pages and our advice would not change. So, are you going to accept what's being said or stay disappointed with your situation? They're basically your options.
The world does not owe you sex. You are not automatically entitled to sex. Sex is something you have with another human being - human beings are people with independent thoughts and feelings. I reiterate what I said before - no matter how attractive you are, the common person does not want to sleep with a douchebag or a total stranger; of which you would be both.
I'm frustrating myself by continuing to post here because I know nothing will make a difference.
Then I guess you'll have to try what we have been telling you? What other options have you got?
If there were no viable method, no-one would be having sex. A person typically works out a method, then sticks to it. In that respect it's similar to doing schoolwork, chores at home, tasks at work etc.
Why do you think that I'm in my thirties?
Apologies, I thought you said you were. My mistake. 24. My point still stands.
There are methods to get sex, we have explained them.
We said everything we could say after the first page. Then we said it again and again, then you told us you're autistic, so we explained again, then you insulted us. You have replies from people age about 14-35 at a guess, of all genders, sexualities, backgrounds. If there was an answer we would have told you by now.
Your first sentence says that there are methods of getting sex. Your last sentence says that there isn't an answer. That's a contradiction. If there's a way for me to get lots of sex, tell me it. If there isn't, why claim that there is?
There are ways of getting sex. They involve being nice and treating girls like humans, getting to know them and showing an interest, as we have explained for however many pages. There are no ways of walking up to a girl and getting her to have sex with you.
I've tried that many times; it has never even resulted in a kiss, let alone sex.
Yes there are - it frequently happens in nightclubs. I saw a colleague of mine at the time do this; I didn't hear what was said, due to the loud music. Minutes after meeting her for the first time in a nightclub, he was having sex with her in his car. He did not 'get to know her'.
I asked my colleague this question. He said that he has the gift of being able to get sex whenever he wants. He said that it can't be learnt. He said that you either have it or you don't; that he has it and I don't, hence I never will.
Okay so there's your answer. There's no magical solution, there's no string of words or a certain routine.
Ah! finally. An outside perspective. But you did not like it and hoped we'd tell you something else.
Let me repeat what I said on page 4 or so. Being able to pull someone and take them home is a bit of a gift. It takes practice and you need to be good at it. You need to be a good conversationalist, make her feel good about herself, make the whole "date" thing enjoyable. you think that wanting sex should be enough and I told you pretty much everyone likes sex. You need to be able to offer more than that. But once again: it is no magic phrase or little trick. No, you do not need to wine and dine her and listen to her life story for half a year, but you need something to offer. Skills. You cannot just say "do this, say this and you win"
It is like you are at you first day at work. Do you think you will be as good and efficient at it than the guy who did it for 10 years? Why doesn't he just tell you what to say to your boss or what to do with your hands so you are instantly good and have great success?
You will 99,99% never be the first choice of any girl. You are obsessed, you are socially atrophied, you have no money and you are by you own description not good looking. Basically you are offering someone a rusty, crummy 1960 volkswagen in beige with weird stains on the seating, but the next guy offers a cherry red Porsche 911. If there is any way you get a girl to take your VW it is when there is no competition with another car, i.e. when you get to know her and show her the character this car has, how reliable it is. That takes time. If your offer is "take the car in the next 10 seconds or not at all" chances are very high she will not buy it. She does not feel confident that that is what she wants. If you try to offer your crummy car in a nightclub where there are others who offer sportscars, you won't be in luck.
tl;dr: You do not possess what woman are looking for when they jump into bed with somebody immediately. It's like you are asking you how to buy a yacht with your job at ASDA. I know this is very disappointing to you, but believe me, if I could easily and reliably have sex every day I would. Most people are able to accept that this is not how the world works and stop being disappointed when they leave their teenage years. sex is a mountain and to reach the summit via a shortcut you need to be a very gifted climber, but you are in a wheelchair. If you want to reach the top you need to take the nice, gentle, but long route. The sooner you accept that it is not in your capacity to woo girls with a few pickup lines and a fiery desire to have sex the sooner you can actually start your ascend on the long road, instead of sitting in the valley and looking up the steep wall you'd need to climb up to.
Develop and nurture a relationship with a partner to the point where you have lots of sex.
This is the answer. It's not the answer you're wanting, but I can't help that. The alternative is that you pay someone and that someone will then allow you to have sex with them. That is, however, illegal in a number of places, and expensive in every place.
There is no fast track for you, and no instant solution. The fact that you want to have lots of sex does not equate to you getting lots of sex. A whole lot of people want stuff that they can't or won't get. Them's the breaks.
Being confined to a wheelchair would mean that there is no chance that I will be able to reach the mountain's summit by any route.
How do I do that? Girls have never wanted me. How do I approach them? What should I pretend to be interested in, so that they are more likely to want me? I've been told that mentioning sex will repulse them, so what should I talk to them about to make them wet?
No-one has said that mentioning sex will put them off. However, making it obvious that you're just after sex, will.
Not with that attitude! but if that is the only reason you respond to my post then you are still 2 feet over your neck in denial thinking that your pipe dreams come true.